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Please advise! Mixed signals

styleman

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Ok well obv a long story so have to cut it short.
Quick intro,

- Got talking to this girl in my home city - London through mutual friends.
- She was finishing off studying in London, but from overseas.
- Got her number, got to talking when she went home hit it off well.
- She had plans to go on holiday, and I was free so I joined.
- All went well, three crazy good days clubbing all night spent most of the time with her, escalated, heavy (erotic) touching etc.
- Didn't sleep with her, but I don't see that as a problem, because as it stands we've only seen each other once in London and then three days today, and considering where she's originally from its not a done thing in that culture until marriage (My parents are also from there).

As you can imagine a lot of mixed feelings here, because although she does say she will come visit me in London, who knows if I'm actually going to see this girl anytime soon...

There were a few things that didn't go so well in the three days:

- Had a bracelet given by my ex, I foolishly told her my ex gave it to me, and she seemed genuinely pissed off that I wouldn't take it off. Although eventually she took it off using force and threw it out the car window. Still, she kept yelling 'I can't believe you're not over her'.
- I made the typical blunder of telling her that I like her, but this didn't seem to be a huge problem because she said the same back.
- She plays hard to get far to much, that is she is defiantly playing because she keeps coming running back. E.g. we're making out, and she says stop, so I walk away, but then she comes back over to me within seconds. But, fine once is okay, two or three times I can deal with, but this happened up to ten times, and frankly pisses me off. I tried to disarm this by telling her I won't waste my time if she's not interested, but this didn't seem to sink into her head.

So, am left feeling very confused,

- Where do I stand in terms of being with her? She admits that she wants to make something out of it, but she doesn't seem to put the effort in... E.g. She says she will come to London but won't give a date, I mean fine there may be a genuine reason for this, but too me this girl is a little too uncertain and not an action taker for my liking, then again most girls are like this, and those are traits of a man I'm lead to believe, but my ex was not like her, she just did things, you know 'only live once' attitude. It's probably prudent to say she's quite young though, and this may also be a reason.
- Any general tips on making long distance work very much appreciated...
 

styleman

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So now she's telling me she loves me, and getting pissed when I tell her I'm out with friends... no ideas guys?
 

DonJuan11

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styleman said:
- Had a bracelet given by my ex, I foolishly told her my ex gave it to me, and she seemed genuinely pissed off that I wouldn't take it off. Although eventually she took it off using force and threw it out the car window. Still, she kept yelling 'I can't believe you're not over her'.

She's 100% absolutely right. Why would you wear something from someone who told you to "go to hell"? It shouldn't be to feel better about yourself.

- I made the typical blunder of telling her that I like her, but this didn't seem to be a huge problem because she said the same back.

- She plays hard to get far to much, that is she is defiantly playing because she keeps coming running back. E.g. we're making out, and she says stop, so I walk away, but then she comes back over to me within seconds. But, fine once is okay, two or three times I can deal with, but this happened up to ten times, and frankly pisses me off. I tried to disarm this by telling her I won't waste my time if she's not interested, but this didn't seem to sink into her head.

1 - She's not playing hard to get, you just can't turn her on enough for her not to.

2 - How many times do you have to tell people not give ultimatiums to girls? "You have to tell me you are willing to sleep with me straight up, because I don't have enough game to know otherwise." Dude, if you are smooth, you want to sleep with her and she resists - she's not that into you. Why do you have to have her say it?


So, am left feeling very confused,

- Where do I stand in terms of being with her? She admits that she wants to make something out of it, but she doesn't seem to put the effort in... E.g. She says she will come to London but won't give a date, I mean fine there may be a genuine reason for this, but too me this girl is a little too uncertain and not an action taker for my liking, then again most girls are like this,

Most girls are like this when they dont' really want to give sex to the guy who wants sex from them. Think about it, if you didn't like a girl but just got some action from her, would you give a firm time, date, and plan of action? There is no way.

- Any general tips on making long distance work very much appreciated...
Glad you gave us the short version.

Your ex was not like her because she liked you, this girl doesn't seem to. Long distance doesn't work. If she comes to London, great. If not, move on and improve your life by exercising and learning another language.
 

styleman

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DonJuan11 said:
Glad you gave us the short version.

Your ex was not like her because she liked you, this girl doesn't seem to. Long distance doesn't work. If she comes to London, great. If not, move on and improve your life by exercising and learning another language.

Honestly, you just sound like a bitter looser, so thanks but no thanks to your advise because it makes no sense to me, and yes thank you I'm successful in every aspect of my life.

You sound like someone who just looks at other people's success and bites it to feel better about themselves.

There is no way a girl from this culture would sleep with a guy before marriage, so I'm not expecting it; have got plenty of ladies in London I can sleep with so that's far from the point.

I said I wouldn't waste time perusing her, totally unrelated to making out with her or sleeping with her. So I don't know where the fvck you're getting that I told her I want to sleep with her from.

By the way you know **** all about my ex, and she did not love me, or at the very least she didn't know what love means.
 

saber

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Dude she is into you but....

look at it realistically...you expect her to come visit you half way around the world

if she is as strict about sex as you say she is then i think you really haven't considered her point of view

she probably looks at you as a guy she had fun with and it maybe could have turned into something more...but she has a life to lead and isn't going to get hung up on someone she met just a few times..

i suggest you follow the same mindset
 

styleman

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saber said:
Dude she is into you but....

look at it realistically...you expect her to come visit you half way around the world

if she is as strict about sex as you say she is then i think you really haven't considered her point of view

she probably looks at you as a guy she had fun with and it maybe could have turned into something more...but she has a life to lead and isn't going to get hung up on someone she met just a few times..

i suggest you follow the same mindset
Thank you sir, yes I am following the same mindset (trying at least), and to me it is clear that she is into me.

Thing is I would like to make this work, against whatever stupid distance odds; I have the means to travel to her whenever I like, but clearly that's going to look desperate.
 
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