Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
This is exactly the trap you should avoid. The minute you entertain exclusivity with a single target you limit your options and diminish your own commodity - and not just with the girl you're exclusive with, but in your own self-estimation. The longer you spend focusing on one plate, the more she becomes your only option - both to her and in your own mind. Once a woman has confirmed for her by you that she is your sole source of intimacy, you lose power and commodity because the anxiety caused by the threat of outside competition is removed and you enter her frame.swampwiz said:
Yes, only not to the same degree. While I'm a strong proponent of NEXTing "dead-end" girls in favor of pragmatically pursuing better prospects, it's important to remember the latent function of Plate Theory - and this is that it functions for your own benefit as well as the benefit of the women you are entertaining. By spinning multiple plates you confirm for them and yourself that you have a commodity status. This is evidenced in your own behavior and self-esteem and is then reaffirmed by the women you are non-exclusive with. As I stated originally, it's much easier to have an "I don't give a fvck" attitude when you actually don't give a fvck because you have other valid options. When this is covertly (never overtly) communicated to a woman she will value you as a commodity. And again, you must never overtly state that you have options, as this will have the opposite effect of commodity since it confirms a lack of confidence in the necessity of stating it. A rich man doesn't need to tell you he's rich, neither does a man with options need to tell you about his options - this fact is evidenced in his behaviors, self-awareness and subcommunications. Women's natural default is COVERT communication and this is how you should approach Plate Theory.swampwiz said:
Commodity is fundamental to developing a PRIZE mentality for yourself. A PRIZE is valuable. A PRIZE is something other people want and will compete for. One of the most grevious controls a woman has at her disposal is removing this commodity from a man by limiting his options in commitment. This limitation isn't just in a practical sense, but also a psychological one. When a woman can convince a man that she is his only option (for love, sex, intimacy, the future, etc.), and this is mutually recognized by both partners, he is powerless and she sets the frame for the relationship.
Thus it is imperative, even in an LTR, that the spectre of this anxiety of his commodity (he is still the PRIZE) is still in effect for her. The extreme example of this is the guy ready to leave at a moments notice for another prospect, but this is fear, and no way to maintain a relationship. However, by cultivating a PRIZE mentality before commitment and retaining and effectively subcommunicating the subtle anxiety of doubt into an LTR/Marriage a woman is more likely to regard her mate as an enduring commodity that other women 'would' compete for, and establishes a more lasting appreciation of him and his value.
This establishement of a commodity status is developed by adopting the practices of Plate Theory while a man is single. I should also add that a man's job, his social status, his talents, skills, ambitions and motivation to achieve also add to this commodity and deserves consideration, however it's no great secret that highly successful men are more often abysmal failures in their personal lives.
So to answer your question, yes, do ocassionally spin a plate you perceive as having a lower IL than the "sure thing", fall back plate. Ideally you'll want multiple high IL plates going simultaneously, but entertaining the lower IL plate (or undetermined IL) is for your benefit. Not necessarily because the lower IL woman could be 'converted' or should even be given special consideration in hopes of success, but rather the effect it will have on your own self-perception and personality, as well as the behaviors that come from this being interpreted by high IL women that prove you as a commodity. By doing this, in a sense, you help develop your own social proof that is covertly communicated to women you may (much later) consider for an exclusive realtionship.
