Personal Demons

[spam]

What if your ugly in the face? In addition to that what if u have a very narrow frame and are thus very small, despite having muscles and work out hard? By that I mean, very narrow shoulders (smaller than chicks), a messed up chest, very thin bones, and are short 5’7.

These are my demons. And they do affect me. Sometimes badly. At the worst of times, it causes me a lot of anxiety / insecurity and once led to depression.

Any suggestions? Maybe how to accept this stuff?
If your gonna post bs, then get fukd, because this is serious

 

[Hitman10000]

Fu*ck you. You registered here in 2004 and you haven't contributed jack sh*t to the discussion forum and you expect us to bow down to you. Go lick my as*hole d*ckhead.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, the first thing to do would be to read the DJ bible, which you probably already know, and join a bootcamp.

If you think your case is worst than mine then I invite you to read the JEDI bootcamp thread and go up to today's date. I think I'm one of the worst possible scenerio cases on this board and if you think your case is worst than mine then I doubt it. However, I'm trying, i'm going to the gym, trying to improve my career, making moves on female friends, and approaching new people.

So, honestly join or start a bootcamp, go to the gym, and start approaching girls. Seriously, read my bootcamp - and you'll be encouraged by my resolve, one that you should have to.

 

[Ares III]

Lion

This is my first post, but I've been reading this stuff for a long time (without being a registered member) Spam, from what I've read on other people's posts, you're in need of a confidence infusion. I'm fairly thin also and have other superficial reasons for lacking confidence (I'm a black guy living in the south....) However, you are the one that has to rid yourself of your demons. I did. The way that I kicked out the things tormenting me everytime I even thought about a girl were: taking the things that I read from this site and internalizing them. No one is above you. You're not above anyone else. Some ugly guys get hot chicks. Some handsome guys lose chicks. It's all about you. What I suggest is that you look at this guy's post that talked about the lion, wolf, dog and the cat. I don't remember his name, but if I do, I'll link you to it. I really internalized the message of that post and now women will NOT stop calling me. I actually got texts taken off my phone a few months ago because my bill go too high from my new "friends".

 

[niceguydying]

Fu*ck you. You registered here in 2004 and you haven't contributed jack sh*t to the discussion forum and you expect us to bow down to you. Go lick my as*hole d*ckhead.

Damn, rough crowd here!! Go easy on him Hitman. Maybe it took him a couple of years to decide he was ugly and scrawny. Play nice.

Okay, yes you should read the bible first and foremost. You should also figure out why you are ugly and work to resolve this. Furthermore, get a workout program with a good eating program and hit the GYM. Just like Sam Jackson said in Pulp Fiction, "Personality goes along way." Get your personality in check. Your attitude is all wrong.

 

[King Frodo]

hang in there bro

I'm in the same situation

 

[spam]

For those who gave advice, thanks.

I have read the dj bible, and I've internalized heaps of info from this site. Its helped me heaps. But this is still an area which gets to me despite everything that i know.

niceguydying - I do have a good eating program, and i do workout. The answer is not there. The whole workout thing is a weird one. I actually started working out once i adopted the self-improvement type mindset, which is now firmly ingrained. But its like it doesn't really make any difference. No-one can tell that i got muscles. It doesn't give me any extra confidence and I'm still a small guy. I used to have a lot of faith in the whole workout thing. Like okay, if i just keep working out, I'll get bigger. Yeah, my muscles got bigger, and i lost wicked fat, but hell, I still look the same in a tshirt. Its just i got crap bone structure and small frame. Where i agree with you however, is with the attitude. It most likely is all wrong.

The only reason I brought this topic up in the first place, is because I don't think its been addressed yet. And this is an issue that i personally need help with. Like i said, it comes and goes. What prompted me to post this thread was I met up with a chick friend of mine who i am really close with. I have always acted suave around her, incorporating everything i learned from this site. She is extremely good looking, and we r very touchy-feely. Anyway, I'm headed to her house, and i started getting anxious. And i know, its because I'm feeling inferior. I'm confident that I'll say the right things. But I don't feel confident that i look the part. Well, i know i don't! And that just pissed me off really, and put me in a bad frame. Even though the night still turned out good, I was feeling sh!t at some points and just wanted to bail. I really don't want to have to feel like that again. Hence, i'm looking for advice.

Finally,
Cheers hitman. I was expecting some tool to give me a response like that. U really pulled through man.

 

[comote]

I used to think self improvement was the answer . . . I don't think it is necessary anymore.

I'm not saying you should be a loser, but don't do something just because you think it will get you girls. Do something because it is what you want to do. Follow your dreams, along the way you'll meet women who attract you.

Some of these women will be attracted to you if only because you are following your path and people always admire that.

Don't be ashamed of who you are and what your goals are. . . You have every right to, and the responsibility to pursue, whatever you can achieve in this world.

It's time to take control of your lives for crying out loud. Stop making choices in your lives based on whether you can get laid or not.

 

[spam]

comote. interesting response. I get what you are saying. Its like giving yourself permission to just be yourself and knowing that you are okay as u r. But it doesn't really help me with my problem. As far as working out goes, I don't do that for the girls. I do it because it feels good and i eat well because i like being healthy.

 

[Soapz]

Hey there Spam. I'm a skinny dude too, so I know where you're coming from.

First off, you say you have a good eating+workout program, and yet, you still look skinny. This is an oxymoron.
Don't judge a workout program entirely by how good you feel afterwards. In fact a "good" workout program (one which makes you GROW) will feel SH*T after you're done with it! Look at it objectively- how much weight have you put on? Something in the ranges of 20-30 pounds in 6 months is what you should be looking for.

Anyways, onto your problem. In the short run, I'd recommend you do some meditation/visualization. Those can really help with your self image. There are many ways to do this but here are a few good ones:

1) Imagine people coming up to you and saying "Wow, Spam, you look Amazing!" and other nice compliments about whatever you happen to be insecure about (looks, conversation, whatever). Make it vivid- have people hug you, shake your hands, pat you on the back, etc.

2) When you're in need of an instant confidence booster, try visualising a bright blue light of "confidence" radiating from your heart. Then, have this light travel around your body, down to your legs, up to your head, until your entire body is "glowing with confidence." Then, keep on intensifying the brightness of the light until you can feel your confidence fill the room. You should feel on top of the world now!

Anyways, those two should keep you busy for a while. But they are only short term solutions. To really permenantly "fix" this, you gotta have an entire mental upheaval. A permenant change in beliefs and the way you look at things. But don't worry, it'll come eventually. Just live your life to the full, and the lessons'll appear!

Luck!

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Do all you can to succeed. I like you're attitude, but I wont lie, and please trust me when I say looks matter. So do all you can.

As for Hitman, chill out man, that was a tad bit rough, unessesary, o well, no need to do the same to you, but you know what I mean.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

What if your ugly in the face? In addition to that what if u have a very narrow frame and are thus very small, despite having muscles and work out hard? By that I mean, very narrow shoulders (smaller than chicks), a messed up chest, very thin bones, and are short 5’7.

These are my demons. And they do affect me. Sometimes badly. At the worst of times, it causes me a lot of anxiety / insecurity and once led to depression.

Any suggestions? Maybe how to accept this stuff?
If your gonna post bs, then get fukd, because this is serious

I'm seeing all kinds of "what if" questions here. Screw what if, go with what is. If you don't have confidence in yourself--you're going to have to find some way to learn it.

I didn't even read the entire post, but it seems as if you are scared out of your mind about what other people think about you. The question is, "What do you think about yourself?" Once you have a positive answer to that, your fear will be lost and you'll wonder why you were ever scared in the first place.

 

[comote]

It's so much more liberating than you are giving it credit for. You can hit on that hot hot chick, because if she turns you down, it doesn't matter. You still have your self image.

Alot of guys get stuck into this trap of not really trying to do anything because they are scared of failure. When you accept yourself as you are you accept that failure in an endeavor does not define who you are.

Confidence is not knowing you will succeed, confidence is knowing that if you fail, you can always try again.

To summarize, fvck your demons, if you are going to waste time worrying about the reasons you can't succeed then you never will.

 

[spam]

Thanks guys.

ima str8 up pimp - I agree with you. Looks do matter, and that is where i crumble. Its been said before, that when u look good, u feel good, which radiates in everything you do. Also ppl find you attractive and gravitate to you. Certain days, i can get this. Like I look in the mirror, and what the hell, I actually look good (better than normal). The effect of this is phenomenal. I really shine. But those days are few and far between. I actually thought to myself, well what is it that makes me look better. I figure its a combo of hair / healthy skin that day / facial hair length. And i tried hard to replicate this. Its pretty impossible And overall its not something i want to have to rely on. I don't want a crux like that. In theory, i can see how this works. If you are good looking, and u have a good day, your laughing, u look very good. If you have a sh!t day, and don't look so good, well no worries, cos u still look good. If your ugly to begin with, and u don't get that good day, well its going to affect you negatively.

The Nice Guy is Gone - I used the "what if" questions because I wanted ppl to imagine what it is like being in my shoes. For me there is no what if. I know I'm ugly, and I know I'm in a small body. I agree with you on the confidence part. I have to get it from somewhere. Where does everyone get their confidence from then? *I may even post this as a new thread, as i think the responses would be interesting* You're also dead-on with your other comments. Yes, sometimes i am concerned with other peoples perceptions of me. I wish i wasn't, but i am. You asked me...what do i think about myself? Good question that one! Well honestly, not much. I can hear the alarm bells ringing now. That is my problem.

comote - i completely understand what your saying. Makes perfect sense. Based upon what i wrote above, my self image is pretty low. I can't seem to improve it. So if i get shot down, sure i still have my self image. A crap one. Then you mentioned accepting yourself as you are. That is what i am trying to do! and I'm struggling like hell. There is hope...i don't mind failing in order to suceed.

So great, now that we've fleshed that out. Any further advice on how to correct a bad self image?

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

The best way for me to get rid of my inner demons is to spend a night or two alone in the woods

 

[hope7]

fight your personal demons in the gym

 

[reallyfreakinlost]

fight your personal demons in the gym

I have my personal plan. I wake up everyday at 7, lift weights for one hour, shower, and then go to class.

 

[comote]

How to improve your self-image: Set reasonable goals and then attain them. It doesn't matter what they are and they should be completely unrelated to women.