Plate lost her job:Depressed:How do you handle it?

[slickaz]

OK so she has lost her job, and is unable to find another job.

its affecting her, she is depressed has lost all motivation and is feeling really down.

i left her in bed one time at 7:30AM to go to work, came back home at 1pm to pick something up, and she is still sleeping in the same spot.
I asked her to get up and get out there and tried having an hour long convo about how she should get out there and do more CV drops etc.

her answer: No, leave me alone!

anyway i figured after an hour i had no option so i just left her at my place, i didnt have the heart to throw her out.

anyway, she has been there for me in times of need and i feel like this is really not her fault, with the job loss.

how would you react?
I dont want to let her go, i wanna keep her but this is just negativity.
she has lost her motivation and drive.

will it come back? i dont know.
do i want her to be lively, yes but given the circumstances i can understand why she feels sad.
however!!!

solution?!!

 

[King Turi]

Give her a couple of days to work her **** out first then get her back into lookin' for work.

 

[cola]

Gotta help her bro..
If you really care about her make a few phone calls and get her something..
A retail store
A restauraunt, something..

The depression will stop when she accepts she lost her job.
Think about it.. people spend 8 hrs a day or more at work.. You get attatched to it..
Build friendships with coworkers and relationships with regular customers right now she's going through the grieving process.. shell be fine in a week or two but help as much as you can..
Trust me now when you lose a job you get more streseed than ever.. its hard to find them..
I wanna quit everyday but can't cause I don't want to be broke and its not like before where I should be able to find one quickly..

And depending how much you really care throw her a few bucks when you can for her bills..

Ps. She is going to get really attatched to you if you do these things so be careful.. that may not be what you want if she is afterall.. "just a plate"..
G/l keep us posted
-chris

 

[Jitterbug]

She's a plate, not your girlfriend, not your friend. Therefore, it's not your problem. Don't try to be Mr Fix-It. I'm sure there are plenty of nice-guy orbiters in her life who can do that for her.

 

[cola]

She's a plate, not your girlfriend, not your friend. Therefore, it's not your problem. Don't try to be Mr Fix-It. I'm sure there are plenty of nice-guy orbiters in her life who can do that for her.

You missed the part where he said she was there for him in his time of need..

 

[Allurre]

Right now, she's in a time of need and support. Losing a job can be emotionally draining; it can suck the life out of you, especially at such economical downturn.

I highly suggest that you help her hunt for a job, and give her motivation.

She'll forever be in debt to you and will appreciate you for your efforts.

Learn to give more than you take.

 

[Warrior74]

Admit it. That's your girlfriend. Because a real DJ wouldn't even be asking this quesiton. Plates come and go. This is a cold game.

I had a plate who lost her job, she wouldn't shake her depression, couldn't find a job, was really negative and no fun to be around. I tried helping her...but you know a woman...they don't want help unless your gonna give her what she had before or greater. There was nothing I could do there. I tried to make our time together as fun as possible, I listened when she talked about her situation...but eventually there was nothing for me to fix and she couldn't shake off what she was going through...it faded.

I've been through crippling depression, and I've watched everyone but my family pull away from me before. At the time I really didn't care and in retrospect I'm not mad at them. Nobody wants to be around that all the time, its draining on their lives.

If you are not in love, she is not your girlfriend or wife...it is not your concern. A plate is for fun, if she 's not fun drop her. It's the best thing you can do. Listen for a little while, try to make things fun...but if she's not fun, go hang out with another plate.

Don't listen to these captain save a hoes talking about help her...she has to help her self just like the rest of us. Either your a DJ and she's a plate, or she's your girlfriend (ya I know that's binary thinking, but there is only so much you can do).

BTW, if a chic is in my bed and tells me to leave her alone, she can go home and be alone.

harden up my son.

 

[KontrollerX]

You missed the part where he said she was there for him in his time of need..

Reciprocity is not a necessity when a girl is merely a plate.

I don't care if she donated a kidney to you.

You are not obligated to help a chick that helped you unless she is your girlfriend or wife and even then you don't always have to return favor for favor.

 

[Igetit!]

What's up Slickaz,

I must admit-this is a difficult situation to be in. You got a few replies saying it isn't your problem,and a few others telling you to give her a helping hand.
Both sides are legit,however,I mostly agree with King Turi.

Personally,I'd TELL HER that she's going to find another job,And i'd help her look for one on one of your days off. I understand she feels bad and she's depressed. I've been through this before myself,and yeah,it sucks. I was depressed because it was like I had nothing to look forward to. I didn't have to go to bed early because there was nothing to get up early in the morning for. It is depressing man.

Now although she had no choice in the losing of her job,she does have a choice in how she responds to the loss of it. She can choose to lay around the house all day feeling bad,or she can get up early in the morning,wash her face,get herself together,and go out into the world meeting people,getting contacts,filling out applications,setting up interviews,etc.
Like King Turi said,if she just recently lost her job,she fine,she can spend a few days feeling bad and mourning the loss of her employment. Let her feel bad for a few days. But after 5,6 or 7 days,you need to tell her that she need to stop feeling sorry for herself,and get out there and find another job.
If she needs help,and you don't mind helping her,then tell her on one of your days off,you two will go around town looking hitting up different places in search of employment. At least this way,she won't feel alone during this rough patch in her life.

Let her know that you don't mind helping her,but if all she's going to do is lay around feeling sorry for herself,being negative,and depressed,then she can do that by herself,alone at her place. You don't need her negativity dragging you down.

Peace man.

 

[cola]

Reciprocity is not a necessity when a girl is merely a plate.

I don't care if she donated a kidney to you.

You are not obligated to help a chick that helped you unless she is your girlfriend or wife and even then you don't always have to return favor for favor.

maybe he isn't a complete tool and has compassion for his fellow man and woman..
This don juan **** has corrupted many of you and made you complete tools..
Grow up..
You don't have to be coldhearted to get girls and if you did I wouldn't want them..

 

[slaog]

Its not AFC to help people if you're doing it for the right reason. AFC's help people because they want something in return.

 

[Biggie]

maybe he isn't a complete tool and has compassion for his fellow man and woman..
This don juan **** has corrupted many of you and made you complete tools..
Grow up..
You don't have to be coldhearted to get girls and if you did I wouldn't want them..

I'm with you on this one. If being a DJ means to lose all compassion for any other human being other than yourself, then **** being a DJ.

 

[KontrollerX]

maybe he isn't a complete tool and has compassion for his fellow man and woman..
This don juan **** has corrupted many of you and made you complete tools..
Grow up..
You don't have to be coldhearted to get girls and if you did I wouldn't want them..

Its not about being coldhearted.

Its about common sense and honesty.

For example if I were to ask you if you would help an ugly old balding homeless man out of his depression by playing his therapist the same as you think its alright doing that for some hot girl I bet you'd find some lame excuse for not wanting to do it.

As another poster already said the AFC mentality causes the weak male to use pathetic deception tactics that take the form of helping a girl out or being her captain save a h0.

This is dishonest as the AFC has no true desire to help the girl but rather help himself.

Secretly the AFC expects to get rewarded for his helpful nature by either getting a girlfriend out of his helpful efforts or getting the chance at getting a girlfriend out of the deal by his manipulative help being rewarded with a phony friendship between he and the girl which he believes in the future he can transition into a relationship between the two.

The AFC being dishonest again has no true desire to be the girl's friend, it is merely a transitory phase before he can finally get what he really wants or so he thinks.

The AFC being so foolish does not understand how the desire dynamic works. It is ignited not by approaching a woman as a friend but as a sexual being which of course means one must approach a girl as a man that is interested in her as a potential girlfriend/partner of some sort.

The discomfort, anxiety and uncertainty such an overt action places upon a girl she may then begin to interpret as desire for the guy if she finds him attractive.

Approaching a girl as a friend however gives the girl a safe feeling for the guy and does not arouse any powerful emotions or anxieties in her which is why the AFC mentality seldom ever works.

So coming back to the main point it is only common sense to help one's immediate family, friends or one's actual girlfriend or wife. Not some girl whom you have no involvement with at all.

I doubt you cola would help a homeless man through a depression the same as you would help some hot babe and the reason you wouldn't help the homeless man is because the possible reward is not there.

You tell us to grow up and you indirectly call us tools but who is the one willing to let himself be used by a girl that is not even his girlfriend and play her therapist?

Hmmm, I think that man is...wait for it...wait for it...COLA!

And as for growing up well...

A truly mature person who knows the world around them knows that nothing in life is free.

That poor depressed woman you think we should all agree to help so readily has the same mentality as every other woman towards us men and that mentality is "What have you done for me lately?"

She wouldn't be helping you out if you were depressed and uninvolved with her as her boyfriend so why do you give a fvck about her? It doesn't make you good it makes you an idiot.

So I and every other DJ who knows the score here asks the question...

Since women think this way and benefit themselves by it why not get in on the same action?

So cola you really wanna be a knight? Go work for greenpeace or habitat for humanity but please stop pretending you are better than any of us for being in favor of helping some broad thats not even one's own girlfriend.

Thats your personal morality and your personal standards, they don't apply to us and if you are only in favor of helping such a girl out in hopes of being rewarded by a relationship you fail your own moral code anyway and are no better than those you try and judge with it.

 

[SamePendo]

Bytches are always depressed.
Besides, put aside whether its your obligation to help her or not, if she said "No, leave me alone!" ... well, you do just that. Help out whomever you wish to, but to actually help someone that person must really want your help.

 

[axxo]

Okay... if possible ask her to change her diet:

1) No complex carbs (bread, pasta, rice, etc)
2) Eat organic/raw food
3) Exercise

Those will change her chemistry.

This is field tested on my current girl.