Persues me, Makes out with me, but then Flakes on me?

Jaylan

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Excuse the length, if its TL;DR skip to the last paragraph or two. Thanks

So im still relatively new to pick up but i have been reading a lot of stuff with the main purpose of working on my inner game. Im 24 and have been in love twice in my life and those relationships crashed and burned badly so i definitely have needed to work on myself. Also i have hit a point in my life where i wanna just meet a lot of girls. While i do lurk various forums, the bulk of the stuff i read and use is from fastseduction and david deangelo. And i dont spend a dime.

Now to the task at hand. The girl im interested in now is someone from art summer course on campus. Im 24 going on 25 and she is 20 going on 21...if age will help anyone reading this. When i first started the course two weeks ago i scanned the room and was def attracted to this chick right away. But for some reason whenever i saw her walking around i assumed she wouldnt be interested in talking to me. And let me be honest...my insecurity made me think that. But im progressing past that, and moved my focus onto this chick after getting the LJBF treatment from my hookup of the last few weeks.

So last week i noticed the girl from class added me on fb. Which surprised me since we had never even smiled at each other or anything before...so we exchanged greeting comments and then spoke on chat over the weekend. While we spoke she seemed to hint at wanting to chill sometime and mentioned that she liked hiking. So i said that we should def do that sometime and then before the convo was done she outright asked me if i wanted to hike in the mountains near campus after our next class. So i said cool. She seemed to be a go getter but i know i should learn to be more assertive myself. Esp considering whenever a girl chases me and doesn’t let me do the chasing, I tend to get less interested, even in this case.

So we got breakfast after class and then walked around the mountains/park for a couple hours and just talked and chilled, getting to know each other and what not. Then she asked me if i wanted to go with her to her friend’s house which was a few towns over because she had to help her friend move a chair out of her apt. Her friend is moving out soon and we ended up moving more than just a chair...which she apologized for...but i said i didnt care. I knew I had nothing to do all day because we live in the middle of boring suburbia and everyone’s gone home for the summer.

So we got that done around 8 and then we stopped at her place and ending up decided wed drink and chill out and play some nintendo 64 haha. I met her roommates etc Let me just mention that i had been using kino, flirting, and teasing during the day and things seemed cool. Anyways it was getting dark and she mentioned her friend was coming by and wanted to chill as well since he was leaving for colombia(the country) ina couple days. She went on to complain about how hes always been into her but she doesnt see him that way and that he mooches and is unmotivated. She flat out called him unattractive but nonetheless a friend despite his apparent feelings. She made it a point to tell me hed be sleeping on the couch since he was staying over after he made the long drive up to chill.

So he came by and was a chill dude but i obviously felt this tension because he had to know something was up with her and i. I mean we had witty banter going, teasing, play fighting, and tickling going on all day so I was letting things progress themselves. So at one point i needed to charge my phone and she asked him to check his car to see if his charger matched mine and while he was gone she leaned in and kissed me. And throughout the night whenever he left whatever room we were in, her and i would make out. And a few times when we kissed and id pull her into me suggestively she would always back up a bit and go “not yet, I just met you”. But trust me she was enjoying herself and initiated half the time.

Anyways i ended up leaving at around 2 am and she expressed interest in hanging out to study the next day but i made plans with my housemates and said id get back to her. So I was with her from 1pm in the afternoon until 2am. She was very chill so it just happened i guess.

So the next day she calls me to study but I was busy finishing things I had to do around town. Then I got home later than I said I would so when I called her she had to meet her gal pal. I called her a few minutes after that convo just to ask her if she wanted to go to the mountains and hike again today (Wednesday) and she said she was going with her chick friend but ask me if Id wanna come. So I said sure.

However she called me this afternoon and said shed call me in a half hour to let me know she was in town so we could carpool into the park, but that call never came. And I was a bit pissed because we had definite plans and had spoke about it in class and then on the phone after that. So for her to not call me back at all I felt was very weird. So I thought to write this and ask what you guys would do. Why make out with me all night one night, then make it sound like youd def like to chill again, but then flake?

I normally write off someone who disrespects me by flaking and not even calling to cancel…but then ive read some dudes say use the two strike rule, or some guys say that girls do this even when they like you. So im very confused. I do feel disrespected though, as if she couldnt give a flip about what I would think or that she doesnt care that I could have made plans to do other stuff given how hot, humid, and boring this area is during the week.
 
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ARrocket

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I'm interested to see what the more experienced guys think but I'll take a quick stab at this...

I think you're worrying a bit too much. Yeah it's kinda rude of her not to call, but girls are dumb like that. IMO I don't think you should take it as a sign of low interest necessarily, but rather a sign that her IL isn't so high that you can be lax in your game.

Ease up a little. It's good that you weren't overly available, but then when scheduling conflicts came up, you got a bit needy I think.

But don't worry, just sit back, wait a few days before suggesting anything else. Try to escalate further, and see what happens.

And hopefully you have other girls so you're not obsessing over this one too much!
 

oneboy21

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Take a few steps back and wait for her to contact you.
She took you to her house, only to show you to the other guy(piss him off). She is happy because she got what she wants.
 

Jaylan

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^^ What does IL mean? I have search the forum and other places with PUA acronym dictionaries and havent found anything.

oneboy21 said:
Take a few steps back and wait for her to contact you.
She took you to her house, only to show you to the other guy(piss him off). She is happy because she got what she wants.
I will say I am skeptical that nothing happened with them, despite her saying hed sleep on the couch. Just seems odd to have a guy over that you may be into when youre having your "nice guy whos always been in love with you" friend over. Not to mention she even tried to kiss me at one point right in front of him and I didnt wanna deal with the potential drama so I backed off.

I just am confused at the need to piss off some guy she said shes never been interested in. Fishy to me
 

Jaylan

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Any super experienced posters wanna take a crack? Would be super helpful
 

Jaylan

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So I just talked to her today after having not talked for 2 weeks to get to the bottom of this.

She was mad because she felt I disrespected her that first night we hung out. She said "i dont like when guys try to feel me up right away" My jaw dropped. Because shes the one who brought me to her house and put the moves on me. And I have never had a girl complain from me putting my body into theirs and sliding my hands above and below their hips.

I mean come the **** on. I really dont get that crap. And she seemed pretty mad too, like she even tried to not tell me what was bothering her at first. Mind you the making out came after her little story of how one time she was drunk and made out with 6 people in one night and then slept with one of those girls she kissed.

Jeez, women.
 

NewAndImproved

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Jaylan said:
She said "i dont like when guys try to feel me up right away" My jaw dropped. Because shes the one who brought me to her house and put the moves on me. And I have never had a girl complain from me putting my body into theirs and sliding my hands above and below their hips.
That's because she's lying.

I've been in this situation before. When the girl essentially "seduces" you. She controlled everything--WHEN you met. What you DID when you met. How long you stayed. The Kino. Everything.

In truth, she was too aggressive, not you. As a guy, you should've been the one picking up on those IOIs and arranging a date when you were available (rather than immediately agreeing when she picked the next day), deciding what to do on that date etc...

For all you know, she brought you over to make her guy friend (possible ex), jealous. At the very least, it created drama, no?

Next time, control the frame. Control the date.
 

Hakuna

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Anytime you find yourself posting about one specific girl on this forum who you're NOT banging, you've already failed in half the battle. Unless she's out there posting about you on girl forums, you've just pedastalized her and made yourself more prone to over-analyzing situations.

Girls are compelled by otherworldly forces to ****-test and throw hurdles at guys they are interested in. It allows them to easily weed out desperate betas.

A make-out means nothing in this day and age besides a temporary spike in attraction. Unless you're consistently banging a girl, you have no guarantee of a comfortable margin for attraction.

In respect to this current situation, I would say you have to maintain an abundance mentality. Girls want guys who are wanted by other girls, so keep your options open. And follow the 2:3 rule, for every 3 times she plans a date, only plan 2. Your goal is to cultivate attraction at first, and then sit back to create challenge. Without the first part, there's no spark to create attraction. Without the second part, there's no space for it to grow.
 

Jaylan

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NewAndImproved said:
That's because she's lying.

I've been in this situation before. When the girl essentially "seduces" you. She controlled everything--WHEN you met. What you DID when you met. How long you stayed. The Kino. Everything.

In truth, she was too aggressive, not you. As a guy, you should've been the one picking up on those IOIs and arranging a date when you were available (rather than immediately agreeing when she picked the next day), deciding what to do on that date etc...

For all you know, she brought you over to make her guy friend (possible ex), jealous. At the very least, it created drama, no?

Next time, control the frame. Control the date.
Yes she controlled it because I was not that into it at first. I was seeing if she could win my favor when we initially hung out. I almost declined her invite to chill in the mountains when she first asked. I am VERY picky. Almost to a fault at times. And i will admit her being too forward instead of letting me become interested and lead, turned me off a bit at first.

And yeah I dunno why she would bring me over to make her AFC "friend whos been into me, but Ive never liked him that way" jealous. But hell, girls do plays games and twist the truth or leave it out. And they love to create drama.

But at the end of the day I have to blame myself. Because the same way women like jerks and *******s, I seem to be drawn to *****es and drama gals. I see the flags clear as day and ignore them. As soon as she mentioned her guy friend stopping by I shoulda bailed for the night. O wells.


Dude Im talking to other chicks and been hanging out with other gals. But why can I not talk to other guys about the silliness I find in some of my engagements with females.

I know theres other girls to talk to. And I have an abundance mentality. I am not trying to get with this broad still, I merely wanted to update the situation. And the only reason I spoke with her is because I dont like to be disrespected and wanted to get to the bottom of it since we have class together anyways.

But I was very very surprised. Hahaha her reason literally had me walking away from her car laughing at how silly girls are. And how glad I have the mentality that I can do better than such bs. Because trust me other dudes would still chase such a situation because shes def a looker. I just told her my perspective and am gonna go my way. At least I know the deal now


Hakuna said:
Anytime you find yourself posting about one specific girl on this forum who you're NOT banging, you've already failed in half the battle. Unless she's out there posting about you on girl forums, you've just pedastalized her and made yourself more prone to over-analyzing situations.

Girls are compelled by otherworldly forces to ****-test and throw hurdles at guys they are interested in. It allows them to easily weed out desperate betas.

A make-out means nothing in this day and age besides a temporary spike in attraction. Unless you're consistently banging a girl, you have no guarantee of a comfortable margin for attraction.

In respect to this current situation, I would say you have to maintain an abundance mentality. Girls want guys who are wanted by other girls, so keep your options open. And follow the 2:3 rule, for every 3 times she plans a date, only plan 2. Your goal is to cultivate attraction at first, and then sit back to create challenge. Without the first part, there's no spark to create attraction. Without the second part, there's no space for it to grow.
Dude Im talking to other chicks and been hanging out with other gals. But why can I not talk to other guys about the silliness I find in some of my engagements with females.

I know theres other girls to talk to. And I have an abundance mentality. I am not trying to get with this broad still, I merely wanted to update the situation. And the only reason I spoke with her is because I dont like to be disrespected and wanted to get to the bottom of it since we have class together anyways.

But I was very very surprised. Hahaha her reason literally had me walking away from her car laughing at how silly girls are. And how glad I have the mentality that I can do better than such bs. Because trust me other dudes would still chase such a situation because shes def a looker. I just told her my perspective and am gonna go my way. At least I know the deal now
 
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