Pissed off and confused

[BuccGuy]

Ok I have a lot of history with this woman so I'll try to condense it. I've worked with/known this married woman for 12 years and she really has a hold on me.
A few years ago we went out (gee and her hubbys ex-wife was there, I figured it was to make her hubby jealous) but I screwed up and got emotional and we 'broke up' as friends for a couple of years.
I made my peace with it and moved on. Now, about six months ago, she starts calling me again and we resume 'lunch dates'. I almost get her to come over to my apartment but I guess she got cold feet.
Then on one of our lunch dates she tells me she is divorcing her husband. Not wanting to miss out on her availability I make my move but wuss out again and tell her I like her. Hey here comes the LJBF speech!
I get pissed but after a day of that I figure thats too much hate to keep going so I let it go and resume to being friends with her.
Now she and I call and we have great chats, really fun and intimate. Awesome chats! But every time I suggest a 'friend date' she puts me off. She says that she isn't dating and that she will only meet someone that are friends first and then it turns into dating.
Now we're up to date on the story. She calls Fri nite and we have an amazing chat again but I cut it a bit short, saying I have to go out (I didn't).
So she brags that she has 'plans' soon and smiles. Grrr. I find out that she is going on a motorcycle ride with a dude she barely knows at work. WTF? She insists on driving to all of our lunch dates but then rides up into the mountains with this jerk?
How do I fight my way out of the friendship cage? Be easy on me, this is my first post here.

 

[griffon65]

Honestly? Shes not interested. She has alreadly marked you as a friend for too long. She's obsevered your presonality and knows what your about.

If you'd only known her for mabye a couple of weeks then you might have a real chance but as it stands right now, its pretty hopeless. Her rejecting you with the I have to go with a friend first and then going out with the motocycle guy is proof enough.

The best thing you can possible do is completly do a 180 on her and change your attitude. Be polite but distant at work. Dont pick up most of her calls or if you do say your out somewhere (even if your not) and tell her to call back. Make your conversations shorter. And pretend your dating other women. And if actually date other women and she sees it then it would be even better. Do all this and she might get back interest in you.

 

[BuccGuy]

I think thats good advice. It's just annoying that she keeps pushing and pulling me. After I got the LJBF speech I joined a matchmaking service and got a couple of dates. You should have seen her reaction when I told her I had a date with a doctor! lol
I think that spun her interest back around to me. She makes all sorts of eye contact and touches me often. We have sexy (PG-13) chats where she loves to talk about herself (AW?) and all of her skimpy clothes. Maybe I should make these chats a bit hotter?
She is recently divorced and wants to do stuff shes never done before. She told my friend that she is only wanting to go on a motorcycle ride, not really date the guy. Shes trying to keep it a secret so maybe it's more than that?
I guess I just wish that our relationship would go one way or the other and that she'd stop jacking me around. This chick is my kryptonite! LOL

 

[joekerr31]

umm, be a man.

tell her you aren't looking for friendship from her, but more. and that if shes not interested in pursuing that then you both need to take a break from each other.

honestly, when a KNOWS that she wants you, she doesn't play games like this.

Either she's looking for you to step up and be a man and take her (ie. make the decision for her) or she just likes knowing that someone out there wants her and she can have him any time she wants.

makes her feel good about herself when flirting with other guys.

its hard to admit that another human being would use someone for their own selfish egotistical purposes, but too often that is exactly the case.

if you asked a friend to go to a concert with you on Saturday and they said they can't. then you go to the concert and see them there with someone else, you'd think 'screw that guy. i dont need a ****er like that for a friend."

why are you letting her off when you wouldn't do so for anyone else.

J

 

[BuccGuy]

Ok then I'll proceed assuming that she wants me to step up.

Here my plan: The next time she calls me and we have our great sexy talks I'll tell her that I want to see her and that I'll be at a location in her town in 30min.

Good idea? I really do want to hook up with her, but if that fails I totally want to end the tests and teasing and move on.