Phone Calling Problem

[kizza]

This is sooo annoying. I'm talking to this girl on MSN and doing the whole C+F etc and its working GREAT. I phone her up and suddenly the whole C+F vanishes and I turn into boring, nice AFC who tells my life story to the girl.

What is wrong with this? Why cant I just relax and C+F over the phone!

Any tips on how to improve?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop using IM as much. It's good to get their initial interest but use it too much and it becomes a crutch.

 

[kizza]

I agree I should use it less heh. But now I'm faced with the problem that it may seem as though I have two diff personalities lol! One on phone, one on IM (and yes I am going to meet her and who knows there could be 3 personalities.)

Any tips on how to break free and just let myself go on the phone and be relaxed? Thanks.

 

[ryannath]

Yes, talk on the phone naked. You should feel free and probably will talk more sexual and not be an AFC.

 

[kizza]

haha thats hilarious.... but it just might work

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree I should use it less heh. But now I'm faced with the problem that it may seem as though I have two diff personalities lol! One on phone, one on IM (and yes I am going to meet her and who knows there could be 3 personalities.)

Any tips on how to break free and just let myself go on the phone and be relaxed? Thanks.

Before we go into a LOOOONG thread about using the phone, how well do you do when you're face to face with a woman?

 

[kizza]

Tbh I should've posted this in the high school forum - coz practically very little experience on that. I go to a boys school, thats the problem!

 

[Raikojo17]

Tbh I should've posted this in the high school forum - coz practically very little experience on that. I go to a boys school, thats the problem!

hey man, so do I. but i dont let that be my excuse, u just have to make an effort to get out and talk to girls because you dont see them everday.. it some what even works to an advantage, because you have more options of girls to choose from, instead of just sticking to girls in close poximity.

but about the phone, i would suggest not talking to her on the interent nearly as much as you do on the phne. once you got the number, that should be pretty much the only way you talk to her, besides in person. because like one said, after a while IM becomes a crutch, because on there you have time to plan what you want to say. verbally, you dont.

just be relaxed, and dont take wat you say to seriously. this will help you be more calm and cool on the phone. dont sit and try to think of what to say, just say it. im sure you do it on IM. just do it on the phone.

 

[kizza]

hmm ur right, i do try and think of stuff to say on the phone before calling etc - it normally ends up failing or i dont say it. and on IM it just flows out lol! ill try and cut down on internet talkin 2 her.

i been trying some 'distancing' from her and just showing that im not desperate, i think ill just explain the story to see your opinions.

basically she thinks i jus constantly talk 2 girls on msn (or so she implies). also i have important exams on at school at the moment (dont start havin a go at me for puttin the girl before the exams - it aint gna happen). anyway i was tellin her how i need to cut down on people i talk to on msn and she is near the top of the 'ditching list' - as a joke. it worked interestingly. she was trying to move down a position and it was definitely something which made me think (don't go telling me i'm mean for playin games or somethin now). anyway the fact that she put up resistance probably means something good for me

i wonder what you guys think of this idea of 'ranking' the girls. i think i remember reading about a similar technique where you tell a girl her smile is nice, the 4th best in the room (or some number) and its interesting to see the reaction. thats a bit vague but hopefully someone will get me.

anyway thats just what i tried earlier and just an idea. i'll take your advice and try to use the phone more in general, thanks.

 

[Abbott]

I suppose you could simply stop using instant messages altogether. I almost never use it anymore. Hmm...maybe I should update my sig., since I very rarely use it now, but I digress.

Try doing what I do: For people I meet in real life, I try to arrange face-to-face meetings whenever possible. The only other forms of communication I'll use with those people is the mail or phone calls. If I talk on the phone, I try to keep the conversation short, since I frankly don't enjoy talking on the phone for long periods of time. I also don't text message. Only pre-teen girls do that. I'm a man in my 20s, and no one, as far as I know, uses text messages regularly.

I have e-mail, but I don't like to use it for people I've actually met face-to-face. I primarily use it for notifications from web sites, or people who want to contact me from message boards like this one. I figure that a computer shouldn't be necessary to maintain contact with people in real life.

Ben

 

[JPFromTally]

You're talking too long. Phone calls should be kept under 15 minutes TOPS.

 

[Abbott]

You're talking too long. Phone calls should be kept under 15 minutes TOPS.

While you're at it, use the time to arrange a face-to-face meeting.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Tbh I should've posted this in the high school forum - coz practically very little experience on that. I go to a boys school, thats the problem!

Seems like it's working...

 

[kizza]

Some success with this now! Before I used to think of everything to say and get myself worked up about phoning etc. Today I just put some music on, didn't think about it, dialled the number and it went great!

I used some great C+F and the convo wasn't too long. Thanks for the help.