Nobody really answered how you get the girl to pay. Ok, if she insists on paying let her pay. Great. Are you saying that they should pay anyway? How do you get a girl expecting you to pay to pay? For those saying that it's wrong to think the guy has to pay...sorry if I missed that somewhere in here. Do you just say, can we get separate cheques- let me know Bungo.
Pay or not pay for dinner date
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I have't read all the replys but I say old fashioned rules apply here. I have never gone dutch or offered to pay. Ever! I do however return the favor in other ways ie a homecooked meal, hand painted cards, SEX... just kidding on the last one.
But I believe that when it comes to this... the men enjoy taking the lead. Am I wrong.. Do you want us to pay. Maybe you do with someone you just want to **** but not with someone you really dig.. No? Even my Dj paid everytime we went out. Of course, he mostly just came over to my place for sex LOL....
I suppose it depends on who does the asking. I mean a man could buy be a nice dinner and then after I may spring for dessert or coffee or whatever. I am older than most on here but even in my younger days the courting rules still apply.
The man pays for the date. I mean you are the man....Until you become very serious then it is sort of a mixed bag. But woman can show their appreciation and should show it in other ways. Don't ever let a woman just lead you on for dates in order for you to pay.. And in your gut you know the difference. When a woman's IL is high yes pay. If you are just friends then don't..
But mostly, let the man take the lead. We like that.. And it's not just a matter of $$$$. It makes us feel special.
Why do his job for him. I might be exposing myself to flaming here. ... But then again I have already encountered that. JMO. But every situation is different and whatta I know
I say if you like a girl and you ask her out then be a man and pay....
But I believe that when it comes to this... the men enjoy taking the lead. Am I wrong.. Do you want us to pay. Maybe you do with someone you just want to **** but not with someone you really dig.. No? Even my Dj paid everytime we went out. Of course, he mostly just came over to my place for sex LOL....
I suppose it depends on who does the asking. I mean a man could buy be a nice dinner and then after I may spring for dessert or coffee or whatever. I am older than most on here but even in my younger days the courting rules still apply.
The man pays for the date. I mean you are the man....Until you become very serious then it is sort of a mixed bag. But woman can show their appreciation and should show it in other ways. Don't ever let a woman just lead you on for dates in order for you to pay.. And in your gut you know the difference. When a woman's IL is high yes pay. If you are just friends then don't..
But mostly, let the man take the lead. We like that.. And it's not just a matter of $$$$. It makes us feel special.
Why do his job for him. I might be exposing myself to flaming here. ... But then again I have already encountered that. JMO. But every situation is different and whatta I know
I say if you like a girl and you ask her out then be a man and pay....That's just the thing though, a woman can easily fool a dumb dlck into paying by showing high IL...it's happened to me, I won't lie - lol. And that's reality.
I hear your point though > and women I think are lucky in that society has already slapped the bill on the man. That's life though- I'll live it and learn.
I hear your point though > and women I think are lucky in that society has already slapped the bill on the man. That's life though- I'll live it and learn.
"That's life though- I'll live it and learn." I hate to say it but honestly, yup... and if the tables were turned I bet you NOT really be all that into her no matter how much of a Don Juan you are.. JMO Hey, we live in a ***** society but part of the game.
And well, frankly as a woman I am glad there are differences between men and women and no it's not just the fact about getting a free meal. OOOOOH NO! But if you get that idea than dump her ass although I can see how you men are taken. I feel for you on that point. Honest.
If only we could appreciate rather than meld our differences. I mean when it comes to careers sure. I can do any job a man can do except fight a war. That is silly. I know that sounds NAZI FEM but it is true..... And women will bash me but come on! Woman have it easy. Especially, a hot chick in the work force. If you are a woman and hot and smart and can prove yourself.... God help you. I have no regrets
We have spent the last 20 years writing books, reading books about communicating this and that and for men to be more sensitive... bull ****.. Be a MAN, pay the bill and take her home and well.. you know the rest. And I am not saying paying for dinner =sex. Wrong. Hard call but I have to think you know. At least after the first date. Maybe not. I never use men that way. Ever. A pet peeve. ****.. I can cook myself and I keep my own good company if I need to. THat is me and my vibrator. JK!
But Djing is combining and giving that romance that she craves. While providing the DJing that only a MAN can do. I could stay on here forever and still get hooked. That's the truth.
Make sense maybe not. I am not suppose to be on here anyways for a while but you have to say I have calmed down some. Otherwise I'd have to fire myself! LOL.
And well, frankly as a woman I am glad there are differences between men and women and no it's not just the fact about getting a free meal. OOOOOH NO! But if you get that idea than dump her ass although I can see how you men are taken. I feel for you on that point. Honest.
If only we could appreciate rather than meld our differences. I mean when it comes to careers sure. I can do any job a man can do except fight a war. That is silly. I know that sounds NAZI FEM but it is true..... And women will bash me but come on! Woman have it easy. Especially, a hot chick in the work force. If you are a woman and hot and smart and can prove yourself.... God help you. I have no regrets
We have spent the last 20 years writing books, reading books about communicating this and that and for men to be more sensitive... bull ****.. Be a MAN, pay the bill and take her home and well.. you know the rest. And I am not saying paying for dinner =sex. Wrong. Hard call but I have to think you know. At least after the first date. Maybe not. I never use men that way. Ever. A pet peeve. ****.. I can cook myself and I keep my own good company if I need to. THat is me and my vibrator. JK!
But Djing is combining and giving that romance that she craves. While providing the DJing that only a MAN can do. I could stay on here forever and still get hooked. That's the truth.
Make sense maybe not. I am not suppose to be on here anyways for a while but you have to say I have calmed down some. Otherwise I'd have to fire myself! LOL.
JK- I don't think so > no big deal. Could you please consult the post on porn makers - good don juans? I would be very interested in a womans opinion on that subject- and I'm quite surprised it hasn't gotten more reaction on this board, I would have thought that was a question somebody could answer from experience.
I agree with what you posted fully tamales. This forum is addictive, I have to get back to my other vices. And you sound cool - thanks for not leading on your poor blokes.
Bungo Pony
Master Don Juan
This is another thing that AFCs have ruined. When an AFC pays, and she doesn't give him sex afterwards, the AFC rubs it in, "But I bought you dinner!"
As for getting the woman to pay, just simply ask her on the way to the date, "You have money, right?" If she doesn't, then you can either come up with a backup plan or say "Okay, but you're paying for the next date". I know it sounds harsh, but it'll keep me from getting used for my money. I've been taken advantage of too many times in my AFC days. I won't tolerate it anymore.
I'm sorry, but...
You guys shouldn't be going out to dinner with a girl when you're still unsure if she really digs you or not. I mean, I don't expect this to be gospel, but why are you taking a girl with, as Doc Love would put it, unknown IL on a dinner date? You should be out having fun, hanging out.
Dinner is a solid investment of time and money spent with someone whom you should ALREADY KNOW is not a golddigger, or "professional dater" or whatnot. And if you already know this then the "Who pays?" question is moot, because you can do whatever your style is.
By the time you're at a dinner date you should already know that you want to spend more time with this chick. So unless she does something during dinner to piss you off, it doesn't even matter because the money thing evens itself out with time spent together in the future.
The bottom line? Be assertive and assume that you're paying from time to time, but don't do it so often that she would expect you to always pay.
If you offend her by offering to pay, because she's a hardcore feminist, it looks like you won't be getting along. (Caveat: unless hardcore feiminism turns you on, in which case you can bust her balls and say she can't take a joke, and continue from there. Make sure to let her on top when you go over to her place.)
cynetix
You guys shouldn't be going out to dinner with a girl when you're still unsure if she really digs you or not. I mean, I don't expect this to be gospel, but why are you taking a girl with, as Doc Love would put it, unknown IL on a dinner date? You should be out having fun, hanging out.
Dinner is a solid investment of time and money spent with someone whom you should ALREADY KNOW is not a golddigger, or "professional dater" or whatnot. And if you already know this then the "Who pays?" question is moot, because you can do whatever your style is.
By the time you're at a dinner date you should already know that you want to spend more time with this chick. So unless she does something during dinner to piss you off, it doesn't even matter because the money thing evens itself out with time spent together in the future.
The bottom line? Be assertive and assume that you're paying from time to time, but don't do it so often that she would expect you to always pay.
If you offend her by offering to pay, because she's a hardcore feminist, it looks like you won't be getting along. (Caveat: unless hardcore feiminism turns you on, in which case you can bust her balls and say she can't take a joke, and continue from there. Make sure to let her on top when you go over to her place.)
cynetix
No, don't pay for a dinner date unless she's your girlfriend and has shown that she would be willing to do the same for you. Many women want to tout their independance, but go for old term rules when it comes to filling up their belly with the most expensive sh*t on the menu when they know you're carrying the tab. If you just meet the broad, don't pay... I repeat, be a man and not Mr. Sugar Daddy. Do NOT f*cking pay.
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
My earlier reply, answers your question....
If she goes to dinner without underwear, you pay....
if not, then it depends on where you go. If she wants to go to her place, she pays, if you go to your place, you pay. If you both aren't wearing any under wear, skip dinner..... 8)
Rev
Banned
Hell, I'll pay for dinner, but the bee-yocth is going to give up the sweet puntang, not because I bought her dinner, but because she's just gonna!
TwoDollahs
Don Juan
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You should carefully make a decision if she is worth it to pay for. If not, don't pay. If so, pay. And never tell her if you are paying or not, unless she asks.
Personally I don't mind paying for dinner the FIRST time. I guess I'm a little bit old-fashioned that way.
Some of you guys make reference to the '50's and that times have changed which is true BUT there are some things that I actually like about those times; and just because times have changed doesn't mean that there aren't some things that we can take from the '50's - that being that men are the leaders/head of the household, etc. Just because this is the 00's doesn't mean that some male/female relationships can't mirror those of the '50's. Sure women these days are more independent, etc. but isn't one of the tenants of being a Don Juan that men are supposed to lead? So take the lead, ask for the date and pay for the FIRST dinner.
Now, if the girl is worth ANYTHING she will offer to at least pay for her half. This is where I will respond with "No, I got it. You pay the next time".
This is where you weed out the goldiggers and gauge her IL all at the same time. IF there is a next date, you can be reasonably sure she's not a goldigger and her IL is pretty high. If not, well you spent maybe $20-$30 more than you would've - BIG DEAL.
The point is you led and were in control the whole time. You asked for the date, you decided to pay and you decided that she would pay next time.
Confidence, leadership and decisiveness.
Some of you guys make reference to the '50's and that times have changed which is true BUT there are some things that I actually like about those times; and just because times have changed doesn't mean that there aren't some things that we can take from the '50's - that being that men are the leaders/head of the household, etc. Just because this is the 00's doesn't mean that some male/female relationships can't mirror those of the '50's. Sure women these days are more independent, etc. but isn't one of the tenants of being a Don Juan that men are supposed to lead? So take the lead, ask for the date and pay for the FIRST dinner.
Now, if the girl is worth ANYTHING she will offer to at least pay for her half. This is where I will respond with "No, I got it. You pay the next time".
This is where you weed out the goldiggers and gauge her IL all at the same time. IF there is a next date, you can be reasonably sure she's not a goldigger and her IL is pretty high. If not, well you spent maybe $20-$30 more than you would've - BIG DEAL.
The point is you led and were in control the whole time. You asked for the date, you decided to pay and you decided that she would pay next time.
Confidence, leadership and decisiveness.
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Giovanni Casanova
Master Don Juan
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Ding ding ding. We have a winner.
Bottom line: Early on, if a girl asks you to go somewhere and then tells you to pay, run. And you should presume that you will be paying if you ask a girl to go anywhere, so if you don't have the cash, go somewhere free.
TwoDollahs
Don Juan
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They aren't more independent, they just act like it. Really, they are dependent. Women will always be dependent on a man.
If the woman offers to pay, you should pay. If she expects you to pay, and shes not worth it, don't pay. I think most women are worth it though. If shes not, THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?
johnnyboy101
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I consider it a major insult if the woman expects me to pay for her meal.
My rationale is this - I'm getting something from her (her time) and she's getting something from me (my time). I don't pull surprises - she knows exactly where we are going and the likely cost.
If I want to pay a woman for her time, I'd get a prostitute. A woman can not have it both ways - expect to be treated as an equal and expect me to be a supplicant.
So, gents, the way you tell a woman you're not paying is the following;
ME: Have you ever been out on a really awful date? Things just seemed to go wrong all the time? Can you remember what that felt like?
HB: Yes I can johnnyboy101
ME: It's horrible, isn't it. Personally speaking, I'm enjoying tonight. We're having a laugh, getting to know each other. I like that. I went out on a date with this woman four weeks ago and we were having a nice time, and when the waiter came with the bill, she expected me to pay. Can you believe it?
HBs response depends on her thoughts on this
ME: I mean, I've always been a generous guy, and when I've met someone and we've got on well for a few weeks, I'd consider doing it. But asking a total stranger to pay for your night out is not on. I was always brought up to believe that women were equal, and when she asked that, I was disappointed she did not think the same. Would you pay anyone to come on a night out with you?
HB normally says no
ME: That's one of the reasons I liked you enough to ask you out tonight. You're independent, and you act that way.
Always works for me that one.
HTH
My rationale is this - I'm getting something from her (her time) and she's getting something from me (my time). I don't pull surprises - she knows exactly where we are going and the likely cost.
If I want to pay a woman for her time, I'd get a prostitute. A woman can not have it both ways - expect to be treated as an equal and expect me to be a supplicant.
So, gents, the way you tell a woman you're not paying is the following;
ME: Have you ever been out on a really awful date? Things just seemed to go wrong all the time? Can you remember what that felt like?
HB: Yes I can johnnyboy101
ME: It's horrible, isn't it. Personally speaking, I'm enjoying tonight. We're having a laugh, getting to know each other. I like that. I went out on a date with this woman four weeks ago and we were having a nice time, and when the waiter came with the bill, she expected me to pay. Can you believe it?
HBs response depends on her thoughts on this
ME: I mean, I've always been a generous guy, and when I've met someone and we've got on well for a few weeks, I'd consider doing it. But asking a total stranger to pay for your night out is not on. I was always brought up to believe that women were equal, and when she asked that, I was disappointed she did not think the same. Would you pay anyone to come on a night out with you?
HB normally says no
ME: That's one of the reasons I liked you enough to ask you out tonight. You're independent, and you act that way.
Always works for me that one.
HTH
englishman
Master Don Juan
To bad how it is here in N.America, men pay pay pay, and women take take take....In the UK I can honestly say I maybe bought my women a beer or two in 15 years and it was never an issue.(and there was never a shortage of pvssy) It seems a bit like mild prostitution ? you pay, they put out? if your lucky that is!!!!! why not just go straight to the massage parlour, at least that way you can be sure youll get f*cked!!!
I was talking to a friend of mine about this last month, she earns over 50 bucks canadian an hour, when I asked her if she expects her dates to pay? she was all out of sorts and asserts "of course" but...she consideres herself a modern gal, dont need no man around femenist kinda thing..............what it is, is, selective femenism, if its to there advantage then they want to be 'treated like a lady' (whatever the fvck that is)....and if its to there advantage, they want to be treated like an equal....(but its not equal) its like they want half of all the top jobs, but are really quite happy that all the garbage collectors and sewer cleaners etc...are men....to some its known as having your cake and eating it........its a good job they all have a pvssy or id have nothing to do with em LOL ;-] peace!!!!
I was talking to a friend of mine about this last month, she earns over 50 bucks canadian an hour, when I asked her if she expects her dates to pay? she was all out of sorts and asserts "of course" but...she consideres herself a modern gal, dont need no man around femenist kinda thing..............what it is, is, selective femenism, if its to there advantage then they want to be 'treated like a lady' (whatever the fvck that is)....and if its to there advantage, they want to be treated like an equal....(but its not equal) its like they want half of all the top jobs, but are really quite happy that all the garbage collectors and sewer cleaners etc...are men....to some its known as having your cake and eating it........its a good job they all have a pvssy or id have nothing to do with em LOL ;-] peace!!!!
The most trifling sh*t ever is when the b*tch orders some of the most expensive sh*t on the menu and eats about half of it, and then says,"I'm full." You better be careful with a lot of these females too. They will bring a purse, but when the bill comes, she might say,"Oh, I don't have any money with me. Can you pay for me this time, and I'll promise I'll show you something good."
You might pay, but when you come to collect on the promise, she'll 'pay' you back with something really f*cking stupid. You might expect sex, but she'll give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek. ALWAYS ask for a seperate bill, and if she's unable to pay, that's her f*cking fault for ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If she doesn't carry enough money to pay for herself, she was just looking at you as afree meal. Do you honestly want that?
You might pay, but when you come to collect on the promise, she'll 'pay' you back with something really f*cking stupid. You might expect sex, but she'll give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek. ALWAYS ask for a seperate bill, and if she's unable to pay, that's her f*cking fault for ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If she doesn't carry enough money to pay for herself, she was just looking at you as afree meal. Do you honestly want that?