Paying for the first time

JoeJoe85

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I hope I don't come off creepy here, but I am still a virgin and pretty much fed up with it. I've gotten better with women, but I feel that sex is still on my mind too much and that I come on too strong.

Is seeing a "professional" for the first time a good idea. I had the opportunity to this summer in Vegas, but was short on money. I am seriously considreing it again. I think that it will help loosen me up about sex. Thoughts??
 
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Hello, JoeJoe85. I'm surprized nobody replied to your introduction post. As I understand, you have an alchohol problem. That's great -- you can join Alcoholic's Anonymous where you can network and meet other girls. Again, I don't know if you are new or what, I'm suprized nobody noticed you. Maybe you come on too strong because you are drunk.

You can use a fleshlight or masturbate to get yourself off. In fact, I use a fleshlight myself and feel that it suits my needs in a short-gap sort of way.

Anyway, in answer to your question, I think escorts are absolutely a last resort in the echelon.

First you have trying to find a girlfriend or relationship with a NORMAL woman that may include sex.

Second, if unable to do that, then try to settle a bit on looks and see what girl is interested in you that you could work with.

Thirdly, if unable to do that, then you start looking for anyone you would do just to get a 'release' that would be like shooting a fish in a barrel. (i.e. cougars, marrieds, etc...)

Fourthly, if unable to do that, then try going on adult-sites and give it about a month or two. Take the least expensive membership that will allow you to write to other people. No sence going for the most expensive since you'll just waste more money since you are already likely to get a very high rejection rate.

Fifthly, if all of the above don't work, and 60 days has passed by, then and only then, I'd say, you can THINK about using an escort.

Let's see some progress charts man -- do a 90 (Ninety day) campaign of getting laid. Day to day, mark your progress -- then at the end of the 90 days, you can press the escort button.

I've never used an escort in my life, because within my system or world, I know I could get laid with someone without paying for it. The escort stuff just means you know you have a guaranteed lay with a HOT girl of your choosing (that may not be into you and just mechanically go through the motions making you feel like you just masturbated rather than had sex) -- but I'd choose to do it for free with someone I'm not totally attracted to or think is hot rather than go there.

The bottom line is you will get sex, but you wont have much choice on who you end up having sex with or when. At least not initially while you are developing your game.

I think the escort thing is for people who want a quick lay with a hot girl and want to get off on someone hot, but not as a first-time experience with someone who cares about you. You would have to already know what you are doing there, and get in and out to get your rocks off, or you may feel ripped off if you were looking for something more.
 

edger

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JoeJoe85 said:
Is seeing a "professional" for the first time a good idea. I had the opportunity to this summer in Vegas, but was short on money. I am seriously considreing it again. I think that it will help loosen me up about sex. Thoughts??
Defintely, go for it. I know you've heard this a million times; you only live once, live every day like it's your last. Mess around with as many women as you can(responsibly of course), even if that's escorts. You know why I say that? Because you might be waiting around another 5 yrs till you bust a nut on an attractive woman. The game is very unpredictable, and most of the time(at least in my experience) doesn't work in your favor. So, mess with as many escorts as you can..this way you don't sit back someday when you're on your deathbed, saying to yourself, "F*ck, I never got laid by a good share hot women in life, I should've just slept with hot escorts". I'm tellin' ya, it's the truth.
 
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edger said:
Defintely, go for it. I know you've heard this a million times; you only live once, live every day like it's your last. Mess around with as many women as you can(responsibly of course), even if that's escorts.
He's talking about a 'first-time losing virginity deal. People should be teaching him how to get laid.

edger said:
You know why I say that? Because you might be waiting around another 5 yrs till you bust a nut on an attractive woman. The game is very unpredictable, and most of the time(at least in my experience) doesn't work in your favor.
But at least it's real and not a fantasy when it does work in your favour.

Everything about an escort is just buying into fantasy.


edger said:
So, mess with as many escorts as you can..this way you don't sit back someday when you're on your deathbed, saying to yourself, "F*ck, I never got laid by a good share hot women in life, I should've just slept with hot escorts". I'm tellin' ya, it's the truth.
I guess only a virgin will understand another virgin.

Can you imagine, the first time you get laid, you HAVE to pay for it?
Do you know what that means?

Edger is talking about more variety from someone who already got laid naturally. Very, very selfish. If it's an issue of having sex with hot women because you reach some sort of plateau and want some more variety or something that's one thing. But if you feel that nobody wants to have sex with you - which is why you are a virgin - then that's another story. The story I think you are talking about here. Beggers can not be choosers. You have to settle for what you can get and work up the ladder until your game improves.
 

JoeJoe85

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edger said:
Defintely, go for it. I know you've heard this a million times; you only live once, live every day like it's your last. Mess around with as many women as you can(responsibly of course), even if that's escorts. You know why I say that? Because you might be waiting around another 5 yrs till you bust a nut on an attractive woman. The game is very unpredictable, and most of the time(at least in my experience) doesn't work in your favor. So, mess with as many escorts as you can..this way you don't sit back someday when you're on your deathbed, saying to yourself, "F*ck, I never got laid by a good share hot women in life, I should've just slept with hot escorts". I'm tellin' ya, it's the truth.
Thanks that's good advice. I feel that gaining confidence is a good thing no matter how it's gained.
 

JoeJoe85

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Luke Skywalker said:
Can you imagine, the first time you get laid, you HAVE to pay for it?
Do you know what that means?

Edger is talking about more variety from someone who already got laid naturally. Very, very selfish. If it's an issue of having sex with hot women because you reach some sort of plateau and want some more variety or something that's one thing. But if you feel that nobody wants to have sex with you - which is why you are a virgin - then that's another story. The story I think you are talking about here. Beggers can not be choosers. You have to settle for what you can get and work up the ladder until your game improves.
That doesn't bother me. I used to believe in waiting for "the one," and that's what put me in the position i'm in today. I may not find "the one" until I'm 40 years old. The reason for the question is to get my obsession with sex out of my head, girls can tell that I want it too much and I know that hurts my game. I feel that just paying for it will help me lose that obsession and become more focused on establishing healthy relationships with women. I also want to kind of know what I'm doing for my first "real" time.
 

Igetit!

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edger said:
Defintely, go for it. I know you've heard this a million times; you only live once, live every day like it's your last.
Yeah,it might be your last if this "professional" turns out to be an undercover cop. If all your going to do is whip out your wallet for sex,then why did you join up here on this forum? The whole point of being here is to improve yourself as a man,women being attracted to and interested in you will be a positive side effect of that improvement. Sex is natural. It's a natural act. Sex/sexual attraction is just a normal function of the body,just like sweating or puberty. It's natural. The thought of paying for sex sickens me,it flat out discust me.

I can't imagine what you'd say in few years,or whenever you get into a long term relationship or married,and you girlfriend/wife asks you about your first time having sex. You better come up with a good story or something.
You just joined up here this month. I say give this place a try,a serious try. There's an entire oceanfull of knowledge here that's just waiting to be learned. This forum can help you better understand women,but more importantly,it can help you grow as a man.

You're an adult,so you can do whatever you want to do. If you want to go to an "professional",then have at it. Just don't let the true key to success (the forum) slip through your fingers.
 

JoeJoe85

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Igetit! said:
Yeah,it might be your last if this "professional" turns out to be an undercover cop. If all your going to do is whip out your wallet for sex,then why did you join up here on this forum? The whole point of being here is to improve yourself as a man,women being attracted to and interested in you will be a positive side effect of that improvement. Sex is natural. It's a natural act. Sex/sexual attraction is just a normal function of the body,just like sweating or puberty. It's natural. The thought of paying for sex sickens me,it flat out discust me.

I can't imagine what you'd say in few years,or whenever you get into a long term relationship or married,and you girlfriend/wife asks you about your first time having sex. You better come up with a good story or something.
You just joined up here this month. I say give this place a try,a serious try. There's an entire oceanfull of knowledge here that's just waiting to be learned. This forum can help you better understand women,but more importantly,it can help you grow as a man.

You're an adult,so you can do whatever you want to do. If you want to go to an "professional",then have at it. Just don't let the true key to success (the forum) slip through your fingers.
Good point. Believe me if I do it, it won't be for a while. I live in a small town so the "professionals" here aren't women any self-respecting man would want to get anywhere near. So it would be in a big city. I've been laid up with a broken leg for the last 2 months, so I've had a lot of (too much) time to contemplate stupid things like this. I've read a lot of good things on this forum, and others like it already. I actually found this one by accident but I really enjoy it.

I'll be going back to work in a few weeks and I work at a bar with a lot of above average to hot girls. A lot of them have expressed intrest in me, again, i just tend to find reasons not to pursue them.

Maybe I've watched Seinfeld too much in my life, cuz it seems like I try to find flaw in every woman I meet, I think George is my favorite character because I have way too much of him in me lol.
 

Igetit!

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JoeJoe85 said:
Igetit!, would you recommend going to a bootcamp
Well,I believe that a bootcamp would be helpful,I mean,it couldn't hurt. However,if you really want to get to the heart of the matter,one thing I've seen over and over again that's really been a help to people is an complete diagnosis/examination of you basic interactions with women.
What I mean by that is.whenever you approach a girl......
What do you normally say to her?
How do you say it?
What is the girl's response/How do the girls usually react to you?
What's your bodylanguage during the interactions?
Are you relaxed and calm when you talk to a girl,or are you nervous and trembling?

Like I said,a bootcamp can only help you. But if you can give us a breakdown of your normal interactions with women,more than likely,we'll be able to find out where the problems are and give you helpful advice.

On a lighter note,yeah,I like Seinfeld too. That episode where George does the "opposite" of everything cracks me up everytime I see it.:up:
 

R19

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Not my shot of tequila to date, but I always find conversations about paying for sex with an escort interesting when there are countless AFC's on both sides that are 'paying for sex' or something else through disingenuous, slimy, underhanded ways.
 

JoeJoe85

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On a good day, I'm actually pretty good at talking to women. Of course I have my bad days and usually don't fare well, but now on those days I just don't bother approaching.

I'm good at making women laugh, and I can even do good a cold approaches, the problem is, when they go well, I'm often not aware of what I'm doing, so it's hard to me to document it so I can do it again, believe me, i tried.

My main problems now are escalation, when I do try it I think I do it too early, or I miss opportunites I could have had. I also get nervous about texting/calling after getting a number and getting a day 2. There was one night when I went out with some friends from work after we were done. There's one girl I work with who's in her late 20s, her face is kind old looking but she's got a great body, and usually covers up her wrinkles well. A solid 8. She was all over me the whole night, she was groping and kissing me for a good hour, and at the end of it instead of asking her to go home with me i just left. I still kick myself for that one cuz i know she's pretty easy and probably could have got something if I would have been more direct.

I think body language is a problem too. I know I have problems with eye-contact with people and work on it while I'm aware.

I know I am too hard on myself, and I am having a really tough time putting a stop to that. And sometimes I can't believe the things that women have said to me, they really make me bitter about the whole thing. However, I've noticed if i am more assertive with them that they tend to respect me more.

Thanks again for the input.
 

Jitterbug

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Yes it can be a good idea. I know a few guys who, after they hired an escort to get rid of their V-cards, became unstoppable with women and never had to hire one again.
 

DonJuan11

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JoeJoe85 said:
I'm good at making women laugh, and I can even do good a cold approaches, the problem is, when they go well, I'm often not aware of what I'm doing, so it's hard to me to document it so I can do it again, believe me, i tried.

You have to read the Bible on how to know if a woman is interested or flirting back with you since it sounds like you are doing well.


My main problems now are escalation, when I do try it I think I do it too early, or I miss opportunites I could have had. I also get nervous about texting/calling after getting a number and getting a day 2. There was one night when I went out with some friends from work after we were done. There's one girl I work with who's in her late 20s, her face is kind old looking but she's got a great body, and usually covers up her wrinkles well. A solid 8. She was all over me the whole night, she was groping and kissing me for a good hour, and at the end of it instead of asking her to go home with me i just left. I still kick myself for that one cuz i know she's pretty easy and probably could have got something if I would have been more direct.

You have an issue with your ego. Is seems very fragile and you are afraid to get shot down as you want the girl to do all the work. You have to learn how to throw the ego out the window in order to get laid.

And sometimes I can't believe the things that women have said to me, they really make me bitter about the whole thing.

Again its the ego. You going to let some woman who has no education or degree but just looks good tell you where to go when you talk to her? Or are going to (politely) put her in her place and move on to the next one?


However, I've noticed if i am more assertive with them that they tend to respect me more.
Word up with the last statement
 

Maxtro

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I lost my virginity to a hooker. I don't regret that I paid for it, but I'm sad that I had to pay for it. I would have preferred to loose it with a real girl but if I didn't get it taken care of, I'd probably still be a virgin today...

Before you decide to do it, you should stop and think about what is troubling you most about women. See if it's a problem you can fix yourself. From you previous post it seems like you are able to get girls, you just need to act. I'd say hold off for now.
 

edger

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Igetit! said:
Yeah,it might be your last if this "professional" turns out to be an undercover cop.
The only way you can get arrested, is if you bluntly say "you want a sex, or a certain kind of sex for X amount of dollars". As long as nothing about "sex in exchange for money" is talked about, or as long as the ad mentions nothing about sex or any kind of sex for money, you are fine.

Word to the wise: If you ever do go to an escort and she asks you if you'd like any kind of sex for X amount of dollars, then you can bet it's a set up and she's an undercover officer. 98% of the time though, escorts aren't undercover officers.

Igetit, why does it sicken you to pay for sex? Please tell me you aren't one of those irrational Puritan-like people who think's it's "immoral". What do you think a gold-digger is?

There is nothing wrong with prostitution, you are not hurting anybody. All it is is an honest transaction between a man and a woman. Nobody is being harmed. It has been going on for thousands and thousands of yrs. It has only been made illegal(in the U.S. at least)for about a century..before that, it flourished everywhere all over the world as a LEGAL transaction. If there was harm in it, I'd say sure, make it illegal, but there is no harm, so why look at it with disdain?
 
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