Personal Revelation

[DanelMadr]

I think there is definite truth in the fact that we all have demons in our minds that we are fighting...I think this is a universal thing, and maybe only small handfulls of individuals have found true ways to temper those demons...

I always try and shift my mind towards the the opposite during experiences such as that...IE, if my mind starts to go dark I try to imagine the counter-opposite of the same situation...sometimes that helps bring back in balance and keeps me from going too far towards the dark.

I am neither religious nor super-spiritual much these days; I am more interested in pragmatic effective ways of being. Zen is appealing in a pragmatic sense through the notions of detaching and staying in the present...viewing things as part of a greater whole...these things are beneficial to my psyche.

But at the end of the day nobody has this Reality completely figured out. We are all learning through trial and error and discussion and experimentation.

I agree that in a lot of ways the inner AFC is a result of fear or failure or lack of personal self-esteem and self-respect. It is because we can see our own greatest flaws and faults, and we are afraid when another sees them too we will be rejected and be back alone again. These fears are reasonable in some ways as we all have insecurities, this is all humans not just men; but we have to not let these insecurities be our master...

I know its a really *lame* analogy, but we rented the Green Lantern last week out of one of those blockbuster DVD rental machines....the message in that movie I thought to be relevant:

Strengthen your will and your resistance to fear. Fear itself becomes a powerful and snowballing emotion. Whereas to strengthen your will means you are pulling and extracting what you desire out of the world...this takes great practice and constant work just like the weightlifter pushes against the weight or the climber pushes against gravity...

To strengthen the mind is a constant process...life long as someone denoted..and probably the best way is by challenging ourselves in every moment that we can...when the mind slips to a weaker state, re-engage it and force the strength back into it...visualize the opposite of whatever it is that you are dragging yourself down with...

and despite that we all have insecurities and faults, we don't have to let these be the sum of ourselves, nor the most accurate representation of ourselves....we have the right to our own errors as human beings and our own hypocrisies and mistakes....nothing on this planet is perfect...we needn't be...simply we must not put full stock in our weakest aspects...put our stock instead in our greatest strengths..

If you wanna see a terrific movie on this note, rent The Revolver by Guy Ritchie. The whole movie is about tackling the ego.

I believe Buddha spoke about ending the suffering by ending the desire. At first I thought the desire is important because it works as motivator pushing me forward, however later I realized it brings more harm than good. Not succumbing to desires does not mean not to advance. Some think it will make you go monk...meditating all day long. No, no...those who do it actually have the greatest desire...not to have desire, LOL.

Getting rid of ego and it's byproducts and food like fear, anger, jealousy, self pity, pride, greed can't be achieved by fighting it. Demons of your own vanish once you smile at them like they were snotty little kids. And actually they are, because they were born when we were kids and our mind created them as primitive defense mechanism - to be the way we thought others will like us more. And they lived and fed on their own. Some grew stronger, some demons wait in shadows. But we don't need them anymore if we ever needed them. We are big now. We can survive on our own. And not having any demons actually help us being authentic, honest people...and people will respond to us better. Not that we need them to. Now we are supposed to respond to other people. To respect them, love them.

 

[backbreaker]

great post man.


that's pretty much it. It's not so much about showing her whose boss or even game. I'm going to do me lol. You either like it or you don't. if you like it great, if you don't bye. But i'm not going to not be me to impress a girl.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Well I have been away for awhile and re-read this post...I wish things were this simple. Sometimes it is very hard not to care for someone...sometimes the attitude of "who cares" is the absolute worst, because nothing worth having or worth achieving can be gotten there by a 'who cares' attitude.

I don't know about half the stuff I've posted if there's any accuracy here. Sometimes I think the key to life is finding what you most passionately care about above all else.

It certainly is damn hard being a young male, looking for companionship in a world of bump and grind and disposable. Frustration ensues, hope disappears, nobody should really be alone in life.

Good luck to all whom are looking for certain things.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Disagree about Alpha, though I suppose it depends on one's definition of the word. To me, Alpha means living your life how you want, being the man you want to be, projecting that assuredness and confidence that innately comes from being self-actualized and happy with yourself.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

How are you ever truly living the exact life you want to be? Sh~t takes time...sometimes we are victorious...sometimes we fall from victory...life will not always go as you plan nor will it always unfold as you desire...if a woman only loves you as such everyone will be disappointed...

We should all try and be whom we want to be...I agree...we don't want to feel not ourselves...like we are "not" actualizing ourselves...I hear you man..

I'm just saying I wish **** was always that simple. I'm only 27 and I've had many different paths already...times I felt certain about things...and times I could never have predicted...

 

[betheman]

Well I have been away for awhile and re-read this post...I wish things were this simple. Sometimes it is very hard not to care for someone...sometimes the attitude of "who cares" is the absolute worst, because nothing worth having or worth achieving can be gotten there by a 'who cares' attitude.

I don't know about half the stuff I've posted if there's any accuracy here. Sometimes I think the key to life is finding what you most passionately care about above all else.

It certainly is damn hard being a young male, looking for companionship in a world of bump and grind and disposable. Frustration ensues, hope disappears, nobody should really be alone in life.

Good luck to all whom are looking for certain things.

Im a good bit older than you, the conflict in your post is trying to achieve that which you are passionate about and adopting a who cares attitude, the two cannot be reconciled because if you are passionate about something = you care about it!

thats said, I am now fully of the opinion that your goals, aspirations, sense of worth, have to take priority. I am at that point in my life, ive had the marriage, a good one really although it still ended, got the kids and came through it ok.
women, will ever ever be one of my goals or aspirations ever again, they are a dissapointment overall and overrated. once I accepted this, and it took some time, my mind settled. its surprising how much energy, mental, emotional physical and financial energy, we as men put into women to varying degrees. ultimately, you will be let down by such an investment, there are worthier causes, self is one of them.

what I have just posted may come over as narcissitic, its not really. I just came to realise that as a man, like so many others, we often sacrifice part of ourselves, we arent very good at looking after ourselves mentaly and emotionally, when this happens, we 'need' someone else to do that ...a woman! we dont, the answers are inside us all, for people like me, life has to be lived, and go through the pain, the happiness, the doubt, the troughs...to come to this point, I can reflect on life and what has been and what is important. Women no longer are, I havent had sex in months, Ive had a couple of opportunities and one of them laid it on a plate, I decided it wasnt for me because it meant sacrificing part of me that Im no longer prepared to give, my time, the effort, the fact someone else would demand a degree of control over me...no thanks.
Im Rambling now, but I am free to do so, my life is now a blank canvas

 

[Die Hard]

Buddha... You keep running your mind over the same questions and problems time and time again for YEARS now! Yet, each and every one of your questions and problems has been adressed plentifully on SoSuave!

There remains only one conclusion: You don't WANT to see the answers. You're too weak to face the reality that's being laid out before you and I'm sure that you wil remain the same even if you spend a HUNDRED years on SoSuave. It makes me sad, man

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Buddha... You keep running your mind over the same questions and problems time and time again for YEARS now! Yet, each and every one of your questions and problems has been adressed plentifully on SoSuave!

There remains only one conclusion: You don't WANT to see the answers. You're too weak to face the reality that's being laid out before you and I'm sure that you wil remain the same even if you spend a HUNDRED years on SoSuave. It makes me sad, man

Die_Hard,

You make me sad because you're obnoxious and negative as hell. If I ever was to listen to you, I'd be dealing with deep psycological issues regarding my mother...do you remember half of your rants and half-assed theories? I don't want what you want nor do I find you to be much more than a negative and draining presence. Next time you see a thread by myself just click somewhere else man--you're a big boy and a pro DJ so it shouldn't be much of a challenge for you...I remember you once telling me to see the entire world as how it Only relates to you...the mose egocentric view I've ever heard...it might make you sad and confused to know, Die_Hard, that the bulk sum of the universe is composed of others. To myself, you just sound like a college boy whose never grown up.

Jitterbug I appreciate your perspectives. I went out last night and caught some live music...trying to pull myself from a bit of self-isolation.

 

[Die Hard]

Sure, start attacking the messenger instead of dealing with the message...

By the way, I advice you nothing else than the teachings of SoSuave. So good attempt at discrediting me, but you're really just discrediting SoSuave and all its great members who paved the way for you. Yet you are too much of a pusssy to use their wisdom and keep sticking to your AFC ways and ideas instead.

You and your whining deserve to be mocked. Coz no matter how much me or other members on here explain things to you in a calm and intelligent way, you just keep ignoring it all.

You say you don't want what I want? Sorry to dissapoint you, but I want EXACTLY what you want... you and I strive for the exact same thing. The difference is I am willing to do what it takes in order to achieve it. And you are not... You WANT to reach the same goals as I, but you DONT WANT to travel the necessary path to reach your goals.

Yet, you keep whining about it all! Boohoo, it's all so tough and I don't know what to do or what to think. You just keep going in circles in your head and keep sabotaging yourself. This saddens me.

It's all very simple. If you want to achieve your goals, then walk the DJ path and put in the hard work that's necessary to reach those goals. But if you are not willing to walk the DJ path and put in the hard work, then you have to accept that you will never reach your goals and just be done with it. But then don't keep whining about how badly you want to reach your goals!!

Some dude on here has this signature saying something like: "Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better".This is exactly your problem...

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Sure, start attacking the messenger instead of dealing with the message...

By the way, I advice you nothing else than the teachings of SoSuave. So good attempt at discrediting me, but you're really just discrediting SoSuave and all its great members who paved the way for you. Yet you are too much of a pusssy to use their wisdom and keep sticking to your AFC ways and ideas instead.

You and your whining deserve to be mocked. Coz no matter how much me or other members on here explain things to you in a calm and intelligent way, you just keep ignoring it all.

You say you don't want what I want? Sorry to dissapoint you, but I want EXACTLY what you want... you and I strive for the exact same thing. The difference is I am willing to do what it takes in order to achieve it. And you are not... You WANT to reach the same goals as I, but you DONT WANT to travel the necessary path to reach your goals.

Yet, you keep whining about it all! Boohoo, it's all so tough and I don't know what to do or what to think. You just keep going in circles in your head and keep sabotaging yourself. This saddens me.

It's all very simple. If you want to achieve your goals, then walk the DJ path and put in the hard work that's necessary to reach those goals. But if you are not willing to walk the DJ path and put in the hard work, then you have to accept that you will never reach your goals and just be done with it. But then don't keep whining about how badly you want to reach your goals!!

Some dude on here has this signature saying something like: "Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better".This is exactly your problem...

Die_Hard, you are an idiot and a moron. Why do you keep writing?

 

[Die Hard]

Why do you keep ignoring my message?

Classic defense mechanism: throw around ad hominems at your discussion partner in order to avoid the real topic of discussion... Obviously, you are afraid to enter a serious discussion here, coz you might hear some undeniable truths that you can't handle... Ignorance, is bliss huh?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Die_Hard,

Your "success" is what I percieve as weakness--you truly are, from what I've read of you (a) dealing with complex family issues (b) struggle to love yourself (c) treat others abrasively and coldly and (d) view the world selfishly and egotistically. This is why I don't like you. And you come in and drag down my threads with your "quit whining go bang chicks" attitude.

Many people here I've learned from. This is just between me and you.

I remember once writing about an old couple at the hot springs and you said, "they're losers". Dude, YOU are the loser in your hollow and shallow nature. You don't have to look at people and see their failures and weaknesses. It's pretty clear you have many obvious ones yourself. But you practice no patience or understanding with people -- you're swift to criticize without much help or motivation beyond "you suck, be better!" when you fail to really understand the situation or anything at all. You've never met me--I might scare you if I did, the ways you've been talking.

Your methods of success by planting flags is not what I'm after. Your values to me are shallow and poor. I have no connection with you.

I remember you posting some gay pics of yourself af one point .. You and some girlfriend maybe? I could dig these up -- or the countless other lines of bull**** that has come out of your mouth. I imagine soon you'll be responding with some more trash, because of your fixation and male-love for me, you can't seem to stay out of my threads.

Die_Hard, you suck bro. And you're face is gay .

 

[Buddha_Mind]

PS-why don't you PM me, and I'll give you my phone number and we can talk this out like Big Boys rather than some public internet forum.

 

[Die Hard]

I love you too, man... Especially your threats of violence, ROARRR!!

Anyway, more ad hominems and deflections of real discussion, I see... Do you really fear the truth that much?! But in between all the hate talk, you did show a small sign of willingness to enter discussion, though! So I'll give it a shot...

Your methods of success by planting flags is not what I'm after.

1. Please define "success"
2. Please define "planting flags"
4. Please explain what you ARE after.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I love you too, man... Especially your threats of violence, ROARRR!!

Anyway, more ad hominems and deflections of real discussion, I see... Do you really fear the truth that much?! But in between all the hate talk, you did show a small sign of willingness to enter discussion, though! So I'll give it a shot...



1. Please define "success"
2. Please define "planting flags"
4. Please explain what you ARE after.

If you want to have a meaningful or real conversation about these issues, I've PM'd you and I'd be willing to talk with you on the phone and have a real civil conversation. Hit me back and let's talk. I would be willing to speak with you. If you truly want to "help" then let's have a real discussion.

 

[Die Hard]

I must decline. I find this board a more appropriate and adequate medium for having a meaningful conversation.

Put aside your pride, you got nothing to prove to anyone on here. An open conversation on this board is the perfect setting to find truth. Many minds are gathered here, self deception or flawed logic will be easier exposed.

I remain convinced that a big part of you is hesitant to find out 'how deep the rabbithole goes' and this is your number one obstacle.

You must step over this obstacle SOMETIME, but I fear the day will never come... You've been on different journeys through life and I'd say your arrival on SoSuave initiated a new journey for you. But you never fully committed to this journey. Everytime you start walking, after a few miles you say "I'll take this journey some other time, today is not the day..." and start walking back home.

That's fukking weak, man. Don't blame me for pointing that out... Rather do something about it! But don't keep coming on here and whine about things, coz you are your own biggest problem.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

You are a little boy Never Hard (whoops I meant Die Hard). Tiny balls you must have.

Don't you know rabbit holes rarely end little boy?

A big boy has big talk. You'd rather sit behind your glowing screen..so brave and strong you are Master DJ, if we could all just be like you.

Do you know how to be a big boy?

I thought JUST maybe you'd be willing to talk something real.

You're a joke.

 

[Die Hard]

I see... Still preferring the way of the coward and fleeing the truth.

Go do it somewhere else then. This place is aimed at people who want to make progress. I hope the other members won't waste their time on you anymore, from now on. Coz you are a lost case, that's for sure...

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I see... Still preferring the way of the coward and fleeing the truth.

Go do it somewhere else then. This place is aimed at people who want to make progress. I hope the other members won't waste their time on you anymore, from now on. Coz you are a lost case, that's for sure...

//violence and aggression directed to Die Hard.

 

[Serg897]

Buddha_Mind, Im kinda surprised. You've always seemed like such a calm rational individual - Im not sure why you are letting this troll get to you so much. Just let it be. We are all on this journey together and dealing with the same sh!t, Die Hard is no different.

You are reacting like an unconscious, self-absorbed person who has his ego bruised. If you let some random @sshole on the internet affect you in this way, how do you think you are going to remain calm, collected, centered in the face of life's other challenges? Live up to your username and what you wrote on this thread - relax.