People bad mouthing behind your back.

[Reykhel]

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Oscar Wilde

I heard a wise man define what is suffering: Burning energy on the uncontrollable.....

I like Stephen Covey's take on this.......he believes in building your character, grounded in principles.....

One of those principles is not gossiping or not talking about people behind their back........his "solution" for when people start badmouthing
people to you.........is to say "what can we do to help them?" What this does is build trust .....the person who started the badmouthing should know and should wake up to the fact that if somebody badmouthed them behind their back with you.........you would not badmouth them......thus building trust all around and making you a respectful and trustworthy character........

What has this got to do with your situation? If these people have not reached this stage of enlightenment and personal growth.............maybe they are deserving of your compassion......

 

[BraddH]

They are jealous, it doesn't mean that it's a good thing tough.

 

[Tenacity]

3 years ago , i used to be a big virgin loser that nobody wanted to go out with , didn't cared about anything and i was to afraid of showing myself in front of people.
Fast forward today and I'm the complete opposite of all these things and people have noticed all these changes.Still ,there are some details in me that are still there but I'm trying to fix it aswell.
They propably hate the fact that I was able to improve myself into something better than them and they remained exactly the same as when i knew them back then. The only thing that I'm glad for is that ,from now on , they see me as a challenge and as an example for themselves to become better. I'm really optimistic and really interested to see how it will turned out to be. I see it also myself as a challenge to not remain the same as I'm now but to not let them become better than me or find some other better people and overtake them aswell.

Well, let me give you some 100% TRUTH, no Manosphere/Sosuave cartoon shyt about how "you shouldn't give a fvck what anybody thinks".

People are going to TALK about you for one of the following reasons:

- You are kicking a.ss in life and they are jealous they can't have the life you have (i.e., why people talk shyt about Beyonce)

- You are a loser in life in general, or some aspect of life, and you're an easy target to roast (i.e., why people talk shyt about Charlie Sheen).

- You have done something to piss off people, and thus they want to talk shyt about you (i.e., why people talk shyt about Donald Trump due to his "supposed" racist comments).

- People see you as a guy that they can have a light-hearted roast session with (i.e., being a part of a football team and the roasting that goes on in the lockerroom)

So which category do you fall in? I'm NOT the type of person that says that what people say/think about you doesn't matter, actually what CERTAIN people think of you DOES MATTER.

- Anonymous trolls on the internet don't matter, so if they say positive or negative things about you, it really has not affect on anything.

- What prospective customers and clients think about you DOES matter. If you do something to piss them off, then that affects your income stream and livelihood.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Well, let me give you some 100% TRUTH, no Manosphere/Sosuave cartoon shyt about how "you shouldn't give a fvck what anybody thinks".

- What prospective customers and clients think about you DOES matter. If you do something to piss them off, then that affects your income stream and livelihood.

1) Why do you mix "social" with "financial" behavior? Two different animals.

2) Socially, why do others' opinions of you matter.

 

[Tenacity]

1) Why do you mix "social" with "financial" behavior? Two different animals.

2) Socially, why do others' opinions of you matter.

Good question. The reason I do it is because in the world we operate in today, there's really no separation between your BUSINESS self and your PERSONAL self these days.

- Most jobs are found through your personal network of friends, associates, colleagues, etc. So that ties in your business self with your personal self.

- Most Employers look you up on personal websites like Facebook and other media sites to see how your personal life is, to make a determination on if they want to hire you in a business setting.

It's also why guys say they won't post their pics on here, they don't want business related people to find them on this site which could come off as controversial.

So to put this back into context, SOCIALLY if all my friends see me as a lazy loser....because many jobs are found through personal networks, they might not recommend me for particular jobs or tip me off on them when they come up. If my friends see me as smart, hard-working, etc. for the most part, then the opposite happens.

Even to break this notion down further in terms of "not giving a fvck socially".......it's just not honest. It's a popular macho lingo to say, but it's not honest. If you really didn't give a fvck, you wouldn't put as much time into your appearance and you probably wouldn't WASH your a.ss in the morning. People began washing their a.ss and taking up after their appearance when other people began to BAN them from partcular social circles due to smelling/looking like shyt.

Do you understand where I'm getting at here?

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Tenacity, it's a mistake to tie your social to your business networking. They should remain disparate, only because now you become a slave to your "friends" as well. Not a comfortable place to position yourself. Ever heard the expression, "Business is business." You can destroy personal relationships due to business decisions that you make, as business is strictly the pursuit of your financial interests, which often sever, and thus you lose a business ally and a friend. Not too smart.

As to the "I don't give a fvck" mantra: You workout, and keep good hygiene simply to maximize your SMV so that YOU can pick and choose the contenders that YOU want out of the market. So you are doing it for YOUR acquirement of them, not for THEM. Do you recognize this distinction? Sure, tending to the market matters for YOU to acquire maximum benefit, but other than that, if you have already done the legwork and maximized your SMV, why do their individual opinions matter anymore?