Playing games - do you always walk away?

[Tuppy]

A highly interested girl will make it clear and easy for you - I read this all the time on these forums.

A plate that I've been hooking up with at clubs, even bought me a drink etc wanted me to take her back to mine after night out, couldn't because something came up out of my control. She protested my decision to leave, I left anyway. Since then she has been playing games and playing hard to get.

I read Anti-Dump's machine and to quote him "If both male and female employ strategy (play hard to get etc, I'm assuming) its a stalemate and you both lose".

Texted her a while back, no response - I feel shes playing hard to get now. It doesn't really bother me that much that I lost her, that's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing this because this situation has created a burning question in my mind for future plates: If any games are played at all do you walk away or will you always have to play little games in the dating world due to peoples egos being protected/hurt? etc.

Does a true Don Juan walk away 100% of the time, even if there will always be a 'what if' in his mind?

 

[CrimsonPanther]

dunno mate, for me is pretty easy most of the times (everyone has AFC moments in life):

if i like a girl i kino, escalate, go for sex. if she is interested, even if she doesn't let me do her at the beginning, i will see if she wants me or not.

if not, but i see a chance to do her anyway, i will pursue, but never invest ANY emotions, or if she has some sexy friends, i will propose the LJBF to her.

if i see she has no interest, i walk away fast. NOT because of the game, but because life is too short to waste it on hopeless cases. if she is an attention ho, she will try to contact me again, but i usually ignore her, or play her to spread her legs anyway, depends on situation. but if she doesn't spread on her first AH try, there is no second chance, and i ignore them completely.

 

[Çharismo]

I can't speak for anyone else except myself but when I make a decision it's usually because of experience first-hand. If I decide to walk away from a female it's for my own betterment and it serves a purpose which is to punish for bad behavior and not practicing etiquette. Common-sensical thinking. You do something bad I take away my attention and give it to someone else for the time being unless you start to behave.

If this chick is playing hard to get you back off even more. So if she backs off you back off even more. Give her space to think. The less you care the easier it will be. Ignore her for a while and let her communicate with you. Women are natural at playing these types of games. She might also be trying to get you in a relationship hence her not being so receptive to your advances. Walking away also comes in handy for certain other real life situations as well. I've walked away from jobs where I was disrespected by employees and managers alike. So it all depends on the situation and context of it all. Read the Don Juan bible and grab you nuts!!:trouble:

 

[Zarky]

Don't know if "hard to get" girls are "interested" or not... all I can say is that I've never caught a girl I had to chase. Not in nearly 40 years.

A man's pursuit of a woman leads to marriage and often divorce.
A woman's pursuit of a man leads to easy sex.

Which do you want?

 

[nismo-4]

Don't know if "hard to get" girls are "interested" or not... all I can say is that I've never caught a girl I had to chase. Not in nearly 40 years.

A man's pursuit of a woman leads to marriage and often divorce.
A woman's pursuit of a man leads to easy sex.

Which do you want?

I'll take a woman's pursuit for $1000 Alex.

AFAIC a woman is either one of two things:

1. Interested
2. Uninterested

Don't waste your time chasing disinterest. A woman who wants to see you will find a way. Her actions will tell all.

Hard to get, to me means chasing an uninterested girl or being a beta orbiter. I just go ghost. And then one of two things will happen:

1. She straightens her ass out
2. (More commonly) she goes ghost because you won't be her next orbiter and feed her ego.

We all gotta play the game. Dating is a game.

Case closed.

 

[GS750]

Agreed. If she goes ghost because you refuse to be an orbiter, then all the better. She's got others.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Recently I've had a chick (by her own admission) being 'weird'.

She is busy, to all intents and purposes; studying all week and working weekends. She has been very, very flaky with me, offering to meet up, then cancelling or changing to half-assed plans. Last time she called up and said she 'hadn't decided' what she was doing.

This chick has betas crawling all over her, constantly. She's an actress. She's probably a 9 when made up. She loves the attention, Speigel know the story.

Well TMK doesn't accept such behaviours nowadays.

So I've gone NC for a couple of weeks and all of a sudden this chick has two weeks off and suggests we go away to the coast at the weekend. I did not reply. Last night, another email simply saying 'TMK?'. Again, no reply. I might respond later in the week with something equally vague like 'Oh, hey'.

The moral of the story is 'NEXT'. I have a different take on the Nexting culture as do many others. I take the same view as Nismo; disappearing for a while results in ultimate demise of the situation, which is for the best, or it makes her realise that she's stepped out of line, as with the example above. You really can't lose by becoming distant because it forces their hand.

I advocate NEXT a lot, but I rarely mean in a final manner. Get out there and broaden the portfolio. All the while this chick has been 'acting' up, I've been going out and meeting others; pulled four chicks in four consecutive weeks in the month of July. But I still have her in my peripheral vision and despite her playing attention-seeking-hard-to-get, my distance has forced her hand.

Rarely NEXT entirely, but when they really disrespect you (which is ultimately measured by your own particular standards), cut all ties.

 

[Konada]

I just next them if they're playing games. When you're slogging your a$$ off to make that 500k networth in 4 years time you have little time to play hot and cold.

 

[Mr Wright]

I have this mindset, I know I can easily have sex a few times a week. Anything on top of that is a bonus and I'm always looking to find out what works. Nexting girls, won't help you get better with women in the future, if you want to stay stagnant and just live with the skills you have today, fair enough but you'll learn nothing. Instead of nexting, just see what happens if you send her a certain type of message, does it turn her around. I've noticed that if you don't react to being flaked on and don't even bring it up, you can still recover it. If they play games more than once, you're in a dangerous area, which usually isn't worth perusing but I think everybody gets one chance...just one.

 

[BadNews]

Make a decision if you want her or not. If so, employ confident persistence. Or you can go ghost on her for a week or two; I guess you'll find out exactly how high her interest level is.

 

[Tuppy]

I appreciate the input guys - I'll just keep on the course I was on and keep with my other plates and stay NC.

Zarky - I think the answer is obvious haha

Nismo - Your name is familiar, I think I may have first read that interested women make it obvious from one of your posts months ago

Rarely NEXT entirely, but when they really disrespect you (which is ultimately measured by your own particular standards), cut all ties.

I like that idea, TMK, I guess its just simple reflection of your own values then draw the line based on that... for me no response to a question I send in text is unacceptable. Only issue is she stole my hat that night and I need it back

 

[Comatozed]

I was gonna make a new thread but this seems like a fine place.. do you ever call girls out on playing games? In a jokey, teasey unfazed way? Or better to just mirror thier behaviour and act like you didn' notice?

 

[Tuppy]

I was gonna make a new thread but this seems like a fine place.. do you ever call girls out on playing games? In a jokey, teasey unfazed way? Or better to just mirror thier behaviour and act like you didn' notice?

I wouldn't call her out can't see there being any real point

 

[Darth]

I was gonna make a new thread but this seems like a fine place.. do you ever call girls out on playing games? In a jokey, teasey unfazed way? Or better to just mirror thier behaviour and act like you didn' notice?

Ignore the games. Then decide whether you want to be with a girl who plays games. I don't; I find it phony and unattractive. I like girls who are straightforward; shows they have no ego.

 

[Comatozed]

meh in this case its tricky, i don't know if shes playing games or just protecting herself as i did leave her hanging for 5 days or so. I dont wanna become her text buddy so i slowed it down, it just feels so obv on her part shes consciously decided to mirror my time scale, which i guess is fine cos i can control the pace.

fwiw when it comes to texting id sooner a quick short messages affair once every few days, but she'd seemingly sooner send longer messages, maybe one or two a day, but with time inbetween them. Its more like an email conversation than a instant messaging convo, which i dont particularly like but she makes effort to maintain it so w/e

 

[VladPatton]

Yes, you always walk away because it shows disinterest from her. This will be your most used tactic, so get used to doing it. When they like you and wanna be with you, this thought won't even cross your mind because you'll be doing things with her.

If the phrase "I wonder if she likes me" ever enters your skull, just walk away, she doesn't. It's that simple.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

*Update on the actress chick sitch* (as it seems pertinent to topic)

I responded to the 'TMK?' email this morning after about a 36hr delay, with a simple, '(chick's name)?'.

Within an hour her own response drops in to my inbox.... 'You didn't answer when I asked if you want to meet. It's ok if you don't, just thought I'd see if you're OK'.

TMK translate says:
'You didn't respond immediately like all my beta orbiters and generally don't suck up to me all the time like they do either. This not only confuses me, but also arouses my imagination about you. Therefore I'm saying I want to come round and jump your bones, but weakly disguising it by using the most transparent of caveats 'If TMK wants' '.


Now I have been a bit overly-keen with this chick beforehand so I am doing a lot of back-tracking now. I see her orbiters giving her all the attention on social media and recently (in my extended absence) she's been entertaining their pitiful advances a bit more... they're even asking her out right on the threads. It's TMK who she's still emailing for the (potential) meeting however.

I have been too available and probably a bit too generous with her in the past. She's not a bad girl, just young and naïve. The chicks I have left behind, have almost always (like 9 times out of 10) been the ones chasing me back up.

Another moral of the story being, if a girl is playing you around, it's at least in part because you've also been played by yourself.

A useful quote I read today from Zadie Smith (On Beauty)

“Victoria herself, flush with the social and sexual successes of her first summer abroad without her family, returned home to find a tolerable young man, weighed down by his virginity and satisfyingly unmanned by his desire for her.”

 

[The_411]

It's not really walking away as it is not wasting energy. Every single guy will have a woman or women that they just can't shake or get the upper hand on for whatever reason.

This is where that mf'er, aka your ego, needs a swift kick to the balls.

We chase because our duplicitous egos convince us that if the girl only knew me better or if we keep spending time together she'll eventually become interested.

However, men must adhere to the cliched but true adage that a woman will decide within the first x short amount of time whether or not she'll sleep with you. She may not necessarily disclose her answer immediately, but she does know right off the bat.

The sad thing is that men often know their answer but ignore their gut or deny that she's not interested because they don't not want to accept her decision.

This why accepting her answer and amplifying works like a charm. She's expecting you to contest her decision, which in turn reinforces her decision.

That's why playing games is a waste of time you already know her answer you're just going through the 5 stages of grief albeit for most on a much less intense scale than actual loss.

Playing games = Denial and Bargaining

 

[ZenMaster]

A highly interested girl will make it clear and easy for you - I read this all the time on these forums.

A plate that I've been hooking up with at clubs, even bought me a drink etc wanted me to take her back to mine after night out, couldn't because something came up out of my control. She protested my decision to leave, I left anyway. Since then she has been playing games and playing hard to get.

I read Anti-Dump's machine and to quote him "If both male and female employ strategy (play hard to get etc, I'm assuming) its a stalemate and you both lose".

Texted her a while back, no response - I feel shes playing hard to get now. It doesn't really bother me that much that I lost her, that's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing this because this situation has created a burning question in my mind for future plates: If any games are played at all do you walk away or will you always have to play little games in the dating world due to peoples egos being protected/hurt? etc.

Does a true Don Juan walk away 100% of the time, even if there will always be a 'what if' in his mind?

It depends on you.

If a chick is too easy you won't respect her. No one would. They'd think somethings wrong with her same vice versa with a dude. (They may claim they would but they'd get bored.)

Does anyone ever truly respect things that are given to them and never have to put any work into? Don't lie to yourself.

Would you be satisfied if you could have ANY chick you ever wanted whenever? At first it would seem great. Then it would seem "too easy" and fake, unsatisfying.

You need to determine your own limit to what is acceptable before walking away for good or not.

If life was easy and "game" was 100% fool proof every man and every woman could get whatever they want whenever they wanted and we'd all wonder who truly liked us for us.

You have to take games as a test. And it's not always negative. YOU should be the man REGARDLESS of what's played and decide on your own if after a certain time it's even worth the effort. Some chicks will play "games" to see if you are the man they think you are or claim to be as they themselves are insecure with themselves and are looking to see if you are truly the one for them. Others simply play games because not only are they insecure, they simply don't know what they want, are more trouble than their worth and need to be let go.

Think of “playing games” as a chicks “communication” with you since they can’t or won’t verbalize them with you. (like dealing with a child who can’t speak.) You interpret their “language” and either decide you understand and will work with them or you don’t care for their “language” at a certain point and you’ll end the “conversation”.

It's up to you to decide. Not random strangers on the net who know neither of you.

"Nexting" at the slightest "ego inconvenience" is only spiting yourself.