Performance Anxiety (Hello, I didn't miss you!)

[TheTraveller]

UPDATE: A few new words of advice for performance anxiety...

- This can be quite common. Don't sweat it that you're "different" or "less of a man". You are not.

- The ED pills are a crutch and could perpetuate the issue. They're not a solution. I have a better solution (next point)

- Be open about this with the girl you're with. If she in any way acts like a b!tch, then immediately get up and leave. Seriously. I've stayed with these in the past, performance anxiety goes away, but her b!tchiness does not.

- Be prepared for questions from the girl. If she's dives into questions, do not view them as threatening. Answer what you're comfortable with, but realize this - she's asking because she cares. This is what you want.

- Take s3x off the table for a night. If she asks, say no s3x tonight. Wouldn't be surprised if teasing her like this and a few hours later things improve down below.

- Another thing that has helped me is do something which requires a bit more of a connection, i.e. spend the day with her being active, go out in public, stay away from the bedroom until the end of the day. This'll help, too.

- Lastly, easy on the booze.

Don't sweat it. This is really nothing and it's a big deal in your mind and in the mind of girls you don't want anyways. I mean, if a girl is making a big deal out of this, what happens when real stuff hits the fan?!

You're better than them, so don't make it a big deal in your mind.

 

[Tazman]

I've found that the more selfish I am in bed (within reason), the better the sex.

When not taken to extremes, this has never failed me. It especially helped early on when getting back into things after an extended hiatus. I don't remember any complaints from it either. I think women get off when you're enjoying yourself.

 

[Desdinova]

So I never gave you guys an update...

Saturday night, I had HB28 over. We've pretty much established the fact that we're basically fvck buddies. I popped 1/4 of the pill, but it didn't really seem to do much. Regardless, I fvcked her brains out. I'd forgotten how loud that woman is!

Sunday, had HB21 over. Popped 1/2 a pill before going into the bedroom. Got rock hard, but she took too damned long getting her clothes off and I lost it. We conversed about the subject and she said that she's cool if things don't happen right away. Regardless, I want to bang her brains against the wall of my bedroom!

Monday, canceled with the 24 year old. HB21 had a freeing of her schedule, but I decided to avoid the bedroom this round. We're seeing each other this Saturday again, and I'll probably give it a try.

At least the weekend wasn't a total loss. HB28 is pretty crazy about me, but she doesn't have the time to be a proper gf. She's also not my type for a LTR due to her strong religious beliefs. Regardless, she's one of the best lays I've ever had.

 

[Lexington]

I've had the same problem before. I could get hard as a rock spanking it to porn in front of my laptop. I was worried about coming too fast, nevermind not being able to come at all!

You have to convince yourself to think about YOU. It may sound selfish, but she can't have fun if you can't. When you're spanking it by yourself, you don't care about pleasing someone. You are focused on just having fun.

Why do girls love guys who can dance so much? Because they are not afraid to let go and just have fun. Before you can click with a dance partner, you must click with the music. That's the same attitude you need to adopt in the bedroom. In fact, you may find that learning to be a better dancer will make you a more confident lover.

 

[Desdinova]

So I finally got inside of her (bravo!!!) The problem really boiled down to how fvcking tight she was, and a lack of natural lubricant. She's one of the driest chicks I've ever banged. Thank god I've got a stockpile of KY. Also, those fvcking pills don't seem to be doing anything but giving me heartburn.

She's not the worst lay I've ever had, but her lack of sexual experience really does show. Probably the first chick I've ever been with who admitted she doesn't own a vibrator. Hmmm, Christmas is coming

 

[amnni]

Performance Anxiety (Hello, I didn't miss you!) Reply to Thread

some people suffer life a lot of tension and responsibilities so they are feeling complexities in life they always like sad and depressed so never take tension then anxiety create.

 

[DanelMadr]

Desdinova, it is problem of 'thinking' which leads to 'what if' to fear...

You want to treat it at the root. Viagra, ring, hypnosis will only make you think of the problem, making it worse in long run.

Relax, breath, stop thinking ,silence the ego and learn to love the real you.

Recommended reading is Eckhart Tolle 'Power of Now'

or watch....Owen Cook - Ego Vs Self-Esteem

Warning...no manual or techniques exist, only pointers.
Admitting that you were a clown all your life/no excuses is not easy. However once you make that realization on really deep, sincere level....things start to seem more clear and most of anxiety goes away. It can be achieved in no time. What you will need to work on is how to not let your ego speak again.
But believe me, it becomes a joyful task.