Playful insulting- taken too far

[redbyte]

Hey all!
I finish school in 4 days! My formal is on the last day. So this should be my last thread in this forum! Horray.

I have been friends with this one chick for a year. She has no female friends, only about 20 male friends, (I know-bad news).
I've had a crush on her a while, so I asked her to the formal she said yes. The whole time we have been nothing more than good friends.

However, I decided to finally follow some of the advice on this forum, and started using neg hits. Slowly taking her down from the pedestal. Now we get along a lot better and it is generally more fun to talk to her, no long awkward silences. Shes a rather smart girl so she playfully insults me back.

But, I am only new to this whole, "insulting the one you love" sorta thing, so sometimes I take it too far, and it stops becoming a joke. You know when you are play fighting with your brother, and then it stops becoming a playfight? You both realise it, and there is a sort of anger lingering in the air. Same with me and this girl. Sometimes either me or her actually gets their feelings hurt, and then theres a sort of barrier. But then we sort it out maybe 10 mins later.

Eg. On the weekend, we were playing Balderdash. In between rounds she would draw stuff on my arm, or poke me or something. I was taking a long time to fill out my card so she started pushing my arm making my writing go all messy. So I muttered, "Damn you woman", in my best joking voice. She suddenly stopped smiling and got shocked, and said, "oi... harsh."

So my question is. How do I judge when is "too far"?

Also sometimes for no reason at all, she'll give me looks, then when I look at her, she'll play all embarassed. Or sometimes she'll push or poke me when I'm sitting next to her.
What are some DJ ways to react?

Thanks for all the help you guys been given over the year.

 

[dyce]

lol i don't see how that is too far..

there's no magic way to tell if it goes too far, it's just what you think is too far

keep going

there's nothing wrong with girls who have alot of guy-friends. most guys try the same stuff so if you do something different, you'll have them. i've pulled alot of 'popular' girls simply by playing hard to get and showing that i'm not fazed by their looks

 

[Damian]

You're on the right track. Just remember to smile when you say stuff like that, so you keep your joking edge. Otherwise, I'd say you're shoo-in for some good make-out sessions with the girl. Just initiate and you'll be okay.

-Damian

 

[GateKeeper]

If she get's sincerely mad, hold a STRONG physical stance, grab her hand, bring her in to hug you and say "I was kidding, Jane, you know it's all good with me."

Now, I love INNER GAME, but a few TECHNICAL things happen here, so let me get into the technical parts of what you do.

By holding the strong physical stance, grabbing her hand, and bringing her to hug you, YOU HAVE THE STATUS OF A STRONG, ALPHA MALE, MAN. It also is Kino, which is always goo.

With the quote, you don't apologize, but you tell her you were kidding, and she shouldn't feel hurt, and that everything is fine when she is around you. Good? Don't answer that. It's good.

oh, and then you also know your limits to where she will get hurt.

Peace & God Bless,
Gate Keeper

 

[TheGotDamnHNiC]

lmao...dont insult her on purpose. it should come out naturally and if it doesn't then its just not you. you shoudn't have to put on a fake ass smile when you say it either, unless the smile came up naturally...and you shouldnt have to think of 'when' to insult her...you're just trying to be someone that you aren't...


"Now we get along a lot better and it is generally more fun to talk to her, no long awkward silences."

i bet she is starting to see you more as a friend now then anything


and you also shouldn't give a fu*k if she gets hurt by what you said ...people get this stuff(neg hit or whatever its called) from peeping real playas around women...and real playas say whatever is on their minds, so hurting a broad never comes up. if she gets hurt then the playa will say something smooth to calm her down. it should all be natural.

women like real men..so be real !

 

[TheGotDamnHNiC]

"Eg. On the weekend, we were playing Balderdash. In between rounds she would draw stuff on my arm, or poke me or something. I was taking a long time to fill out my card so she started pushing my arm making my writing go all messy. So I muttered, "Damn you woman", in my best joking voice. She suddenly stopped smiling and got shocked, and said, "oi... harsh." "

either she is flirting with you or picking on you...if she has 20 dudes as friends then i'm guessing she is a tumboy. so i would go with #2....lol...don't be a punk. man up ! why would you say that in a joking voice?

 

[Taviii]

You should have said that in a strong manly voice, to make her see who the man is and who the woman is!! And also if she cant take a joke...next!!

 

[redbyte]

Originally posted by TheGotDamnHNiC

i bet she is starting to see you more as a friend now then anything

I'd have to disagree with that. There was a time, when I realised I had been kicked out of the friend zone. Was at some party, and I was teasing her for being short or something, and she was all shocked and said, " whats happened to you redbyte, you used to be so nice to me, now your all mean ". I just smiled.

After that she started kinoing me more, flirting more, etc. etc. Tis a good feeling when you finally get out of the dreaded friendzone.

Formal is in 2 days.
Any tips on how to make some moves?

 

[RustyMatin]

I used to do the same thing when I was joking around with girls, but I dialed it down and don't do it as much now because it really annoyed girls when I did it too much. One thing that really helps to let them know that you are just playing is to say it with a smile and laugh about it, becuase if you are too good at play acting they will believe you. But in general you don't need to make fun of her too much. I think people emphasize ****y and funny way to much, and it is a tactic that only works with some girls. It is good on occasion, but usually good conversation, confident body language and strong eye contact can get her to think you're pretty damn hot.

 

[TheGotDamnHNiC]

Originally posted by redbyte
After that she started kinoing me more, flirting more, etc. etc. Tis a good feeling when you finally get out of the dreaded friendzone.

Formal is in 2 days.
Any tips on how to make some moves? [/B]

huh? you didn't say that before. everything you said in your first post was about her teasing you...i won't be replying to any of your post anymore. you don't seem very real..why would you be nice to her when you first met her..and then get mean with her? she's prolly just trying to win your friendship back. so you have taken 1 step forward and 2 steps back. you should start with a ***** the way you end with a *****. now you just seem really fake. be yourself. i mean..if she is doing all of this flirting with you and you like her. why do you need tips on how to make a move? why haven't you even made a move yet?

 

[DJ4Real]

She probably likes you.

 

[redbyte]

Originally posted by TheGotDamnHNiC
huh? you didn't say that before. everything you said in your first post was about her teasing you...i won't be replying to any of your post anymore. you don't seem very real..why would you be nice to her when you first met her..and then get mean with her? she's prolly just trying to win your friendship back. so you have taken 1 step forward and 2 steps back. you should start with a ***** the way you end with a *****. now you just seem really fake. be yourself. i mean..if she is doing all of this flirting with you and you like her. why do you need tips on how to make a move? why haven't you even made a move yet?

Coz when I met her I was an AFC.
Therefore I stoked her ego, followed her round, etc, etc. So yes, I was fake.

But then I grew balls and spoke up. No longer accepting any of her crap. I haven't made any moves yet coz I'm no DJ, but I am improving.
So from people who been to their prom/formal, what are some pointers?

 

[the pokemaster]

say something like

"aww poor baby. did i hurt your feelings?"

then advance on her and make some kino ie a hug or something. She might push you off but it will make her like you more depending on whether the insult was reallly serious.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Originally posted by Elti Boi
say something like

"aww poor baby. did i hurt your feelings?"

then advance on her and make some kino ie a hug or something. She might push you off but it will make her like you more depending on whether the insult was reallly serious.

yeah, I may have to do that, but online.

You see, I've seemingly become a bit more ****y and I "neg hit" girls somewhat often, but not overboard. So anyway, I had IMed some girl hte night before (I had to give her something) and she didn't respond at all. After like 5 minutes, she logged off.

So today, after track practice, I was in the trainer's room since some people I knew were there an I needed to ask him something about my shoulder. Anyways, three girls walk in, and one of them was the girl I tried IMing online last night. So after a few minutes and I talked to her a little bit (she knew other people in there too), when the other two girls would not really hear it, I maed the following wisecrack: "so, it's the Iming-avoiding bandit!" with a ****y smile on my face (as in "obviously joking"). One of the girl's guy friends, a guy who gets a lot of girls, started laughing and praising mr on it "I'm the man". I don't think he even would have the guts to say something like that if he were in this situation lol. Unfortunately, I think the girl thought I was serious...she probaly didn't even see my IM's.

So, if she's online tonight, I will brief her that I was only joking and she looked stunned when I said that. The reason I would do this and not let it go is because she's a girl I would want to stay in contact with - if dating ever came into hte picture, I would be cool going out with her (HB9, not a sl*t like half my school, doesn't really smoke or drink often and a good person who isn't really a b*tch).

Things should work out though...hopefully lol.

P.S. Like redbyte said in one of his posts on this thread, I was more of an AFC when I first met her this year. But lately, I am acting more like a DJ, with some neg-hitting, applying some kino (improving on that) and being a bit more ****y that I used to be (not too ****y though...there's C+F in there too).