Please gimmie a help here

[J.A.M]

Hey I've never really posted with questions here before but ive never needed a new perspective as much.

Me and my GF of a year and a half have split up. It hasn't been too stable for a bit with her being abroad for a few months. She says she wants to be alone right now so she can decide what she wants and admits that she isn't sure if she is still in love with me. I reacted badly in the begining and told her I never wanted to see her again, to which she started crying begging me not to do that etc

Now this would be simple but for the fact that we are also best friends, we were before we went out and sorta went against the usual ljbf thing.

I know she isn't going with anyone else and she says that shes not interested in seeing anyone else and i really do believe her.
She came home for a visit before and ended the relationship but I just kept things flirty, kissing her and it got things back on track.
Part of me thinks that if I leave things and just see her when she gets back in a few months we'll end up back together again but I'm not sure.

I love this girl she's funny honest and sweet. But she has issues with her lack of control in life, when she says she needs to get her head sorted I do believe her but that said im worried her interest level has dropped too low for us to get back together.
Any advice or comments?

 

[kk2004]

hmm

well im new but after reading the bibble I can say that the answer is pretty simple you answered it yourself. BUT first i want you to think for a second what does your GUT tell you. My gut tells me that you should DUMP her dude. I know that its scarey but u cant have a girl being so Flaky. And you know whats funny is that if u act the MAN and walk away, BUT MAKE SURE UR NOT ANGRY OR YELL, be calm and cool and relaxed and walk away she might even come back.

 

[note.the.smoke]

no matter what she wants, you've got a good few months to decide what YOU want.

Get out a play the feild, find some new ***** and generally have fun and enjoy urself.

If, when she comes back things work out then count that as a bonus, if not then surely by this time you'll have other things going for you.

good luck dewd

 

[tmpgstx]

She broke it off because she has met someone else ... the place where she is going to be staying for a few months, and just got back from?? If this isn't obvious, what really is. Read the ******** Dictionary thread by Pook!

 

[DJDamage]

She says she wants to be alone right now so she can decide what she wants and admits that she isn't sure if she is still in love with me.

She is either fvcking another guy or is trying to drop you in order to persue another guy. I call Bullsh1t on the " She wants to be alone right now". Basically she is telling you that you are good but she wants to replace you.

I reacted badly in the begining and told her I never wanted to see her again, to which she started crying begging me not to do that etc

You actually reacted correctly. She wants you to accept being LJBF, which in a way its a step down from being a boyfriend, a position you still like to have. If you were a manager of a company and someone wanted to demote you, you wouldn't stick in that job either. You will quit and find something better.

She started crying because she wanted to end things on her terms.

Part of me thinks that if I leave things and just see her when she gets back in a few months we'll end up back together again but I'm not sure. .

Now this is clearly weak part. You are letting her dictate of when and how and if she will get back with you. You are a sitting duck without a say.

I love this girl she's funny honest and sweet. But she has issues with her lack of control in life, when she says she needs to get her head sorted I do believe her but that said im worried her interest level has dropped too low for us to get back together.

Remember the lack of self control is HER PROBLEM not yours. I learned the hard way never ever to let a person treat you badly just because they have issues. Its not an excuse.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Let me be harsh - get your head out of your @ss - she is sexing other dudes!! Don't argue with me - this is it - she is keeping you around as a security blanket in case it doesn't work out with these other dudes!!!

Is she in her mid to upper twenties or talks of marriage??

Every time she leaves she falls out of love with you - what does this tell you kid???

Someone else is occupying her time!!!!

She doesn't love you - sorry kid it's over, kaput, finish, outta here, el fin!!!!

Don't be a chump and be like Neo in The Matrix and doubt me - "I can't believe it, I can't believe it" and start vomiting!!!

 

[Rockadeimis]

Read what DJDamage posted above...then read what PuertoRican_Lover posted above....

Print it out and tape it to your forehead. This same shlt happened to me. Seriously...you would be wise to heed the advice.

 

[Frank Zappa]

Originally posted by Rockadeimis
Read what DJDamage posted above...then read what PuertoRican_Lover posted above....

Print it out and tape it to your forehead. This same shlt happened to me. Seriously...you would be wise to heed the advice.

I figure enough voices on the matter shall straighten you out. If it helps any, same thing has happened to me before. Being in denial is a waste of time I wish I had never gone down.

What she is doing is classic woman behavior. She isn't intentionally manipulative but she knows no other way. Think of it as the monkey analogy, she needs to keep a hold onto your branch until she securely has a grip on some other guy's branch; then she'll let go. She cried when you told her you never wanted to see her again because you were taking away her security... as in, she may end up with nothing. She needs you around just long enough to make sure things are secure enough to where she doesn't need you anymore. Now you know the outcome, give the old lady the boot first.

I know she isn't going with anyone else and she says that shes not interested in seeing anyone else and i really do believe her...

I love this girl she's funny honest and sweet. But she has issues with her lack of control in life, when she says she needs to get her head sorted I do believe her

I'm vomiting already... This is the same **** i'm sure I and thousands of other guys have heard and felt. I won't blame you if you don't listen to us... it usually takes a good burn for someone to be on board... Good luck with your decision... I seriously hope you cut this broad out of your life and don't look back. DO NOT LET HER TRAMPLE ON YOUR PRIDE.

 

[J.A.M]

I appreciate everyone's comments I really do.

Its wierd if i was giving anyone else advice id say the same but in this case I've known this girl for years, shes got real issues with cheats and shes one of the most moral people I know. I know that she would tell me if she had feelings for someone else.

I agree I should prob take some time out for myself too, im going to date and try to keep things cool.

She is really my best friend too and thats whats making this so hard, I said to her before that theres no way im going to be some sad sum***** hanging round her hoping something will happen.

 

[Desdinova]

She says she wants to be alone right now so she can decide what she wants and admits that she isn't sure if she is still in love with me. I reacted badly in the begining and told her I never wanted to see her again, to which she started crying begging me not to do that etc

Good for you! Why keep a chick in your life if she doesn't have feelings for you?

I know she isn't going with anyone else and she says that shes not interested in seeing anyone else and i really do believe her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You actually believe that pile of 5hit? I've heard this before, and trust me, it won't be long until she starts seeing someone else. It's bull5hit. Women can't control who they're attracted to. Once she becomes attracted to someone (if she isn't already), she'll be dating someone ASAP.

I love this girl she's funny honest and sweet. But she has issues with her lack of control in life, when she says she needs to get her head sorted I do believe her

Man, it's bull5hit. She's trying to let you down easy, and by LJBFing you she's trying to keep her feelings from going haywire. Read my "Goodbye" post:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=63522

 

[Skullcrusher]

BACK OFF Jam, that's all you can do.

1. She has her own life.
2. You have your own life.

If she wants you, she'll let you know. If you find someone else, fine. Go do that.

 

[J.A.M]

Yeah I know I just don't know whether to continue the friendship or not. It would be really akward cutting off all interaction as we share all our friendship group.

Im going to use the time to work on me, getting my game back and if something happens with her then cool if not well ill be in a better position to move on. Thanks to everyone again.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by J.A.M
.. she wants to be alone right now so she can decide what she wants and admits that she isn't sure if she is still in love with me.

Yeah, I think my girl used the same exact words (I think there is a book put there for women that they all use and are not telling us men about).

My girl stated "I love you but I'm not "in" love with you". I started crying like a baby, while she consoled my heartfelt pain and then she said, "I didn't think you were going to take it this hard".

I told her, "I don't mind YOU leaving but please baby please baby please - LEAVE THE PVSSY WITH ME!!!!!!"