Please advise me, a boderline social inept

[95029OCT04]

I am a 19 year old student at a university. I spend my time studying, exercising, eating, wanking, and surfing the net. I have been here for 9 weeks.

I have made no male friends since arriving. I do not not enjoy socializing just to socialize (in highschool hanging out with my friends involved activities). The only activities I have witnessed here are beer drinking, beer drinking at parites, and socializing just to socialize. I do not drink or take risks. I went to a party and was clearly out of place. I did not drink, and I am not attracted to drunk ladies. I just stood around like a moron, and the other guys commented on my weirdness.

I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date. My social skill are declining, but my confidence is strangely increasing.

I am very intelligent.

I am taking a board game class in which we are taught how to play board games (chess, checkers, etc.) and then play touranaments. I am a very skilled at all of these games.

The class meets on tuesdays and wednesday. The first class was last tuesday. An attractive blond walked in, and for some reason I decided I would try my luck with her. I have not spoken to her yet.

My plan is to try to start a converstaion with her (my opening line will be: Hi. What is your name? My name is X. How do you like this class.) I then plan on asking her if she would like to play some checkers or chess with me. Something like, "hey, would you like to hang out on friday and I could give you a free checkcers lesson."

I suppose I am confortable with this because I could use the same aproach trying to make a male friend. Would she think I was only trying to befriend her?

Thinking about this, I remember a friend in highschool who would also ask girls if they wanted to study. This is basicly what I am doing, but games are closer to a normal social activity. My friend studied with all of the girls but he was never more than a friend with them.

Is my plan a suitable first try? How about my opening line?

Considering I am in the top of all of my classes, is the "would you like to study with me" approach a suitable plan for my other classes, or will it result only in friendship?

(I assume it does not matter, but I will add a personal description of myself. I am skinny and short, 5 foot 5 inches. I have an average face except a slightly asymmetrical nose. I usually have mild to moderate acne)

 

[Metaphysikal_Lover]

all I had to see was your choice in a screen name to see what your talking about and why your life is the way it is.

You need this site to help you touch basis with the rest of humanity!

 

[smoothiet]

sorry dude, but your idea of approaching the girl is very AFCish
if you want to improve your game then you have to be prepared to change how you think, if you dont want to do even do that, then stop reading this reply now and get out this forum!

1st. Read the DJ bible, embrace the ideas thats there and admit to yourself, you are travelling on the opposite direction where you want to go to and the only map to show you the right way is the bible and the various teachings of PUAs, admitting you are wrong and showing committment to change your ways is the first step

i remembered the time i started university i was just as shy as you are now.. but of course i toke it upon myself that theres got to be a better way than hoping somebody would approach me first, since you first years are all green to the scene and tend to be shy then there's not much luck of somebody approaching you. So the first thing i did was talk to the guy sitting next to me, say something like how boring the lecturer is or you dont get what he is talking about, he/she is bound to agree and warm up to you. (this is basic pyschology 1001) you can do this to the blonde chick.

i dont drink too but i dont limit myself from females that drink, a little intoxicated is fine as they are more relaxed and you are able to communicate to them more freely than before as their normal inhibitions have dropped

socialing is a form of networking, if you dont network you wont have friends and get to know more new people as you are stuck to your geeky friends

women love intelligence but not that much so that they want to study with you! unless they just want to use you do to homework for them, you are there to seduce the chick not to teach her Algebra

so go up to the girl, say hi, (dont say who you are or ask her name, because you have to think that she hasn't qualified herself to you yet, if she has a nice personality then maybe her name is worthwhile to know, otherwise why would you want to know some hoe's name anyway) then proceed with techniques taught by the bible...

good luck brother, there's going to be alot of rejections for you in the future but if you are willing to learn and improve yourself then you might get to be somewhere you never dreamed in your life that you could be in

 

[95029OCT04]

unless they just want to use you do to homework for them, you are there to seduce the chick not to teach her Algebra

This was what I feared and was the reason for posting here before trying it. I suppose the checkers lessons would not be much better. I was hoping the follow up of "study and then..." might overcome this obstacle

1st. Read the DJ bible, embrace the ideas thats there and admit to yourself

I did, but I do not think those are the type of relationships I am looking for. I have very traditional values, and I do not want to screw 30 women before I get marrired. I am also mostly attracted to women with traditional values.

sorry dude, but your idea of approaching the girl is very AFCish.

I will believe you all if you say my plan would fail, but the AFCs are doing a lot better than I. (I have never even been on a date) Since I have no social life to damage, I am willing to take your anonymous internet advice, even if it leads to failure or embarrassment. Large universities have a strange positve effect on confidence.

all I had to see was your choice in a screen name

If you are curious, when I registered it was 9:50 and the date was october 29, 2004.


What social activities are you guys doing other than drinking and partying? I have not done anything social since highschool where I hung with a group of guys (various activities such as pranks, x-box, and camping) I am not used to living in a city.

What activity shoud I suggest (Since board games are a bad idea) on my first attempt?

I do not completly understand the asking for numbers thing. Why is this preferable to planning the date in person on the spot? Is it always recommended to just get the number first and then aske her out on the phone?

 

[evolvingnerd]

dude
i'm in a similar boat to you
i do'nt want to seduce women and sleep with them - i'm saving it for marriage

however, i still embrace the PRINCIPLES of being a DJ, and by readin the bible and what others had to say, i've notice my confidence go waaay up

to date, i've never been on a date, nor even had a girl at my house. i've never been to a girl's house, except via family, and i've never been kissed

but within 2 months of reading this material, i've already landed myself several new female friends, something i've never had before, and i've got women kinoing me also a first for me

so don't give up, and do'n think this is a waste of time
embrace being a man and what not, try to become a little more arrogant and sure of yourself

best of luck to you

 

[Sart]

come on

How would you like it if I got a pack of actual men and we all burst in to your bible study group, fukced half your girlies and then asked advice on how to "part time" be a door knocker for the Church of "whatever" the hell your Church is.

If you are a virgin and intend being one until marriage, you probably want the same for this LTR you are just dying to carve out for yourself. TAKE IT ELSEWHERE PLEASE, it is offensive in a site called Don Juan.

 

[skinnydart]

TAKE IT ELSEWHERE PLEASE, it is offensive in a site called Don Juan.

A viewpoint differing from your own should not be offesive to you. If it does, it merely shows that you are insecure about the position you hold.

People should able to come here and get what they can out of this site, even if they do not agree with some of the most prevelant viewpoints on sex.

 

[Omid]

skinnydart's got a point, let people be. The DJ Forum is a great place for male solidarity in our collective effort to conquer the HBs. Therefore we should help and advise AFCs or upcoming PUAs, not stomp 'em down. Remember, we're in this game together.

As for evolvingnerd and 95029OCT04, I can only say:

Guys, read a real Bible that's gonna help you in life

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

 

[95029OCT04]

Re: come on

Originally posted by Sart
How would you like it if I got a pack of actual men and we all burst in to your bible study group, fukced half your girlies and then asked advice on how to "part time" be a door knocker for the Church of "whatever" the hell your Church is.

If you are a virgin and intend being one until marriage, you probably want the same for this LTR you are just dying to carve out for yourself. TAKE IT ELSEWHERE PLEASE, it is offensive in a site called Don Juan.

I do not necessarily plan on staying a virgin until marriage. I just do not want to have multiple sexual partners during a short time period. I said, "I do not want to screw 30 women before I get marrired." I never said several.

It probably sounds lame coming from a 19 year old, but to me marriage is the ultimate goal of dating. I do not want to get married yet, but it appears that dating is necessary practice so I will have the skills needed in the future.

The idea of real men and fake men is somewhat silly. I am a catholic, but those Mormon men are making more babies than all of us. Heck, some of them even seduce their teenage cousins and nieces.

I do not think that I am less manly than a DJ or a Mormon because I do not want to do what they do. I don’t want to have 10 children with my cousin. Similarly, my goal is not to have sex with the maximum number of women possible, and I would never engage in sexual interracial relationships.

 

[tristan22]

1. I respect you for your morale mentality, however if you're waiting for ms. perfect to fall from the heavens, you're going to be waiting a long time.

2. You are jumping a little bit ahead of yourself...make that light years ahead of yourself. You can't even approach a girl or get a date, so stop thinking about sex and basing everything on sex. When you start dating girls and keep them interested, this is when you can start thinking about sex.


3. Smart people do not have tell everyone just how intelligent they are; They Know they are intelligent! Maybe you're boring people by patronizing yourself?

4. College girls are all about having fun and being social. You're most likely to creep a girl out if you approach her with the "lets play checkers" line.

5. From experience, i have noticed that guys who search for the right girl use this as a crutch or excuse as to why they can't attract females.


READ THE BIBLE OR READ IT AGAIN THOROUGHLY!

 

[MetalFortress]

No matter what your goal, confidence will get you closer, while cowardliness will get you further. But no interracial relationships...?

 

[frivolousz21]

no interacial relationships..

the most fun ive ever had was dating a latino women.

HOLY **** she had some character.


by the way Im a short balding white male.

anyways another thing CONFIDENCE.

 

[justsomeguy1984]

please buddy, whatever you do, please don't use the "can I give you a free checkers lesson" line. that has got to be the lamest one I have ever heard!! come on man, if you're smart then you should be able to think of something better than that!! good luck!

 

[Serialized3]

Man, i dunno, I might use that line in a C+F routine sometime:

"Hey baby, wanna come over to my place on friday night for a free checkers lesson? Bring your checkerboard wax!"

Anyways,

You're attracted to women with traditional values? Maybe you should join one of your universities religious organizations. They're full of girls that dont put out (or put out a LOT, if it's those kind of catholic girls )

As far as socially, you should try to branch out a little bit. College is all about experiencing new things. You said you're not used to the city? Are you an outdoorsman? My college (University of Colorado at Boulder) is a very outdoorsy college, and there are HUNDREDS of hotties just waiting for some guy to go skiiing/backpacking/telemarking/bouldering with them. Plus, I've generally learned that outdoorsy girls are more laid back, and somewhat more honest with you than the typical prissy cosmopolitan girl who would whine her way through the woods.

What I suggest you do is get your ass out of your dorm room and get out there and find something to do with other people, not by yourself. Make some guy friends first, spot for other guys at the gym, or join the chess club at your university. After you start feeling more comfortable around people in general, then you can start working towards the ladies.