When a boy, guy, or man first finds SoSuave, it's like a "holy grail." A community of guys sharing ideas, concepts, and knowledge, complete with a bible and seemingly knowledgable participants who 'might' be able to change your present, and future. The feeling is like that of first owning a new car. The new smell. The new potential. Just the newness is exhilarating. Anytime we come to believe we have found what will yield our biggest dreams, we are this excited.
And yet, over time, guy's feelings or respect for the 'potential' fades and wanes. They begin feeling neutral about SS, then they begin feeling negative, finding more and more confirmations of 'the degradation of SS' from one level to the next, like levels of hades.
But is this the truth?
Alas, it is not.
When you're a newbie, you're mindset is focused on one thing gobbling up ALL the knowledge you can. It's like possessing the ark of the covenant, or the Spear of Destiny, thinking you can control the world, and forsaking your eternal soul, you're granted temporary bliss. But this last only but so long, and the more veteran posters MIGHT miss the big lesson they never first saw, or many lessons shall I say.
In many cases, guys who announce leaving do so without announcing why, or being proud of ever having participated. They give off a vibe of negativity without recognizing what they learned, or leaving before they learned what they came to do.
A person's initial contact with SS is 99% about women. That's at least how it happens in the search engine, or a referral brings you here. However, 'why' you stay might be a different reason. Let me sight a few reason perhaps missed by those here, or yet to be understood by those considering 'leaving.'
*************
Focus
When you first arrive, your focus is on learning everything as fast as possible. You're like a laser of conscious thought. You can't be stopped...that is until you're stuck, or perhaps are stymied in your progress toward your individual goal. Your 'game' may advance to the intermediate stages because you're armed with the 'best' tactics that thousands of guys apply everyday, but in many cases you remain the same. And that is the rub.
Focus, boys, focus. Your focus, like the Law of Attraction, brought SS into your life at the precise point you were ready for it AND needed it. And that focus will be one of your BIGGEST assets in life, but you may not realize it, and therefore the power is dormant or never used ever again. Sad really. Focus on any one thing will enable you to progress faster, more efficient, and more powerfully than anything you know of. Diversification is a diffusion of power. Focus is a laser. Sun shown through a magnifying glass can start fires and burn ants, or roast humans. Sun shining on the planet offers a tan and the growth of plants. Look around you. The focus of animals on the few, but powerful tasks they conduct is what makes them powerful and efficient. Ants focus, as they get to their goal by going over, around, or through whatever it is they have to.
Quieting the Mind
Knowing the information posted is different than using it. You might recognize an AFC making moves, but you might also remain an AFC. Anyone can 'fake' it, until they're forced to make it. But many guys MISS the complete point of what's here. At first you don't notice it, you're too busy with your own mess and improving that. But as you become more comfortable with the material and the workload, and you gain confidence with the other guys, your perception grows and you begin absorbing other peoples' words, good or bad.
Those who complain about the degradation of the site miss lesson number 2, which for SS is only a micro version of the macro world, and that is, the whole world is noise. You can't react to every little thought that comes through your mind, be it thunder from a storm, guys complaining about women (because that used to be you), male chauvinists, feminists, liberals, conservatives, or anything else. The attention you pay it rattles your focus, and attracts negativity, instead of positivity.
Be the rock, upon which the wave breaks. Don't be the pebble which floats and drifts with the current. Control your mind, quiet thoughts that are not your's, that are not generated by you, and that are not directed and focused in the direction you want them to go. If anything lesson 1 and lesson 2 ARE huge lessons in your overall progress as a man from a boy. And if you leave here on terms such as not wanting to deal with weak guys, then you haven't learned either, and you aren't any better off, though you might be egotistical enough to think so.
Remember, you once were that guy, but a few guys learned lessons 1 and 2, and stayed the course providing information that enabled you to grow and mature, somewhat. However, it takes more than a nice 'bible', and a few follow-up posts to become a man. And becoming a man, or a more well-rounded man doesn't occur in bars, in beds with women, or online, it happens with yourself. With your own set of trials and tribulations, by being an objective observer of your own life and gaining control of it, while weaning yourself off the emotional teat of other's.
Students Become Teachers
The last lesson you learn, as those who leave, realize or don't, is that the students must become the teachers. Vets can't remain forever, though from time to time they do or will pop in. Vets have to leave so the students can leave their shadows, but you cannot 'graduate' until the previous lessons are learned. If guys didn't, then those who have potential would remain trapped, or would fail to put themselves on the line, and fail to ascend to the next level; a level required of all.
At some point, one must 'disconnect', one must gain control, and one must move on. And this is a perfectly natural process. Much value still exists in the AE boards, and from time to time to connect with people you might not otherwise have met, but at some point we concede the thrown, the boards, to the new rulers, ready or not to rule. To offer balanced counsel to a new crop of people, who may stay, or may not stay.
The journey is never smooth, but it must be undertaken. And as any person can see who's remained awhile, great guys come along seeking to genuinely help other's, making themselves available while attaining no compensation or renumeration, save the fact of helping or aiding someone else in what this person already learned.
*****************
The purpose of coming here is to learn that you DO NOT need any dating advice. Whatever you need comes from within, not without. The quiet confidence exists, and it will attract whatever it is you desire, regardless of religious denomination.
Good luck All.
A-Unit
And yet, over time, guy's feelings or respect for the 'potential' fades and wanes. They begin feeling neutral about SS, then they begin feeling negative, finding more and more confirmations of 'the degradation of SS' from one level to the next, like levels of hades.
But is this the truth?
Alas, it is not.
When you're a newbie, you're mindset is focused on one thing gobbling up ALL the knowledge you can. It's like possessing the ark of the covenant, or the Spear of Destiny, thinking you can control the world, and forsaking your eternal soul, you're granted temporary bliss. But this last only but so long, and the more veteran posters MIGHT miss the big lesson they never first saw, or many lessons shall I say.
In many cases, guys who announce leaving do so without announcing why, or being proud of ever having participated. They give off a vibe of negativity without recognizing what they learned, or leaving before they learned what they came to do.
A person's initial contact with SS is 99% about women. That's at least how it happens in the search engine, or a referral brings you here. However, 'why' you stay might be a different reason. Let me sight a few reason perhaps missed by those here, or yet to be understood by those considering 'leaving.'
*************
Focus
When you first arrive, your focus is on learning everything as fast as possible. You're like a laser of conscious thought. You can't be stopped...that is until you're stuck, or perhaps are stymied in your progress toward your individual goal. Your 'game' may advance to the intermediate stages because you're armed with the 'best' tactics that thousands of guys apply everyday, but in many cases you remain the same. And that is the rub.
Focus, boys, focus. Your focus, like the Law of Attraction, brought SS into your life at the precise point you were ready for it AND needed it. And that focus will be one of your BIGGEST assets in life, but you may not realize it, and therefore the power is dormant or never used ever again. Sad really. Focus on any one thing will enable you to progress faster, more efficient, and more powerfully than anything you know of. Diversification is a diffusion of power. Focus is a laser. Sun shown through a magnifying glass can start fires and burn ants, or roast humans. Sun shining on the planet offers a tan and the growth of plants. Look around you. The focus of animals on the few, but powerful tasks they conduct is what makes them powerful and efficient. Ants focus, as they get to their goal by going over, around, or through whatever it is they have to.
Quieting the Mind
Knowing the information posted is different than using it. You might recognize an AFC making moves, but you might also remain an AFC. Anyone can 'fake' it, until they're forced to make it. But many guys MISS the complete point of what's here. At first you don't notice it, you're too busy with your own mess and improving that. But as you become more comfortable with the material and the workload, and you gain confidence with the other guys, your perception grows and you begin absorbing other peoples' words, good or bad.
Those who complain about the degradation of the site miss lesson number 2, which for SS is only a micro version of the macro world, and that is, the whole world is noise. You can't react to every little thought that comes through your mind, be it thunder from a storm, guys complaining about women (because that used to be you), male chauvinists, feminists, liberals, conservatives, or anything else. The attention you pay it rattles your focus, and attracts negativity, instead of positivity.
Be the rock, upon which the wave breaks. Don't be the pebble which floats and drifts with the current. Control your mind, quiet thoughts that are not your's, that are not generated by you, and that are not directed and focused in the direction you want them to go. If anything lesson 1 and lesson 2 ARE huge lessons in your overall progress as a man from a boy. And if you leave here on terms such as not wanting to deal with weak guys, then you haven't learned either, and you aren't any better off, though you might be egotistical enough to think so.
Remember, you once were that guy, but a few guys learned lessons 1 and 2, and stayed the course providing information that enabled you to grow and mature, somewhat. However, it takes more than a nice 'bible', and a few follow-up posts to become a man. And becoming a man, or a more well-rounded man doesn't occur in bars, in beds with women, or online, it happens with yourself. With your own set of trials and tribulations, by being an objective observer of your own life and gaining control of it, while weaning yourself off the emotional teat of other's.
Students Become Teachers
The last lesson you learn, as those who leave, realize or don't, is that the students must become the teachers. Vets can't remain forever, though from time to time they do or will pop in. Vets have to leave so the students can leave their shadows, but you cannot 'graduate' until the previous lessons are learned. If guys didn't, then those who have potential would remain trapped, or would fail to put themselves on the line, and fail to ascend to the next level; a level required of all.
At some point, one must 'disconnect', one must gain control, and one must move on. And this is a perfectly natural process. Much value still exists in the AE boards, and from time to time to connect with people you might not otherwise have met, but at some point we concede the thrown, the boards, to the new rulers, ready or not to rule. To offer balanced counsel to a new crop of people, who may stay, or may not stay.
The journey is never smooth, but it must be undertaken. And as any person can see who's remained awhile, great guys come along seeking to genuinely help other's, making themselves available while attaining no compensation or renumeration, save the fact of helping or aiding someone else in what this person already learned.
*****************
The purpose of coming here is to learn that you DO NOT need any dating advice. Whatever you need comes from within, not without. The quiet confidence exists, and it will attract whatever it is you desire, regardless of religious denomination.
Good luck All.
A-Unit
