Play Where You Work - How Dumb Is It?

[grinder]

We have read in the bible and in this forum many times about how unwise it is to play with women you work with.

But, HOW unwise, and under which circumstances? Damn tempting isn't it?

My personal example: I fix network crap over a large part of a state. Until I found this site in Jan, I was a AFC, captulating wuss. Then, thanks to this place I began to "recover", and guess who were the very first to notice?, Women in the offices. Because my DJ skills were still weak I caved to desire in a few cases (exactly 2 actually).

Well, guess what, about half the work I have to do in one of the offices is usually bogus BS to get me there (150 miles away). I am no longer interested in the woman there and, of course, the more I pull back, the worse it gets. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I am now (a little) smarter and focus my time collecting digits in the malls in those cities and having nothing to do with those I work with except my damn job.

But, still, I keep thinking, are my skills just crappy and I just can't handle it? How do these other guys get FB's all over the place, work and otherwise? Does it depend on the woman, is she mature enough, cool enough? Do I not have the skills to screen women properly yet?

I'm still not good at cold approaches and it's so much easier/tempting to be properly THANKED for fixing something

So whats the advice: Never, ever play with women you work with?: sometimes, only if you are DJ enough?: Depends on the situation?:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys with "jobs" feel that dipping their pen in the company ink (yeah, I know it's old) couldn't hurt. Guys with careers usually know better.

 

[disciple]

Alot of chicks at work are just looking for "daytime babysitters".

They like to flirt with and get attention from guys at the office so they aren't bored during the day and then go home to their boyfriends or husbands at night.

I've fell victim to these types of b*tches more than once because it is not always easy to tell real interest from that attention ***** sh*t.

There are some women at the office that will have genuine interest in you but is still not a good idea to get involved with them.

You can use them to practice some of your Don Juan sh*t but even then you have to be careful not to cross certain lines.

There are 3 billion women on this planet at any given time.

Work is for pay, the rest of the day is for play.

 

[Desdinova]

A while back, I went out and got a part time job for some extra money...... and to meet more women

I dated a couple from there because I really didn't give a damn about the job itself. I acted like a jackass, did my work, flirted with women, and got paid for it. Everyone loved working with me because I was so much fun.

At my REAL job, there's only three women here. One's a miserable old hag who hates men. One's a kind middle-aged woman, one is an ugly french married woman with nice legs. I only recall one good looking woman that went through here. She was a sexy married secretary with big boobs. That was around the time I found sosuave (or just before) and I changed her goddam tire for the sole reason that I wanted something in return (I know, dumb). She was canned after two months. If I would've known that and had the experience I have now, I probably would have gone for it (and succeeded)

Other than that, I always stuck to the rule of "don't stick your dink in the company ink"

 

[realsmoothie]

It's really not worth it, especially if you have even half a game and can get it somewhere else.

I work at a place that usually has around ten employees total, usually 2/3 women over the years.

I've fooled around with four in the last two years. Now, things didn't get wierd with any of them... BUT it did create some jealousy issues. Not necessarily between the girls themselves, but it made it very difficult to hit on anything that comes into the store. My co-workers would always sense it and cckblock me.

Of course, they think it's funny. D'oh.

 

[grinder]

Ok, I would like to expand this thread as I think some very good advice has been given on staying the hell away from women you work with directly.

Again, personal interest here, but what if you were in a semi-small office building with about 10 separate businesses there and their were a few (3 exactly) hb8+ there.

You DO have to share an elevator and/or steps. It is very likley things will get very personal with at least one of them, BUT, you KNOW nothing is permament. When you/I move on to the next triumpherant (I seriously believe in 3 of everything important) have you just fu*cked yourself, or do you just MAN-UP and realize they can't touch you.

To go further, what about a health club you frequent, restaurant you love to go to, even the freaking grocery store you go to: If you hose someone in these places is it boner move? I JUST got digits from the Food Lion manger who is hot. I have been going to this store for 14 years. Eventually, will she hate my freakin guts and put my eggs under the case of Miller Lite?

I'm all ears, I gotta get to the Grocery Store tomorrow.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Alot of chicks at work are just looking for "daytime babysitters"....

I like that!

 

[davester88]

I play where I work. I work at a golf course. And they let us play for free!





on a more serious note, I have a couple chicks that work with me that I mack on regularly, I'm 16, their 19 i dont think their is anything dumb about it...

 

[NorPacWolf]

Each situation is different. Some companies have an explicit ban. Others informally discourage it. Other industries (such as film and music) rely upon hookups, seriously. Find out where your company and industry stands in this spectrum.

Second, there is the issue of how you feel about it. Some people pull and don't care where. Others are very sensitive about drawing a line between work and play.

The safest situation is to avoid work dalliances altogether. You say you drive 150 miles for tail? C'mon man, your fear of cold approaches couldn't be that bad that you would drive that far for tail. There must be plenty of options much closer to home. There's internet dating, cold approaches, social circle sarging. Do you want her because you already know her, or do you really want her? Don't limit yourself like that.

Wolf

We have read in the bible and in this forum many times about how unwise it is to play with women you work with.

But, HOW unwise, and under which circumstances? Damn tempting isn't it?

My personal example: I fix network crap over a large part of a state. Until I found this site in Jan, I was a AFC, captulating wuss. Then, thanks to this place I began to "recover", and guess who were the very first to notice?, Women in the offices. Because my DJ skills were still weak I caved to desire in a few cases (exactly 2 actually).

Well, guess what, about half the work I have to do in one of the offices is usually bogus BS to get me there (150 miles away). I am no longer interested in the woman there and, of course, the more I pull back, the worse it gets. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I am now (a little) smarter and focus my time collecting digits in the malls in those cities and having nothing to do with those I work with except my damn job.

But, still, I keep thinking, are my skills just crappy and I just can't handle it? How do these other guys get FB's all over the place, work and otherwise? Does it depend on the woman, is she mature enough, cool enough? Do I not have the skills to screen women properly yet?

I'm still not good at cold approaches and it's so much easier/tempting to be properly THANKED for fixing something

So whats the advice: Never, ever play with women you work with?: sometimes, only if you are DJ enough?: Depends on the situation?:

 

[GirlCrazy]

15 years ago, and it still stands out in my mind:

A woman named Debbie screaming at the top of her lungs in a busy office, at some poor schmuck:

"You fvcking bastard, you got me pregnant!"

Even if both parties are discreet, they'll still fuel the office rumor mill sooner or later and hurt their careers. There's always some nosey chick (every office has one) that thinks it's part of her job description to figure out who's screwing who in the office.

nosey chick: So what did you do this weekend?
employee A: I went to _place_ with my new boyfriend
nosey chick: So what did you do this weekend?
employee B: I went to _same place_ with my new girlfriend

 

[Latinoman]

I will put it in perspective based on my life:

I am ambitious and my career is extremely important. In fact, my career goals are very high and a priority in my life.

There are two things that are legal and tend to screw a man's life: alcohol and women.

Playing where you work is very dumb. One of the dumbest things. If I was a boss, I would never move up the ladder a man that lacks judgment (I don't care how good he is). I would certainly never move up to the ladder one that "plays" at work.


Think about this...if you don't care about your career (note: even if you are not planning to work in that place, this kind of crap will follow you anywhere you go) and if you are not ambitious...then I don't think it matters. Keeping in mind that the best women out there prefer men that are ambitious and have a career (regardless of what you do - mechanics, computers, office, etc.).

 

[Latinoman]

Guys with "jobs" feel that dipping their pen in the company ink (yeah, I know it's old) couldn't hurt. Guys with careers usually know better.

EXCELLENT statement (I will borrow that statement in the future too)!

 

[Cod3r]

Amen!

Maybe I'm being biased because I live in NYC and I see beautiful women everyday just walking the street and when I wake up (gf) but is it worth the risk ?? To me, not even close... work is for $$$, never forget that !


-Cod3r

 

[Latinoman]

Maybe I'm being biased because I live in NYC and I see beautiful women everyday just walking the street and when I wake up (gf) but is it worth the risk ?? To me, not even close... work is for $$$, never forget that !


-Cod3r

Good advice.

 

[grinder]

I appreciate the feedback:

Francisco: "Don't dip you pen/dink in the company ink...". That's good advice.

chalk: "..exciting for a while but can go bad easily". Learning that the hard way and am paying the price now. Not only do I have a "messy" situation in that office I have a suspicious husband that comes to the office to keep an eye on me. Talk about work under pressure...

NorPacWolf: "...drive 150 miles for tail?..". I didn't keep doing it, I stopped because it got weird and stupid very quickly. As I learn more here I realize how really stupid it is. I realize I am very, very lucky now in that I travel to about 15 different cities and I have been practicing CA's everywhere I go. And I used to complain about traveling so much: I love hitting the road now.

 

[Bonhomme]

There's another dimension to this:

If both people's careers are at similar levels of importance, I would think it least likely that either would want to literally screw things up with any whack behavior, and would be more likely to be discreet about the whole thing.

The worst situations tend to involve the greatest disparities of status between those involved.

 

[Latinoman]

There's another dimension to this:

If both people's careers are at similar levels of importance, I would think it least likely that either would want to literally screw things up with any whack behavior, and would be more likely to be discreet about the whole thing.

.

Well...we all know that there is a time in which one of them might make a mistake (missed an appointment with a client or couldn't meet a deadline or missed a project, etc.)...and that mistake can set their careers back a little. And do you know what? They will feel resentment watching the "ex" succeeding. So...the remarks would start creeping out...and BOOM!

No worthy.