People who cheat and lie

[dbot]

OK you got it. Now how about amending your profile. Posting your age is mandatory here . IF you dont follow the rules, RT is going come over to your house and speak to you.

My age is in my profile, but only the mods can see it. No rules have been broken.

 

[jophil28]

Jophil,

I think you're being unfair with that statement. Women do sleep with men they are attracted to, and RT doesn't claim that it's ok, only that there is an underlying reason for them doing it.

Women are attracted to masculinity, therefore we should not be afraid to be men.

RT isn't apologizing for the women, he's trying to get people to realize that women have desires just like men do, and those desires exist for certain reasons.

There is a strong tendency to try to purely "understand" why women cheat.

In an academic setting, this is appropriate because of the value free context , but the problem arises when an such an "explanation" is confused with an "excuse". These lines are frequently blurred on this forum.
All women have the capacity to make conscious choices which supercede their genetic imperatives. They are not driven by their urges to an extent that their internal code is disabled and I include the BPDS and the HPDS.
Women (and men ) act destructively because they think or hope that they can succeed in having their wants and whims satisfied without penalty or consequence. .

There can be no "value free" intimate relationships. Nor should there be. There can be no unconditional love between adults. That is for parents and dependent children .,
Ultimately we are valued by another adult because of the consistent quality of our deeds.

It NEVER matters a fig "why" your woman cheated, it only matters that you walk out without another glance (with or without all your CDs )

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

GUESS WHAT GUYS... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT.

Once men get into relationships, they have a tendency to turn into lazy, boring, pussies. If the man still has some redeemable quality (money, emotional availability, etc) the woman may choose to hang onto him, but sleep with another man on the side... one who isn't a pussy (yet).

And don't even get me started about the term "high quality women." What the hell is a high quality woman? A woman who continues to be sexually attracted to you after you turn into a big boring pussy? In that case, keep looking!

So women do stupid shit, and come up with even stupider excuses for doing it. You can't blame women for acting like women. But if you don't want them to cheat on you, then you better not lose the excitement in your relationship, or she'll find it somewhere else. Got it?

I commend you not only for your clearly and succinctly description of the reality of male/female relationships, but for the way you've effectively circumvented the swear filters.

+1

 

[decades]

Originally Posted by dbot
GUESS WHAT GUYS... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT. There, I said it.

So I guess if "we" cheat it's HER fault?

 

[darkstarrr]

Not that cheating is acceptable behavior in the least, but I find it funny how men never consider cheating to be a result of their own behavior. GUESS WHAT GUYS... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT. There, I said it.

Once men get into relationships, they have a tendency to turn into lazy, boring, pussies. If the man still has some redeemable quality (money, emotional availability, etc) the woman may choose to hang onto him, but sleep with another man on the side... one who isn't a pussy (yet).

And don't even get me started about the term "high quality women." What the hell is a high quality woman? A woman who continues to be sexually attracted to you after you turn into a big boring pussy? In that case, keep looking!

When I was little, I had a dog named Chowder. My dad used to get so upset because every time he'd try to take Chowder's bone from her, she would growl at him. It never made sense to me. That's what dogs do, and you couldn't blame Chowder for being a dog. If my dad didn't want Chowder to growl at him, then he shouldn't have been trying to take her fucking bone away.

So women do stupid shit, and come up with even stupider excuses for doing it. You can't blame women for acting like women. But if you don't want them to cheat on you, then you better not lose the excitement in your relationship, or she'll find it somewhere else. Got it?

I agree you are quite clever but your argument, although grossly true in many cases does not have whole hell of a lot to do with what I am talking about and is inherently flawed. You can do things to maintain the spark in your relationship but I'm afraid you would have to be superman to avoid the ups and downs in life. What if you break a leg playing sports? Are you a fucking pussy because you can't walk for 2 months and aren't able to do the things you normally would do?

What if the company you are working for goes under and you find yourself unemployed for a month or 2? Does that make you a boring pussy that your girlfriend should cheat on you and/or break up with you?

Don't get too comfortable in a relationship and take for granted what you have. Don't forget the optimum ways to operate and turn AFC, etc. I'm glad you posted these ideas because they are a vital part of the way we ought to operate. However to go as far to say that if you encounter a cvnt in your life who lies and cheats, as I described in the first post, that it is your fault, it leads me to believe you either haven't had much experience in the social world and that you are young (possibly what sparked others curiosity as to how old you are) but also that you missed the point to begin with: which is the psychological processes behind pieces of sh1t who habitually cheat and lie.

NO, it is a character defect and one you do not need in your life.
Find a higher quality woman and quit looking for "explanations".

Originally Posted by persistent exaction
walk away from these people. the answer to many of our problems is Walk Away at the earliest point of recognition.

first i read jophils post and thought well dude i think educating myself will empower me. then i read PE's post and it struck me how ying and yang they are. sometimes its better to not know who what where why and when. when its time to go its time to go.

 

[dbot]

Thanks for the comment darkstarrr. You're right that there are some serious cunts out there who will consistently use you and lie/cheat behind your back. And I don't deny there are cases where we get fucked over for reasons outside our control. My comments were directed to those who may have been lied to or cheated on who immediately paint themselves as a victim and the other person as an evil betrayer who does that kind of thing all the time, when in fact they have no idea.

There's always 2 sides to a story, and more often then not, one party is indirectly responsible for the other's wrong doing. But that's a reality we'd rather not deal with

 

[darkstarrr]

I don't deny there are cases where we get fucked over for reasons outside our control. My comments were directed to those who may have been lied to or cheated on who immediately paint themselves as a victim and the other person as an evil betrayer who does that kind of thing all the time, when in fact they have no idea. There's always 2 sides to a story, and more often then not, one party is indirectly responsible for the other's wrong doing. But that's a reality we'd rather not deal with

Don't you think directing comments at those people who you refer to would make much more sense in a new thread of your own? Re-reading the original post and not just the title of the thread might clarify that for you. Thanks for the input though. What you say does make sense, just seemed a little dis-connected from the point of this thread.

 

[dbot]

My apologies. I didn't mean to hijack your thread. The reply was a knee-jerk reaction to the comments saying things like "these people don't deserve to be loved," "**** em," and so forth. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[darkstarrr]

My apologies. I didn't mean to hijack your thread. The reply was a knee-jerk reaction to the comments saying things like "these people don't deserve to be loved," "**** em," and so forth. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

I understand. Your feedback hasn't gone unappreciated. We are all in this together.

Cheers

 

[Luthor Rex]

GUESS WHAT GUYS... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT. There, I said it.

This is absolute bull**** victim blaming. GUESS WHAT LADIES... IF YOU GET RAPED IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT. There, I said it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DarkStarr,
All is fair in Love and War.....If the rules of the Game were set by our Mothers then who is to say it is wrong to step around them...Plaster Saints don't spin plates.

 

[decades]

Thanks for the comment darkstarrr. You're right that there are some serious cunts out there who will consistently use you and lie/cheat behind your back. And I don't deny there are cases where we get fucked over for reasons outside our control. My comments were directed to those who may have been lied to or cheated on who immediately paint themselves as a victim and the other person as an evil betrayer who does that kind of thing all the time, when in fact they have no idea.

There's always 2 sides to a story, and more often then not, one party is indirectly responsible for the other's wrong doing. But that's a reality we'd rather not deal with

actually I think you need to rethink this. The REaction for a woman who believes that "something" her guy did or didn't do is "causing" her to cheat is ludicrous. She has choices to make. The mature choice is to remove yourself from the relationship. The immature choice is to "cheat" because HE "made me". Or should I say "the devil made me do it?"

I think your viewpoint goes to the notion that if only the bf was a True "DJ" a God like Lover, an Alpha Male, etc, that his GF would never stray or wander, never cheat, never even so much as look at another man. But that goes against all evidence, not to mention human nature, and evolutionary biology. Women cheat because they make a decision to cheat. They have many many choices in reaction to circumstances in their intimate relationships. Cheating is but one of them.

 

[squirrels]

Is she doing that to protect herself from feeling like the piece of worthless sh1t she really is?

Yes.

People who lie and cheat seem to be helpless. Do they really not have control over their actions and then as I stated above they make excuses to shift the shame off from themselves?

Usually people who "cheat" are in bound commitments that they, for one reason or another, can't let go of. Sometimes it's a significant lifestyle-shock, for example if the dude lives with her and kicking him out would mean no second income. Sometimes it's that they're so comfortable in their misery that the idea of "shaking everything up" scares the sh!t out of them. And sometimes, they just enjoy leeching off of someone, even though they're miserable with that person.

If they HAD control over their actions, they would end the commitment, and all the ups and downs associated therewith. But most people AREN'T "conscious". They refuse to take responsibility for the gift of "choice".

Same reason we give the government more and more control over our lives. So then we can blame Bush or Obama or whoever when things don't work out well for us. Did you sign a mortgage you can't pay for? Blame Bush. Moved 2 hours from where you work and now you can't afford gas? Blame Bush.

But the real cheaters and liers... they may claim in their own infanitle minds that they wouldn't want to put you through "that"..... what they are really more concerned with is how disgusting they would feel if you were to find out and be heart broken or whatever. Its always about them, isn't it. So selfish.

It's funny...the people who are quick to make a point of how selfless they are are usually the most selfish people of all. EVERYONE is selfish. We were having an interesting discussion about this on another forum. Most people who do great things for the world do so out of their own pride, out of a desire to show the world how much THEY can do for it.

Ever had a woman cook for you, take you amazing places, f*ck your brains out night and day, and then turn around and give you the, "I do so much...I deserve better than you!" attitude?? Then you know what I'm talking about.



You actually have it kind of backwards. A woman doesn't push you away to give her an excuse to cheat. She cheats to give her an excuse to get AWAY from you.

It's very simple...if she's "cheating", the commitment is not as good as you both say it is. Figure out why and fix it. If you can't fix it, or fixing it will make you miserable anyway, then STOP making a big deal about "cheating" and just break it off already.

It's not your business to hate on a woman or punish her for "cheating".

To me, there IS NO SUCH THING as "cheating". What you call "cheating" I call one party thinking that a relationship is stronger than the other party does.

If she cheats, and it pisses you off, cut her loose. End-of-story. I know, human attachment and all that...suck it up and suffer. Learn your lesson and accept responsibility for getting involved with a cheating *****.

 

[darkstarrr]

It's funny...the people who are quick to make a point of how selfless they are are usually the most selfish people of all. EVERYONE is selfish. We were having an interesting discussion about this on another forum. Most people who do great things for the world do so out of their own pride, out of a desire to show the world how much THEY can do for it.

Ahh the long lived debate as to whether altruism really exists.. Very nice.

You actually have it kind of backwards. A woman doesn't push you away to give her an excuse to cheat. She cheats to give her an excuse to get AWAY from you.

It's very simple...if she's "cheating", the commitment is not as good as you both say it is. Figure out why and fix it. If you can't fix it, or fixing it will make you miserable anyway, then STOP making a big deal about "cheating" and just break it off already.If she cheats, and it pisses you off, cut her loose. End-of-story. I know, human attachment and all that...suck it up and suffer. Learn your lesson and accept responsibility for getting involved with a cheating *****.

Interesting point. But when the cheating is going on and you don't know about and yet they still act like they are into you and the relationship is still very important to them. These are the deep seeded liars and cheaters I am referring to. The ones that have no self control and are impulsive to act on any urge that presents itself. In these cases that I am refering to, sometimes it has nothing to do with you and more with their inability for you to serve a role in their life that can never be satisfied.

 

[Mr. Me]

darkstarrr, you've got some quotes attributed to me in your post #12 that I did not make.

GUESS WHAT GUYS... IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU, IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT.

This isn't entirely accurate. It's 100% her fault for deciding to cheat and doing it. What blame there lies on the guy, is that he contributed to the environment in which her decision was made. That's his fault 100%.

Much like leaving a car unlocked with its keys in the ignition. Not your fault that the car got stolen, the actual thief is responsible for that. But you helped create the possibility that it could happen.

Not to pick on anyone, but solely in context to our discussion about lies and our human nature, I thought this sentence illustrated it perfectly:

I am honest person and I rarely lie.

Think about it.

 

[horaholic]

Interesting point. But when the cheating is going on and you don't know about and yet they still act like they are into you and the relationship is still very important to them. These are the deep seeded liars and cheaters I am referring to. The ones that have no self control and are impulsive to act on any urge that presents itself. In these cases that I am refering to, sometimes it has nothing to do with you and more with their inability for you to serve a role in their life that can never be satisfied.

Absolutely. My ex cheated on me because it is in her nature. It had NOTHING to do with my actions in the relationship. I spoke with an old roomate of hers after we broke up, and she said she played EVERY guy. According to her, she cheated on every relationship she had, including her marriage. Incidentally, her husband moved away from her, most likely because he was sick of her manipulation, and they had a long distance marriage. She supposedly told him she was going to see other people. he went into serious depression, and a week later, he was found dead of a heroin overdose.

Another story: A very rich guy asked her to marry him. He was already married to a woman so he could be a citizen. She said she would think about it, but he would have to get a divorce first. A week later he fell down his stairs, broke his neck and died. It is believed that his wife pushed him, afeter he asked for a divorce. This happened WHILE my ex was with her husband, before they were married. She was upset with him, because he wasn't offering her enough emotional support after her sugardaddy's death! Can you believe the nerve of this whackjob?

In a nutshell, people have literally died over my ex's lying, and cheating mentality. I barely escaped being stabbed by some psycho she was cheating on me with, when he kicked down my front door, and pulled a gun out of my hands.

But hey, maybe I just wasnt satisfying her in the relationship. Maybe that had something to do with her prostitution behind my back, as well.

 

[dbot]

This is absolute bull**** victim blaming. GUESS WHAT LADIES... IF YOU GET RAPED IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT. There, I said it.

You say I'm "victim" blaming... but really, who's the victim here? As for the rape analogy, you have a point. Date rape often occurs when women engage in the sexual motions but then stop short once the man gets the green light. Sure, the man shouldn't be forcing her to have sex with him, but the woman should know better than to raise the rocket if she isn't prepared to launch it. But let's not stray from the topic.

Much like leaving a car unlocked with its keys in the ignition. Not your fault that the car got stolen, the actual thief is responsible for that. But you helped create the possibility that it could happen.

Perfect. That's exactly the point I was trying to make.

I think your viewpoint goes to the notion that if only the bf was a True "DJ" a God like Lover, an Alpha Male, etc, that his GF would never stray or wander, never cheat, never even so much as look at another man. But that goes against all evidence, not to mention human nature, and evolutionary biology. Women cheat because they make a decision to cheat. They have many many choices in reaction to circumstances in their intimate relationships. Cheating is but one of them.

You are correct but still missing the point. Just like Mr. Me said, if your car gets stolen because you left the keys in the ignition with the doors unlocked, then you have nobody to blame but yourself. The "perfect lover" may still get cheated on, but he won't set himself up for it. He won't create an environment that's conductive to such behavior. I'm not claiming to be the perfect lover, but I do know that the times I have been betrayed were due to my own failures. I'm not excusing her for such behavior... I'm merely accepting responsibility. It's part of being a man.

 

[decades]

You are correct but still missing the point. Just like Mr. Me said, if your car gets stolen because you left the keys in the ignition with the doors unlocked, then you have nobody to blame but yourself. The "perfect lover" may still get cheated on, but he won't set himself up for it. He won't create an environment that's conductive to such behavior. I'm not claiming to be the perfect lover, but I do know that the times I have been betrayed were due to my own failures. I'm not excusing her for such behavior... I'm merely accepting responsibility. It's part of being a man.

Sorry your quote was cheating was the BF's fault. It's what you said, unfortunately. And if you think women only cheat when the BF sets the wrong circumstances in place in the relationship, you're once again, mistaken. They cheat for All Kinds of Reasons, most of which have to do with their very own issues.

 

[darkstarrr]

Absolutely. My ex cheated on me because it is in her nature. It had NOTHING to do with my actions in the relationship. I spoke with an old roomate of hers after we broke up, and she said she played EVERY guy. According to her, she cheated on every relationship she had, including her marriage.

In a nutshell, people have literally died over my ex's lying, and cheating mentality. I barely escaped being stabbed by some psycho she was cheating on me with, when he kicked down my front door, and pulled a gun out of my hands.

But hey, maybe I just wasnt satisfying her in the relationship. Maybe that had something to do with her prostitution behind my back, as well.

In an effort to prevent any more hair splitting I would just like to say that horaholic's post is exactly what I am talking about. Leaving the keys in your parked car, acting AFC, being controlling, letting yourself "go", they're all wonderful and valid side points.. but please leave them as they are in reference to this topic, which is-->side points.

Thanks for sharing your story horaholic. It won't let me leave you any more rep so take these instead: :flowers:

My apologies Mr.Me I will be more careful when I quote you in the middle of the night.

 

[dbot]

persistent exaction... maybe you should reread my posts.