Paying or not paying for the date

[00Kevin]

I know it has been talked about over and over again, but I need to make a point. I've read too many posts lately where people just have it all wrong.

I want to make it clear that the best thing you can do IS PAY. In fact, provided you have the money, you should PAY ALL THE TIME.

But what if she doesn't like that? What if she tries to pay for half?

Ok first of all, why do you care if it bothers her? Are you not the one that is taking her out? Are you not the DJ that she can't resist? Would prince charming let his woman pay for the dinner? I think not!

What you have to understand is that EVERY girl wants a man who can provide for her. She wants a man who can sweep her off her feet. You can't sweep a girl off her feet if you make her pay for the date. Sweeping a girl off her feet implies that you are smart enough and gentleman enough to take control. The less a girl has to worry about things the happier she is.

As a DJ it is your job to take control and show that girl a good time. The more everything is 50/50 the more likely you are going to end up in the friends zone. That is why you have to keep control of the situation. You have to court the girl. The moment it moves out of the courtship zone to the friendship zone you have lost.

There is another important factor for guys who are looking for LTRs. You have to realize that a good woman will let you pay. She will admire you for taking control and showing her a good time. It will make her feel good that you are providing for her.

What if the girl feels bad that you are paying? The answer to that is simple, GOOD! Let her feel bad. That is her problem.

What if she insists over and over again? You ignore it and you let her *****. Then you consider her BAD LTR material.

Remember, when you take a girl out it is YOU who is assessing her! If she gets mad that you are taking control then you NEXT her and you take the next girl out who won't ***** and complain!

 

[tx_interface]

I disagree. I always assume that I will pay for the first date and that is fine by me. The one thing that really impresses me about a girl I take out is her assuming that she will pay half. This "the man should always pay" idea is why a bit%h gets half of everything you have worked for because you stuck your co&K in another woman.

 

[drixsa]

You can argue this left or right but its pretty simple:

If you ask her out, then you pay
*if she offers to pay (or go deutch treat) you thank her but decline the offer

If she asks you out, she pays
*but you should offer to pay (but watch out b/c she just might take you up on the offer)

 

[arutha]

I always thought along the lines of expect to pay for it all, and say you will, but if she offers to pay for some then let her. I don't want to get in a big arguement over who is going to pay, its just pointless.

The site always says don't shower her in gifts and buy stuff for her, where did this advice go?

I think all are different, some will expect you to pay, others won't care either way and won't think about it, the odd few will want to pay everything themselves, and others will want to pay 50/50. Just split the date into multiple parts, tell her not to worry and she can pay for the next bit like the meal or drinks or whatever.

 

[squirrels]

Pay for the first date. But make it an inexpensive first date.

It's good to be a gentleman, but her spending your hard-earned money is a privelege SHE EARNS.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by drixsa
You can argue this left or right but its pretty simple:

If you ask her out, then you pay
*if she offers to pay (or go deutch treat) you thank her but decline the offer

If she asks you out, she pays
*but you should offer to pay (but watch out b/c she just might take you up on the offer)

Wrong.

How many girls ask guys out? It's almost always the guy. What you are saying is equivalent to guys paying 90% of the time.


P.S. My thought on this as I have already mentioned in my own thread about this subject.

If you don't know her well, it's 50/50.
If you know her well and the relationship is moving on, you can start offering to pay for all. ONLY if she is LTR material.

Other than that, you're wasting your money. I guess it's not a big dea lif it is just a coffee, but not much more than that or a happy meal Period.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
Wrong.

How many girls ask guys out? It's almost always the guy. What you are saying is equivalent to guys paying 90% of the time.


P.S. My thought on this as I have already mentioned in my own thread about this subject.

If you don't know her well, it's 50/50.
If you know her well and the relationship is moving on, you can start offering to pay for all. ONLY if she is LTR material.

Other than that, you're wasting your money. I guess it's not a big dea lif it is just a coffee, but not much more than that or a happy meal Period.

no...i am correct.

yes, exactly guys pay probably over 90% of the first dates.

If its 50/50 you arent going to get your called answered/returned for being a cheap prick.

re-read what i wrote...if you take the initiative and ask her out on the date you SHOULD pay.

its pretty simple.

 

[arutha]

Well you're not really a cheap prick if she asks to pay, or at least help pay..

And hmm maybe its not normal, but I've been asked out enough times.. Probably more times than I've asked girls out actually. Its normally the other way around and a lot more one sided?

 

[Centaurion]

I usually take chicks on a cheap ass first date, along the lines of a coffee shop, a walk in the park etc. So it really doesnt bother me if I pay for the first day. I always pay for the first date, even though she insists on paying. But I also make a mental note if she offers to pay. Those who don' - don't get a second date, because it tells something about their personality.

 

[suave4sure]

never take em out to dinner till you know they like you

If you're not sure the girl likes you yet don't take her out to dinner. That's the proverbial first date. If it seems like she's not that interested, honestley man take her to a coffee place like starbucks. It would be a waste of your money otherwise. Starbucks you can talk and find out you hate her personality for only 8 bucks.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by squirrels
Pay for the first date. But make it an inexpensive first date.

It's good to be a gentleman, but her spending your hard-earned money is a privelege SHE EARNS.

I agree with this, but why the hell do you guys feel that you have to always buy sh1t when you go out?