Please help

[cupraikso]

Hi folks,

I was just dumped by a girl after a 3 year old relationship because of a stupid mistake I made (I started "seeing" although not sexually, someone else). I told her the truth two weeks ago and things got very cold.

We still talked every day, she called me, or I called her, we even went out to see a movie as 'friends'. Everything was fine.

On Monday I called her, no answer. On Tuesday I also did. No answer. Wednesday she called me at about 11pm saying that she has been busy going out with friends, but she told me that we should talk today and that she would answer me today. Today I called, no answer. I blew up her phone and I now feel very guilty.

All of them are retarded moves, I know that. I'm not trying to win her back, I just want to apologize and not end up like an *******.

The thing is that jealousy has struck me at full force, although it's all MY fault. She must be banging someone as we speak. We always talk in the mornings, but in the evenings she's unavailable. I know she's banging someone else right now.

I just took a 4mg dose of a tranquilizer (clonazepam) and the jealousy has subsided but I can't stand the sadness. I just want to sleep all day until I forget this s--t.

What the hell does one do in this situation?

F--n s--t sucks.

 

[Jaylan]

I feel for you dude. And I commend you for being honest with her, as most people lack honor nowadays. But I think you have "want what you cant have" syndrome. Honestly, I feel if you were "seeing" other women, be it emotionally or physically, it means that you were kinda getting tired of your now ex gf.

I think you need to give her space and find comfort in some good friends. Go out with them and just take a break from this situation for a little bit. You dont want to badger her and further push her away.

But know this. Broken trust is a hard thing to overcome, so I wont sit a tell you your chances of getting her back are good. Just go out with your friends like I said. And remember, by telling her the truth, you did the right thing by being honest and selfless. Never tell yourself you would have been better off lying, because that just deepens the hole you dig and could have made things worse.

Good Luck.

 

[cupraikso]

Thank you very much Jaylan.

I don't have hope for winning her back, and that is not my concern here.

I want to leave with my head up high, and I can't shake the feeling of 'being a loser' and 'losing the good thing I had' for a fling.

What's more infuriating is that I am extremely faithful, but this was an exception due to finding someone else that I found 'exceptional', and I didn't have sex with her, but I did kiss her.

Now she does not trust me at all. Which is understandable, but hurts a lot being judged like that since 99.9% of the time I was with her I was extremely faithful.

That's the rage and sadness I'm dealing with the moment.

It's so freaking unfair. And she will be soon banging someone that just plays games with her, because she's attracted to those kinds of guys.

Anyways, thankfully the pills have gone in full force I believe.

By the way, they are stored in a little box that saids "open in case of breakup". I don't encourage anyone swallowing pills, but in my case, it's the only way I can be calm and avoid a freaking nervous breakdown.

Thank you, science.

Thank you guys.

 

[Drdeee]

3 years is about time the love chemicals subside. Both in you and in her. You are just feeling bad about yourself, ego is hurt. Approach this with mind instead of emotion.

You are probably a bad match for her. You went on drugs because of this little thingy.

She's probably a bad match for you too.

Time will put things into place. Instead of trying to kill yourself with negative thoughts and drugs, try to live healthy, see what needs to improve in you, and improve it.

Bottom line, it's not up to you to control who she banging. Aw aw aw your ego is going nuts over this fact right now.

 

[Yo'Mama]

I take Clonazepam and 4mg is a big dose. Be careful!

 

[Mike32ct]

When a woman says, "Just tell me the truth about what happened...," it's a TRAP. It's always a trap.

"Just tell me the truth, and we can put it behind us. I'm not so upset about what you did, but just can't stand that you lie to me about it."

Translation: As soon as I get the truth out of you, you're history buddy.

But live and learn. There are other women out there.

 

[Jaylan]

Thank you very much Jaylan.

I don't have hope for winning her back, and that is not my concern here.

I want to leave with my head up high, and I can't shake the feeling of 'being a loser' and 'losing the good thing I had' for a fling.

What's more infuriating is that I am extremely faithful, but this was an exception due to finding someone else that I found 'exceptional', and I didn't have sex with her, but I did kiss her.

Now she does not trust me at all. Which is understandable, but hurts a lot being judged like that since 99.9% of the time I was with her I was extremely faithful.

That's the rage and sadness I'm dealing with the moment.

It's so freaking unfair. And she will be soon banging someone that just plays games with her, because she's attracted to those kinds of guys.

Anyways, thankfully the pills have gone in full force I believe.

By the way, they are stored in a little box that saids "open in case of breakup". I don't encourage anyone swallowing pills, but in my case, it's the only way I can be calm and avoid a freaking nervous breakdown.

Thank you, science.

Thank you guys.

You left with your head higher than others because you were at least honest with her and did not make things worse. You did not sleep with the girl and I give you props as its sometimes easy for us men to let hormones cloud the brain.

However, you still cheated with the kiss, so while you can feel its unfair, you have to know that this is how the cookie crumbles. So it is fair bro.

Ask yourself what you would have done in her position had she come to you and said she had fallen for someone and kissed him. That usually helps me come to grips with someone elses decisions. I cant expect someone to do something I wouldnt do myself.

It will get better in time, and I know these words arent a big band aid for the hurt youre feeling. Hell I know how bad it feels to screw up a relationship and push someone away and feel gutted. But you HAVE to get out there with your friends and have some fun. It keeps her out of your mind and helps you heal.

And for fvcks sake dude, dont **** with drugs and pills man. Especially at a time like this. The last thing you want is to end up in the hospital by accident.

Best of Luck.

 

[cupraikso]

Thanks a lot guys. I'm here to report that the dose was not very high, just enough to make me sleep all day.

Well, after three years of a crazy relationship, and a fling that I discarded because I didn't want to totally cheat, I have ended with a pool of ZERO friends.

So on top of all this sh-t I'm very alone. Maybe the gym can help a bit on this regard but I'm not very optimistic.

Time to rebuild life from ground zero.

Drugs have saved my life on this occasion.

 

[A.M. Bergoise]

IMHO you only misbehaved by not secureing the exceptional girl. I recently made a very simular mistake, only in a very diff. Situation. I was with the only girl I ever loved and feel validates who I am for about 5 years. I only date bi girls, and dot beleive in monogamy as a natural place for a man. This Being the girl who validates me, understood & agreed. She retained a feeling of controll by being able to say yes/no about certain others, & I played along, untill I had the chance to hook up with a girl I wanted for a long time and never did. She said "no". THIS time I took complete offense, told her she wasnt going to tell me what I would or wouldnt do, we fought like hell and broke up, didnt speak for around 6 months, we are starting back talking, but to make matters worse, I quickly became bitter & blamed the new girl for messing up my situation, ended up ditching her.
What I should have done is what you should have and may still can is, NOT to let it happen in vain. You are NOT an ass for going after exceptional, nor being honest about it. If she thinks so, thats her hurt feelings. You shouldnt have a bruised ego, you went for, and got better, your not throwing it away are you? You didnt lose "freinds" some unthinking ass's without reason dont want to hang with you right now is all.
If the new girl is truly eceptional, go get her. Let the bs ride. Time willl fix it. Assuming your really not in lub with her.