Physical attraction- what would it be like without genetics?

[sambwoy]

Looks threads frequently pop up on this and sites I have previously visited- physical attraction is important- but the root of it is genes and in our blood.
Guys complain they can't get girls, preferably it seems, 'hot' ones, but the problem is most women, whatever their level of what's considered attractive, prefer hot guys.
If we didn't have these genes, what would it be like? Would it erase these physical attraction issues and appreciation of beauty in society that causes all these problems?.
What if a guy had very little to offer. Would life be easier for them, and could end up dating the most shallow/picky women to which he ticks none of their boxes?

Could the 'dork' get the 'hot' girl...for a change?

 

[nismo-4]

Yes, if he's rich.

Money can make the ugliest man in the world attractive to the best looking women.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Nismo that's an interesting point. Does money truly make the men 'attractive' in that some women experience a physical, visceral attraction for guys who they know to be rich. Or is it more of a clinical and calculated decision on their part, because they are willing to do what it takes to access the rich guy's wealth?

 

[floydb25]

Not a big fan of "what if's", but I'm sure something else would take its place. It's not just looks that shallow people care about anyway... There's also status, money, style, the crowd one belongs to, vehicles, material possessions, etc.

There's only a certain type of hot girl that most guys keep failing with... The shallow ones who only date those they deem high class. Usually the skanks, and stuck up, high maintenance ones. Not all hot girls are like that. They just aren't as noticeable because they aren't as in-your-face as the loud, skanky ones are. Word.

 

[rhcp83]

There's only a certain type of hot girl that most guys keep failing with... The shallow ones who only date those they deem high class. Usually the skanks, and stuck up, high maintenance ones. Not all hot girls are like that. They just aren't as noticeable because they aren't as in-your-face as the loud, skanky ones are. Word.

Agree 100 percent with this, but how does one avoid falling for the shallow/skanky/stuck up/high maintenance ones?

I was dating a girl that would easily rate an 8 to anyone on here but she wasn't one of the non-high maintenance ones. She didn't care much for fashion (but didn't dress like a scrub either) didn't think she was the sh*t and was very modest etc...you figure I'd be happy as hell...but I still fantasized and wanted a "sexier" (i e stuck up skanky) hot girl.

I'd like to think that men are smarter than the way some women can be with their dating decisions since we don't act on emotion, but I still to this day can't help but wonder what it's like to get a high maintenance type in bed.

 

[ArcBound]

Looks threads frequently pop up on this and sites I have previously visited- physical attraction is important- but the root of it is genes and in our blood.
Guys complain they can't get girls, preferably it seems, 'hot' ones, but the problem is most women, whatever their level of what's considered attractive, prefer hot guys.
If we didn't have these genes, what would it be like? Would it erase these physical attraction issues and appreciation of beauty in society that causes all these problems?.
What if a guy had very little to offer. Would life be easier for them, and could end up dating the most shallow/picky women to which he ticks none of their boxes?

Could the 'dork' get the 'hot' girl...for a change?

No, people will still like whatever the standard of beauty is at the moment. Look at what constitutes art, we can see what is beautiful in a painting or picture or even decorations and it may have nothing to do with living things or genes at all.

Look at a car like this: http://offthewallposters.com/data/m...nton_Roadster_2010_1600x1200_wallpaper_04.jpg
Now that's a car most people will think looks fvckin awesome and most people will make fun of you if you have a sh!tty honda civic. The point is both are cars, completely inanimate objects yet we still can love and appreciate's one's beauty over another.

Humans appreciate beauty in things so even if there were no genes to pass on to kids (how would a system like that even work anyways?) there would still be a standard of beauty. It might be a little bit more subjective but it would certainly exist.

 

[PapiChulo]

Yeah, it depends on our peers and what we think is attractive as the cultural product. In the next century, fat short chicks might be the future hotties. It's social rather than genetic, and has always been. If you put a bunch people on a deserted island you will see how these beauty standards are gonna change comparing to civil life. The baddest (rugged) guy is gonna be the 'pretiest', and the most fertile woman- the sexiest. A load of cash in today's life is the equivalent of that prowess, and the most perfect and desirable forms of a woman in accord with modern tastes are the signal of fertility, simply because many men want to copulate with this type of female even though she may not be very fertile at all ( small hips, low body fat). That is the reason money and social power trumps all unless it is the looks that earn you that money. Other than this, you are biologically predisposed to like women who can push a baby after a baby, e.i. stout fat chicks with baby faces. Lol

 

[sambwoy]

It's natural to think women have 'dream dates' like men do based on looks- they immediately see a guy like this and are like 'I'd do him'. The truth is, yes, even in the tangible, not virtual, reality, girls are like this.

I put off trying to be intimate with one for years. I have my doubts when I go out in the world.

 

[floydb25]

Agree 100 percent with this, but how does one avoid falling for the shallow/skanky/stuck up/high maintenance ones?

I was dating a girl that would easily rate an 8 to anyone on here but she wasn't one of the non-high maintenance ones. She didn't care much for fashion (but didn't dress like a scrub either) didn't think she was the sh*t and was very modest etc...you figure I'd be happy as hell...but I still fantasized and wanted a "sexier" (i e stuck up skanky) hot girl.

I'd like to think that men are smarter than the way some women can be with their dating decisions since we don't act on emotion, but I still to this day can't help but wonder what it's like to get a high maintenance type in bed.

You're attracted to what you're attracted to. However, there usually comes a time where you finally realize that what you're attracted to isn't what's best for you. Unfortunately, it takes learning this the hard way to finally realize it. It's not until people get burned badly, step away, and look at things logically that they come to terms with this. It usually requires being mature enough to make the right decisions, and know what's going on. Not confusing infatuation with love, realizing that having your emotions on fire isn't healthy, etc.

That doesn't mean you're not attracted to them anymore - you just know not to get involved in them. You know exactly how to spot them; what their traits are, etc... You know they're no good for you, and its not worth it. It's really no different than the girl who gets burned by the exciting bad boys - then chooses the nice guy, and still fantasizes' about the bad boys. We do the same thing with skanks.

The point someone else made about peers is very true. I remember getting rejected by girls... Then, when they told their friends - their friends rejected me also. They'd say I'm not that good looking, etc. But, when they saw that a lot of other girls wanted to date me - suddenly, they did too. Now, I was "hot" to them.

Peers definitely have a great influence over most people's choices. If all these people like something - they do too. Everyone follows the crowd, and wants to "fit in". They also ask ALL of their friends what they think - then base a lot of decisions that way. Unfortunately, they do this with their guy friends who also want to get with them, and will sabotage those intentions. Or, their friends who don't want to be alone while they're off dating.

 

[rhcp83]

The thing is, I don't want to date the skanks...just fantasize about having an emotionless one night stand with one of them.

I'm considering just paying for it via an escort. The skanky kinds like someone said want certain guys and I've never been even checked out by a girl that type (I've dated/got the attention of attractive women that aren't that type)...so that tells me even though I just want them for a hook-up, I'm not on their radar. It's biology at work. I'm considering just paying for a champange room with a skanky chick or an escort or something just to get the fantasy over with. (It's not for validation or ego boost, but wanting to do/fool around with someone THAT hot with no emotions involved.)

 

[floydb25]

Ah, so you want it because you can't have it. That's why a lot of us try to get involved with skanks. They're definitely have the challenge aspect down - because they don't really care about anybody.

It's true that they go after a certain type... They are attracted to what they are. I always attracted skanks because of the way I look, dress and talk, but once they realize you're a good person, they tend to lose interest. Even if you have the look - if that's not who you really are - it won't last very long. Which is understandable, because you are in no way compatible with them unless you're a complete douche bag. That's who they go after.

 

[rhcp83]

Ah, so you want it because you can't have it. That's why a lot of us try to get involved with skanks. They're definitely have the challenge aspect down - because they don't really care about anybody.

It's true that they go after a certain type... They are attracted to what they are. I always attracted skanks because of the way I look, dress and talk, but once they realize you're a good person, they tend to lose interest. Even if you have the look - if that's not who you really are - it won't last very long. Which is understandable, because you are in no way compatible with them unless you're a complete douche bag. That's who they go after.

Very interesting insight. It's not just the challenge aspect though, that's definitely part of it, it's also that I want to just experience sex with one of them because of the visual/attraction aspect.

I've heard similar things from guys who've attracted the interest of skanks...that as soon as they discover you're a good person (not a "nice guy" in the AFC sense, but a good person) they want nothing to do with you.

They probably see me and immediately think (even though I'm somewhat attractive...tall/in shape/not an ugly face etc.) that I'm a "good guy" and not a challenge...despite the fact that I'm not scrawny/don't dress bad etc. .

Like I said, it's more so the visual/attraction than the challenge for me. It seems as if the women I notice with the best bodies are the skank types. I can think of women I've noticed that I "liked" or women that I've dated in the past who had very nice faces but didn't have the playboy like body and raw sex appeal of the skank.

It seems God wastes the best bodies on the skanks lol. I've seen women with both the good girl/pretty face and the skank body but it's rare.

 

[floydb25]

Yep... They don't just like the bad boy look - they like bad people. But, that's because they are the same way. Someone with a foul mouth, disrespect towards others, a shallow lifestyle, and random sex affairs is obviously not a good person. It's a deeply troubled one. Most skanks are horribly insecure and have low self-esteem. They specifically seek out jerks, and treat nice people like garbage.

I also thought about God's hands in all of this before. So we know life is a test; choosing between good and bad; and all these things. So maybe he's punishing us for giving into temptation. There's a quote in the Bible about lust, but I won't get into that.

Finding a good skank is a waste of time. That's basically looking for someone perfect, or the diamond in the rough. An old co-worker once said to me, after realizing what I was doing: "You're gonna be single for the rest of your life... You're looking for someone perfect, and you're never gonna find it." Others would say similar things: "looking for love in all the wrong places; these girls are trouble; you need to change the kind of women you're going after". Of course, like a dumbass, I heeded none of their advice, and kept getting burned.

You basically have to be a jerk and act rough to attract them. They use insults to flirt; are extremely ****y; want to "****"; be dominated; etc. If that's not you - its a waste of time. Trying to change them - like my save-a-ho having ass - is even worse. You should be grateful that you never attracted them. It's a blessing, really. These girls are nuts.

 

[gaspipe]

It just goes to the notion that like attracts like. I never really believed the saying that opposites attract. I believe that the opposite is true.

The skanky hood rat from the projects quite obviously will gravitate towards and be more attracted to the rough gangsta drug dealing street thug than to a well educated doctor, lawyer or other professional no matter how good looking, nicely dressed and rich he is.

 

[rhcp83]

Could part of my skank obsession have to do with the fact that I've never been burned by one or see how one operates first-hand? Yeah, I KNOW they're no good, but have never been disrespected by one (other than being laughed at from afar and not taken seriously by them or completely ignored altogether.)

Either way, I'm looking to get past it. I understand the way the male hormones work (we want "sexy" women...attraction isn't logical etc.)...but to me, there should be nothing wrong with a hot girl that actually is a good person and likes you for you. I mean, to me, the fact that it has turned me off sexually that the girls I've dated were "good people" and prevented me from having lust for them makes me not much better than the skanks.

The good news is, my raw sex drive has been down since June due to anti-depressants I'm on for other reasons, and I've been able to look at the situation for what it is. Before June, I was bitter and mad that I wasn't getting sex, in particular from the skanks.

This is a very interesting thread btw. A good deviation from the normal "What line do I throw at her next?" threads or "I banged a girl off POF."

 

[floydb25]

Could be, yes. You don't know what its like, so you want to see for yourself. I'd also wager that your unhappiness and boredom plays a role. You want some drama and excitement that the good girls aren't giving to you. But this goes beyond just dating. You could just be unhappy in general, and are looking for others to make you that way. Could also be some low self-esteem; pining for, and seeking the approval of those who don't want you; feeling undeserving of those who do; wanting to have the trophy girl to show off with, and feel worthy.

This is all just a guess based on what you said, of course. I could be wrong.

Certainly, everyone likes what is bad for them. We love what we hate, and can't stop thinking about it. Then you also have the excitement of the unknown; the curiosity aspect; wanting what you can't have; being the hero who saves the damsel in distress; and so forth. It's not uncommon at all to be attracted to bad people.

As for how they're treating you right now... It's a LOT different once you get involved with them. That's why some of us get tangled up with them. They don't come off as being full-blown jerks. That happens after they manipulate you into gaining all the control. Then, the monster comes out.

But, there are still warning signs that shouldn't be taken lightly. Being laughed at, ignored, rejected with some kind of disrespect... This is all a minor taste of things to come. Nice people don't act this way. This is as nice as theyll ever be. All the insults, anger, bitterness, insecurity, blaming, criticism, vulgar language... That's all going to be directed towards YOU once they get comfortable. You have to get to know them first, however. All you see is from a distance - you don't know what they're really like. Maybe thinking "they're NOT that bad". Anyway, theyll blame you for how they're acting, and before you know it - you're sucked right into their abusive web. Doesn't take very long at all - especially if you are easy to manipulate and control.

Yeah, you can say you only want them for sex, but you don't know how these people operate. They are highly manipulative and cunning; most of them are great actors. They'll come off like they're good girls in hiding; act all nice; play the victim; get you to fall for their sweetness; gain your trust - then BOOM, pull a 180. You'll be wondering what the hell just happened; where the nice person went; what role you played; maybe making up excuses for them; trying to bring the nice person that never existed back; sympathizing with them; viewing them as afraid and misunderstood... This is how people end up in abusive relationships with bad people. They fall for the good person that never existed, and try to bring that person back - thinking it was really them. They can't be THAT bad; all those good times you had...

Again, you can SAY that won't happen, but then you go right back to the point where attraction isn't logical. You don't know until you're actually in that situation. Everyone says, "oh yeah, that will NEVER happen to me". Nobody expects it to, but it still happens... All the time.

You end up stuck, because your emotions will be all over the place, and won't have any idea what's going on. It's very hard to think clearly when you're being mind-****ed. Trust me - these people also attention *****, ****-tease, lie, manipulate, control. It's usually not as simple as **** and leave. You never know who you're going to fall for. A lot of times, its the bad ones. It just happens.

The main thing to realize is that bad is bad. It will always be bad. Bad people are trouble. Unless that's what you're looking for - stay very clear from them.

 

[rhcp83]

I had my skank moment today, albeit online, where I learned my lesson. On pof, I don't take things too seriously...just joke around, I don't insult or threaten or take it to the next level, but I have been known to bust girls chops if they think they're all that.

I wish I could show you guys (you in particular floyd) this girl's profile but I can't take the chance. (Actually I will copy the text later on.) Anyway I messaged her once, thinking with my ****, then quickly realized she was an attention *****/skank. Like you said...I'm bored...so I messaged her a couple other times.

I get a message from her today saying basically if I send one more message (keep in mind this was my first time messaging her in over two weeks) that she will call her uncle who's a state cop and find out all my info and I'll have cops knocking on my door, then says "Don't even reply to this, stalker."

This is her profile (To give you an idea of what she looks like...blonde...b*tchy/hot type face...perfect body...lots of tattoos...lip piercings...attention wh0re type pics...yet online seemingly all the time.)

Ok so a little update. I am REAL, Don't tell me my profile is fake.. Don't send me messages call me names like "skank", "Slut" or any other choice phrases just because I don't respond. First off, I'm a really nice girl, and I Will not take any disrespect from any one on here. If you choose to be rude, the block button comes in handy, and I'm NOT afraid to use it.

I am looking for someone, something special, I don't know what, but I'm hoping that I find it here or somewhere soon, just like a lot of you. We all have certain things we want, desire, and like in a person. You all may not be what I am looking for. It doesn't mean you're not a good person, or beautiful in some way, shape or form. There's someone out there for all of us. Don't get mad at me, when it's law of attraction, and you all are doing the same exact thing. I've had this a few weeks, and honestly all of you men who have given me attitude, disrespect, or are just plain impatient, are getting on my nerves. I don't sit on here all day, Currently I have 800 unread message..not including what I've read. Just because I don't respond, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Maybe you're just not my type, maybe I just haven't gotten back, either way. Please contain some sort of dignity. Don't ACT like animals. Maybe you dating issues lie in how disrespectful you are. I am absolutely appalled at some of the things said to me. YOU DONT KNOW ME DONT ACT LIKE YOU DO, and if you would like the OPPORTUNITY to, then don't think an angry message will get you ANYWHERE but on my block list. Furthermore, I really don't want messages saying how "hot" "sexy" or other sent to me. Thats awesome if you think so, but if i wanted to hear that, I'd go down the street to the local bar. I don't care for the pick up lines. Send me something witty, original, or a simple "hey whats up" check out my profile. I can't believe I NEED to add this to my profile. but the amount of messages I have gotten from full grown men that made my mouth drop... And I'm just not one of those girls that tolerates bull****, from you or anyone! So send it to someone else.

PS: my side tattoos are Butterflies, not Whales..lol weirdos. And I have a butterfly on my hip, a moon behind my ear, and and anchor on my wrist. yes i want more. and NO, I won't take my piercings out for you, I will take them out for me and me only. No they didn't hurt they felt ****ing amazing.




Anyway, what I realized from this is, these women are trouble. Sure this is an online girl, but I can only imagine, if you weren't a douchebag and were talking to this type of girl (even if she gave you a chance if you passed her looks test) the type of sh*t you'd be in like you said Floyd.

How does this even happen though? I mean how does a girl get to this point where she thinks she's this important to the world? That's what I don't get. Because especially with a girl like this that goes to bars and clubs...there are girls just as hot or hotter there.

But anyway...I suppose what I SHOULD be focusing on is finding ways to be more sexually attracted to the women I really like and am attracted to anyway and are good people and nice to me. For whatever reason, if a girl has what I consider a really good face, and she's a good person, it has the inverse effect sexually. Maybe like you said the perceived lack of a challenge.

(And btw in my super AFC days I actually have stalked women online...sent them numerous messages, begging them for dates practically...this girl here is just an attention ***** thinking she's more important than she is. But I can't take the chance anyway and fire back at her.)

 

[floydb25]

Nice... Perfect example right there. These people turn out this way because of what they go through in life. So, as you can see, this girl is very angry, bitter, high maintenance, conceited, stuck up. But yet, still claims to be a nice girl.

This is why you don't listen to what they claim, and take their side... You pay attention to who they ARE. This is the perfect example of that. She claims to be nice - literally as she's being a stuck up *****. She's even showing it to you.

Another reason its hard to identify these types is that they don't view themselves as bad. Nobody does. Even if they are - they still won't see it that way. Their perspective of being nice girl victims is a lot different than the reality of them being stuck up *****es. They just don't see it that way, and never will.

This is also why you don't wear your heart on a sleeve, and all these things. You can't think clearly or see things for how they really are if you have your head up in the clouds. You must always pay attention to the facts, and believe nothing they claim. You will find that the two NEVER add up.

I don't think the details of why they are this way is as important as the fact that they ARE this way. Knowing why someone is bad doesn't change the fact that they ARE bad. Nobody is born bad; there is always a reason. It doesn't matter - only the facts do. Otherwise you're just going to end up sympathizing with them, over-analyzing them... Probably getting pissed off about it in the process. Just pay them no minds... Just accept that this is who they are, it doesn't matter why. Bad people get on your nerves, and under your skin. Just shrug it off; don't let them get to you; or make YOU become the same way. This is usually how it happens.

 

[sambwoy]

Could be, yes. You don't know what its like, so you want to see for yourself. I'd also wager that your unhappiness and boredom plays a role. You want some drama and excitement that the good girls aren't giving to you. But this goes beyond just dating. You could just be unhappy in general, and are looking for others to make you that way. Could also be some low self-esteem; pining for, and seeking the approval of those who don't want you; feeling undeserving of those who do; wanting to have the trophy girl to show off with, and feel worthy.

This is all just a guess based on what you said, of course. I could be wrong.

Certainly, everyone likes what is bad for them. We love what we hate, and can't stop thinking about it. Then you also have the excitement of the unknown; the curiosity aspect; wanting what you can't have; being the hero who saves the damsel in distress; and so forth. It's not uncommon at all to be attracted to bad people.

Perhaps we all want things they can't have, and bemoan their lives when they can't, which will be on most occasions. At my age (24) I am getting increasingly tired and bored of the world, and my uncertainty is affecting everything, not helped by virtually no track record with women. I'm not even in 'the game'. It this a quarter-life crisis?