Please Help With My Life...

[djinhell]

Hi Guys

Im more of a lurker than a poster on this forum, but its a new year, so I want to sum up my life in a way, and get your feedback on the situation so I can improve.

-Im 23, im in my first year doing a university course. (my course is local, so I live in my parents house)

-Im a virgin (I had an opportunity a couple years back with a girl who was a bit of a slut, but when we both got naked I lost my erection...HOW BAD IS THAT!?, and I must admit that has scarred me quite a bit...and im worried about that happening again when im in that situation.

-Im tall. Im 6ft 5in, im not majorly skinny but im not hugely muscular, I guess im slender and toned. I think my height is a problem. I like shorter girls, and I think most are put off by my height, and its awkward to kiss them and hug them without me feeling self conscious about it.

-Im quite lonely in terms of female companionship, I have got a couple of friends who are girls, but they are in serious relationships.

-My best friend who was in a similar boat to me has recently got a girlfriend, and they are getting quite serious, so I find myself more and more isolated, and oftentimes left with no-one to hang out with.

-I used to be quite shy, but I have come out my shell, and if im in a conversation with a hot girl I will do fine, and im not so bad with the ****y funny stuff, the main issue I have is getting into the conversation with a female prospect in the first place, cos most of the time I never make the effort of the cold approach, whether im in a bar, or at uni.

MY GOALS ARE:-
lose virginity asap
be more confident with my height
get a girlfriend

Again, im sorry its a long post, but its a new year and It would be really helpful for you guys to give me some feedback on my current situation, and anything you think I could do to improve, and anything you think is a genuine problem with my current situation.

Many Thanks

 

[BudBundi]

Ditch the girlfriend Goal. For reasons that should be obvious if you've taken the time to read up.

Gaining confidence with your height should be your main objective. Become involved with something that makes your height very useful. Basketball comes to mind right off the bat, but there are lots of sports and activities where a tall person has an advantage. Try all of those that you find, and stick to the ones you enjoy. An activity will also tone you up good and proper, which is always a boost to the confidence.

 

[Energizer]

Hi Guys

-Im 23, im in my first year doing a university course. (my course is local, so I live in my parents house)

Can't you rent an apartment?

-Im a virgin (I had an opportunity a couple years back with a girl who was a bit of a slut, but when we both got naked I lost my erection...HOW BAD IS THAT!?, and I must admit that has scarred me quite a bit...and im worried about that happening again when im in that situation.

Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Having aniexity issues where you lose your erection is a bad thing. Sex is there to be enjoyed, it's not a competition, relax and enjoy.

-Im tall. Im 6ft 5in, im not majorly skinny but im not hugely muscular, I guess im slender and toned. I think my height is a problem. I like shorter girls, and I think most are put off by my height, and its awkward to kiss them and hug them without me feeling self conscious about it.

A lot of petite women like tall men, they'll view you how you view yourself. You are self conscious about your height and it is noticeable, especially to women. You need to work on accepting that you cannot change your height and there's worse things in the world than being tall.

-Im quite lonely in terms of female companionship, I have got a couple of friends who are girls, but they are in serious relationships.

That's not even an issue

-My best friend who was in a similar boat to me has recently got a girlfriend, and they are getting quite serious, so I find myself more and more isolated, and oftentimes left with no-one to hang out with.

Make new friends then, join a club of some sort, you can make new friends anywhere, Uni would be a great place to start and a great place to meet women, interact with women and learn about women through experimentation.

-I used to be quite shy, but I have come out my shell, and if im in a conversation with a hot girl I will do fine, and im not so bad with the ****y funny stuff, the main issue I have is getting into the conversation with a female prospect in the first place, cos most of the time I never make the effort of the cold approach, whether im in a bar, or at uni.

MY GOALS ARE:-
lose virginity asap
be more confident with my height
get a girlfriend

Again, im sorry its a long post, but its a new year and It would be really helpful for you guys to give me some feedback on my current situation, and anything you think I could do to improve, and anything you think is a genuine problem with my current situation.

Many Thanks

Try striking up conversations with girls anywhere and everywhere, introduce yourself, get comfortable with initiating contact. Your lose your virginity comment smells of insecurity, which is what women can tell from your body language. Being a virgin is not something to be ashamed about, what is shameful and is harming your prospect of getting laid is your want to rid yourself of your virginity. Get a girlfriend is nice, but don't force the issue, let things happen the way they'll unfold with time and make 2009 about enjoying life.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Man your 6 5 and insecure about it? Are you serious? Thats like the perfect height. I started balding in grade 8 buddy.. now thats an ISSUE

Don't worry so much about stuff man. Heres a good idea for you.. get a part time job at a mall at a store that would allow you to do sales. You would want to get one at a place that girls do visit and not a guys store. That way you can just approach girls like crazy and if they are hot just try to start a convo. In a couple of months you will be fine. Only possible problem is if you ask for numbers all the time and chicks complain. If your talking to a chick for like 20 min your probably good. Plus its not like you have to work all the time.

 

[everywomanshero]

I second the notion that getting rid of the vriginity should be done ASAP. You aren;t going to live forever, it's time to start living and succeeding right now. Do whatever it takes to lose the virginity. Get into more conversations with women, start conversations with them all the time. The gas station, around town, at school, etc. Be in conversation with lots of women regularly and talk your head off everywhere you go. This sitation will clea up as long as you don't overthink it too much or take no action. I would make it an issue just to hookup a lot right now and if a gf happens, fine, but dont start staying home hoping some girl calls you, life is too short for that, be a man of action and women will start squirting in their pantys, they will just be able to feel adventure when with you

 

[wolf116]

Really try to get on-campus accommodation!
I really regret living off campus. Some of the dorkiest guys I've met have gotten laid just because they live in close quarters with girls.
Party's are the easiest way to meet girls and you have access to them all when living on campus.

Make a new years resolution to hit the gym hard, being tall with a few muscles makes things much easer. Check out the H&F forum.

As for the limp thing, I had the same problems, it's anxiety.
You will just need to find a girl who you are comfortable with and eventually it will work. One night stands may have to wait until you have a bit of experience. Lower your standards a few clicks and the girls are more patient and will even help you out with your problem.

The hardest thing for most guys is actually approaching the girl.
Work on that.

 

[djinhell]

Hi Guys

Thanks for the advice. Its nice to know this community is here to help us all out.

Yeah I totally agree with everything you guys have said. I need to start approaching, rather than waiting for someone to come to me which will never happen. (strangely when i was a few years younger I was much bolder, and had a few impressive successes) but seem to be losing confidence more and more but NO MORE!!:nono:

The thing is I have had opportunities with girls, but for some reason never thought they were the "right one" in most cases..(but also a couple cases of major oneitis and afc'ness)

I guess if I want to increase the amount of women in my life, I have to increase the amount of women I approach and interact with...as simple as that.

Im making plans for going out tomorrow night as we speak :yes:

Cheers Guys

 

[milo]

You could do the DJ bootcamp with me, I start today.