Please critique text...where did I go wrong?

[yuppaz]

Made out with this beautiful half black half white girl Friday night. Got her number and left VM on Sun. Then text her today. Think I blew the interaction, can you please tell me where? Normally I wouldn't care, but think I do this a lot.

Me: So what does (girl) like 2 do for fun besides bite (&kiss) perfect strangers on the side of the road?
Her:haha oh my god! I couldn't figure out who u were from the voicemail....im hoping u will excuse my behviour... I got into a lot of trouble for that....i didn't mean to turn u on! haha
Me: Trouble? Why...??? Excuse it...would rather encourage it...lol How did your night turn out?
Her: I was with someone of interest although it casual he was a bit offended....my night ended early i had a bit too much to drink which accounts for the biting!
Me: hahaha thought that was just your way of saying hi...like u did that all the time ;-) for me I usually greet people by making out with them. Different strokes
Her: hahaha touche! It happens..... )
Me: I'm def not someone to bring home to your family...lol hey can u tlk on the phone l8r...like 2nite?
Herrob not a good idea i'm still trying to redeem myself with my guy friend...but im sure i'll see u around thanks for being a good sport!
Her: Although I have to admit that i have no idea what u look like! Damn the alcohol!
Me: There was def. chemistry that night... 4 both of us ;-) I doubt u would be dissapointed
Her: Oh my! In all fairness its all a blur which says I don't normally do that sort of thing plus im seeing someone but i do appreciate your candor
Her: Let's just leave it at that
Me:No worries - didn't assume that u did, neither do I for that matter.. Just that there was something that I found very interesting about you. But I understand sit.
Her: Thanks )
Me:Take it easy buddhist biter girl ;-)
Her: haha you too!
me: lol..ok..btw if things don't work out between you and Mr. Jealous, get a hold of me and we'll get a drink or something
Her: Word!


So in the convo she goes from turn me on, and casual guy to trying to make it up to the guy I'm seeing.... thoughts on where & how I may have blown it?

 

[jophil28]

Drunk chick loses control and bites stranger.
Wakes up with massive hangover plus guilt because she cheated on her "friend " (read boyfriend).
Add a huge amount of "buyers' remorse", and you have one sober chick who will regard you as a stalker if you call her again.

 

[squirrels]

You had this whole conversation via text message? Lame.

She's a waste of time. Kudos on getting the number, but she's obviously too tightly wound when she's sober for you to get what you want. If you see her out again, re-game her. Otherwise, balls to her.

 

[The Message Boy]

Think I blew the interaction, can you please tell me where?

Have more confidence in yourself man, you did fine.

So in the convo she goes from turn me on, and casual guy to trying to make it up to the guy I'm seeing.... thoughts on where & how I may have blown it?

You didn't blow it. The girl seems to be more of a party girl if you ask me, I think you should have played it cool as IF she didn't even SAY she had a guy, basically blowing that part off.

What I would do is keep ****ing with her, keep talking to her AS IF she didn't tell you she had a guy and keep pursuin her trying to get her to chill with you, etc.

I always tell myself that if a chick hasn't said, EWWWW Message Boy get the **** away from me, then she's INTERESTED. I dont look for the bull**** "external signs" or anything like that. Most girls are ****ign SHY around guys they like and it might seem a little akward at first, but once you get used to it, you will just continue and blow right through that ****.

I would text her back and keep talkin/pursuin her as if she didn't say ANYTHING about a guy.

 

[seth03]

way too nice and too much bull****ting around...too much talking. i wouldnt have asked if i could call her. i wouldve just done it. gotta get straight to the point.

 

[game.r]

Made out with this beautiful half black half white girl Friday night. Got her number and left VM on Sun. Then text her today. Think I blew the interaction, can you please tell me where? Normally I wouldn't care, but think I do this a lot.

Me: So what does (girl) like 2 do for fun besides bite (&kiss) perfect strangers on the side of the road?
Her:haha oh my god! I couldn't figure out who u were from the voicemail....im hoping u will excuse my behviour... I got into a lot of trouble for that....i didn't mean to turn u on! haha
Me: Trouble? Why...??? Excuse it...would rather encourage it...lol How did your night turn out?
Her: I was with someone of interest although it casual he was a bit offended....my night ended early i had a bit too much to drink which accounts for the biting!
Me: hahaha thought that was just your way of saying hi...like u did that all the time ;-) for me I usually greet people by making out with them. Different strokes
Her: hahaha touche! It happens..... )
Me: I'm def not someone to bring home to your family...lol hey can u tlk on the phone l8r...like 2nite?
Herrob not a good idea i'm still trying to redeem myself with my guy friend...but im sure i'll see u around thanks for being a good sport!
Her: Although I have to admit that i have no idea what u look like! Damn the alcohol!
Me: There was def. chemistry that night... 4 both of us ;-) I doubt u would be dissapointed
Her: Oh my! In all fairness its all a blur which says I don't normally do that sort of thing plus im seeing someone but i do appreciate your candor
Her: Let's just leave it at that
Me:No worries - didn't assume that u did, neither do I for that matter.. Just that there was something that I found very interesting about you. But I understand sit.
Her: Thanks )
Me:Take it easy buddhist biter girl ;-)
Her: haha you too!
me: lol..ok..btw if things don't work out between you and Mr. Jealous, get a hold of me and we'll get a drink or something
Her: Word!


So in the convo she goes from turn me on, and casual guy to trying to make it up to the guy I'm seeing.... thoughts on where & how I may have blown it?

I think you blew it with your first line. I mean what was the point of that? I can see you're trying to be funny... but its like you set out to make her feel like she was a slut for making out with some random stranger.

Have you heard of the anti-slut defense? Its when a girl feels the need to qualify herself as a good girl before/after doing something really slutty. I highlighted some of the classic anti-slut lines for u.

This whole conversation was shat from the start and only got worse as it continued. You actually qualified yourself to her. then ended it with the afc pledge to be available whenever she was ready.

 

[Jitterbug]

Even before I read your actual words, I could tell that you're way more invested in this than she is: your TXT word count is obviously significantly higher than hers.

I'm not against using TXT or IM to interact with girls - they have their use - but I have a personal rule: I must always use fewer words than they do, e.g roughly 2/3 of their word count. If I'm yapping too much on TXT or IM, it's time for a phone call, or better, to meet in person.

Girls always overanalyze things, and they're at their worst when it comes to TXT & IM, as there are only words & no non-verbal cues. You must see for yourself when a group of girls gather around one who's receiving TXTs from a guy. Once you've witnessed that crazy estrogen-fueled gathering, you'll never yap too much on TXT ever again!

 

[mikeraw]

She was trying to end the texting conversation at several points and you kept trying to continue it.

She tried ending it when:

Herrob not a good idea i'm still trying to redeem myself with my guy friend...but im sure i'll see u around thanks for being a good sport!


Her: Let's just leave it at that


Her: Thanks )


I personally think you killed it when you ASKED if you could call her:

Me: I'm def not someone to bring home to your family...lol hey can u tlk on the phone l8r...like 2nite?
Herrob not a good idea i'm still trying to redeem myself with my guy friend...but im sure i'll see u around thanks for being a good sport!


You never represented a challenge to her. Should've negged her a little stronger and or gone silent after she called you a good sport. Trust me, she would have been curious and she would've asked you if you were mad or something, at which point you could've replied in one of many ways:

"who is this?"

"oh, it was nice meeting you, BTW... I'm getting ready for tonight"


Anything... but still, what you did was worth a try, if only to learn from it. I personally hate text game, I tend to convey a lot more through tone inflections and body language...


We should have more of these types of posts...

 

[yuppaz]

Thanks guys,

wow - my lack of confidence lately is glaringly obvious when I get these mirrors thrown up in front of me.
So it looks like I:
Was rapport seeking
RAISED her ASD
too wordy = too needy (I actually knew I've been doing that but still fell into the trap again)
Too nice, easy going
Qualifying to her instead of the other way around
Non Alpha - asking her if she could talk vs. just calling her later

 

[Zunder]

I've recently learnt a harsh lesson.
Less is best when interacting with a new woman.
The more you say, the more likely you will stuff it up, and if you then try to "rectify" it, as someone has mentioned....she will consider you a stalker.

Texting / Email has uses, but its too easy to hit "send" and stuff it up.

As for this bird - would you want a drunk tart that makes out with strangers when she is out with another guy anyway.
I have tried chasing birds like this and it is a waste of time.

 

[yuppaz]

Thanks Zunder....good advice man. Honestly I could care less about the girl...just wanted to see if I could dip my wick with this hot little trick....not get married or anything. Was more concerned with what my problem has been lately....what I've been off on. May just need to finally take the plunge and start going bat**** at bars to get over this issue I've been having where I keep thinking these girls are somehow above me and that I have to be nice. That has f*cked me over big time with cute girls in the past. Ugo's like it.....I don't want ugo's.

 

[Mr. Me]

>> Non Alpha - asking her if she could talk vs. just calling her later >>

Yep to all the points you've realized, and I'd add: too much, too soon, what with you've just met her Friday night, left VM Sunday, texted Monday and planned on calling her Monday night too. What's with the rush? Women feel the guy rushing and it's a turn off.

But she's telling you she doesn't remember you, that she has a man, that it's "probably not a good idea" for you to call again, yadda, yadda. She's dropping major hints of non-interest. Back when I was less perceptive, I'd continue on like you did despite the hints because I was naive. But I've learned it's futile and learned to listen better and take the cues otherwise it makes you come off like you don't have a clue, because, well, we didn't.

 

[yuppaz]

Thanks Mr. Me -
I kind of got the jist of it in the convo (Having less than spectacular success with women helps to recognize signs of disinterest) - so I was basically trying to turn out whatever I could. Knew there wasn't any chance of following up with this girl after she was mentioning someone else she was seeing and so much alcohol. As soon as she mentioned that she was soooo drunk I understood that it was an excuse to her behavior and a way to invalidate the possibility of getting together again, so I was kind of throwing whatever I could at the wall to see if it would stick. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell if I should be off the wall sexual or just play it cool, seems like some girls are into off the wall and some girls don't want that. Wonder what would have happened if I responded more sexually to her comment "Didn't mean to turn you on" instead of wussing it out and trying for rapport. I've got some serious nice guy itis I need to destroy.

 

[jophil28]

Your main mistake in your thinking was having an expectation that a drunken woman, who kissed and bit you while her male "friend" was orbiting in the shadows, would want to follow up with you after she sobered up.
ON that night ,you happened to briefly overrun the space which is normally occupied by her ASD,her self control, and her baitch shield.

BTW, her first text reply, in your exchange, was loaded with remorse, regret, guilt and a total lack of interest in seeing you again.
You may have thought that continuing to text back and forth may have succeeded in making something "stick to the wall" , but the reality was that there was no wall to stick to.

Live and learn.

 

[Mr. Me]

>> Knew there wasn't any chance... so I was kind of throwing whatever I could at the wall to see if it would stick. >>

Not a bad thing. Doing that you'll learn and finally prove to yourself that when you get the disinterest signals from them, that it truly means they're disinterested and you'll learn to cut your losses earlier on and save time and effort.

>> Sometimes it's hard for me to tell if I should be off the wall sexual or just play it cool, seems like some girls are into off the wall and some girls don't want that. Wonder what would have happened if I responded more sexually to her comment >>

My vote is to never speak sexually in the early stages of getting to know a chick. Lots of guys will say different, but I've done it both ways and what I see in results is that when you speak sexually, like most guys do, in her eyes you become just like all the other guys that want her and who she's rejected. No challenge. Plus, if she's not receptive to your signal, then you've just effectively killed it.

But when you show class and self-control by not initiating sexually charged speech, those qualities are attractive to women. Now, understand that I'm not saying not to be sexual, quite the contrary, you should ooze sexuality. But exuding sexuality and being crass or vulgar are two way different things. Being cool works just fine regardless of where the chick's at. If a woman wants you, she wants you, so why chance turning her off by acting otherwise, when acting otherwise isn't going to make her want you if she doesn't already or want you more. Make sense?

The response to a comment like "Didn't mean to turn you on", like most responses, isn't sexual but c@cky and funny: "Who said you did? Well, okay, I admit it. I felt a tingle in my toe" or something like that.

One more point no one else has mentioned: Don't have convos with new girls via text messaging. There are many ways they can sabotage you with that.