Please help ASAP!

[Theminatar]

So, I'm pretty much new to what you guys call the 'game', but here's my issue:

I'm a 17 year old Junior in HS and I really like this girl, but she likes a few other guys that go to a different school. We talk during school, and I'm friends with her best friend. We've been going to school withe each other for the past 6 years.

I am mixed up here:

I have ADD and when I take my meds I am calmer than the sea, and really nice. She hates it when I'm nice so she tells me to stop taking my meds(haha). When I'm off my meds I'm sort of an a$$hole(so she says) but she likes that. The other day she told me I need to be in the middle, I have to be the a$$hole she likes, but also be nice.

I know exactly what I want; I want to be more than friends.

The only problem is she likes someone else, and I'm not the most social person in the world. I'm not a fan of meeting new people, and I'm shy around new people. But I'm comfortable with people I've known for a while. I'm friends with her best friend but as some of you High schoolers know, within groups you have a social loop, I'm not in that social loop. I try texting her but she never texts back, and when I mention it she always says something along the lines of being to busy...

Any advice is welcomed. I just fear she may date someone and it'll be to late.

Oh, one last thing. I'm not in the 'Friend Zone', I'm just a friend of hers.

 

[P­ornography]

who cares

 

[P­ornography]

seriously this thread sucks.

 

[Amo]

Hello Theminatar!

Hello Theminatar! Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, or as some people like to call it, the Don Juan Discussion Forum!

Please help ASAP!
So, I'm pretty much new to what you guys call the 'game', but here's my issue:

I'm a 17 year old Junior in HS and I really like this girl, but she likes a few other guys that go to a different school. We talk during school, and I'm friends with her best friend. We've been going to school withe each other for the past 6 years.

First off, it's sounding like you've got one-itis. This is something that has to go, pronto. If you get hung up over this one girl, you're not gonna get her. A DJ doesn't get hung up on one girl anyway. Considering the fact that you're new, you should probably read the Don Juan Bible. After that, you should check out the stickied threads in this particular forum, and then look through some of the better journals (I personally love NorweigianDJ's journal). But this idea of have a girl you really like should go out the window. I know it's hard, I've been there quite recently, but most of the time if you do this, it won't work out.

I am mixed up here:

I have ADD and when I take my meds I am calmer than the sea, and really nice. She hates it when I'm nice so she tells me to stop taking my meds(haha). When I'm off my meds I'm sort of an a$$hole(so she says) but she likes that. The other day she told me I need to be in the middle, I have to be the a$$hole she likes, but also be nice.

Screw her. You're a MAN, you do what YOU want to do. If you need your meds, take your meds. That what medicine is for - to help you. And being a jerk or a nice guy isn't what you're looking for - you're looking for the middle, as she says. You're looking to be a Don Juan.

I know exactly what I want; I want to be more than friends.

Again, kill that one-itis. Metaphorically, of course!

The only problem is she likes someone else, and I'm not the most social person in the world. I'm not a fan of meeting new people, and I'm shy around new people. But I'm comfortable with people I've known for a while. I'm friends with her best friend but as some of you High schoolers know, within groups you have a social loop, I'm not in that social loop. I try texting her but she never texts back, and when I mention it she always says something along the lines of being to busy...

If you want to be a DJ, you have to be social. Don't worry though, a lot of this will come naturally as you learn to be a DJ. The only way you can fix being anti-social is by going out though! Someone else on the forum said that they're not strangers - they're just people you haven't met yet!

Most of the time, I would think what matters is just you and the chick. But social circles in high school are hard. Talk to people you don't know. Not as strangers, but as friends - I've discovered so many cool people that I would've never expected to like this way!

Also, if she's consistently busy, that's a problem. Who starts the conversations more, you or her?

Any advice is welcomed. I just fear she may date someone and it'll be to late.

Oh, one last thing. I'm not in the 'Friend Zone', I'm just a friend of hers.

Again, you've gotta kill that one-itis. And from the looks of it, you probably are in the friend zone. They're not gonna just spell it out for you. You might still have a chance, but you're better of learning to be a DJ, trust me.

So to make a long story short, ignore your one-itis and learn to be a DJ. It'll work wonders for you in high school.

P.S. Pornography, fvck off. Seriously.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

seriously this thread sucks.

Lowlife rager is lowlife.

OP: You ARE in the friend-zone, no matter how many times you contradict yourself. That's the fact, there's a ton of other chicks; this one just caught your attention.

Focus on improving yourself, and not on chasing her.

 

[Theminatar]

Her best friend told me, cause while we were at the basketball game she kept looking at the guy she liked.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Just dont waste your time, eh?

 

[Theminatar]

Just dont waste your time, eh?

Eh.... Nah, there are certain things about her that tell me she's interested. I just need to seal the deal.

Also, the title makes me sound desperate, lol. I'm not desperate, I just really like her, =D.

But hey, maybe you could help me out with an issue other than this? Whenever I talk to a women, we carry on a short conversation, usually pertaining to school, but after a while I run out of things to talk about. I just stop talking and drop the conversation, I don't know how to carry on long conversations with women and keep them interesting. This is my biggest mistake because I'm not getting anywhere, sexually and friendship wise.

I've read some of your posts and you seem like someone who could help me.

 

[Theminatar]

Focus on improving yourself, and not on chasing her.

Sorry for double post, but I like that piece of advice, if I improve myself then she could come later. They go hand in hand, I'll definitely work on that.

Thanks

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I cant carry out long convos either, sorry to tell you
I'll answer when I can.

 

[Dom36]

For long Convos i would try to just get her talking about herself while still maintaining control of the conversation. Ask open ended questions and or relate to experiences you have had, ideally you want her to talk a lot but you still determine the direction of the conversation. This mainly seems to come with practice, and just starting up conversations with random people.

For your issue with the girl i would recommend not getting too hung up with her; you can still go after her, but have a backup or have other things going on at same time. It seems like part of what you were saying is also that you weren't in same "social loop" as her. I would recommend to just start going out of your comfort zone ( i know its much easier said then done), just start hanging out with more people becoming a leader socially through proposing ideas or plans. Personally i come from a small highschool so i don't know the extremeness of cliques in big schools, which your's might be, but just a simple "Hi", or "whats up?" can go along way, for example if you kinda know someone in from one of your classes just say "what's up?" in passing in the hallway or something. Often times it is little gestures that can get increase your social standing and circle without you having to immediately bond with someone else.

 

[P­ornography]

fu­ck this thred THEMINATAR you're a fu­cking pu­ssy

 

[ArcBound]

Eh.... Nah, there are certain things about her that tell me she's interested. I just need to seal the deal.

Also, the title makes me sound desperate, lol. I'm not desperate, I just really like her, =D.

But hey, maybe you could help me out with an issue other than this? Whenever I talk to a women, we carry on a short conversation, usually pertaining to school, but after a while I run out of things to talk about. I just stop talking and drop the conversation, I don't know how to carry on long conversations with women and keep them interesting. This is my biggest mistake because I'm not getting anywhere, sexually and friendship wise.

I've read some of your posts and you seem like someone who could help me.

Theminator you need to learn the art of talking bullsh!t. Or rather the art of being able to talk about anything in an interesting manner. It doesn't matter at all what you talk about as long as you get a two sided conversation going with a little emotion.

Think back to a person in your life who tells GREAT stories. It's not really his content that's interesting, its his pacing, the way he says certain things, emotion in his voice that's what you have to practice. I think that's why a lot of women claim to love guys with humor: because guys with humor can pick up on this since it is everything in humor.

Also, don't pressure yourself into long conversations sometimes you just don't feel like it.

 

[Amo]

I like that piece of advice, if I improve myself then she could come later.

While this is true, don't think like that bro. Improvement for a girl is wasted. Improvement for yourself is greater.

 

[Theminatar]

Theminator you need to learn the art of talking bullsh!t. Or rather the art of being able to talk about anything in an interesting manner. It doesn't matter at all what you talk about as long as you get a two sided conversation going with a little emotion.

Think back to a person in your life who tells GREAT stories. It's not really his content that's interesting, its his pacing, the way he says certain things, emotion in his voice that's what you have to practice. I think that's why a lot of women claim to love guys with humor: because guys with humor can pick up on this since it is everything in humor.

Also, don't pressure yourself into long conversations sometimes you just don't feel like it.

Lol, sounds lie my older bro in college. He can talk to anyone and get anyone/anything he wants. He can convince people the color blue is actually red, the best bullsh!ter I know.

I'll try improving that.

@amoshield:

All right, I'll focus on improving me for me.

Thanks for all the great advice.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Thanks for all the great advice.

That's what we do.

 

[Theminatar]

I have her in my palms, I can seal the deal whenever I want to. I'm just having 2nd thoughts.

But it's now or never right?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Ive lost too many chicks by doing nothing.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

She hates it when I'm nice so she tells me to stop taking my meds(haha). When I'm off my meds I'm sort of an a$$hole(so she says) but she likes that. The other day she told me I need to be in the middle, I have to be the a$$hole she likes, but also be nice.

Stop taking her bullshvt. Don't EVER let a woman boss you around like that. She's telling you what she wants you to be. Who the fvck is she to tell you what kind of a person YOU should be?

I need to interject something that I learned from Igetit. You've known this girl how long? SIX years? Man, look at it this way - you've been in the friend zone for so long that there is almost no chance in hell that you will have sex with her. You say you "have her in your palms", but it's really her friendship that you have in your palms. Don't mistake friendship for intimacy.

The only thing you can really do now is make your move. But whether you lose her or not doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because you have gained experience which will help you with girls in the future. You have also gained access to a forum that will help you grow as a person if you learn how to use it right.

Welcome to Sosuave! :woo:

 

[Theminatar]

Stop taking her bullshvt. Don't EVER let a woman boss you around like that. She's telling you what she wants you to be. Who the fvck is she to tell you what kind of a person YOU should be?

I need to interject something that I learned from Igetit. You've known this girl how long? SIX years? Man, look at it this way - you've been in the friend zone for so long that there is almost no chance in hell that you will have sex with her. You say you "have her in your palms", but it's really her friendship that you have in your palms. Don't mistake friendship for intimacy.

The only thing you can really do now is make your move. But whether you lose her or not doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because you have gained experience which will help you with girls in the future. You have also gained access to a forum that will help you grow as a person if you learn how to use it right.

Welcome to Sosuave! :woo:

Haha thank you, yes, I've known her for six years, but we haven't actually talked or did anything until this year. But I also keep getting IOI's, a bunch of them. And she responds well to Kino, but I'll keep you guys updated.