Plate had threesome with friend and another guy in past, but refuses to do one with me.

[Knight of Roses]

Got this plate that I been off/on with for about 2 years. Things are usually pretty good between us, she comes over frequently, spends the night, etc... Took me a while to bag the kitty though, she was holding out for a while. Anyways, she has a friend of hers that I also know and am attracted to. I been trying to push for a 3some, but my plate refuses.

I found out through her friend that several months ago, the two of them got super drunk and on drugs one night with another guy and did the threesome. Now I feel irritated as I been wanting to push that for some time.

What yall think? Is this something usually worth pushing for or being mad about? Or let it go?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

the two of them got super drunk and on drugs one night

She just gave you the keys.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If you know she had a threesome she’s obviously open to discussing that kind of stuff with you… she opened the door you just need to walk through it with a little more patience and finesse than you’re displaying

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

You found out through the friend? Your talking about sex with her friend without her knowing? This is gonna come back to bite you, should always let her lead the 3some, she probably doesn't wanna lead the 3some nor let her friend lead one with you but let her friend lead one before, it's common for one friend to be hypersexual while another isn't and they always bring their friends down that road eventually

Channel this down a path of mutual exploration as opposed to "Waaah I didn't get no puussssy!"

 

[Hamurabimbi]

1). Girls do different things with different guys.
2) Girls do different things when drunk/high.

 

[Young OG]

1). Girls do different things with different guys.
2) Girls do different things when drunk/high.

This. You’re just not that guy or you need to get her drunk.

 

[TB24]

Or she doesn't want to appear as a sl*t to you whereas she doesn't care if the appear so to that other guy.

 

[Macadellic]

She presenting herself to be something that she isn’t so you can be the inexperienced fool that doesn’t know any better that will take her seriously and give her a commitment.

You are a real man that is so secure in himself with nothing to worry about when she goes out with her friends and girls trip.

 

[Learning Curve]

Got this plate that I been off/on with for about 2 years. Things are usually pretty good between us, she comes over frequently, spends the night, etc... Took me a while to bag the kitty though, she was holding out for a while. Anyways, she has a friend of hers that I also know and am attracted to. I been trying to push for a 3some, but my plate refuses.

I found out through her friend that several months ago, the two of them got super drunk and on drugs one night with another guy and did the threesome. Now I feel irritated as I been wanting to push that for some time.

What yall think? Is this something usually worth pushing for or being mad about? Or let it go?

Tell her to invite her friend and you go all out together for drinks.

Escalate from there.

She has the shield of b1tch-protection as she don't want to be considered a slut. Logical.

Treat it as a fun-night-out.

 

[SW15]

Got this plate that I been off/on with for about 2 years. Things are usually pretty good between us, she comes over frequently, spends the night, etc... Took me a while to bag the kitty though, she was holding out for a while. Anyways, she has a friend of hers that I also know and am attracted to. I been trying to push for a 3some, but my plate refuses.

I found out through her friend that several months ago, the two of them got super drunk and on drugs one night with another guy and did the threesome. Now I feel irritated as I been wanting to push that for some time.

What yall think? Is this something usually worth pushing for or being mad about? Or let it go?

I am able to see your point of view. The perception that you have about this has merit. You will feel some annoyance about not having the threesome.

How you respond depends on how you feel about her. Threesomes have a way of de-stabilizing a primary interaction. It's very difficult to keep things the same after that with a girlfriend or a wife.

If you want to keep things going with your current plate, you either have to let it go or try to use some finesse as @Divorced w 3 is suggesting.

If you have tried to push recently and failed, you won't want to mention it in any way again for at least a few months, then try a way with more finesse in the future.

 

[Knight of Roses]

I am able to see your point of view. The perception that you have about this has merit. You will feel some annoyance about not having the threesome.

How you respond depends on how you feel about her. Threesomes have a way of de-stabilizing a primary interaction. It's very difficult to keep things the same after that with a girlfriend or a wife.

If you want to keep things going with your current plate, you either have to let it go or try to use some finesse as @Divorced w 3 is suggesting.

If you have tried to push recently and failed, you won't want to mention it in any way again for at least a few months, then try a way with more finesse in the future.

So what you're suggesting is that a woman is more hesitant to engage in a threesome with a guy in her primary interaction circle compared to lets say a stranger or random night hookup?

I mean Ive been on dates with her, smashed several times, she usually is the one that reaches out wanting to spend the night, so I don't think its an interest level thing. I'm not sure though.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My GF at the time saw a pic of a recent ex. She was drunk and said we should do a 3-some. A few days later I was hanging out with that ex and told her. She immediately agreed. I called my GF (who was sober now) and told her my ex agreed. She weaseled out of it.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You already f-ed up by asking for one. Smooth move ex lax.

With that knowledge you should maneuvered a situation to that, like a weekend at the beach resort were you two meet a cool chick at the pool swim up bar and hang out that night…

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree with the others who have said she doesn't want to do that with you OP.

Obviously she's a plate not a GF. Presumably there is a reason you've not promoted her already. If she is the sort of plate who is casual FWB and she openly talks about escapades like that & then won't with you then I'd surmise it's one of several likely scenarios:

1. She looks at you as a long term play & therefore doesn't want you to see her that way. In this scenario she'd be stupid to tell you about her other 3 some at all but women do stupid things all the time.

2. It may not be about the 3 some per se, but more about if she senses there is sexual attraction between you and her friend and doesn't want to worry if you like the friend better than the plate.

She may not want to compete against her friend. Things may have been weird between them after they banged the other dude together. Ask her about this.

3. She or the friend doesn't see you as attractive enough for that, although I doubt its that.

4. It was a 1 time novelty thing when they did it together before and that itch has been scratched.

5. You haven't set it up to happen properly.

Its one of those 5 I'm betting. Your job is to sort out which one & if its number 5, then you've got to set it up to happen by being a good facilitator who is prepared.

Here's the prickly part. Is having blow (for example) on you to set this up a good idea for you? Is associating with coke w h o r e s a good idea? I mean listen. The club or industry scene can be wild for sure, but you need to consider potential repercussions on you in a pragmatic way.

Believe me I know finance guys who are like "Ya know, in certain places you can have a great time for a thousand dollars" doing the hookers & blow thing.

But discretion is everything when your professional reputation matters. Tread carefully if you pursue 5., that's all I'm saying.

Ok. Off my soap box. Cheers

 

[Fruitbat]

take some drugs with her. As others have said. She will do it high.

I’ve only ever smashed escorts high, would never consider it sober but once i was snorting Charles it’s suddenly the best idea in the world.

Threesomes aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I tend to end up disappointed 2 women instead of one.

A LTR once ruined a relationship with this. I was on a business trip and I bought some random mags (this was years ago) and left them in my suitcase. They were just the only ones in those packs you get which are covered up so it’s like a lucky dip. They were all 2 guys one girl, something I have no interest in and find repulsive. No hate to guys who do. We all have our thing.

she found them and told me she was up for it. I explained that I have no interest in it and I literally looked past all of that to find the one or two one girl sections. She was super embarrassed and I could never look at her the same.

she basically told me she wanted another guy involved. Just put me off her sexually

 

[LTG71]

1). Girls do different things with different guys.
2) Girls do different things when drunk/high.

Women are mental. They’ll do random stuff with guys out of the blue. “I was drunk, he was cute. I let him blow my back out.“ This type of information never serves you.

My buddy used to say jokingly, “you know the difference between b!tches and hoes?”
“A hoe sleeps with everyone, a b!tch is a hoe that sleeps with everyone but you”.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Got this plate that I been off/on with for about 2 years. Things are usually pretty good between us, she comes over frequently, spends the night, etc... Took me a while to bag the kitty though, she was holding out for a while. Anyways, she has a friend of hers that I also know and am attracted to. I been trying to push for a 3some, but my plate refuses.

I found out through her friend that several months ago, the two of them got super drunk and on drugs one night with another guy and did the threesome. Now I feel irritated as I been wanting to push that for some time.

What yall think? Is this something usually worth pushing for or being mad about? Or let it go?

If it requires her to be under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, then it doesn't count for anything to be proud about.

 

[MatureDJ]

Women will do more stuff with the men they are more attracted to then they will with the men they are less attracted to, even if the latter is the husband.

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[Smok1nAce]

Your dating a wh0re. If the girl respected you she would have never even told you. Your the sucker.