Picking up a cliquey chick~

[Red07]

As I'm not actually in high school, I thought I'd also post in here to get some views off older, more experienced gents...

Okay I have a slight predicament.. but when solved, it'll benefit myself and many others in the same situation.

My problem is that I'm not attracted by white, latino, black etc girls as much as I am chinese/japanese/korean etc girls.

However the problem in this is that chinese/japanese etc kids tend to be quite cliquey in the fact that they hang around in their own groups and tend to stay in them groups.

I've made some aqquaintences and am keeping away from the friend zone with them.. But I want to know how to get invited out by them and how to approach them with questions such as "when are you guys out" without feeling like I'm intruding, as I'm white~

Just so you can offer me some valid help here are some vitals:
~I'm out-going and witty and have no problem approaching or talking to people I don't know
~ I enjoy far eastern culture, so it's not just a hollow attraction
~ I attend university (that's how I know/meet them)
~ I have to commute to uni, they don't making it hard to be invited out
~ I have things in common with them (such as the programs I watch)

If there's anymore you need to know, let me know.. b/c it's the start of the academic year.. and the earlier I get this sorted the more of the year I can enjoy

Thank you

 

[Red07]

upping this
=[

 

[michaelhctam]

I am East-Asian (Chinese to be precise).

And I can understand when you say asians can be abit cliquey- but its only because they think exactley the same as you, "If I join in these x activities I will be intruding", there is a very large culture gap between our societies and I guess that these girls just feel safe in their group- i'm sure you would stay with more of your kind in a foreign country.

Asian girls follow a different dynamic when it comes to relationships- but the first step i'd take is to show her you appreciate the culture.....because alot of Asian girls now are very aware of the white guy that has an Asian fetish...you know the types I am talking about.

 

[Red07]

haha yeah..

the me type xD

I've always had an interest in Japan, and that's led me to become semi-fluent
in Japanese and to learn a lot about the history, culture, ettique etc. And I fully understand that Japanese and Chinese culture is only similar to a limited extent..

So, what would you advise in particular to show that I appreciate the Chinese culture?

And how to not give off the kind of vibe that you highlighted?
I have a feeling it may have something to do with looking past the racial difference.

 

[michaelhctam]

haha yeah..

the me type xD

I've always had an interest in Japan, and that's led me to become semi-fluent
in Japanese and to learn a lot about the history, culture, ettique etc. And I fully understand that Japanese and Chinese culture is only similar to a limited extent..

So, what would you advise in particular to show that I appreciate the Chinese culture?

And how to not give off the kind of vibe that you highlighted?
I have a feeling it may have something to do with looking past the racial difference.

Haha, well the best way to not give off that 'vibe' is to NEVER mention anything remotely about race- always do activities or say things that is neutral in terms of culture- if she's been living in America (I assume this is the USA) for a significant amount of time then only do activities that you are both comfortable with- and only mention race, religion or anything to do with her being different if the situation arises or if she asks or the conversation leads to it. Or it will appear as if you are only liking her because she has 'long-elegant hair, exotic...' Blecchh!

Asian girls are more the lovey-dovey type (I could be wrong though, i'm not generalizing) and some aspects of Asian relationships can get AFC at times (frequent sayings of 'I love you', giving gifts all the time) that only really applies if she is a student from East-Asia or just recently moved here. Not so sure about the Westernized ones, most likely will be like their caucasian counter parts.

Sometimes Asian view other races as abit too loud or out-spoken so don't be the frat-boy beer guzzling white guy- instead be the sensible, quiet but confident guy- have a vibe of silient confident like, "I am not afraid".

But honestly, you sound like the creepy yellow fever asian fetishist white guy.....hrrm.

How much of Asian culture do you REALLY know? Asians are very protective of themselves their culture and their own people so if you do anything to hurt this girl- lets just say Asian guys will be quick on your tail. Nothing personal, but i've seen bad things happen to Asian fetishist's.

Asians stick together and support each other HEAVILY in foreign soil all the differences go away- dosent matter Japanese, Korean, Chinese- kind of like a brotherhood thing.

Well tell me more info about her, I feel like I am being abit vauge.

 

[Red07]

Well not asian as in general; my main point of interest for a lot of years has been Japan, and only recently have I became interested in China. ie, over the summer when I attended a few chinese lessons.

hmm as for the actual girls
There are two (types I've noticed) in particular.
One is more westernized and a lot more out going and energetic. Such as picking things up in shops; talking more; a lot more bouncy.
The other is more withdrawn, and as you said, probably not as used to my culture as the other one.
They also spoke to each other in cantonese a few times.

Fortunately, I'm not a beer-guzzling frat-boy... but I do agree that I'm probably giving off that creepy yellow fever fetishy thing. But, I don't over-contact them, and I also hang with the people in my groups quite a lot.

But to be honest, it's not just about the girls.. I find the chinese and korean girls and guys who I know, refreshing, and in someways more relaxing, to hang out with.

So I suppose this isnt just a question on how to get with Asian girls, but also how to get cool with the guys and chillax with them etc.
I guess I feel I have more in common, interests-wise etc, with them than people of my own race and age.

Hope any of that helped... and didnt sound ignorant :\

 

[Red07]

If there are any other advice-offers it'd be hugely appreciated!

 

[MooseGod]

I hear they have sideways... god i'm such an ******* :crackup:

 

[Red07]

hmmm kinda not what I was hoping for ^

=]