Part two with the chick that works for me...

[TheGambino]

I'm glad you brought this to the forum, the situation is tricky.
She started flirting with you after her boyfriend cheated, this is most likely her being hurt and (unconsciously) looking for a rebound. From what you said, she is probably into you, but unfortunately, not into you as much as you think. You spending so much time with her (during a regular day and business trips) and enjoying flirting with her WHILE NOT HAVING ANY PLATES is clouding your judgement. She is all you see. You are too close to the situation to see it clearly my friend.

The DJs saying you should go for it may be forgetting that you are not her manager, you are the BUSINESS OWNER. The ramifications if this goes sour will tarnish your reputation in YOUR OWN BUSINESS perhaps beyond repair (at least a manager can switch employers, you cannot). Women talk, employees talk, young women especially will talk with anyone with half an ear (you are not the only one she speaks with about her ex's infidelity). Others around the office know too. If you start ****ing her, others will know. No one forgets. I join companies and hear about things my boss did 5 years ago from fellow employees without even asking. You know she is attracted to you and @Alvafe (rightfully) mentioned that it sounds like maybe hoping there is a good reason for banging her. While this may be a really fun exciting experience and certainly a infamous tale for the history book of your life, you will almost certainly regret it.

As far as her behavior the other day. It is clear that she is still hung up on her ex. The moment she has to go meet up with his sister all the feelings of him are rushing back to her mind, you are forgotten until she is ready again for you. The feelings she has for you are shallow at the moment. I'm curious what you think is the real purpose of her meeting with her ex's sister. It's most certainly an expedition for some sort of repair of the relationship (on her part or the boyfriend's part). At this meeting she will find out from his sister how her ex is doing, they were so good together, blah blah. A good portion of them "chatting up and bonding together" will be centered on her past relationship. Her ex's sister will of course not condone her brother's infidelity but at the end of the day, be a diplomatic advocate for him in one way or another. Bottom line about her behavior is that she was so focused on her ex and meeting up with his sister again that she could not show you all the regular trappings of a good office flirt because there was none to give at that moment. Her feelings allowed her to detach from you easily. Depending on how that meeting goes with her ex's sister she will go back to her normal flirtatious self (if there is no sign of them getting back together) or she will drop the flirt act and leave you even more confused and feeling stupid/questioning yourself about if it's something you did.

I commend you that even though you are in a state of confusion regarding her behavior, you maintained composure. My recommendation to you would be to remain stoic and don't bang her if the opportunity arises.

by the way I found out on her pc desk on work that she searched for videos regarding “how to get m ex back” “how to hurt my ex” and “why *celebrity took her man back after him cheating so many times. So your right

 

[Gentleman]

by the way I found out on her pc desk on work that she searched for videos regarding “how to get m ex back” “how to hurt my ex” and “why *celebrity took her man back after him cheating so many times. So your right

love this bit of due diligence.

 

[Romanemp22]

by the way I found out on her pc desk on work that she searched for videos regarding “how to get m ex back” “how to hurt my ex” and “why *celebrity took her man back after him cheating so many times. So your right

Guess you have your answer then

 

[TheGambino]

So fellas, last update about this before I close my case.
I need one more time your analyses to be 100% sure where I stand in this, I just kind of like her, maybe for ltr. She's the submissive girl I would like to try and she where it goes. No red flags, no unhealthy family issues.

Today I talked to her and told her that I wasn't so happy about her customer attitude sunday.

We talked private and she told me that she wasn't focussed on work sunday. She was on her phone sometimes and I told her that her mind was way off work.

She agreed and apologized but said that she didnt really know it. I kept asking her to tell me whats going on and she confessed that her ex boyfriend that cheated on her is trying to contact her again. They had a similar party where they both were a couple of weeks ago and she told me that he tried to get back with her. Maybe shes lying because I found out that she was looking on youtube videos how to her ex to submit etc etc.

Anyway she told me that she had a meeting with her ex's sister yesterday to bond again and bring up memories to see where things could go.

Then she told me she is going to tell him that it's over tonight, and that she doesn't want any contact anymore.

I told her not my business but hopefully you can focus on work and get your mind straight, let me try to help you.

I went for the old fashion;

You have to know yourself, decide yourself, your choise but let me tell you this.
Imagine your perfect guy, with his character traits, the perfect man.
How would you feel about him and imagine a name for him.

Then compare him to your ex's traits, the bad traits he showed you by cheating and doing this to you. and making you feel like this.

Then I asked her; Is this the perfect guy? Is this the perfect relationship you can build on?

Think about that.

After that I told her that an ex once cheated on me years and years ago when we had a fight about me not giving her enough attention.
She told me she cheated after our short break up and I told her to leave and I never looked back.

I told her if they do it once, their going to do it again.

She thanked me for opening up so much and we focussed on work. Today she was her old self, not overdoing the flirting anymore, a bit more straight. She also flirted with my collegue today while I was with them. I think this was a *sh1t test.

I laughed, didn't bothered, didn't give her an inch, just laughed with them and didn't lose any frame. Just being the boss like I am there.

I would like to hear your analyses on what I did because I don't know where I stand. After this i'm going to close it and let everything come from her, if nothing comes then nothing comes.

Overall I was even more dominant then normal towards her today.

 

[Lookatu]

Man, I still think you're dillusional but I'l let things play out. What's wrong with investing that much effort into someone that you don't work with? Is it because you're lazy and more of a convenience thing? Why so invested and thinking over your employee?

I just don't understand why you're not pursuing girls outside of your business.

 

[TheGambino]

Man, I still think you're dillusional but I'l let things play out. What's wrong with investing that much effort into someone that you don't work with? Is it because you're lazy and more of a convenience thing? Why so invested and thinking over your employee?

I just don't understand why you're not pursuing girls outside of your business.

Guess I’m attracted to her submissiveness and aura. That’s it, she makes me hard.

I might view it wrong tho , I don’t know atm but my postings are 100% on point. That’s exactley what happened.

 

[Lookatu]

Guess I’m attracted to her submissiveness and aura. That’s it, she makes me hard.

I might view it wrong tho , I don’t know atm but my postings are 100% on point. That’s exactley what happened.

Have you been too lazy to look for these types of traits in girls outside your business, or have you tried and given up?
Not knocking you but just trying to understand.

 

[TheGambino]

Have you been too lazy to look for these types of traits in girls outside your business, or have you tried and given up?
Not knocking you but just trying to understand.

With Corona there isn’t much to look around for. Been indeed seeing her everyday like someone quoted. No spots to meet girls and I’m focussed on work so any spare times go to sports atm.

 

[jimwho]

For my first post. I suggest you walk away, pretend nothing ever happened, and get back to work as usual. You'll
Salvage some dignity, gain some respect, and lose the drama all at once!

 

[TheGambino]

For my first post. I suggest you walk away, pretend nothing ever happened, and get back to work as usual. You'll
Salvage some dignity, gain some respect, and lose the drama all at once!

How did I ever lose dignity and respect? What your talking about bro

 

[jimwho]

How did I ever lose dignity and respect? What your talking about bro

You're the boss. In a work/business setting it is considered a bit cheesy to date employees. Also if anything goes sour, anything adverse towards her is an open door for a lawsuit. No disrespect Sir, I've made these mistakes myself . I revert back to my first post. Respect.

 

[Serenity]

Today she was her old self, not overdoing the flirting anymore, a bit more straight. She also flirted with my collegue today while I was with them. I think this was a *sh1t test.

I don't think she's intentionally flirting. The fact that she does this with others means there's nothing that makes you special, she just is that way. I still think you're seeing something that simply isn't there. I'm almost certain that her sexual/romantic interest for you exists only in your mind.

I have walked into that trap more times than I can count, enough times to have learned my lesson and see when it's happening. I didn't have the benefit of good advice and fortunately I wasn't risking a business so my mistakes were rather inconsequential. You do have the benefit of advice and you are putting your business on the line. I don't want you to learn this the hard way, certainly not with the potential consequences for your situation.

Risk > reward in this case, but go ahead, I do want my opinions confirmed too.

 

[TheGambino]

I don't think she's intentionally flirting. The fact that she does this with others means there's nothing that makes you special, she just is that way. I still think you're seeing something that simply isn't there. I'm almost certain that her sexual/romantic interest for you exists only in your mind.

I have walked into that trap more times than I can count, enough times to have learned my lesson and see when it's happening. I didn't have the benefit of good advice and fortunately I wasn't risking a business so my mistakes were rather inconsequential. You do have the benefit of advice and you are putting your business on the line. I don't want you to learn this the hard way, certainly not with the potential consequences for your situation.

Risk > reward in this case, but go ahead, I do want my opinions confirmed too.

I end this right now. I trust you as a brother, I appreciate it and go along with my old self regarding this woman. No romantic thoughts. Thanks a lot.

 

[Romanemp22]

Don't over analyse things because it will confuse the sh1t out of you. Some of us might tell you go for it, some would say don't do it but the most important thing is what you feel you need to do? Whats your gut telling you? Do you have a good feeling about succeding? Think with straight head and do what you think is best. Good luck.

 

[Stoic]

OP you are over complicating something that isn't complicated.

You either make the move and ask your employee out and see where it goes.

Or you forget all about it and treat her like an employee only.

Instead you are indecisive and sitting on the fence and going to drive yourself crazy.

 

[2Rocky]

I think she is very vulnerable right now and if you take advantage of that you will lose a good employee.

It is easier to find a One Night Stand than a good employee right now in my industry.

 

[TheGambino]

This weekend we kept teasing eachother and flirting again. I stay calm, collected and relaxed and she is all over me. Heavy eye ballin, she show's all IoI's an attracted girl gives off. We just f8cking flirt hard everyday.

The bullet is out of my gun, I like her, can't help it. I'm dominant, she's submissive, I want to f8ck her and might even consider ltr.

She f8cking knows that I like her though, she can sense it. I seduce her, playfully and tease and negg her all day but she can sense that I want to f8ck her.

This afternoon I asked her what ur up to tommorow she said.

''Going to see *my-ex, were going to walk my dogg then he is going to see my parents again. You know he came to our home almost everyday and he is going to see them for the first time again. He just wants to say sorry. I'm not certain about what I'm going to do, I need more time and I have the time''

I really felt like I got a hit in my stomach but I didn't give a glimp, an inch, nothing. I said okay and tried to act indifferent, calm and relax. Didn't say anything else about this and went on our business.

I have to make a final move, going on a short vacation tommorow, so I see her thursday.

Yes this is f8ckd up but it's what it is. Any suggestions?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This weekend we kept teasing eachother and flirting again. I stay calm, collected and relaxed and she is all over me. Heavy eye ballin, she show's all IoI's an attracted girl gives off. We just f8cking flirt hard everyday.

The bullet is out of my gun, I like her, can't help it. I'm dominant, she's submissive, I want to f8ck her and might even consider ltr.

She f8cking knows that I like her though, she can sense it. I seduce her, playfully and tease and negg her all day but she can sense that I want to f8ck her.

This afternoon I asked her what ur up to tommorow she said.

''Going to see *my-ex, were going to walk my dogg then he is going to see my parents again. You know he came to our home almost everyday and he is going to see them for the first time again. He just wants to say sorry. I'm not certain about what I'm going to do, I need more time and I have the time''

I really felt like I got a hit in my stomach but I didn't give a glimp, an inch, nothing. I said okay and tried to act indifferent, calm and relax. Didn't say anything else about this and went on our business.

I have to make a final move, going on a short vacation tommorow, so I see her thursday.

Yes this is f8ckd up but it's what it is. Any suggestions?

Her playing with you like a cat plays with a mouse.

 

[TheGambino]

Her playing with you like a cat plays with a mouse.

Maybe she talks to her ex because I don’t make a move on her? Also possible

 

[Cazam]

Just stop at this point. You seem to go full blown nuts about this girl overanalyzing everything.
Its work it will be a lot of pain if sth goes south......