Performance anxiety and maintaining frame afterwards

[Bingo-Player]

I think this is partially true - we went on 4 dates and for the first 3 I wasn't that excited. She had high interest in me and was a solid 9/10 and I was therefore keen to keep it going. The 4th date, however, felt a little different and I did genuinely fancy her more than previously.

Ultimately though, I should not have had an issue with getting erect. If I was able to and the sex was bad, so be it, but I do think that we both had high expectations for sex and that the disappointment was greater because it didn't work out how we hoped. That, coupled with me acting awkward afterwards and not going down on her (why the **** didn't I do this?!?!?) made her lose interest in an instant.

Whatever the situation, I need to stop obsessing about what could have been and move on.

yea theres your problem both expectating mind blowing sex straight off the block

doesn't quite work like that

nobodys first time with someone new is going to be mind blowing I don’t care what anyone says , women have this illusion that men are able to get rock hard just by looking at a pair of b00bs and men have the expectation that every woman is born with knowledge of how to perform in bed ( a lot dont even know to lift they're legs up to get a better angle for penetration )

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

A decent level of fitness also helps.
I also think we have been conditioned to put women's pleasure before our own.

Same story, always the man's fault. It is never because the woman isn't sexy or sensual {a HB 10 can still **** like a plank of wood).It is never because they are mental or have no idea what the hell they are doing.

.

 

[raider87]

a lot dont even know to lift they're legs up to get a better angle for penetration )

Some don't even know to arch their back for doggy. Bizarre.

 

[Alvafe]

you know you can work very well on sex and not be just the penis inside the girl.

things you can do to help to relax, it also depend on how your body works

- drinks(too much can get in the way) helps you relax, and like I said depend how it works, when I drink I never gets drunk, I can feel bad, spend the next really bad, but I was not drunk

- viagra, just half of it you just need a little boost, plus get ready to make full use for the duration

- no fap, you build up a little and get hard easier

- if you watch porn, stop doing it, some researches says its ****s the brain on how you would work, plus teh pornstars always look like they have a better body then the girly you are

- understand how you work, see if the problem is anxiety or just you too tired, and how much you like the girl and her body

- travel on her body, use her body to fuel you on lust, kiss, lick whatever you want with her, puting some force on the right time, on the right way will make her feel you are on control and you can feel more confidence when you notice she is letting you lead her

- let her do some of the work too, not only you is doing here, let her do some work too let her ride you, blow you, works well when you are tired or trying to rest a little after you.

- try to concentrate on what you are doing and on her, I have this problem, i'm used to work on one thing and think on another, I lose focus on that so I thend to not work well when its sex, so focus on that and ignore all other things for now.

i'm ,of course, tossing the physical problems out since I belive you can get hard at random or during the mornings


that is all I think on the moment

 

[Asbury]

Still having problems with this. Met a new girl and we've been back to my place/hers twice. Both times we've ended with fingering/hj and oral because I lose the erection between foreplay and penetration despite being rock hard during foreplay. I was really horny but just lose it.

I'm not nervous and I know I can please her through other ways. I think maybe I'm just obsessed with my notch count and the idea that things can't go anywhere if I can't fvck her well. It's almost as though it's a chore that I need to get out of the way. I realise that thinking this way is making things go wrong. Any ideas?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Still having problems with this. Met a new girl and we've been back to my place/hers twice. Both times we've ended with fingering/hj and oral because I lose the erection between foreplay and penetration despite being rock hard during foreplay. I was really horny but just lose it.

I'm not nervous and I know I can please her through other ways. I think maybe I'm just obsessed with my notch count and the idea that things can't go anywhere if I can't fvck her well. It's almost as though it's a chore that I need to get out of the way. I realise that thinking this way is making things go wrong. Any ideas?

Do you have control or does she have control? I've pedastalized a babe to the fantasy babe level, and she had control in our physical space since I was enamoured.

My stuff didn't work properly unless she manually or orally showed attention.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Women will always reflect it on themselves.
She probably thinks that you don't think she is attractive enough or you were turned off by something she did.

Maybe this is a good thing, and she will try harder next time.

 

[Asbury]

You need to stop worrying about pleasing her at all.

Pleasuring a woman with sex is one part of my game that I don't even make an effort on improving anymore.

I did last year. I downloaded a series called "2 girls teach sex". When I was trying some of it, a girl told me that "I was fvcking like a lesbian".

So, there you are. Don't be so eager to please. Just please yourself. Do whatever you feel like.

I'm not worried about pleasing her - she came several times from foreplay. I know in my mind I can please her.

I was raised with the idea that sex is a huge deal and that it represents a lot and sex ed didn't help this view at all. At university, I rejected sex several times because I didn't think I was ready and I thought it would mean more than just a hook up. I think subconsciously I can't shake this mindset. I have been fine up to the point of penetration and then I go limp.

Whenever I know that it won't go anywhere with the girl I'm fine e.g. if I'm travelling, met someone where we discussed hooking up as the only thing we wanted. It's just when it means something more to me that things don't work.

 

[Milano]

Go no fap, if you havent already. It tends to help

Actually this helped me. I had a ED streak of 2 after a bad breakup. Dont underestimate how much porn and masturbating can mess with your brain. Obviously work out hard and get some more blood flow around your body.

Funny thing is, by not touching your pecker for some time it will eventually force it to work. If you do have s3x after like a month or how long it might take, it feels a lot better to chum fast than being limp

 

[Milano]

Performance anxiety has been a bit a problem for in the past: I'm an inexperienced guy with her few partners. About half of my sexual encounters have involved some form of ED to varying degrees. Last night I could not get it up with a girl who I really like and I've seen a few times.
I'm the sort of guy who gets up in my head and I can see this creating a downward spiral. Any tips for relaxation before sex so that I can perform?


The second part of my question is how do you stay on top of your game after this happens. The girl obviously has high interest in me and she said it was fine that I couldn't get it up but it still affected me. I lost frame a little and probably came off as weak/beta a little. How would you deal with it?

Exact thing happened with me bro. I also had it rock solid during foreplay but then when the penetration comes, well it goes limp. If this kills you mentally I suggest 20 mg levitra cause it is easier on the system than viagra and u dont need it, u just need a little blood flow aid, perhaps just half the pill too.

ED aint no joke. I just try to laugh it off and act like it is the first time and that we should just continue with some netflix and chill. Maybe u get it up after u get ur mind on something else than performance

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exact thing happened with me bro. I also had it rock solid during foreplay but then when the penetration comes, well it goes limp. If this kills you mentally I suggest 20 mg levitra cause it is easier on the system than viagra and u dont need it, u just need a little blood flow aid, perhaps just half the pill too.

ED aint no joke. I just try to laugh it off and act like it is the first time and that we should just continue with some netflix and chill. Maybe u get it up after u get ur mind on something else than performance

How to re-wire the brain so that ED and concerns of ED is no longer a problem.

 

[Paul_FR]

This happened to me a few weeks ago - But I was nervous, came all floppy but She was very understanding. Gave me a BJ, then just after I fingered her and then She was on top of me, taking the lead.

Many Orgasms and got me soaking wet so I think that if She takes the lead, She pleases herself her way and this'll help get your confidence up, then switch roles after a few minutes.

 

[Milano]

How to re-wire the brain so that ED and concerns of ED is no longer a problem.

I think one needs to fuk a girl that you dont really value that much but still not so bad that she cant turn you on and go from there. Your brain must see that you can make it work until you get with the hotties again, build the confidence back slowly

 

[nikkisixx]

happens when the girls a weirdo dude. enough about dykes.

 

[MrOctober]

I've been lucky when it comes down to every level of this level but.

I've had it happen like once. Dude get some performance pills.... I use them and I don't even have an issue like your saying. That's the answer what I just said. Go to an Indian convience store and pick them up. Thank me later.

 

[Milano]

I've been lucky when it comes down to every level of this level but.

I've had it happen like once. Dude get some performance pills.... I use them and I don't even have an issue like your saying. That's the answer what I just said. Go to an Indian convience store and pick them up. Thank me later.

In some countries its gonna get really expensive, specially if you have to use it every time. You dont wanna hide a bag of pills all the time as girls are sneaky as fuk. They will find things that dont even exist

 

[MrOctober]

In some countries its gonna get really expensive, specially if you have to use it every time. You dont wanna hide a bag of pills all the time as girls are sneaky as fuk. They will find things that dont even exist

Yea that's true. I peel the label off and leave them in my cabinet. If they wanna pop a mystery pill and get an invisible boner it's on them.

 

[Milano]

Yea that's true. I peel the label off and leave them in my cabinet. If they wanna pop a mystery pill and get an invisible boner it's on them.

Lol I believe their cltoris will become hard actually and possibly whet inside as well

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just have a lot more sex and this problem goes away.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

happens when the girls a weirdo dude. enough about dykes.

I feel you. She will have the wrong energy which is not receptive to taking d1ck and this can phvck you up over time if it's your only source.