Plate of three months NEVER initiates contact

[Mazer]

Have a plate who I have been seeing for three months, took five dates to sex her (yeah, I know). She never initiates contact. Responds to my text two days later. I mirror. I contact her once a week, set up a date, come home and bang.
Last weekend she took me to a Christmas party with all of her close friends. She brings me small gifts, baked goods and shyt. At the Christmas party her friends asked me how we met, I told them Whole Foods. She was chasing me around the produce section. We actually met on OLD. Anyway, two of her friends mentioned that isn’t her style, she wouldn’t chase after anyone. I am curious if she is running game or low interest. I have two other plates spinning.

 

[lamath]

just weird, metting her friend should be a good indicator.
idk

 

[flowtheory]

Maybe your her third plate? And she likes the options an attention. Bringing you to a Christmas party and baked goods and stuff are all good signs. Maybe distance yourself and create a bit of scarcity so she chases you? Or just keep doing what you’re doing and be okay that this is what it is

 

[Trump]

I’m having the same issue, three dates she never initiates. If she doesn’t initiate after fourth, sex toy.

This is North America, women have Power. If women have Power, they have to initiate. Otherwise it’s a lose-lose situation for the guy.

 

[Mazer]

just weird, metting her friend should be a good indicator.
idk

I was thinking the same. Would be a big deal for me If I ntroduced a plate to my closest friends but we all know women sometimes think differently. It actually works in my favor because my other two plates are needy and I don’t need a third one hounding me. I just find it all interesting

 

[lamath]

Its like 2 opposing signs.
I would test her and not contact her until she contact me, this is just weird af

 

[Serenity]

It's because she obviously hasn't learned yet that she has to. She may very well be into you, but why would she contact you if you always contact her? She knows you'll contact her and you have ever since you met, she doesn't need to. Especially now that it's a pattern, she probably won't break out of the established pattern, because "this is just how it is".

If I woman regularly initiated contact with me and it usually happened before I did it first, then I'd probably just let it be that way. Who goes first isn't important if the dates are great every time, no need to change what works.

I honestly wouldn't bother much with this if all else is good, which it sounds like it is. Not all women are clingy and needy, this is a good thing IMO. I wouldn't test her by being silent until she reaches out in this case, because when she does you'll have to answer to why you broke the pattern. Doesn't sound so bad, but it would reveal you as the one playing games. Again, don't risk breaking what works.

 

[guru1000]

OP this is what happens when you fail to create “Challenge” and “Distance” (C & D). Devoid of these two elements, she forces you to do all the legwork (initiate).

Bad terms and the antithesis to attraction. You are going to be riding on borrowed money soon as your attraction money (which you had initially created by who you are) is slowly dwindling.

Create C & D to make her invest or you will remain in her frame which will ultimately undermine the relation.

 

[flowtheory]

OP this is what happens when you fail to create “Challenge” and “Distance” (C & D). Devoid of these two elements, she forces you to do all the legwork (initiate).

Bad terms and the antithesis to attraction. You are going to be riding on borrowed money soon as your attraction money (which you had initially created by who you are) is slowly dwindling.

Create C & D to make her invest or you will remain in her frame which will ultimately undermine the relation.

So for him to create this now. Would he have to wait for her to reach out? (Distance). And would doing that also be the challenge? Or would the challenge be a different aspect; such as saying he’s busy on the propose day with a previous engagement and in turn asks for a different day?

 

[Chi Town]

I would say she's not all that into you.

Your cool enough to hang with at times but she's not all that invested.

Who cares, keep her as a plate and enjoy the sex.

 

[guru1000]

So for him to create this now. Would he have to wait for her to reach out? (Distance). And would doing that also be the challenge? Or would the challenge be a different aspect; such as saying he’s busy on the propose day with a previous engagement and in turn asks for a different day?

I never find myself in such frames as I never entertain them. Consider what OP wrote:

Have a plate who I have been seeing for three months, took five dates to sex her (yeah, I know). She never initiates contact.

I pursue until sex. Then I make her invest. If she doesn't reach out more than 50% of the time, I wont reach out at all. In most of my current STRs, the girl reaches out 70-80%+ of the time; that is ... if I'm not ignoring her altogether.

Responds to my text two days later

Respond to my text 48 hours later? What?? Here, I wouldn't respond at all. She would have to double text to re-engage me.

OP finds himself in this situation because he allows it.

Frame > Sex

 

[sosousage]

Its over man, she doesnt need u

 

[Mazer]

I decided to stop reaching out to her. I gave her Silence and distance, dgaf if the plate broke because I have others. We have been seeing each other for three months. Never reached out, always accepted dates.
She contacted me for the first time today realizing I wasn’t going to reach out like I always do. I let it go to voicemail. Bishes be crazy. Power play move on her part for sure. You need me more than I need you mindset. That’s my goal.

 

[fanatic22]

The only problem here is you spinning your wheels over this chick. It sounds like you like her too much and wish she was super into you.

You said it yourself, you already have two plates and don't need 3 chicks hounding you. This, to me, is my favorite kind of plate. Always responsive but not needy. You never have to have the "what are we" conversation and the sex is always there. I would 100% continue hitting her up. This is assuming you just want sex and general companionship. If you want her to be your girlfriend (which should never really be the mentality, but whatever) then yeah the best thing you can do is create distance until her feelings are more level with yours.

 

[flowtheory]

The only problem here is you spinning your wheels over this chick. It sounds like you like her too much and wish she was super into you.

You said it yourself, you already have two plates and don't need 3 chicks hounding you. This, to me, is my favorite kind of plate. Always responsive but not needy. You never have to have the "what are we" conversation and the sex is always there. I would 100% continue hitting her up. This is assuming you just want sex and general companionship. If you want her to be your girlfriend (which should never really be the mentality, but whatever) then yeah the best thing you can do is create distance until her feelings are more level with yours.

General companionship, with an attractive woman who isn’t needy, while having good sex; everyguy is going to want to be something with that type of woman. I’m really not surprised OP caught the feels.
Sometimes it’s difficult to just label some women as plates. There’s always one every once in awhile who shakes it all up

 

[fanatic22]

General companionship, with an attractive woman who isn’t needy, while having good sex; everyguy is going to want to be something with that type of woman. I’m really not surprised OP caught the feels.
Sometimes it’s difficult to just label some women as plates. There’s always one every once in awhile who shakes it all up

Well if he HAS caught feelings then he definitely needs to create distance. That wasn't totally clear from his posts.

 

[Mazer]

General companionship, with an attractive woman who isn’t needy, while having good sex; everyguy is going to want to be something with that type of woman. I’m really not surprised OP caught the feels.
Sometimes it’s difficult to just label some women as plates. There’s always one every once in awhile who shakes it all up

Nah, I’m actually not feeling her too much, sex isn’t exciting and she is a bit dull. Tbh She isn’t much fun to hang out with. I’m an extrovert, she is not. Her vagina is super tight, that’s what keeps me interested. She is also bisexual and wants to have a threesome MFF and I am willing to help her out.

 

[flowtheory]

Nah, I’m actually not feeling her too much, sex isn’t exciting and she is a bit dull. Tbh She isn’t much fun to hang out with. I’m an extrovert, she is not. Her vagina is super tight, that’s what keeps me interested. She is also bisexual and wants to have a threesome MFF and I am willing to help her out.

Well when you put it like this.. I guess this whole thread was superfluous, hey?