Physical Contact on Dates?

[Fugitive]

Been on a few dates lately and having good success in initially attracting women and getting them to go out with me.

But I keep getting "you're really good-looking and a nice guy but there's no chemistry" line. I think its down to lack of physical contact.

But how do I touch a woman on a date without it seeming weird? If we're in a bar or restaurant like most people on a first date then how can you initiate physical contact without it seeming unnatural?

And is there anything else I can do to make someone feel sexual chemistry?

 

[custardpie]

You need to make it known that you are attracted to her, without kissing her arse. Are you kissing/hugging her when you first meet?

My usual routine is a kiss on the cheek upon first meet. Then wait until we're alone and stood next to eachother and extend my arm round the back of her neck and pull her in for a kiss once we've built up some rapport. After that it's all easy as you've set the frame between you two. You want to grab her arse, do it. Do what makes you feel good, without going overboard and making her feel like a slut while you're around other people...once you're alone go full caveman.

 

[grayclif]

Kino. Lots and lots of kino. Works every time.

 

[salinechow]

Straight up. If she is uncomfortable with you touching her. She will DEFINITELY make it known. Touch her up until that point.

Tips:

Just touch from the outside of the body inwards. Start with the outside upper arms.

Hands.Hands are always safe.

Hair. (brushing it and fixing it for her. ALWAYS look in her eyes when you do) Squint a little to "soften" your gaze. Half , warm smile.

Work your way inwards over the night. Timeline depends on how much time you have.

Start your way towards inwards with knees. Yep, thats right knees. You think thats not sexy? Think again. Why is it sexy? Cause no one ever touches knees! Its intimate because no one does it. Its safe because its a knee and, no one does it.

Work your way up. I always stroke with the backs of my fingers, up and down a girls upper thigh while im driving, talking with her and listening to music. Now, you DONT look at her much. Just do it on autopilot. Like its natural. Like your her Boyfriend for years. This can also be done in a booth at dinner, make sure no one sees and when the waiter approaches disengage. Girls like to fantasize and be touched. Most don't want others to see. ( Im talking 1-3 dates here)

If the time and vibe is right move your "massaging" strokes towards the inside thigh. Pinky finger first. Stroke by stoke getting more "inwards and higher" NEVER go to high! If you can get there, stay at least 2 inches lower than puzzy. For now. This whole thing is progressive, and, should feel natural for both of you.

Now, take it your hand away and go to under her hair, and gentle rub, scratch, under there, back of the neck area. Massage a little. Look, that sh!t feels good to ANY human being. Even if your face makes her want to vomit. She will love this.

Upper Back, Shoulders, Collar bone. Start rubbing her traps a little, massage like. Then Just press your palm against her back. gentle but firm. If she press back into it. IT FEELS GOOD. Massage, even if with one hand, firmly but gentle.

Collar bone: I save this for when im making out, grab her opposite shoulder of the hand youll use and press your forearm across her collarbones. Like you are saying the pledge but on her shoulder and with your other hand pull the small of her back towards you and press into her. Now, hold a bit, firm and gentle, and release. Switch that collar bone grab to a hip grab.

Any time a girl lets you touch the small of her back.....YOU ARE IN. Try it, on a girl that you DO NOT thinks digs you. She probably show a high level of discomfort. Its a very domineering place to touch someone.

Collar bones and upper outer neck area. Cont. This is pay dirt man. If you can very very slightly traces these areas with your fingers and back and forth up to the ears and back, tracing the lines of her neck, she is getting hot for you. Just be delicate in these areas and dont massage them. To sensitive. Bones and Arteries. Now let that tracing turn to a full palm slide towards her bra area. Under her shirt. BUT, do not go to low that she stops you! Circle back up before she can get uncomfortable. Youll touch those boobies later. Get that imagination going, the comfort rising, and her wanting LATER to happen.

OKAY. Now for the real advice.

Never touch a girl with less than TWO fingers. Its always safest when you start, to use the backs of your hands. Its never a grab, its never a poke, its gentle. Try it on yourself. Always, use as MUCH of your hand as is comfortable to contact her with. NEVER GRAB! Anything! unless of course you are humping her, meaning things are really really heating up.

MAKE LOVE. Im serious. Pretend you are making the sweetest most passionate, Hollywood love to her, in every touch you make. It oozes sex. Even if the touch is less than a sec long. You are painting a picture for her mind. It is a picasso of safety, passion, warmth, love, pleasure and confidence. Your fingers are a romance novel.
You can get weird with her later, when shes naked. This is all spelled out for 30 min into a first date to 3 dates in timeline. ( if it takes you that long.) Timeline. Balance. Frame. Confidance.

Speaking of...This is soooooo important. NEVER be hesitant!!!!!!!!!!!! When you go to touch! Again, if she doesn't want it, like it, she'll let you know ASAP. Even if she likes you alot, but shes not ready for that touch, she'll let you know. Wait. Try again. DO IT WITH CONFIDENCE.

Everything about a touch is a FEELING. Girls can tell with their eyes closed if you were FEELING it, or if you were TRYING it. Remeber its your JOB to do it, its hers to postpone you.

Forget about sex and outcomes here for a min. EVERY human being likes to be touched the right way. It feels wonderful. Actually, its a human NEED. You can in fact die( some) and definitly would go insane with out human touch. So, when you are out with a girl, touch her, she'll like that much more than dinner. Just never hesitate when you go for it.

Touch her, the way you would love it that some touched you in your prefect world. If you can apply your fantasy of touch to her, you'll be golden.

Last words.

There is a saying. "Someone will forget what you said, they will for get what you do, eventually, but they will never ever forget how you made them FEEL"

That's more applied to emotions. But, you can apply that to touch.

I was out the other night. I was hitting my vaporizer and coughed. I blew a little snots on the girl I was out with on a first date. She wiped her face. Your laughing a me, I know. I laughed too. She did not. 90 min later I was drinking from her box and laying her HARD. When I was done, she begged me to stay for 5 more mins and "trace her face with my hands while she feel asleep."

So...... Try and take my advice. TOUCH. When practiced, enjoyed( by you giving it) and perfected. You can be a god damn troll and spit on a girl by accident.....and still have her beg for you.

TOUCH HER. Well.

-Saline

 

[wifehunter]

...once you're alone go full caveman.

Some things are way too funny!!! Lol!!!

 

[old_skoolr]

Maybe you have no personality?

 

[Lozboss]

Kino. Lots and lots of kino. Works every time.

How is this helpful to OP?

What a waste of post.

 

[grayclif]

How is this helpful to OP?

What a waste of post.

@Lozboss. Yes many folks come here for help. But there is a difference between helping and spoonfeeding. A simple search on "kino" would reveal more than I can explain in a few sentences. True enlightenment does not occur when given the answer but rather when it is actively sought.

 

[spiegel549]

You need to practice this until it becomes natural and there is no thought behind it. The second I pick up a chick to go on the date I start with the Kino. You need to LEAD the night. Make a joke and lightly tap her arm. Compliment her hair (I love chicks with long azz hair) and touch the back of her hair acting as if you are checking to see how long it is etc. While we are walking to where ever it is we are going throw your arm around her OR one of my favorites is if your crossing the street grab her hand and lead the way. Chicks love that you aren't afraid to LEAD.

If your not use to doing so, you need to start. As time goes on, it will be second nature.

Also if a chick is into you, she will encourage you touching her (appropriately of course) and sometimes the other way haha

 

[RangerMIke]

Every woman is different, there is no canned answer for what to do. But keep in mind women always know what you are thinking. So maintain eye contact and imagine you are fvcking her, she will pick up on this and if you do this right you will get an immediate response... you will know if you need to back off or move forward.... if she gives you the green light, make her work for it... don't start touching her... let her touch you first... mirror what she does, then go just a little farther. She touches you on your arm, then go ahead and touch her there as well, then maybe her hand. If she reciprocates, then touch her lower back. etc. etc....

The only real constant is patience and self-control... if you do this right then you will put out the vib that you want her for sex.... but you're not sure she is right for you... do this right and if she likes you, she will make it pretty clear what she wants from you.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I would suggest you if you are not familiari with the procedure, to being with touches that can be considered casual or unwilling.

Tell her that the neck of her shirt is bent and you will set it while moving your hands toward it and see how she reacts, if she answer with a "nevermind let it be" and distance herself annoyed, it means she is uncomfortable while if she turns around and show you her neck and letting you fix its a green light.

When you begin with physical contact always start with low profile body parts like hands, grab her hand and look at her ring and playfuly asks if she is married, if she lets you grab her hand, is relax and smiles its a green light again to move to more sensitive parts.

If she instinctively withdraw her hands even before understadning whats going on, again its a no-go.

Once you are sure she is receptive you can start my putting your arms around her shoulder if sitting or around her waist if walking, personally I have an other routine but I did this stuff so many times that I can literally come up with a new one time by time.

With experience ( both success and rejections) you will be able to tell what has to be done without even thinking, you social intelligence will work subconsciously.

 

[stevo]

It just means you haven't at any point that night made her panties tingle.

Many things can make the panties tingle without you touching them.

Your confidence, being at ease, happy, laugh, the way you smell, the way you walk, interact with other people (servers/hosts/bartenders), the way you dress. All of these make her ready to be touched before you actually touch her.

When you first meet, have a smile on your face, go for a 4-5 seconds hug.

On a first date, take her to a bowling bar. Drink first, chat for a sec then go bowl and keep drinking. High fives, corky jokes, easy access to stare at the ass and all that. Way better than your average bar meet.

Set yourself up for success.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Still working on this myself.

If she touches you first, you have the green light. Until then, follow the advice of the more elder members. Oh, and always try to kiss her on each date. Even if you get rejected, you won't become an orbiter if you can make your intent known.

 

[salinechow]

It just means you haven't at any point that night made her panties tingle.

Many things can make the panties tingle without you touching them.

Your confidence, being at ease, happy, laugh, the way you smell, the way you walk, interact with other people (servers/hosts/bartenders), the way you dress. All of these make her ready to be touched before you actually touch her.

When you first meet, have a smile on your face, go for a 4-5 seconds hug.

On a first date, take her to a bowling bar. Drink first, chat for a sec then go bowl and keep drinking. High fives, corky jokes, easy access to stare at the ass and all that. Way better than your average bar meet.

Set yourself up for success.

Love the idea for a second date. Not a huge fan of the chumy high fives though. Id pinch her ass at let her tell me not to, so then I can do it again, as a friend. ;-)