physical proximity issue with a girl.

[moduli]

Today I met a new girl. I really liked this one. Of course, I didn’t show it but lets not kid ourselves we all know that women can tell and read our microscopic facial expressions aka staring at their boobs Okay, just kidding. I wasn’t that obvious. Ghee. Seriously, she had a nice set and I want to play with those soon. This is where you guys come in…err… I mean help me. I don’t know how to escalate with a girl that physically shows no interest, backs up every time I make one step forward -- literally and figuratively she would step back!

Situ:

It was a good date. Lots of kino and lots of touching, many stories etc… but every time I step forwards she would make one step back. I make step forward, she steps back. It was ridiculous. I wanted to kiss her but it was no-go. No siree. Finally we parted with a hug. First, I thought that she didn’t like me, but then she tells me that we need to go out soon, very soon. No need to wait for the weekend she said. Lets go out after work. I guess its not a complete loss but it is hard for me to escalate when the girl backs up … I do not understand it. Next date will be our 3rd.

I need help escalating with a girl that gets lots of kino and likes me but steps back every time I try to move in a little closer. There is kino, lots of it, but there is also physical proximity issue that I can't overcome with her.

PS. Yes, I had a mint before, during and after. LOL That was not it.

 

[Jitterbug]

Hard to tell if she were being playful or really not digging you and just wanted to stay the hell away.

If it were the former, last time a girl did that to me, I picked her up and put her over my shoulder, telling her that this caveman is taking the hunt home. That was 5 minutes after I met her and I didn't even know her name at that point.

If she is shy and not just being coy, then you need to back up and stop being so physically desperate.

 

[moduli]

I will shorten my msg.

She is not shy. There was lots of kino. She asked to see me again and told me not to wait for the weekend so there must be some interest/attraction there.

How can I help this girl overcome her physical proximity issues or understand why she has those problems?

To the previous guy: I find it fascinating that you automatically assume how this is somehow my fault (e.i. I'm desperate) and then write a long and irrelevant anecdote about yourself (60% of your message).

 

[moduli]

Got a date setup for tonight. Will report how this goes. Any tips how to relax this girl?

 

[Kailex]

Tip #1: Relax yourself.

Tip #2: Stop trying so hard. She obviously likes you if she accepted to go out again.

Tip #3: Build up some rapport and confidence so that she feels comfortable and natural when it does happen.

Tip #4: If it doesn't happen, move on. Doesn't matter whether it's because she doesn't want to or you can't come through.

Tip #5: Relax. Just have fun.

 

[BigJimbo]

Quit scaring people! My God. Why are you attacking girls? People have their personal space and you seemingly want to invade it and make them feel awkward. You are lucky she didn't take out some mace and spray you in the face with it. Hell, I have heard that taser guns are all the rage for women these days. That would hurt.

Let her come to you. Time is your friend. Chill.

 

[moduli]

BigJimbo - I plan to conquer, invade, and squeeze myself in those "personal spaces", bro.
Kailex - Good advice. Thank you.

Any advice on building rapport, guys?

 

[Igetit!]

Today I met a new girl.

Umm...I'm a little confused here.

You said that "Today" you met a new girl. So by "today" I assume you meant the day you wrote this thread,date being Jan. 31. (yesterday).


Then a little later on in your thread,you spoke about how things went on your date with her.


So to make sure I'm clear on everything,you took this girl out on THE SAME DAY you met her???



Another thing:

It was a good date. Lots of kino and lots of touching, many stories etc… but every time I step forwards she would make one step back. I make step forward, she steps back. It was ridiculous. I wanted to kiss her but it was no-go. No siree. Finally we parted with a hug. First, I thought that she didn’t like me, but then she tells me that we need to go out soon, very soon. No need to wait for the weekend she said. Lets go out after work. I guess its not a complete loss but it is hard for me to escalate when the girl backs up … I do not understand it. Next date will be our 3rd.

You see the part I enlarged and enboldened?


Umm....how can that be? You just met this girl yesterday on Jan.31st.

Today is Feb.1,but you say that the next date you two go out on will be the THIRD date?


Did you meet her through speed dating or something? Because according to you,you two have had two dates in 24 HOURS.


If I'm mistaken,then straighten me out,but if the way I understandthings is correct,then you're problem is simple...


You're moving too fast.

I need help escalating with a girl that gets lots of kino and likes me but steps back every time I try to move in a little closer. There is kino, lots of it, but there is also physical proximity issue that I can't overcome with her.

So what do you mean by this? If you try to hold her hand,does she pull back,if you try to kiss her,does she turn her head,or what?


Personally I agree with Kailex. I'd follow everything he laid out.

 

[moduli]

Ah, yes. I copy/pasted some of that stuff and the timelines make no sense. We met at the U and went on two dates last week, our next date is tomorrow night. Tomorrow will be our 3rd date.

No hand holding, there was back massage, palm reading crap, we measured our hands and touched hands/back/neck a lot etc. When I (tried) to move in a little closer (at the end of the date) she backed a little. There was hug at the end. That's about it.

 

[moduli]

I have to admit that part of me just wants to grab this girl and make out with her tonight.

 

[Igetit!]

I have to admit that part of me just wants to grab this girl and make out with her tonight.

Yeah,but I'm sure you wanted that the first time you ever laid eyes on her,so I don't see what the point of you saying that now is.


Besides,if everything you've said is true so far,it's HIGHLY unlikely that's going to happen. This situation you're in is the WHOLE POINT of kino escalation. It's to test the waters to see how comfortable a girl is with being physical with you.


You talk about wanting to kiss her,but according to you,you haven't even held her hand yet.


There are some women who consider kissing to be more intimate than sex.

So if she won't even let you hold her hand,you think she's going to let you kiss her?



You need to start the escalation from the very first second you see her tonight. I'd start off with a hug,and you'd better hope she allows it because if not,that's a preety good sign how things are going to be for the rest of the date. Then right after the hug,give her a compliment....and NONE OF THAT,"You're beautiful" or "you're hot" nonsense either.


Say,"I LIKE the way you look in (whatever she's wearing). So are you going to turn around so I can get a better look at you?".


Both the hug and the compliment are minor. So if she feels uncomfortable or unwilling to permit even theses,then you've got an uphill battle on your hands,and seeing how this would be the THIRD date and she hasn't opened up yet,I'd probably just drop her.


Good luck man.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Why don't you start backing away from her so then she has to move closer to you?

 

[moduli]

I feel like its my job to escalate things. If you mean backing away from her see if she moves with me as a test of her interest then I get that. *That* is not a bad idea.

@ Igetit!

You are breaking my balls dude... and I LOOVE it.

I'll get back to ya guys later... lets see how this goes. My problem is that I like this girl.

 

[BigJimbo]

BigJimbo - I plan to conquer, invade, and squeeze myself in those "personal spaces", bro.
Kailex - Good advice. Thank you.

Any advice on building rapport, guys?

My God! You are pure man when you put it that way. No need for this site then. You go invade and conquer! I will sit back in total awe and respect. Go get'em Tiger!! Grrrrrrr.

 

[moduli]

@BigJimbo - I love you man. I know where you are. I've been there. What I said, I said on purpose. I knew how you would react. I wish you well.

 

[moduli]

Update: Closed the deal. Kissed. Had fun. Its on!

 

[Blood Angel]

Congrats!

 

[Igetit!]

Update: Closed the deal. Kissed. Had fun. Its on!

While that's all fine and dandy,you think you could elaborate a little more?

You two met up at the pre-arranged place,and then what happened?

You said hi,but did you greet her with a hug,kiss on the cheek,or what?

We know you two greeted each other,and we know that you two kissed,but there's a WHOLE GAP/OPEN SPACE inbetween those two events that you left out.


Care to fill us in?

 

[moduli]

I wish I could tell you a story of conquest. This girl liked me. I did not conquer anything. She wanted me. All I had to do was relax and pace her, open up, escalate slowly and wait until she was ready.

Timing is my new problem.

Last night was our 3rd date. We kissed. No making out because she doesn't like it in public. How long do I wait until I call her and ask her out?

How do I isolate a girl like this (who doesn't like it in public) without looking to desperate for her p*ssy? I'm thinking just to have fun and bring her with me, but at the same time I want to f!ck her in a timely manner.