persist, pull back, or next?

[Alpha King]

When girls play 'hard to get' what should you do?

Some say that 'hard to get' is a test to see if the guy is truly interested and if he's easily upset or dissuaded. The solution is to not to show that her games bother you, but be persistent. These guys would have you keep pursuing until you get a definite no.

Others believe that girls play 'hard to get' to see how much control they have over you. They say that the solution to the test is to pull back even further. Don't have any expectations, but it's possible that by not continuing to pursue, it will make her think that she doesn't have control over you and she'll up the signs of interest.

Still others say that there is no such thing as playing 'hard to get.' This is just your skewed interpretation of her actions, which are truly signs of low interest. These guys say that interested girls reciprocate and make it easy for you, and if you're not getting a response, then NEXT! Forget about her; she will never show interest again. You should walk away completely.

What's the answer? Think in terms of a girl who has gone out on a couple of successful dates with you, but is now not returning your call.

 

[crowes22]

Well, what made these dates succesful? That is the question.

 

[Legend]

when a girl is playing hard to get or the"im to busy" routine shes usually not interested and is not worth one more second of your time. You put girls like this on the back burner so you dont burn your bridge. Well if you do decide to pursue her still, i say just dont put all your eggs in her basket, she seems like shes giving you the run around.


Playing hard to get is fun for a little awhile, but if shes keeping it up after a month you def. should remove any thoughts of her out of your mind.

Also how old is this girl you are dealing with?

Good luck man

John

 

[flexion_]

Don't waste your time with women that play hard to get - they won't get any easier to deal with in the future. Don't ignore here either - just bump her down the list.

 

[griffon65]

Either they are not interested in you or they are really playing hard to get. The only way to find out is by calling out their BS. How you do it depends on the situation.

I was talking to this HB9 on the phone a couple of weeks ago, we had great conversation. She was funny, great personality but was like a confident guy, trying to play games with me. Constantly talknig about all the attention she gets from soo many guys.

At the end of the conversation shes like "well you know my number, so call me anytime." Did I call her? No I ignored her till she saw me online one day and ASKED ME to call her. And now I have her. The only way I will talk to her is either if she calls me or if she leaves me a message to call her. Call out their BS and you'll have them eating out of your hands.

 

[Happiness Renewed]

You gotta ask yourself what makes her so damn special that you should pursue her even though shes playing this sh!t? If someone has gone on a few dates they have already demonstrated their value. If she chooses to resist then there is not much more you can do, hang back and hopefully she will play her cards different. If not, fvck her, that b!tch is cut

 

[Alpha King]

I agree with Flexion and Legend to put her on the back burner but not to ignore her. I'm going to do that -- date other chicks etc. But I also like Griffin's idea of calling her out on her BS, and I wonder if I should do that as well as putting her on the back burner. Is it a good idea to confront her (in a C&F way) on her BS, or would that show her that I'm bothered by her games?

The girl is 20 and VERY inexperienced for her age (so everyone says). I wonder if she simply doesn't know the degree to which a girl should play games, and she's over-doing it out of sheer ignorance. Maybe she wants the guy to take control of the situation by confronting her, and if I don't do anything about this I'm failing her little test.

I've actually known this girl through common friends for about a year before we went out one-on-one (due to complications). I'd describe this more as hot-cold than just 'playing hard to get,' because she did show very high IL pretty regularly followed by complete ignoring of me. Just before and during the dates she was on a hot cylce, but now she's on a cold cycle again. Obviously this is frustrating, and I'm sure even if I were to ignore her completely (as I have in the past), she'd still play hot-cold. She seems to use hot-cold like it's her one-trick pony.

 

[sapphire]

What I learned is that a girl who is truly interested will not play hard to get or will at least break the rules to some degree.

What I mean is that if she never returns your calls, never says yes to a date, etc. then she is probably not interested, period.

Some girls, for societal reasons and due to their upbringing, will make it a little difficult for you, but will, if she is interested, leave the door open and not make it impossible. She may not be the first to call, etc. but she will return your calls and not cancel dates for no reason.

In the end, you have to use common sense and rely on your gut instincts to determine a girl's true motives. After dating a while, you should be able to quickly determine which ones are game and which ones are there to waste your time and money.

By the way, I think Griffon's take on it is spot on. I have used the same tactic on several "hard to get" girls with good effect.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

If she's testing you then it means she's forcing you to jump through hoops in order to be with her which disqualifies her as a potential GF.