Please Advise

[HNSG78]

Hi fellows,

I find myself starting to fall in love with my fellow female colleague. We have been out together on a couple of dates already. However, she is currently attached. But recently, she is in a cold war situation with her boyfriend. Should I make my feelings known to her or should I wait for them to breakup? How do I know if she likes me also?

Please kindly advise me....

 

[Blaaaaat]

Hi, welcome to the board. Please read the bible. Then read it again. This will help you in your situation.

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

hmmmmm, complicated situation... Let's see... you ARE in the friends zone already seing that you guys are so friendly and she feels so comfortable telling you things arent going well with her b/f. If i was you, I'd agree with her and make her b/f look like an aszhole and make myself look good... another thing i suggest you should do is ask her out for dinner and tell her everything you feel... tell her you like her.. she'll respect it.. i mean.. u'll have to tell her eventually and now is the best time to tell her seeing that she's in a 'cold war' situation with her boyfriend.. there couldnt be a better time...
Take it easy bro,
IrReSiStIbLe.

 

[Blaaaaat]

IrReSiStIbLe is either being sarcastic or being an AFC. That means, don't listen to his advice.

 

[Jay_VCU]

If your dating, you might as well just go for a kiss. Actions speak louder than words. Girls will say lots of stuff. You gauge interest by their actions.

 

[HNSG78]

Probably, I shldnt be using the word "love"...it shld have been "like" instead. That couple of dates were kinda enjoyable. Basically, we went for dinner, movie, the usual kinda get-to-together stuff and SHOPPING which her boyfriend would usually frown on. After that, she told me that she really enjoyed herself and would like to go out again. But what I am afraid is that, will she think that I am trying to take advantage of her cold war situation which will almost certainly put me in a bad light in her mind.

What I would like is, to let my feelings known but we can still go out together minus the awkwardness if she rejects me?

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

Originally posted by Blaaaaat
IrReSiStIbLe is either being sarcastic or being an AFC. That means, don't listen to his advice.

I'd cork it up if i was u blaaat... ur obviously talking outa ur asz... once you'll reach my level of picking up, looks and success with women then u'll be allowed to criticize me... meanwhile... just... cork it up... if HNSG78 loves her, which is completely natural, he should not give up, he should find out wether she feels the same towards him as well.. if she doesnt, then fine, move on... otherwise you'll remain puzzled for a long time...

 

[Blaaaaat]

Originally posted by IrReSiStIbLe
I'd cork it up if i was u blaaat... ur obviously talking outa ur asz... once you'll reach my level of picking up, looks and success with women then u'll be allowed to criticize me... meanwhile... just... cork it up... if HNSG78 loves her, which is completely natural, he should not give up, he should find out wether she feels the same towards him as well.. if she doesnt, then fine, move on... otherwise you'll remain puzzled for a long time...

"you should do is ask her out for dinner and tell her everything you feel... tell her you like her.. she'll respect it.. i mean.. u'll have to tell her eventually and now is the best time to tell her seeing that she's in a 'cold war' situation with her boyfriend.. there couldnt be a better time..."

I rest my case....

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

right.......

 

[Blaaaaat]

Hmz, well dude, i'm not looking for a fight, not yet at least. But your advice seems to go against the DJ-philosophy. Maybe it does work for you, but it doesn't work for the majority of the people. This boards advice is based on empirical knowledge, so it' is field tested by some of the most experienced guys that post here, or have posted here.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't open up completely, its the worse thing you could do. Understand that you are her rebound and she will more than likely have baggage that you will have to contend with. Being the rebound opens you up to receive all of the general feelings she has about men in general that her ex has led her to believe.

In a nutshell, if you are really into her, be ready to feel the backlash of any issues she hasn't dealt with.

 

[NewMan]

i sounds like your in the friends zone - she's using you right now as support - going out with you, taking her mind off of her current situation - she talking to you.

I believe you don't have a chance with this chick (buy what I know and past experience).

If you do get involved, your probably only going to have some backlash from her previous relationship - and unless you only want to have fun and tap that A##, your best bet is to step back from her.

Plus, the longer you just stay in the firends zone - and be her AFC shoulder to cry on, the less of a chance you've got. You need to let her know (but not by telling her outright) by your ACTIONS that you want her - read the bible - start Kino - lots of touching, and don't be the nice guy.

 

[DJ_Dork]

keep your distance dude from your current position right now with her... just because her bf and her are cold towards each other doesn't mean it's over. So watch it.

 

[HNSG78]

Hmmm..Francisco, wat exactly do u mean by issues she hasnt dealt with?...do u mean that she is treating me as substitute while in cold war? Shld I continue to wait for more tell-tale signs from her? I have a burning question to ask her : WHY DONT U BREAK UP WITH UR BF?? Coz it seems that such cold war situations are kinda common btw them....Should I pose this question to her then?
Hey Fellows...Am I acting like a loser who seems to be scared of everything?

 

[NewMan]

WHY DONT U BREAK UP WITH UR BF?? Coz it seems that such cold war situations are kinda common btw them....Should I pose this question to her then?

NO - NEVER.

Are you her girlfriend? Your acting like an AFC - a nice guy.

Be confident, be a MAN - be a DJ.

Look, be yourself - DJ her, and she will WANT to break up with her BF, because she will see you as the MAN.

Don't ask her in a whimpy, p#ssy voice:

"Why don't you break up with your BF?"

F that.

You be cool, if your going out with her, be ****y and confident. Be fun. Do fun things (such as playing pool where you can intiate a lot of touching) - any thing that requires action is good.

But you MUST ger out of the fact that you sound like your a shoulder to cry on. You don't want to be that - you know why? because if she does break up with him, she'll probably be Fvcking some other Bad boy or A##hole and telling you about it, because your her nice guy friend. Then when the other guy fvcks her over, she'll cry, come running to you and say:

"I wish I could find someone like you"

Buy that time, it to late - you've just been "Let;s just be friends"


Get your balls back bud.

Read the bible.

 

[intel200]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dont tell her you love her. Do NOT do it. Trust me! She has a man, and you will be coming WAY too strong. If I have learned anything on this site, its that you wanna keep some mystery, hold something back. Flirt like crazy. Use kino. But dont make the mistake of writing your intentions in stone. This will be death. It killed me once, and it will kill you too....

 

[dionysius_d]

Don't give her any advice.. if she's with a lamer, so what.

Don't share your inner state. If you blurt out your insides, she will run for the hills, or else feel superior.

Offer her what she's not getting elsewhere.. ie. some fun.

 

[DankNuggs]

Listen to the advice of your 7th grade english teacher "show, don't tell" you want to show her that your a fantastic guy worth getting to know better, the type of guy she can connect to...yet your not going to wait forever, this is HER chance, and she'd be stupid not to take the risk...If you show your poker hand, you never win the pot

 

[tomyv]

take it

Take the advice! Also, what do you mean by "i've been on a few dates with her"? Are these Dates? Or are you in the "friend zone?" Sounds to me like you are in the friends zone and are ready to crash and burn.

Play it cool!

Read the Bible!

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

Originally posted by Blaaaaat
Hmz, well dude, i'm not looking for a fight, not yet at least. But your advice seems to go against the DJ-philosophy. Maybe it does work for you, but it doesn't work for the majority of the people. This boards advice is based on empirical knowledge, so it' is field tested by some of the most experienced guys that post here, or have posted here.

Yeh man, ****it, i didnt mean what i said, just got a bit heated coz u called me an afc.. dw bout it.. no dramas u may be right.. i dunno, im not that good with such scenarios... just thought it would somewhat make sense... oh well...

Any way, later bro

IrReSiStIbLe .