Please help an AFC

Bm7b5

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Hey, new here, and my situation is driving me absolutely insane, so if you're up for some reading, please give me some advice. I'll try to be completely unbiased and include everything.

Rewind to January, start of the semester. I end up sitting next to a good looking girl in one of my classes. Later on, we find out that we share a free period in the same time of the day, so we arrange to meet and work on assignments, etc. From here on, I develope a strong attraction to her, and start to think that she is feeling similar emotions. We started off doing assignments and the occasional studying, but end up meeting eachother everyday, sometimes working on stuff, sometimes just talking. Things are looking good; good eye contact, some kino, etc.

Then, of course, I find out that she is in a relationship. She didn't tell me this directly, but someone else asked her in front of me. I could tell that she was somewhat uncomfortable talking about her boyfriend around me. At this point, I basically abandoned ship, but continued on talking to her anyway.

Some time passes, and while talking to her, a third party comes in, and asks how her relationship is going. She says that they're basically on the last leg, and that "it's sort of stupid". The relationship thing never came up again.

I am frustrated because I have no idea what to do. I am getting completely mixed signals from her.

On one hand, she still goes out of her way to talk to me. Conversations for the most part go well and there is strong eye contact. We catch eachother looking at eachother occasionally, when we are at a distance.

On the other hand, she might be completely leading me on. At times, she is extremely quiet. Sometimes, she doesn't even bother responding to my questions; all I get are nods, shakes, and pointing sometimes. I've noticed this about her ever since I've first met her, and the reason why this drives me nuts is because she doesn't seem to have this problem when talking to anyone else. When talking to anyone else other than me, she's leading the conversation, and is energetic. When talking to me, I only get warm, positive responses when I do the talking, and the conversation sort of dies down if I stop.

Another thing: if she was interested in me, why bother keeping the boyfriend? It's not like I'm keeping tabs on what she does, but I'm pretty sure that she's still in touch with him.

So, what do you guys think? I need some different perspective here. Sorry about the long post, I guess once I got going, I went too much into detail.
 

Jerky Boi

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Maybe her relationship's going bad and she's planning on dumping him and picking you up :D


Situation number 1..haha this is what you want it to be. Here's another possibility:

She's completely leading you on and loves the attention and is currently treating 4 other guys the exact same as you.


Best advice I can give you is to not get your hopes up. Maintain what you have with the girl and see if it goes anywhere. On the other hand, if you just happen to mess up her relationship with her boyfriend, she might not like you too much. I do find it kind of odd how she said it was kind of going downhill with him, so maybe you have a chance. Maybe someday casually bring it up in a convo.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a boyfriend. Geez, I never would have guessed." And see how she responds. If it's nothing but positive responses and excitement, then more than likely, she's happy with him. But, if not, maybe she's looking for something in you. You have to be the judge of that. Talk to her and see.
 

Bm7b5

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Originally posted by Jerky Boi
Maybe her relationship's going bad and she's planning on dumping him and picking you up :D


Situation number 1..haha this is what you want it to be. Here's another possibility:

She's completely leading you on and loves the attention and is currently treating 4 other guys the exact same as you.
I was fearing that she's just using me as a study-slave while receiving a lot of attention at the same time.


Best advice I can give you is to not get your hopes up. Maintain what you have with the girl and see if it goes anywhere. On the other hand, if you just happen to mess up her relationship with her boyfriend, she might not like you too much. I do find it kind of odd how she said it was kind of going downhill with him, so maybe you have a chance. Maybe someday casually bring it up in a convo.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a boyfriend. Geez, I never would have guessed." And see how she responds. If it's nothing but positive responses and excitement, then more than likely, she's happy with him. But, if not, maybe she's looking for something in you. You have to be the judge of that. Talk to her and see.
Yeah, I was thinking along the same lines as you there. Plus, it seems very petty to try and ruin a relationship just so you have a chance. My plan was to ignore the whole thing completely, and only talk about it if she brings it up
 

Maeisgood

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Here's how to overcome being an AFC forever!

1) Get drunk. You will feel brave, strong, and manly. This is what you are supposed to be like all of the time. But don't get too crazy.

2) Remember what it was like to be drunk when you're sober. This will help.
 

Pure Drive +

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Originally posted by Maeisgood
Here's how to overcome being an AFC forever!

1) Get drunk. You will feel brave, strong, and manly. This is what you are supposed to be like all of the time. But don't get too crazy.

2) Remember what it was like to be drunk when you're sober. This will help.
:down:

Don't get your hopes up. Don't fall into the friend zone either though. Where you are at is good since she talks to you instead of just using you as a "study slave."

Don't ever bring up her boyfriend. Don't ask her to pour out her feeling for or against him to you. Just keep doing what you're doing, but once there is an opening (break-up), give her like a few days to get over it and move in. Heavier kino...heavier flirting, and you're in my man.
 

Michael Chief

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Originally posted by Bm7b5
...On the other hand, she might be completely leading me on. At times, she is extremely quiet. Sometimes, she doesn't even bother responding to my questions; all I get are nods, shakes, and pointing sometimes. I've noticed this about her ever since I've first met her, and the reason why this drives me nuts is because she doesn't seem to have this problem when talking to anyone else. When talking to anyone else other than me, she's leading the conversation, and is energetic. When talking to me, I only get warm, positive responses when I do the talking, and the conversation sort of dies down if I stop....
She is attracted to you.
She has you lead the conversation because of this. Males are the dominant LEADERS in a relationship and the attracted female FOLLOWS. She WANTS you to lead because she is into you.
Another thing: if she was interested in me, why bother keeping the boyfriend? It's not like I'm keeping tabs on what she does, but I'm pretty sure that she's still in touch with him.
She's grabbing on to the next vine before she lets go of the previous one. Don't you know this monkey analogy? It's all a matter of her insecurities as a female.
 

Cloud-uk

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Originally posted by Maeisgood
Here's how to overcome being an AFC forever!

1) Get drunk. You will feel brave, strong, and manly. This is what you are supposed to be like all of the time. But don't get too crazy.

2) Remember what it was like to be drunk when you're sober. This will help.
:down:

WTF?
 

Microphone Fiend

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Aite here's how I see it
1) you havent made a move, you havent even asked her about her situation. Friends have asked her if she has a bf, and how their relationship is

2)She acts differently around you. This means she probably A) Likes everyone except you or B) Likes you more than everyone else. What do you think???

Just keep up the eye contact, up the kino and make a move one day (with your actions, not by telling her you like her) and you will do fine
 

JSH

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Go for it, you cant lose anything
 

Maybnoob

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Ill tell you this your almost completely screwed. You did not approach her in a romantic way from the beginning which has led to into the black hoe that is friend zone where only skilled dj can escape. You need to be a man and tell her what she really wants from you. Dont just suddenly ask her out or somting, more than likely she will reject you. You need to spend less time with her, and when you do start becoming touchy feely, start acting in a way to make her attracted to you but i repeat do not ask her out. When you have done kino etc and made an image of a attractive guy so that your not completly seen as a unsexual friend. Then make your move. Remember make her atracted to you, dont just jump in and ask her out you will fail
 
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