Platonic "friends" of opposite sex

[CoandaEffect]

This thread is fascinating to me. I firmly believe that you can have female friends, because I have them. For me it only works if there is no physical desire and you maintain boundaries.

I used to be the kind of guy that would help out my female friends by doing favors for them but I have learnt to setup and keep boundaries. A good friend of mine was having issues with a cupboard door. Just the kind of thing that I would once have just fixed for her. After her asking me for weeks how to fix it she finally realized I was not going to do it for her and she paid to have a handyman come and do it. That’s what I mean by keeping boundaries. Don’t just run to fix something every time they mention it, enforce that boundary.

On the physical desire front, l once had a friend that I developed feelings for. It got very uncomfortable for me and I eventually told her the way I felt. Of course it went no where but to my surprise she still wanted to be friends with me. She carried on like nothing had changed. I just couldn’t take it so I slow faded and we are no longer friends. Funny thing is I ran into her about a year later and she was, shall we say hostile. Like I said, it doesn’t work if there is physical desire and it’s quite possible to develop feeling for someone over a period of time. I had no desire for her when I first met her.

Well that has been my experience but I respect the views of those that have had different experiences. It’s just another example of how we are all different.

 

[Robert28]

Agree with what @TheProspect has stated.

If @Robert28 is experiencing this amount of mooching or attempts to take advantage then he isn’t running into quality women. I do NOT ask for money etc. from men. Never have, not even from men I’m involved with. I know lots of women do that...but not all, and you simply say no and don’t ever ask again.

This isn’t anything against you, but in my experience low quality women are the only ones that want to be just friends or friendzone guys. They learned that behavior in highschool and have never grown out of it and matured enough to say a proper “not interested”. Men are told to say no to bumming women but women should take a look at themselves and ask why they need to depend on others for favors. You can’t simply say no to manipulators who have learned this behavior their whole life. If it was that easy, they wouldn’t be successful manipulators.

 

[Robert28]

This thread is fascinating to me. I firmly believe that you can have female friends, because I have them. For me it only works if there is no physical desire and you maintain boundaries.

I used to be the kind of guy that would help out my female friends by doing favors for them but I have learnt to setup and keep boundaries. A good friend of mine was having issues with a cupboard door. Just the kind of thing that I would once have just fixed for her. After her asking me for weeks how to fix it she finally realized I was not going to do it for her and she paid to have a handyman come and do it. That’s what I mean by keeping boundaries. Don’t just run to fix something every time they mention it, enforce that boundary.

On the physical desire front, l once had a friend that I developed feelings for. It got very uncomfortable for me and I eventually told her the way I felt. Of course it went no where but to my surprise she still wanted to be friends with me. She carried on like nothing had changed. I just couldn’t take it so I slow faded and we are no longer friends. Funny thing is I ran into her about a year later and she was, shall we say hostile. Like I said, it doesn’t work if there is physical desire and it’s quite possible to develop feeling for someone over a period of time. I had no desire for her when I first met her.

Well that has been my experience but I respect the views of those that have had different experiences. It’s just another example of how we are all different.

It’s exhausting constantly keeping boundaries because women have the audacity to think you want to be their personal handyman. I shouldn’t have to tire myself out maintaining boundaries and constantly being tested by some woman trying to work me for favors. It’s much easier to just not be friends with them and then you have no boundaries to constantly maintain.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So now it’s immature not to want women friends?lol Sorry but when you’ve been used and abused by them in the past, it only makes sense to want to avoid that in the future. I call that growth and recognizing a problem and dealing with it......ie maturity. I will never be shamed into buying into the belief that men and women can or should be friends.

You can be their friend and see them a few times a year.

One things my female "friends" are good for. They are good for networking with females they normally wouldn't like to snoop on me and pass information.

It’s exhausting constantly keeping boundaries because women have the audacity to think you want to be their personal handyman. I shouldn’t have to tire myself out maintaining boundaries and constantly being tested by some woman trying to work me for favors. It’s much easier to just not be friends with them and then you have no boundaries to constantly maintain.

Charge each female who asks

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

imo, i dont think men and women could be platonic friends.
i also believe that women know this too.