People think I'm slow.

[BrandoCommando]

Try reading out loud, keep a good pace or something, and if u havent already read this, I havent read it for a long time but it was in my favorites http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/hall249.htm

If you smile and show confidence, I wouldnt think anyone would think bad about you, but I still a n00b so... my 2 cents

 

[Viper]

Might actually have solved your first problem

1. Stop exploding on people.
2. Record and show us your voice.
3. Try to 'break the ice', if fat people can pick up, so can you!
4. You 'ALWAYS' have time. Check the yellow pages and make a few dirt-cheap calls.

Thing is, I have NO idea how to break the ice. Besides, it's not like I'm actually afraid to approach hot girls(I use to, but I'm not anymore), it's just that I have no idea how to break the ice with them. So nah, I think I'll pass up that fat people thing.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Thing is, I have NO idea how to break the ice. Besides, it's not like I'm actually afraid to approach hot girls(I use to, but I'm not anymore), it's just that I have no idea how to break the ice with them. So nah, I think I'll pass up that fat people thing.

How many times have you said this? Say hi, hello, hows it going, nice shoes, i love you, etc. You ARE to afraid to approach girls, your insecurities are blantly obvious. You complain about your voice after people have given you advice about it multiple times. You say you dont know how to break the ice when thats all it is...BREAKING THE ICE. Breaking the ice isnt having a conversation (which you also cant do). So my question is what CAN you do? People have giving you advice about 1.5 billion times. Stop being a child and be a man, which probably isnt plauseable due to you being 15.

 

[shydude]

TAke some speech classes, and practice at home! remember practice makes perfect. Good luck

 

[Viper]

How many times have you said this? Say hi, hello, hows it going, nice shoes, i love you, etc. You ARE to afraid to approach girls, your insecurities are blantly obvious. You complain about your voice after people have given you advice about it multiple times. You say you dont know how to break the ice when thats all it is...BREAKING THE ICE. Breaking the ice isnt having a conversation (which you also cant do). So my question is what CAN you do? People have giving you advice about 1.5 billion times. Stop being a child and be a man, which probably isnt plauseable due to you being 15.

What are you talking about, I go up to girls and say hey, how's it going, all the time, but that's not in anyway breaking the ice. Secondly stop talking about **** that you don't know, first of all IT'S NOT AN INSECURITY IF MY VOICE IS REALLY SLOW, now if my voice was fine and I thought it was slow, that would be an insecurity, but that's not the case. Plus, if I'm so afraid of approaching girls? How come I do all the time? Exactly, stop talking about **** you know nothing about. And conversation has improved a lot, but there are just some girls that won't open up no matter how well you lead on the conversation. For instance, that Tina girl, I lead on the conversation, but she just didn't open up, I asked "How's your day going" and "Is there any particular reason that it's good?", but the chick just kept replying with one word replies and made me think that I was boring, when she was infact the person who was boring. But come on, any guy can hold a conversation with a girl, if I knew how to break the ice with her and make the girl feel comfortable with me, that would definitely help.

 

[oakraiderz2]

What are you talking about, I go up to girls and say hey, how's it going, all the time, but that's not in anyway breaking the ice. Secondly stop talking about **** that you don't know, first of all IT'S NOT AN INSECURITY IF MY VOICE IS REALLY SLOW, now if my voice was fine and I thought it was slow, that would be an insecurity, but that's not the case. Plus, if I'm so afraid of approaching girls? How come I do all the time? Exactly, stop talking about **** you know nothing about. And conversation has improved a lot, but there are just some girls that won't open up no matter how well you lead on the conversation.

Since im such a retard, what constitutes as "breaking the ice"?

 

[Viper]

Since im such a retard, what constitutes as "breaking the ice"?

Making the girl feel "comfortable" with you.

 

[AC/DC]

Ive been saying this for years. It's not WHAT you say, it's WHO says it.

You can say "hi" to Girl A, and get rejected.
I can say "hi" to the same Girl A, and get a phone number and a date.

Self image and confidence. Screw your voice, who cares?

 

[Docs]

Viper, what the fvck?

And conversation has improved a lot, but there are just some girls that won't open up no matter how well you lead on the conversation. For instance, that Tina girl, I lead on the conversation, but she just didn't open up, I asked "How's your day going" and "Is there any particular reason that it's good?", but the chick just kept replying with one word replies and made me think that I was boring, when she was infact the person who was boring.

It's not us causing your problem, so don't explode on Oak. Not 100% of the people will converse with you, so stop fvcking complaining about how your speech impairment is not a insecurity, when that isn't the problem in the first place.

You either blantly suck at conversation skills or she's not interested. That's done. Stop making yourself look more like a douche attacking other members of the forum about stuff unrelated to your conversation skills like 'my voice is too high' and 'what are you talking about..blahblahblahblah about sh!t you don't even know about'. If you knew what was wrong, you shouldn't be posting. IF you don't know what's wrong, you shouldn't be flaming. You shouldn't be flaming, because you look more like a fag everyday doing it. Think about it.

 

[Viper]

Viper, what the fvck?

It's not us causing your problem, so don't explode on Oak. Not 100% of the people will converse with you, so stop fvcking complaining about how your speech impairment is not a insecurity, when that isn't the problem in the first place.

You either blantly suck at conversation skills or she's not interested. That's done. Stop making yourself look more like a douche attacking other members of the forum about stuff unrelated to your conversation skills like 'my voice is too high' and 'what are you talking about..blahblahblahblah about sh!t you don't even know about'. If you knew what was wrong, you shouldn't be posting. IF you don't know what's wrong, you shouldn't be flaming. You shouldn't be flaming, because you look more like a fag everyday doing it. Think about it.

Wow, I really give a sh*t about what someone on the internet thinks of me. It was definitely the second one, because those are good ways to open up deeper conversation and she just didn't open up. For instance, she could've went much more in-depth about how her day was, then simply saying "good", and that could've expanded into much deeper conversation.

 

[Soupar]

Wow, I really give a sh*t about what someone on the internet thinks of me. It was definitely the second one, because those are good ways to open up deeper conversation and she just didn't open up. For instance, she could've went much more in-depth about how her day was, then simply saying "good", and that could've expanded into much deeper conversation.

Viper, thats totally wrong. You can claim it was her fault for not opening up all you want, but how many times have women actually opened up to you? My guess is very rarely. Like AC/DC said its not what you say but who and how you say it. I could go up to a chick right now and ask "you wanna bang?" Chances are she would say no. If Brad Pitt asked the same lady "you wanna bang" theres a possibility she might say yes. Viper, go read the bible and get some confidence. Like Pook said, be a man, step up, grab your balls, and take other peoples critiques in positive ways.

 

[Viper]

Viper, thats totally wrong. You can claim it was her fault for not opening up all you want, but how many times have women actually opened up to you? My guess is very rarely. Like AC/DC said its not what you say but who and how you say it. I could go up to a chick right now and ask "you wanna bang?" Chances are she would say no. If Brad Pitt asked the same lady "you wanna bang" theres a possibility she might say yes. Viper, go read the bible and get some confidence. Like Pook said, be a man, step up, grab your balls, and take other peoples critiques in positive ways.

Well, it's not like I go up to a women all dull and ****, I give her eye contact, body language and occassionally smile. Still, the thing wasn't that I sucked at conversation, the chick just didn't want to open up, oh well, that's her loss, not mine. Once you have a subject to talk about, conversation isn't really that hard, but if the girl won't give you anything to talk about and you know nothing about the girl, you're forced to either pick topics to talk about. Even if I know something about the random girl, it seems weird going up to a random girl, asking her name and saying, "Ah, I remember you from track/band.".

 

[oakraiderz2]

Making the girl feel "comfortable" with you.

Thats not breaking the ice. Breaking the ice is an analogy for greeting or acknowledging another person. Making her feel comfortable with you is something that requires a few ingrediants. Connect with her, relate to her, and dont be a loser in her eyes.

Well, it's not like I go up to a women all dull and ****, I give her eye contact, body language and occassionally smile. Still, the thing wasn't that I sucked at conversation, the chick just didn't want to open up, oh well, that's her loss, not mine. Once you have a subject to talk about, conversation isn't really that hard, but if the girl won't give you anything to talk about and you know nothing about the girl, you're forced to either pick topics to talk about. Even if I know something about the random girl, it seems weird going up to a random girl, asking her name and saying, "Ah, I remember you from track/band.".

If they dont hold the convo its because theyre not interested in you as a person. Try talking to a girl who would actually be accepting of you. Going up to the semi popular girls at your school isnt gonna get you anywhere because you arent exactly the most popular kid. Try outside of school, that way girls wont know what your reputation is and youll increase your chances of not getting rejected.

 

[ethnomethodologist]

The best advice I can give concerning your problem Viper is that you have to make them WANT to talk to you.

Asking a girl a general question, that NEVER turns into anything fun, is well, boring. Asking boring questions can lead to exciting conversations, that's why it's WHO asks, not WHAT is asked. Well a better way to word it is HOW it is asked.

Don't be too concerned about what you ask a girl. It all depends on whether she enjoys the conversation, and that she looks forward to another. Breaking the ice and making her feel comfortable is all and good, but that's simply saying the girl won't be afraid of you anymore.

A nice touch that is put into seduction these days is the idea that you don't directly talk to the girl. You speak around her, and she desires to hear more of you, so she starts to flirt with you, and she starts to make time to be around you. Simply 'breaking the ice' won't do this to anybody.

I can break the ice with a manager of a bar, and be thrown out the next second. So reword your question, and we can reevaluate your desires.

 

[Viper]

Well, I was on this thing called Pride of the Month, where I was interveiwed and the interveiws are finally up on our schools broadcast station. Needless to say, I watched my particular interview(7 people actually get picked, 1 freshmen, 2 sophomores, 2 juniors and 2 seniors) and while my voice could use a lot of work, it definitely wasn't slow and it was actually quite easy to understand.

 

[Exo]

Good for you man, getting on that interview and all! One of my best friends has a slow voice and is a special program as well. There aint really a lot I can say to help I supose but some/most people seem to be *******s anyway. The wankers making fun of him are usually some wannabe bullies who back down when I show up or some really *weird* kids that seem to find me too stupid sexy ... it's a guy and no breaking his ace doesnt seem to help.

I'm rambling I guess but in a nutshell: **** those losers. They just want something to cover up their own flaws or lack the brains to think of anything else to talk about.

 

[Flabbergasped?]

Sounds like you're seeing some improvement.

Keep working on it, study videos/recordings of yourselves, and fix it accordingly, and you'll be fine.

 

[sjchris]

Viper

Its not that your voice is really slow, its that you've said to yourself conciously and unconciously so many times that your voice is slow that it has become a self fulfilling prophecy. But its not so much in reality as it is in your mind. Look into "self-limiting beliefs" and you'll understand this concept and realize its truthfulness instead of dismissing it as bull****. What you've got to drill deep into your head is the fact that everyone has insecurities. It's not that everyones a perfect person and doesnt have flaws, and your the exception. No. Even if you were a dumbass, LOOK, GIRLS GO FOR DUMBASSES. You think your average jock is a very smart person? Hell no. I've met plenty of people who can barely speak English and can pull *****es. So quit using that as an excuse, you don't need to make any excuses for yourself. You're a man.