People who invite themselves along

[speakeasy]

A huge pet peeve of mine is when you tell people that you are doing something and then they just invite themselves along. I hate that. I'm going on a camping trip in a few weeks and just mentioned it to a friend of mine. I didn't want her to go, but she was asking me a million questions about what I'm doing for my birthday weekend. I tell her I'm going camping with some buddies and she then asks is it okay if she goes along because "it sounds like so much fun."

I think it's one of the rudest things in the world. I don't think I've ever invited myself along to someone else's plan. If they don't invite me, then I assume they don't want me there or have no need for me being there. I don't take it personal, I don't expect everyone to invite me along to everything they do, and nor will I ask them to. When people invite themselves along it imposes and makes you feel like an arsehole if you say no.

 

[Ken785]

It would also be rude to mention such a fun event and not invite them along if you know them well enough...

 

[speakeasy]

It would also be rude to mention such a fun event and not invite them along if you know them well enough...

Do you invite everyone you know along to everything you do?

 

[f283000]

Do you invite everyone you know along to everything you do?

When people don't have much of a social life and they hear a friend talk about all the fun stuff they do or are about to do, it's only natural for them to want to tag along. Think of it as talking to a homeless person about how you are going to be going to a great all you can eat buffett later in the afternoon. The same applies talking about activities with friends that are starved for friendships and social activity.

It would also be rude to mention such a fun event and not invite them along if you know them well enough...

I hate it when people brag about their great social life in order to make themselves feel important, or talk about the party they are going on saturday night with everyone but nobody there is invited. The explanation for people like that is just a well known fact about cliques. In college you see cliques of friends that knew each other in high school, foreign students with foreign students, people of different races hanging out with their own, and countless other cliques. It is very hard for outsiders to break into these groups, why?

There is a protective mentality/close minded mentality a lot of people have when it comes to inviting others to their social group, it's all psychology. Some people just want to hang out with their "buds" and that's it. Others have a protective/close minded mentality when it comes to their group, don't want to jeopardize their own status in the group by bringing an outsider in, or simply just like to brag about all the fun stuff they do with people they know. But when it comes to inviting you to some of that fun, nope sorry!

I personally am the inviting type I try to make friends with everyone and have invited people to hang out with my social circle right after meeting them. Not recently I had some friends organize a poker game and I tried to get some of my other friends involved and I was denied, so I decided not to go.

speakeasy is correct you don't have to invite people to everything you do but it's best to just keep your activities to yourself sometimes. You don't talk to a homeless man of the great food you are going to be eating, you don't talk to a nerd with no friends about all fun you're going to have on saturday night with your many friends. You don't want to make others feel bad and it is the decent thing to do to keep it to yourself.

 

[speakeasy]

speakeasy is correct you don't have to invite people to everything you do but it's best to just keep your activities to yourself sometimes. You don't talk to a homeless man of the great food you are going to be eating, you don't talk to a nerd with no friends about all fun you're going to have on saturday night with your many friends. You don't want to make others feel bad and it is the decent thing to do to keep it to yourself.

FYI, that's not what I did. She asked ME what I was doing for my birthday since the trip falls over my birthday weekend. So I told her. I didn't bring it up to her first like I was boasting. I think asking others what their plans are for such and such a weekend and then inviting yourself along to whatever you find out is kinda faux pas.

 

[3countriesPlan]

My boss didn't get invited to the clients BBQ, but looks like he will go anyways, in fact he invited 5 people including me to go with him.. lol you are like his opposite..

 

[ketostix]

I think for someone to invite themselves along they should expect the possibility of being turned down and accept it since they are imposing and asking a favor basically. You would've been well within your right to turn her down speakeasy.

 

[Credos]

If a person asks you what you gonna do and you are so friendly to respond that's one thing... Then they go asking if they can tag along... I so hate that. I never invite myself anywhere. My GF sometimes bothers herself to this, as if she wants me to do this, considering she finds it normal.

I have teached myself to learn to say: "No". It was pretty hard, cause I alwayse thought of myself being an @ss, but the fact of the matter, you're are not. They are being a drag for asking you such a question (can I come? It's a yes or no question... Allowed to be asked, allowed to be turned down), so you shouldn't feel bad for saying they can't join.

I've read the first response and I have to say that some of you people are Tw@ts... Please don't post your retarded replies without reading the main post. I bet there are gonna be more of these replies so this is for the rest of you:

If you conversate with people, which you people clearly have problems with, you tend to talk about the future and what you are planning. These subjects clearly tend to fall into the conversation first. This is not rubing it in, it's called communicating and keeping a conversation intresting. Don't come here flaming speakeasy for having a normal conversation by telling him he shouldn't talk about it cause that's just his bad move , it's not his bad move, bunch of AFCs...

Go to the highschool discussion forum and go give some more advice there please...