Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
I am a 16 year's old student, althouth you may consider me too young to actually go on the internet seraching for dating tips, i am deeply troubled here.
Although i have this young, baby face look (some think of me as too immature look), medium build and a bright personality, i never actually feel specifically attracted to a girl in any emotional way althgough many of my friends say i can pick up most girls with my look and characteristcs. Well, that is, until a week ago. I met this girl a bit younger than me named Vicky. I first saw her and i knew she's different.
I got her MSN, chatted and knew her better, and found her aside from her absolutly gorgerous look and interesting personalities, she has an amazing number of similarities with me. We both share a similar pain from our disastrous families, have issues in school and other things that i can really relate to from her.
We met for the first time last Saturday. It was virtually my first time going out with a girl i have real feelings to, but it went surprisingly well. We walked in the park with great sceneries, talked just about everything, from friends, the world, to music etc. Then at night i went to her apartment's park and talked more. That day she even suggested to come over to my house and stay for the night because my mom was out and she hated her dad which mistreated her mother. But i had great concerns of her deciding to stay at stranger's house too easily, although i knew i would not harm her in anyway at my house, i was affraid that she would do the same with the other guys she will meet in the future. So i persuaded her not to come.
That event showed how much trust i had already gained from the first meeting, and that day left us both exceptionally happy with sweet memories. I thought all would go well between us, but then comes the troubles.....
Maybe i am still immature and naive, but i just feel so helpless and weak. Since that meeting, there has never been a day that i don't think about her, i always try to think of her image at my mind, always. Although i barely know her, i just care and love her so much that there's no word to desribe it. When she told me how some kids mistreat her at school, i had this uncontrollable anger to stalk those kids and beat them up bad. There was this MSN meeting when she was a bit mad at me and went offline to avoid me, my heart was just, cold, like freezing winds chilling my body into -30 degrees Celsius. I felt my body empty, shallow, and, hurt. I have never had this feeling before chatting to a girl on MSN.
But the more i know her, the more i feel how hopless this "relationship" is gonna be. She likes me as a friend, but she has never planned to have a dating relationship with anyone, saying that young peoples' love are pointless and doomed to end. I was living with this theory for years in school as well, never consider dating a girl, just until i met Vicky and found myself helplessly in love with her.
I also discovered the harsh reality of how my pressence is still insignificant to her. Ironcially, just one meeting, and i already found Vicky at the top of my mind when it comes to going out, and no longer my good friends. But she doesn't feel the same.
MSN meetings are going worse and worse, having less and less topics to talk to and she is getting less ethusiastic for replies. I have feelings that she has less and less interest in me, even for a simple friend.
Maybe i am this absolutely stupid and naive young person who is desperate for a little love, or this in fact is not love at all. I am lost, and i need a light, wise words, a guide, desperately.
Plz help me guys. Thank you.
From A Sailor Lost in the Seas without Sails
Although i have this young, baby face look (some think of me as too immature look), medium build and a bright personality, i never actually feel specifically attracted to a girl in any emotional way althgough many of my friends say i can pick up most girls with my look and characteristcs. Well, that is, until a week ago. I met this girl a bit younger than me named Vicky. I first saw her and i knew she's different.
I got her MSN, chatted and knew her better, and found her aside from her absolutly gorgerous look and interesting personalities, she has an amazing number of similarities with me. We both share a similar pain from our disastrous families, have issues in school and other things that i can really relate to from her.
We met for the first time last Saturday. It was virtually my first time going out with a girl i have real feelings to, but it went surprisingly well. We walked in the park with great sceneries, talked just about everything, from friends, the world, to music etc. Then at night i went to her apartment's park and talked more. That day she even suggested to come over to my house and stay for the night because my mom was out and she hated her dad which mistreated her mother. But i had great concerns of her deciding to stay at stranger's house too easily, although i knew i would not harm her in anyway at my house, i was affraid that she would do the same with the other guys she will meet in the future. So i persuaded her not to come.
That event showed how much trust i had already gained from the first meeting, and that day left us both exceptionally happy with sweet memories. I thought all would go well between us, but then comes the troubles.....
Maybe i am still immature and naive, but i just feel so helpless and weak. Since that meeting, there has never been a day that i don't think about her, i always try to think of her image at my mind, always. Although i barely know her, i just care and love her so much that there's no word to desribe it. When she told me how some kids mistreat her at school, i had this uncontrollable anger to stalk those kids and beat them up bad. There was this MSN meeting when she was a bit mad at me and went offline to avoid me, my heart was just, cold, like freezing winds chilling my body into -30 degrees Celsius. I felt my body empty, shallow, and, hurt. I have never had this feeling before chatting to a girl on MSN.
But the more i know her, the more i feel how hopless this "relationship" is gonna be. She likes me as a friend, but she has never planned to have a dating relationship with anyone, saying that young peoples' love are pointless and doomed to end. I was living with this theory for years in school as well, never consider dating a girl, just until i met Vicky and found myself helplessly in love with her.
I also discovered the harsh reality of how my pressence is still insignificant to her. Ironcially, just one meeting, and i already found Vicky at the top of my mind when it comes to going out, and no longer my good friends. But she doesn't feel the same.
MSN meetings are going worse and worse, having less and less topics to talk to and she is getting less ethusiastic for replies. I have feelings that she has less and less interest in me, even for a simple friend.
Maybe i am this absolutely stupid and naive young person who is desperate for a little love, or this in fact is not love at all. I am lost, and i need a light, wise words, a guide, desperately.
Plz help me guys. Thank you.
From A Sailor Lost in the Seas without Sails
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