Yeah, I guess I could have gotten myself out of the situation but it was like I suggested to her that we drive in her car following everyone else and she agreed but my friends for some stupid reason overly suggested all of us piling into our frineds truck so I didn't wanna try too hard to get us to ride alone. If it was my car it would have been a different story in my opinion. Then again I will keep this in mind if this ever happens again. I treated it as a learning experience.
PEOPLE TEASING YOU--How to deal with it?
- Thread starter otr4
- Start date
GrimPhallic
Don Juan
If they are your friends, you should know something about them... weaknesses, past bad memories, etc. If they insult you on a level where you are mad or sad, open their closet and pull out their skeletons. Take it to a personal level. I personally would try to laugh it off first though as this keeps your DJ/secure status with the girl. Even better, if what they are saying has a meaning behind it, turn to the girl and explain at a somewhat quiet level what your friends are saying to her and why, but make it into a funny story or something. That would be the best thing to do because by turning to her and speaking on a some what quiet level it initiates kino and by making her laugh she will feel comfortable with it...
challenge one of the guys to a fight
go to shake his hand (or some other delay routine)
and then kick him in the nuts
this will make you seem wild and unpredicable, and no-one will start on you again.
TIP: this works well if someone starts on you in prison.
seriously tho, just try turing every insult back on them, like what cant think of a user name said.
I think Soild once used a line in a club to shut a guy up...
"Look mate, I've just asked around and no-one likes you"
classic!
If your fiends are like this tho and you're over 20, it might be time to find some new ones. Although, maybe American guys are like this - I dunno!
go to shake his hand (or some other delay routine)
and then kick him in the nuts
this will make you seem wild and unpredicable, and no-one will start on you again.
TIP: this works well if someone starts on you in prison.
seriously tho, just try turing every insult back on them, like what cant think of a user name said.
I think Soild once used a line in a club to shut a guy up...
"Look mate, I've just asked around and no-one likes you"
classic!
If your fiends are like this tho and you're over 20, it might be time to find some new ones. Although, maybe American guys are like this - I dunno!
Like I said before, ragging back will only escalate the situation and make it worse.
If it doesn't bother you, ignore it. If it does, stand up for yourself (which is different from trying to insult them back).
Either way, sounds like you need new friends ...
If it doesn't bother you, ignore it. If it does, stand up for yourself (which is different from trying to insult them back).
Either way, sounds like you need new friends ...
darthsidious
Banned
(motions you to come closer and presents you with a knife)
backstab those who backstab you.
backstab those who backstab you.
How to Fix this Problem
Realise: When guys hang out or meet together they VIBE. They have fun and joke. Teasing is a natural aspect of this and will happen in any male social circle.
It is your inner confidence that is the problem here.
What naturally happens is each guy in the group is taking it in turns to bust each others balls and determine the pecking order of the group.
Its a dominance thing.
If you are unaware of this then teasing can seem insulting and you'll end up feeling like a chode as your status and self-esteem is lowered.
What happens as a result of this:
1. You'll feel beta (not good for you)
2. You'll feel and look unattractive to female observers.
3. Your accusers (guys giving you beef) will look cool.
You can easily COUNTER this effect by:
1. Agreeing on anything that is said and then "Upsurping the Glory".
A nice trick is to do this simply by saying "YES, AND" to whatever is said.
For example:
Guy:"Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND, and i am so retarded that i spit more than you do!"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND i left my wheelchair outside! Carry Me! (jump on him)"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND you should see how i run!"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND {insert whatever comes to mind}
Do this with a GRIN and be light hearted.
-What's happening here is you are owning your accusers' frame.
This is achieved by making fun of yourself to steal his glory from the JIBE
If you do this you are enhancing what has been said- much to the delight of the group.
1. You gain points.
2. People subconciuosly notice.
3. They realise they can joke with you and that i) you hold your own ii) bring value to the group
2. Appreciate the fact that BLOCKING what is said (by taking offence or giving beef back) is often detrimental to your own value.
When you block the natural flow ("the vibe") of the interaction, by "ragging" or taking offence you are losing status and your self-control. This is an overcompensation of insecurity.
So, understand that you are NOT accepting what they are saying (by just smiling or saying nothing) and you are not rejecting it (by taking insult).
>>>>>You are ENHANCING it.<<<<<<
Jesters, some of the most powerful people in the old medieval courts, had this whole idea down to a tee.
Doing this will avoid scenarios like fights because you agreeing with the insult for your own purpose.
3. Realise that a retort isnt about what you say -but how you say it.
I would always try and think of clever things to throw back at people to the point where the moment had passed.
Instead you can thow -ANYTHING- back.
Guy: "Dude you look like a cripple"
You: "Yes! And i smell like cabbage- take a sniff"
Let your unblocked imagination fill in the blanks.
Guy: "Dude you look like a cripple"
You: "Yes! And............"
4. Dimiss what is said by rolling your eyes and turning your back on you accuser.
This subcommunicates you don't care. Add a dimmisive wave also for bonus effect.
5. If you really want to maintain your dominace over the accuser, TOUCH HIM as you speak . A simple pat on the arm is sufficent.
6. In conclusion, these are just a
few little tricks.
A better method is to FIX this problem on the inside of your head. These tricks you work as props for you until you do.
Realise that each time you are getting teased is a chance to shine and raise your own value within the group.
If you do this you probably command a status that removes you from these types of game anyhow. How Ironic!
Have fun with these guys and do not taking anything personally. These are natural tests to expose a persons insecurities.
If you ARE HAVING FUN you cannot lose.
If you vibe with them you will increase your status in the group.
***
Additional Scenario:
'Suppose you are chatting to a girl and a guy comes over and starts to make fun of you. - What then??
~He is trying to expose your insecurities to lower your value infront to the girl- and boost his.
Do exactly the same thing as described previous. Roll with his jokes, touch him and laugh.
If it is in a lound environment, use the power of touch.
By vibing with him you are showing the girl you are socially savvy and...cool. You'll probably also befriend the guy (guys without insecurities often like other guys without insecurities).
Hope this helps, maggots!
Realise: When guys hang out or meet together they VIBE. They have fun and joke. Teasing is a natural aspect of this and will happen in any male social circle.
It is your inner confidence that is the problem here.
What naturally happens is each guy in the group is taking it in turns to bust each others balls and determine the pecking order of the group.
Its a dominance thing.
If you are unaware of this then teasing can seem insulting and you'll end up feeling like a chode as your status and self-esteem is lowered.
What happens as a result of this:
1. You'll feel beta (not good for you)
2. You'll feel and look unattractive to female observers.
3. Your accusers (guys giving you beef) will look cool.
You can easily COUNTER this effect by:
1. Agreeing on anything that is said and then "Upsurping the Glory".
A nice trick is to do this simply by saying "YES, AND" to whatever is said.
For example:
Guy:"Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND, and i am so retarded that i spit more than you do!"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND i left my wheelchair outside! Carry Me! (jump on him)"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND you should see how i run!"
Guy: "Hey dude you look like a cripple"
You: "YES AND {insert whatever comes to mind}
Do this with a GRIN and be light hearted.
-What's happening here is you are owning your accusers' frame.
This is achieved by making fun of yourself to steal his glory from the JIBE
If you do this you are enhancing what has been said- much to the delight of the group.
1. You gain points.
2. People subconciuosly notice.
3. They realise they can joke with you and that i) you hold your own ii) bring value to the group
2. Appreciate the fact that BLOCKING what is said (by taking offence or giving beef back) is often detrimental to your own value.
When you block the natural flow ("the vibe") of the interaction, by "ragging" or taking offence you are losing status and your self-control. This is an overcompensation of insecurity.
So, understand that you are NOT accepting what they are saying (by just smiling or saying nothing) and you are not rejecting it (by taking insult).
>>>>>You are ENHANCING it.<<<<<<
Jesters, some of the most powerful people in the old medieval courts, had this whole idea down to a tee.
Doing this will avoid scenarios like fights because you agreeing with the insult for your own purpose.
3. Realise that a retort isnt about what you say -but how you say it.
I would always try and think of clever things to throw back at people to the point where the moment had passed.
Instead you can thow -ANYTHING- back.
Guy: "Dude you look like a cripple"
You: "Yes! And i smell like cabbage- take a sniff"
Let your unblocked imagination fill in the blanks.
Guy: "Dude you look like a cripple"
You: "Yes! And............"
4. Dimiss what is said by rolling your eyes and turning your back on you accuser.
This subcommunicates you don't care. Add a dimmisive wave also for bonus effect.
5. If you really want to maintain your dominace over the accuser, TOUCH HIM as you speak . A simple pat on the arm is sufficent.
6. In conclusion, these are just a
few little tricks.
A better method is to FIX this problem on the inside of your head. These tricks you work as props for you until you do.
Realise that each time you are getting teased is a chance to shine and raise your own value within the group.
If you do this you probably command a status that removes you from these types of game anyhow. How Ironic!
Have fun with these guys and do not taking anything personally. These are natural tests to expose a persons insecurities.
If you ARE HAVING FUN you cannot lose.
If you vibe with them you will increase your status in the group.
***
Additional Scenario:
'Suppose you are chatting to a girl and a guy comes over and starts to make fun of you. - What then??
~He is trying to expose your insecurities to lower your value infront to the girl- and boost his.
Do exactly the same thing as described previous. Roll with his jokes, touch him and laugh.
If it is in a lound environment, use the power of touch.
By vibing with him you are showing the girl you are socially savvy and...cool. You'll probably also befriend the guy (guys without insecurities often like other guys without insecurities).
Hope this helps, maggots!
Last edited:
PVSSY-EATER
Banned
Mukester, simply awesome
Mukester that was awesome dude..........
I do what you say all the time, but know I understand WHY it works. Can you do me a favor?
If you are reading this, it seems like you may know something about self-defense and street fighting as well, can you do a good post on that for your old buddy Pvssy Eater, huh, huh, huh.....
you Steve Nash looking idiot!
(I am testing to see if you have any insecurities with that joke....haha, thats humor dawg, but fo real, can you do a post)
Mukester that was awesome dude..........
I do what you say all the time, but know I understand WHY it works. Can you do me a favor?
If you are reading this, it seems like you may know something about self-defense and street fighting as well, can you do a good post on that for your old buddy Pvssy Eater, huh, huh, huh.....
you Steve Nash looking idiot!
(I am testing to see if you have any insecurities with that joke....haha, thats humor dawg, but fo real, can you do a post)
it happens occasionally to every 1 i think
usually if it happens to me, i do 1 of 2 things
1. I clown on them back, but in a funny way, and usually something that makes what they were saying look like nothing, they usually ain't got the wit to think up something straight away, that puts them back on top
2. If i cant top what there saying abt me, I just make a lil fun of myself, and laugh it off with them, when they see i'm laughin at it myself, they see that I ain't bothered and leave it.
usually if it happens to me, i do 1 of 2 things
1. I clown on them back, but in a funny way, and usually something that makes what they were saying look like nothing, they usually ain't got the wit to think up something straight away, that puts them back on top
2. If i cant top what there saying abt me, I just make a lil fun of myself, and laugh it off with them, when they see i'm laughin at it myself, they see that I ain't bothered and leave it.
Delta Male
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
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- Age
- 39
Everybody on this forum should go back and read Mukester's reply about five times. Excellent post.
If you take offence or try to start a fight, you are subcommunicating that you are insecure. If you are confident and take what is said as a JOKE, and respond accordingly, you will be fine.
-Dan
If you take offence or try to start a fight, you are subcommunicating that you are insecure. If you are confident and take what is said as a JOKE, and respond accordingly, you will be fine.
-Dan
Yeah Mukester post is spot on.
I just realised I do something that seems to work well in most situations:
If someone taunts you in any way, just look at them and say "Thanks" and smile. Maybe even give em a hi-five or thumbs up. Normally does the trick. Even gets a laugh sometimes, esp when done if a girl is testing you.
With my close friends I like to use "Hey man, you say the nicest things" - used that today
If some is being sarcastic towards you e.g
"Hey man, that hair cut is soooooo cOOOOOOOOOOOL"
Just take it literally and say "Cheers dude" and smile again. Completely takes them off balance.
No need to try so hard, cos at the end of the day, i dont really give a sh1t what they think anyway. heh.
If someone is really pissing you off, stare at them until they look away. If violence aint your thing, just walk away. If anyone asks, he wasn't worth the time or energy.
I just realised I do something that seems to work well in most situations:
If someone taunts you in any way, just look at them and say "Thanks" and smile. Maybe even give em a hi-five or thumbs up. Normally does the trick. Even gets a laugh sometimes, esp when done if a girl is testing you.
With my close friends I like to use "Hey man, you say the nicest things" - used that today
If some is being sarcastic towards you e.g
"Hey man, that hair cut is soooooo cOOOOOOOOOOOL"
Just take it literally and say "Cheers dude" and smile again. Completely takes them off balance.
No need to try so hard, cos at the end of the day, i dont really give a sh1t what they think anyway. heh.
If someone is really pissing you off, stare at them until they look away. If violence aint your thing, just walk away. If anyone asks, he wasn't worth the time or energy.
Excellent advice. It makes them look like they have to lash out at you to cope with their lives, rather than cope with it themselves. I know because sometimes people give me flack about things, and this response takes them for surprise...they get floundered and don't know what to do.
I was gonna post a reply but Mukester beat me to it
Remember - with real friends you'll be part of the joke, not the joke itself. (i.e. the teasing naturally won't bother you.)
Remember - a girl judges you by the friends you keep. So don't make friends with pricks.
Remember - with real friends you'll be part of the joke, not the joke itself. (i.e. the teasing naturally won't bother you.)
Remember - a girl judges you by the friends you keep. So don't make friends with pricks.
darthsidious
Banned
kick them in the balls
it is the only...option
it is the only...option