PDubb's FR Journal

[PDubb75]

I am going to try to document more of my approaches and field reports here. This is mostly for me, but also hoping others can benefit if anyone cares to read them. Feel free to comment with any critique, feedback, whatever.

I'll try to update this fairly regularly. Both good and bad. Won't do all of them, though. Ok, here we go:


Went out Saturday night with my buddy, his new girl, and 2 of his friends. I was frustrated with some recent nights out of no (good) approaches, so I was pretty pumped to try and reverse that. Right away, we are walking towards these two really cute girls (a 7.5, and an easy 8 in my book). I'm trying to listen to what they are saying and one of them asks the other where this bar is. So as I was walking by, I said "it's this way. I'm on my way there right now". So we start talking a bit and the hotter one (Megan) starts pushing me by my arm and saying she's gonna "fvck me up" if I'm lying to her, and asks if I can take them there. I said "only if you two can hang with us doing shots". Megan tells me it's her 21st birthday and she's meeting friends at this bar, and they start following me.

Get to the bar and there is a line. I start stepping up the kino a bit. Putting my hand on her lower back as I'm talking to her, playing with her necklace, etc. She's not moving away at all, at one point starts rubbing my back, my arms, and my head. She randomly mentioned that her boyfriend just broke up with her. Then one of my buddy's friends tried to c0ckblock me and busted in on the convo, but she wasn't having it. Kept talking to me, telling the bouncer she just made a new friend and he needs to let me in with them. Didn't work. He said he couldn't let 7 people in at once, and I didn't wanna be that desperate dude ditching his friend like that for a girl he just met. So, she grabs my hand and tells me to come find her in the back.

We finally get in there and I'm just walking to the back, see her on the way and just kinda tickle her side. She turns and gives me a hug, and I just kept walking past her. She followed us, so I talked to her for a minute until she went back to her friends.

Little while later she comes back over where me and the two guys my buddy brought were standing. Now, these two guys are both insanely ripped and have girls constantly telling them how hot they are. So, the other guy tried c0ckblocking me this time. This is the bigger, better looking guy. I'll be honest, I thought my chance was gone at this point. Next thing I know, she's grinding her ass against me, dancing with me, and completely ignored him. We all got on the subject of those shots we were talking about, and she said she wanted a birthday shot. Gold-Digger red flag started creeping in, so I made sure to be careful here.

After some talk, I told her I would get the first round, grabbed her hand and lead her to the bar. Turned to her and said "Only problem... I only buy shots for girls that are good kissers." She gives me this little smile and says "So, you are saying you want to kiss me?" and I just said "Hey, I'm just following the rules..." So she gives me a peck on the lips. I asked her if she was my grandma, and what the hell that was. Bartender asks me what I want so I ordered the drinks, turned back to her and said "I can easily give this to my buddy, I know he's a good kisser". She laughs, grabs the drink, we take the shot and she says to me "I really shouldn't, though. I have a boyfriend." I said to her "We just met, and you are already lying to me? You told me outside you just broke up" and she's like "but we still love eachother". So I give her this little smile and went in for the kiss, she grabs me and starts making out with me.

So she heads back to her friends, I head back to mine. We decide we are going to head out. I knew this chick wasn't leaving her friends, so it was time to move out. So I start walking by her and she says "Are you leaving!?!?!" and I said "yeah, what's your number?" and she takes my phone and puts her number in.

What I learned:
- Stop thinking and start doing. Too many times when trying to open I sit back and debate what to say, how to say it, when to say it. When I do what I did here and simply rush in the second I have an opportunity, it always ends better. Just need to stop psyching myself out.

 

[macallik]

Looking forward to reading the journal and seeing another perspective from the Windy City. Congrats on starting the journal

 

[PDubb75]

I have been ridiculously busy, mostly from looking into new jobs and a new apartment, so my approaching time during the week has been drastically cut down. I made a promise to myself that I would approach more, which is why I started this journal, hoping it gave me yet another push.

So just to keep some momentum going, I tried to step my convo up a bit with one of the girls working at the spa at my gym. She's cute as hell with an insane body. One of those girls you can just tell would be a lot of fun in bed. However, I know she has a boyfriend, and she's only 20 years old. Whatever, I'm just having fun right?

Background: The first day when I went to her (~ 4 months ago) to schedule a haircut appointment she asked for my name. Now, my last name is mispronounced by EVERYONE. No one can seem to get it right the first few times. She was telling me how awesome and unique it was. Next time I saw her was a week later and she yells out "Hey ____ _______!!" (full name... pronounced perfectly). I was shocked. I started busting on her for stalking me or something, saying there was no way she could memorize that. That was basically the extent of any "flirting" or anything until about 2 weeks ago.

I bought a small tanning package a while back (not very proud of that, but I rarely go and I look good haha). I went to tan late last week and she asked if I wanted to try a different bed and she wouldn't charge me the extra points. I figured why not? So she says "Here, I'll come back with you so I can show you how this works since it's kinda different." I was staring at her ass the entire time she was bent over the tanning bed, and I have no idea what she was explaining to me. I asked her if this was gonna make me burn, and she hesitantly said no. I gave her this look like "thanks, that makes me feel better" and she just kinda giggled and walked out closing the door.

This Monday I get back to the gym and she started up a convo with me as I walked in. So I sat down there and I said "So, I didn't burn from the bed here, but I burned at the pool yesterday." And she says "That's crazy! You have such a nice tan, I'm shocked you burned. At least you didn't burn in the bed I suggested!" And I said "Yeah, good thing for you, because I know where you work." And she got this huge smile and she's like "Nooo!!! Don't come after me!!" And I just laughed and walked away to go start my workout.

Now she doesn't let me walk by without starting a convo with me. I didn't get there yesterday and my roommate said he talked to her for a minute and I was brought up. I guess she was jokingly complaining that I was a bad salesman because I didn't convince my roommate to buy tanning points from her.

Not exactly sure how to, or if I should, do anything with this. Knowing she's really young, has a boyfriend, and works every day at the gym I go to nearly every day is enough for me to think "don't do anything". But I am getting some signs. I guess I will just keep escalating and see where it goes for now.

Like I said, really nothing to this, and I don't even consider this a field report. But, I wanted to put something down here, and with my only free time being at the gym, this was all I could share for now. Will get back to actual approaches this weekend!

What I learned:
- My desire to fvck this girl skyrocketed in the last week. That's all I got here haha. This section doesn't work so well when it's not a true FR.

 

[SoSuave666]

These chicks are paid to flirt to get repeat service. Although, she seems very friendly and such. I'd proceed with caution, but proceed for sure.

Good luck on the FR bro, like you and Bradd I have recently started a FR thread which I'm updating. Hopefully it will start a trend.

 

[PDubb75]

These chicks are paid to flirt to get repeat service. Although, she seems very friendly and such. I'd proceed with caution, but proceed for sure.

Good luck on the FR bro, like you and Bradd I have recently started a FR thread which I'm updating. Hopefully it will start a trend.

Thanks, man! I have been reading your journal, too. Keep it up! It will push me to keep updating this.

And about them being paid to be friendly, I'm not so sure that really comes into play here. I'm really friendly with a lot of the employees there, and have even started hanging out with some of them outside of the gym. So, with everyone else it hasn't stopped at making a sale. And she even made a comment at the time she was convincing me to make my roommate buy tanning points. She said "I'm not even gonna ask you to buy because I know you still have a lot of points". If she's trying to make a sale, that's not something you want to be saying. We will see... I'm not putting much stock into this, and aside from this post, not much thought either.

 

[PDubb75]

So, I had plans to head downtown tonight and last minute they got cancelled. By then, most of my usual group of friends had left to do their thing for the night. Let's just say I was not in a good mood, realizing I was probably gonna end up doing nothing tonight.

Get a call from a buddy saying he's heading to this bar that's right by my house if I want to head by. This bar is pretty cool, considering it has over 600 beers to choose from, live music, and good outdoor area, but it's extremely relaxed and usually a much older crowd. But, it was much better than sitting at home, so I decided to go.

It was me, 2 of my buddies, and one of my buddy's fiance. So we are just sitting outside, drinking and talking, and my buddy's fiance tells me that this woman keeps looking over at me. So, I'm trying to start paying attention, and we make eye contact a few times. I gave her a little smile and she looked away, so I wasn't too sure if she was interested. But whenever I would look at her she was looking at me. Sometimes holding her stare, sometimes immediately looking away. Figured why not, and I go up and talk to her. Her friend had left to go to the bathroom so she was sitting alone when I approached.

I didn't know until she started talking, but she was European, I would guess early 30's, and about a 7.5 on my scale (very good shape, nice tan skin, pretty face). I'm trying to start a convo with her and it was just not catching on. I couldn't tell if she wasn't interested, nervous, or what. She was giving very generic answers, but keeping eye contact and smiling sometimes. Very mixed signals.

For whatever reason, this conversation was just boring me to death. Her friend got back from the bathroom and she introduced me, but I was done. Couldn't push this any further. I told them I should get back to my friends and told them to have a good night.

By this point, the place was shutting down and it had really emptied out. Not many people left. Then my friends decided to leave, so that was the end of that. Proud of my myself for the approach, since I had not been doing too well with that, but overall a very disappointing night, all things considered.

What I learned:
- Better to make a move than wonder if you should have. I wasn't too sure if she was interested, but the fact that I approached gave me closure of the situation. It didn't work out at all, but if I did nothing, I would be sitting here now thinking "what if". It's much better to know the truth, good or bad, than it is to regret a lack of action.
- Not everyone is worth your time. I thought she was really cute, but once we started talking, this woman was so dull and boring. Too many of us (I am guilty) put so much pressure on ourselves to make a good impression on a woman. Truth is, many women are simply not worth it. I didn't even try to push this any further because I no longer had an interest in her. A few years ago, if I even had the balls to approach her, I would be digging so deep to try and make something happen. Now, I realized that I can do better, and I have no reason to pressure myself to deal with someone so bland. Next...

 

[PDubb75]

Friday 8/3/12:

Met up with my best wing man, wearing my favorite shirt, great mindset, and in a great mood. Could not wait to get to the bar. Of course, we get there and it's completely dead inside. I had never seen this place like this, especially considering a local radio station was having a party there. But we stuck around, figuring it would pick up a bit, and eventually it did.

I didn't get off to a great start, as far as pickups go. But, I was approaching, so I didn't let it get to me. Our bartender had a thing for my buddy, so she kept coming over to talk to us. That made some of my approaches extremely easy, since all of the girls were coming up there to get drinks. It was easy to work them into any convo my friend and I were having with the bartender while she made their drinks.

Having a great time, but no luck as far as finding a girl. End of the night getting pretty close, and I said to my friend "I wanna make out with someone. Pick a girl." He points and we walk over. No idea what he said to her, but she seemed to have no interest. Pretty *****y expression and seemed to be just waiting to reject me. My friend gives me this look like "yikes" and walks away...

I was a bit too drunk to remember what I said to her (unfortunately) but we were making out about 30 seconds later. My buddy and the bartender were hysterically laughing. When I walked back over there he says "Dude... what the FVCK did you say to her!?!? How did you do that!??" I wish I knew...

But back to the interaction. I can't remember much, but I know she asked me where I lived and made some comment about how far it was. I told her I was staying at my friend's place and she said she had to drive her friends home. I don't remember how, but somehow her name and number got into my phone. I blame my friend for this memory loss haha... He keeps surprising me with shots whenever we go to this place, because they are cheap. Gets me wasted every time.

I texted her as we were driving home. Once I got back to his place, I'm about to pass out and she calls me. So I pick up... half dead. Don't remember much of what we talked about, but at one point she said "If you are just looking for some girl to hook up with, I'm not that girl." I said "OH!.. ok" and I hung up. Went to sleep.

Wake up to a text in the morning "Cranky, much?" I said "No, I'm good. I thought you don't text." and she said "Well, you hung up on me!" I ignored that and changed the subject. Only a couple more messages. Texts me throughout the day. I replied to about half of them. Text convo Sat night:

Her: I'm getting dragged to ____ (bar I met her at the night before) again. Ugh!
Me: At least you are consistent!
Her: And I have to drive. Kinda sucks
Me: Who you gonna kiss there tonight?
Her: You kissed me...
Me: You didn't stop me
Her: Well, I mean... it kinda happened quickly... and you were kinda a good kisser soo....
(I didn't respond)
Her: I'm so bored. And sober.
Me: Perfect. Orgy starts at my place in 45 minutes. Hurry up!
Her: Eww
Me: My bad. I mistook you for someone with a sense of humor. Goodnight.

Then she called me. I didn't answer.

Called me last night and it was actually a decent conversation. The texts and everything had me pretty much writing this one off (on account of her being weird as hell), but I may still try to work something. She seemed really interested by the end of the convo, and brought up that maybe I should meet up with her for her birthday in a few weeks. She seems a little crazy, 21 years old, lives about an hour from me... so if anything, just going for a fvck...

What I learned:
- My game has greatly improved. It used to be that if I ever got the balls to approach a girl, it would end up being a "lesson learned" and no number close, kiss close, anything. Lately, as long as I approach, I have walked away with at least something. Not every girl, but every night. What really made me realize that I have improved, was this kiss/number close. I was so drunk that I don't even know what I said, and I still made it happen, only 30 seconds after my friend thought I was screwed. Now I just wish I know what I said...

 

[PDubb75]

Friday 8/10/12:

I ended up at the same bar I was at for my previous FR. It was a lot less crowded than last week, and I just wasn't feeling it at much. But, like last week, we decided to wait it out and see if it picked up again. It never picked up much, and since this bar was in the suburbs there were not many decent bar options to head to.

Ya know... I was gonna type this whole thing out, but it's a lot easier to say: crash and burn. I made a lot of approaches with very little success. Wasn't my night. But the only discouraging thing is they weren't even attractive girls. I was consistently getting turned down by 6s and 7s I wasn't even that interested in. Oh well, still had a fun night with my friends.

On the bright side: I made more 2 set and 3 set approaches than I ever have before.

It also isn't bothering me as much, because I'll be seeing the woman from this FR tonight: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195766

What I learned:
- You can't win 'em all. Everyone is going to have a rough night. The most important thing is to not get hung up on your lows.

 

[csycpr]

What I learned:
- You can't win 'em all. Everyone is going to have a rough night. The most important thing is to not get hung up on your lows.

Good journal, PDubb, and some good pointers. I particularly like this one. It's so easy to agree with it beforehand but not always the first thing that comes to mind when your caught in the middle of it.

 

[PDubb75]

Thanks csycpr. Glad someone else is getting something out of this.

Wednesday 8/15/12:

Went out with a girl from OKCupid for a happy hour. Face was cute like it showed in her pics, but she looked heavier. On the (somewhat) plus side, it was mostly in the right places. This girl is half Italian half black, and I'll rate her a 6.

She initiated contact with me about a week ago, and let's just say that this had been so easy. She would initiated contact each day, clearly get excited when I showed any interest, and was obviously a little disappointed when I told her how busy I was over the weekend (cause the cougar was in town) and didn't have time to meet up.

So she texts me this morning:
Her: Hi PDubb! How is your day going?
Me: Crazy busy day! I need a drink. Lets meet up after work.
Her: wow! look who finally made time for me! I must take advantage of this opportunity! hehe
Her: Where and when?
Me: 6:00 at ______.
Her: K Looking forward to it! I won't be a lame ass... nor do I have one (In reference to me calling her a lame ass last night for something)
Me: Hmm.. prove it.
Her: I can have my moments, I just need an opportunity to showcase them.
Me: Your personality or your ass?
Her: LMAO! My personality! Someone sure has their head in the gutter this morning. But umm... ok

So, we get there, and of course, our waitress is the waitress at this place that I have been trying to game. Which is the only reason I didn't want to go to this place. Oh well... So, conversation is good. One thing I always worry about is keeping the convo flowing. I have really worked on that aspect of my game, and I had zero issues with that tonight. She was telling me some story and I put my hand on her knee. She got this smile and stopped talking. I asked why she stopped and she said she lost her train of thought, and started thinking about something else. I asked what she was thinking of and she kinda giggled and said "I can't tell you that...yet". So, from that point on I went pretty heavy with the kino, took it even further to see how far she would let me go, considering we were sitting in a public place. I basically went as far as I felt comfortable going. She simply wasn't stopping me.

So we start to head out and we walk to her car. As soon as we got there I turned her around and kissed her. She got real into it, arms around my neck, pressed up against me, moaning and sucking on my lip. I'm feeling her up and she starts moving her hands down. I'm getting hard as hell so I stopped kissing her and just pressed my d!ck up against her. She started moaning and pulling me into her, grabbing my arms, telling me how sexy I am. Get a little interrupted by a family coming to their car right next to us. So I tell her to come over. She seemed really upset with the fact that she couldn't (she mentioned earlier that she had to be home by 10. She's 23 and still lives with her parents and apparently still needs to go by their "rules" . Had to tell them she was at a job interview. Weird, I know, but whatever I guess).

So we start saying goodbye and she starts jerking me off. So I said we should go into her car and I just kinda looked into her back seat. She clearly wanted to, but was sticking to her plan of needing to get home. She says to me "I want to so bad. It's just getting late. Remember, I'm a lame ass. So, I guess it's on you to make this happen another time. You know, whenever you can make time for me. I'm usually not busy, so just let me know when."

Now, I know I can do better than this girl, looks-wise. So, it puts a slight damper on all of this. But the fact is, I consider myself to have fairly high standards, and I would (and will) fvck her. So, still a win in my book. Or at least will be.

Fun fact: The cougar was texting me as this chick was jerking me off in the parking lot haha.

What I Learned:
- Escalate physically! This isn't the BEST example, because it's clear how much she wants me, so it's a given, but having the confidence to show what you want generally pays off. It does nothing to be timid. Go for it!
- Not exactly a "new" revelation, as it's obvious, and I have dealt with the situation before, so more just a comment. It's RIDICULOUS how easy this is when the girl wants you.

 

[Fly By Night]

Nice! She exactly reminds me of this chick from high school that literally tried everything to get me in her bed. Sad part was that I was the lame ass. Nice FRs though, you got some vag insurance that night.

 

[PDubb75]

Friday 8/17/12:

So my plans for the night fell through. Figured I would call up the girl from Wednesday (Post #10). As I figured, without hesitation she asked when she should be here and what we were gonna do. I told her "Come around 9, we can watch a movie." She responds "lol. watch a movie. suuuure!"

So she gets here, I'm still not very impressed with her physically, but at this point... oh well. After we talked with my roommate for a bit, we went into the living room and her hands are already all over me. We get about 15 minutes into the movie and she says she wants to go to my room. Things escalate pretty quickly. Ended up fvcking her 4 times before the second movie ended.

Then the bomb drops. She brings up being exclusive. WHOA!!! Talk about out of nowhere.

Me: What happened to that whole "cuddle buddy" thing?
Her: Well, I'm not a booty call. I want like... exclusive cuddle buddy
Me: I'm not looking for that, especially after just meeting you 2 days ago.
Her: Hm... well, I guess it can be cuddle buddies for now. Until you are ready to talk more about this.

Well, I guess that's over haha. Not a chance I want to date this chick. No way. Her deep-throating skills are by far the best I've had, but that's not nearly enough. She stayed over because we were drinking, but I'm gonna have to cut this off.

What I Learned:
- I still need to work on framing an interaction to set the right expectations. Apparently I did not do a good job of that here.
- I can't settle for looks anymore. I couldn't enjoy this as much because I just wasn't getting into it. I'm fine with an extended period without sex, if that's what it means.

 

[Droz88]

Wow man props on making the approaches. I've enjoyed reading your FR's. One thing I would add is to try to pick up women during the day in your normal routine. Over the last 2-3 years I made most of my approaches in bars and never really got anywhere. Just this last week I did all day game and have had way better results. But you seem like youre building comfort well but I didn't get the impression that you were building attraction much? Maybe i'm wrong about that though.

Yeah I too meet a 5-6 off of match.com. I'm supposed to go over to her house tomorrow (8/19) to watch a movie and so she can show me her horses. Hopefully I'll finally get laid and end my dry spell!

 

[cordoncordon]

Enjoy reading these. Please continue.

And you have a great city to sarge in...Chicago. I used to spend summers there as in intern working on the board of Trade, and then later as an Options Trader. Lived in Naperville. WoW I love that city.

Good luck.

 

[PDubb75]

Wow man props on making the approaches. I've enjoyed reading your FR's. One thing I would add is to try to pick up women during the day in your normal routine. Over the last 2-3 years I made most of my approaches in bars and never really got anywhere. Just this last week I did all day game and have had way better results. But you seem like youre building comfort well but I didn't get the impression that you were building attraction much? Maybe i'm wrong about that though.

Yeah I too meet a 5-6 off of match.com. I'm supposed to go over to her house tomorrow (8/19) to watch a movie and so she can show me her horses. Hopefully I'll finally get laid and end my dry spell!

Appreciate it Droz. Day game is for sure my next focus for improvement. It's difficult when my work day takes up 7am-6pm, and then I go to the gym, though. By the time I get home and have dinner, not much is going on during week days. On weekends I do a little better, but have yet to really get into it, as far as asking for numbers. Mostly just small talk trying to get my feet wet with it.

About building attracting, 70% of the convos with this chick were sexual. She jerked me off in a parking lot the day we met and fvcked me 15 minutes after walking in my door. With multiple texts in between asking when she could come over to finish what she started. I would say I built attraction just fine here.

Good luck ending that dry spell! Post a FR to let us know how it goes.

Enjoy reading these. Please continue.

And you have a great city to sarge in...Chicago. I used to spend summers there as in intern working on the board of Trade, and then later as an Options Trader. Lived in Naperville. WoW I love that city.

Good luck.

I absolutely love Chicago and have no plans to leave here. Summers here are absolutely perfect, in my mind. No place I would rather be. Naperville itself has a decent bar scene. Obviously nothing like going into the city, but I've had my fair share of fun out there too. And I will for sure keep posting these. I didn't know if people were reading them or not, but it really helps me get my thoughts together. Extra motivation now knowing people are reading.

 

[PDubb75]

Saturday 8/18/12:

Update: The girl from last night (Post #12): She texts me around noon with "Thanks again for having me over last night. I had a ton of fun . Let's go out again and soon! "

So, I'm thinking that I gotta get out of this, but I just hate being an ******* to girls that are sincerely nice girls. I decide to respond to the text and say something along the lines of I had a good time too, but that comment about being exclusive really threw me off and that I'm not looking for that now.

Her next text basically said she could tell my mood changed after that, but she's not looking to just fool around and she wants something more serious. After 1 more text each, all done! Phew...

FR for Saturday: My sister asks me to come out with her for a friend's birthday. I decided to ask my roommate and this girl he's been seeing to come out, as well as one of my other best friends and his g/f. Last minute, both my roommate and my other buddy bailed on me. I'll be honest, it put me in a sh!tty a$$ mood. Two of the most AFC guys I know getting walked all over by their new girls, with me losing out because of it. Yet again...

I leave in a bad mood, but I'm the kind of person who usually gets over things quickly, and can definitely at least push issues aside to have a good time. So, my sister and I get to this bar. She knew 3 of the 10-12 people, and I didn't know anyone. One cute girl, but she was with one of the guys, so no prospects for me there. First bar was packed, insanely loud, and really left no room for approaching. Luckily the guy celebrating his birthday decided to head somewhere else.

We go across the street to another bar, and a couple of the people in a group went ahead of us. They went into the back room, and 5 minutes later came back where I was and are b!tching abou the bartender in back. Saying how slow she is, how pissed off she is, and "god forbid, don't order anything difficult because she seems too stupid to know how to make it." I decide to go check this out and HOLY SH!T this girl is sexy as hell. I literally froze when I saw her... and I don't do that. She sure did looked pissed off, but it actually added to how sexy she looked. Easy 9 in my book, or with that "area code" rating, a 919 (would have given her body a 10 if her t!ts were a cup size bigger).

I'm just staring at her as I'm walking up to the bar. Make eye contact and she's just staring back at me with this completely expressionless face. I order my drink, and without saying anything, she SLOWLY turns and starts making it. And I mean slowly. My Kettle on the rocks took her about 45 seconds. I'm just staring at her the whole time just trying to figure her out. Every 5-10 seconds she's looking back at me. Locks eye contact as she walks back over to me with my drink. I got my money out and paid her without breaking eye contact, took a sip, smiled, then turned and walked away.

So we are all standing at the other end of the room, half of my group talking **** about this girl. My sister asking me what I said to her. I look over and she's looking at me, then looks away. Birthday guy says "I want another drink but she keeps ignoring me. I'll never get it" So I ask him what he wants and I go back over there. She comes right over to me and I said "you look like you are in a terrible mood." She just nodds. I introduce myself. Her name was Ashley. I order the drinks and tell her that she should come out with us when she gets off work. She asks where we are going and says "maybe... I have to be here another hour".

I go back to the group with the drinks. (Skipping some boring stuff here). Our whole group ends up going back over by the bar. So I post up next to the bar and she comes over as if she thinks I'm gonna start talking to her. So I just give her a quick smile and then I turn and start talking to my sister and her friends. I saw Ashley move away kinda quickly, like she didn't wanna get caught being ignored lol. The song "Teach Me How to Dougie" comes on, and my sister is telling everyone how good I am at the Dougie, so they all are telling me to do it. So I do, and everyone is like cheering me on. I look over and Ashley is watching and smiling. So I said "wow, she can smile! Would never have guessed it" And she walked away to go take an order.

Talking to her a bit later and she tells me she's in a bad mood because her ex-boyfriend is an *******. I said "well, he's an ex for a reason. Let's go have some fun at _____." She just shruggs. My group decides they are leaving this bar, so I said "here, give me your number and we will meet up when you are off." She looks like she's thinking. I put my phone down to hint that she should type it in. And she kinda shakes her head and gives me the peace sign. I pushed me phone closer to her. She just looked at me. So I took my phone back, told her to have a good night, and left.

What I Learned:
- My anxiety of approaching incredibly attractive girls is basically gone. When I froze when I saw her, in the past I would have just stared at her all night and MAYBE try to make eye contact to prove to myself that I could. Now, my first thought is "let's see if I can get her number". She may have been the most attractive girl I have ever approached, and I had practically zero nerves going into it.
- More of an observation: I probably didn't play this exactly how I should have. I feel like there was a clear opportunity here and I simply didn't make it happen. Unless my game was on point and it was simply an attraction thing, or her ex issues were in the way. Bottom line is, I left empty handed for whatever reason.

If anyone reading this has ideas of how I could have played this better, please let me know. I generally try to not go after hired help, but there was honestly nobody else I wanted to approach. Would appreciate some insight here.

 

[PDubb75]

Saturday Day 8/25/12:

I b!tched out. I mean really B1TCHED out. There is this chick that works at the spa at my gym (different girl than the one in Post 3). I can't stop staring at this chick. Just something about her. My friend thinks there are hotter girls at our gym, but she easily stands out to me.

So, I have a wedding a week from today. At the time I RSVP'd I had a g/f and replied with a +1. Now, I'm looking for someone to come with me. I don't have many platonic female friends, at least not that I would even consider taking to a wedding. I have been trying to think of who to bring and could not come up with anyone. I have a couple incredibly new plates that I don't want to take and give them the wrong idea about where I want this to go with us.

So I decided I'm gonna mention it to the chick at the spa. Just casually. I went up there, talked to her and completely chickened out asking her to come with me. I haven't had that much trouble bringing up anything to a girl in a loooong time. I had been so much better about not worrying about the outcome and simply going for what I wanted. I walked out of the gym screaming at myself in my head. FURIOUS I b!tched out. Thought I was past that...

Then I started thinking. Maybe it's actually a good thing I didn't ask. And maybe these reasons are what held me back so much from bringing it up.

1. My (nosey) parents will be at this wedding, and most likely at my dinner table.
2. The groom at this wedding I met through work (President of my company's son) and many people from my office will be there.
3. I see this girl 4-5 times per week at the gym. I would be going against my own rule of not asking chicks out at the gym because if I get turned down, the last thing I want is to feel awkward in a place that relies so much on energy and motivation.
4. I think she's only 20 years old. So, this would really be more of a fvck buddy scenario if I could pull this off. Numbers 1 and 2 of this list make that really difficult.

Let me have it guys, am I a pvssy? Or are these valid points and I may have dodged a bullet by not asking?

Either way, I need a damn date for this wedding!

 

[PDubb75]

Monday 9/3/2012:

Been crazy busy (great weekend) but I am back with one of my proudest FRs! Get ready to read, though...

Background: Most Sundays in the summer when the weather is nice I go to my parent's house and go to the pool in their subdivision. I grew up there, so I know a ton of people that go there. Many of them are parents of childhood friends, or just friends of my parents that live in the neighborhood. Earlier this summer, one of my friend's mom (I'll call her D) that lives on my parents' street came to the pool and was with this other woman (I'll call her N). Looked early 40s, nice body, incredible t!ts. I thought she was sexy as hell, so naturally I went over to talk to them. Nice and easy to open, because I've known the one woman my whole life. So she immediately introduced me to this woman, and goes right into telling some stories about me. Now, this woman knows what's up. She's not like some crazy old lady (she's actually really hot herself), so she didn't tell any embarrassing stories or anything. Just stuff like how her daughter always had a crush on me. I got really flirty with them and they would keep laughing and looking at each other like they were shocked at some of the things I was saying. Incredibly playful though. Developed into some great inside jokes with us.

Labor Day: Last day the pool is open, not a cloud in the sky, 90 degrees. Hop in my car and head over to my parents'. Walk over to the pool and see a couple of the regulars, and then see N in the pool. She sees me and waves. So I put my stuff down and head into the pool. Swim around for a minute or so and then head over to her.

Only thing on my mind was to get this conversation headed back to that flirty side ASAP. As soon as I tried to move it that way, about 5 of my parents friends come over and join in on our convo. After about 10 minutes, N tells me she's going to lay out on a chair for a while. I stay in the pool. She finally comes back in about an hour and a half later. (Skipping a ton of pointless info here). We get on the subject of sushi and I said how much I love it and haven't had it in a while. She tells me about this place right down the street. I said "so what time are you picking me up?" She was caught off guard a bit and seemed somewhat hesitant. So I said "Call D, and the 3 of us will go." She looked really excited, got out of the pool to get her phone, came back and sat at the edge of the pool next to me and calls D. Turns out, D is driving home from visiting her daughter in Kentucky, and is still about 3 hours away. So N hangs up and says "oh well, we can take a rain check." So I said "you get me all worked up about sushi and then just take it away?? Let's go anyway. Her loss." She's in.

I show up and she's already sitting down and ordered me a beer. The conversation is not going where I want it to. It's a typical conversation you can imagine between a mid 20's guy a 40 year old who knows your parents. Too much of the "so, how long have you know so-and-so?". But the convo was flowing really well, so it wasn't all bad. I just had to steer it in the right direction. I start talking about beer and mention this great microbrewery she has to go to. Convo picks up a bit, I'm able to stick in a couple innuendos. We hear a ton of people somewhere behind us; looks like some banquet hall. We finish our meal and I say "come on... let's go crash this party". She's laughing and trying to stop me. We walk through like 30 people wearing ****tail dresses (we are basically in pool clothes), go through the door and promptly get kicked out.

We are laughing like crazy walking back to the car. I could sense that was basically going to be the end of the night, so basically without even thinking I said "Do you like rootbeer?" She gives me this confused look and says yes. I said "There is this bar down the road with outdoor seating that has a beer that doesn't even taste like beer. It seriously tastes like rootbeer... and it's 10% alcohol. Let's go grab one." She checks her phone and has a text from her daughter asking what's for dinner. She seems torn what to do, then ultimately says "I should probably go. Ugh... fvckin kids, right? haha maybe another time?" So I give her a hug, she said she had fun, and we get in our cars and leave.

Not even 2 minutes later I get a text "Changed my mind. Still up for one more?" I tell her where to meet me. We get there, sit outside, and we are alone. I had a little talk with myself that it was now or never to get this going in the right direction. I bump up the kino, no resistance. I tease her, she takes it really well and keeps hitting me on my arm and leg. Got her talking about things she's really passionate about and was able to relate to a lot of it. This is where things really started picking up. Then it starts to rain a little bit. But it felt great so we stayed out there. She was looking sexy as fvck with her clothes and hair getting wet. I moved a little closer to her and said to her "you are getting really wet" and I slowly slid my hand all the way down her up and to her thigh. And she just gave me this look like "hmmm, what are you doing?" But I kept my hand there and just started talking about something else. Rain starts really coming down so we head inside.

We were both getting a little tipsy at this point. And then a subject comes up that I always try my hardest to not talk about with women: my ex. The ex that brought me here. And not only that, but the fact that my ex owes me a lot of money. I was thinking to myself how much this convo was gonna kill my chances here. Complete opposite. I brought up how, at the time, I had no reason to not trust my ex lending her the money. N's reaction to that was insane. She leans in, looks me right in the eye, starts running her hand up my arm and shoulder and she says "oh my god, I am just like you! You are so... sweet...." and I see her eyes move down to my lips and she bites her lip a bit. Drove me insane. So I leaned in just a bit, but kept talking, just to tease her.

I notice that I have basically been rubbing her thigh for 5 minutes straight. Then she notices and backs up and says "umm.. wow. I don't know what's going on here, with.... this" and she looks down to my hand. My reply was "exactly what you want to be going on". She seems a bit flustered and she said "I just... didn't expect this". I slowly slid my hand a little bit higher and said "are you saying you want me to stop?" She closes her eyes and shakes her head no.

We get our check and head out to the car. Before we get to the car I go to kiss her. She pulls back. I pulled her back into me and just plant it on her. She throws her arms around my neck and we start making out. Get her up to the car and just push her up against it. We are hardcore making out, her hands on my arms, chest, neck. My hands all over her a$$, up her shirt, on her thighs. I'm kissing her neck and move my fingers to her cl!t. She stops me and says she has to get home and I can't do that because it's "driving her fvcking crazy". Of course, I try again, she playfully pushes me away. So I back up a bit just smiling at her. And she tells me she didn't expect this at all. I asked what she meant. She said "I just expected to go have some sushi with (my mom's name)'s son, then go home. How the fvck did you get me to this? You are driving me absolutely crazy. Oh my god..." This is going on for a good 10 minutes. At one point she tells me how wet her back and ass is from me pushing her up against the car (since it was raining). I asked her what else was wet. Instead of answering, she just looked at me, gave me this "fvck me" look, and like jumped on me making out with me.

I was trying as hard as I could without sounding desperate to go back to her place. It was obvious it wasn't happening that night. We made plans for Wednesday night (tomorrow) to go to that other bar I mentioned to her, which is down the street from my house. She texted me on the way home saying how excited she was for that, and she had a great time.

What I learned:
- I will never be deterred by the first 'no' again. Persistence was so key here it's ridiculous! This was the first time I had zero reaction to being shut down and just went for what I wanted again, and it worked 3 separate times on her. And it was so obvious it was just a sh!t test, because her response once she gave in was like she wanted it more than I did from the start.
- I'm REALLY starting to get "it". I no longer need to keep thinking about what to do, and things are really starting to come naturally. My slumps are not lasting as long, and my successes are no longer just the slam dunks. Before a lot of my success was because I literally couldn't do anything to mess it up, because they liked me already. I'm finally creating attraction when that isn't the case.

Damn this one felt good. Now to seal the deal on Wednesday....

EDIT: And the other thing. She paid and wouldn't even let me see the check.

 

[csycpr]

Good work, Pdubb. Your journal is not commented on nearly enough. Some fantastic stuff here.

If anyone reading this has ideas of how I could have played this better, please let me know. I generally try to not go after hired help, but there was honestly nobody else I wanted to approach. Would appreciate some insight here.

You could have worked just a little bit more before going for the number. It sounds as though you were trying to appear "not TOO interested" by ignoring her a bit there. Dunno. I think that can work sometimes, but other times it can also be a bit of a lost opportunity/lost time. If you could have worked in one kino move -- however slight -- I think it would have boosted your chances immensely. Kino can do that. (Easy to say, sometimes very hard to do, I know.)

Another tip is after you first went for the number and she shook her head and gave you the peace sign, you could have said something about how "crazy" or unusual it is to just ask her for her number like that but that the night's going so great it just "feel so right" you can't help it or you can't help but go with the flow and encouraged her to do the same. Reason I say this is she seemed interested but probably thought it would reflect badly on her to just give her number to some stranger in a situation like that. I used a Britishism to an English girl once in a similar situation that provided just the right amount of nudge: "Go on, be a devil."

Let me have it guys, am I a pvssy? Or are these valid points and I may have dodged a bullet by not asking?

I'd say you dodged a bullet. Really, taking someone you just met to a wedding? I couldn't imagine doing such a thing.

On the other hand, it didn't have to be the wedding that you asked her to; you could have just asked her out. So I'm afraid you did ***** out.

As for the performance with your mom's friend's friend, that was just masterful. You are inspiration, man. You shouldn't be settling looks-wise (eg that italian/black girl). Go for it. And share your stories -- you have much to teach.

She seems torn what to do, then ultimately says "I should probably go. Ugh... ****in kids, right? haha maybe another time?"

Did she really say "fckkn kids"? Lol.

 

[PDubb75]

Good work, Pdubb. Your journal is not commented on nearly enough. Some fantastic stuff here.

I appreciate it. Just having this out here has forced me to approach more, so I can imagine that if a lot more people read/commented it would push me even more.

Thanks for the input on that bartender. I'm not stressing on that one. She seemed like a handful before I said a word to her. Just really sexy so I had to try. Hard to do kino when she was behind the bar though. I did all I could, which was touch her hand as she handed me a drink.

I'd say you dodged a bullet. Really, taking someone you just met to a wedding? I couldn't imagine doing such a thing.

On the other hand, it didn't have to be the wedding that you asked her to; you could have just asked her out. So I'm afraid you did ***** out.

Yeah, I ended up going solo to the wedding and had a freakin blast. I was trying to game this one girl, but she was young and obviously trying to work every guy in that room. I lost interest. Had a great time with a ton of people I didn't know. Almost had the feeling of going out to a bar on your own.

I also found out that girl from the gym I wanted to ask has a boyfriend. And she's only 20 years old. But she didn't even mention her boyfriend. It was the other spa girl saying "Kristin thinks her boyfriend looks like a lesbian" (he kinda does). She doesn't seem too interested in him. And even if she is... they are 20. Sh!t won't last. She's been very flirty recently. I invited her out with us on Sunday. Seemed really interested, but never showed. Could have something to do with us being at a bar and her being underage, though.

As for the performance with your mom's friend's friend, that was just masterful. You are inspiration, man. You shouldn't be settling looks-wise (eg that italian/black girl). Go for it. And share your stories -- you have much to teach.

Did she really say "fckkn kids"? Lol.

Yeah, done settling. That black/italian chick scared me straight I think. Not that I have anything at all against black or italian girls, just her specifically.... not attractive.

I think I screwed myself over though. I have a date tonight, seeing the MILF tomorrow, and I leave for Las Vegas straight from work on Thursday. No idea when I am going to pack. I almost need to hope tonight doesn't go very well! Ha..

And yes, she did say "fvckin kids" but it was in a very joking tone. Plus her kids are 21 and 18. Not like she's abandoning and cursing out a 5 year old haha