Parents

[Steam]

I need some help. My parents are very over protective of me and don't trust me. I've been on what my friends call Lock Down all my life. I'm getting tired of it. I can go out sometimes depending on the time but most of the time I don't ask cause they usually say no. My mom is more lient then my father. I know 10 year olds that go out more than I do. What should I do to let my parents let me have more freedom. I don't want to lie cause if something happens I'm screwed over twice as hard. So please help me out. I know you had to know someone or helped someone in the same predicament. And if you stiill don't understand me let me give you an example today my mom went to Atlantic city @ 6 wit some friends. So friends of mine called me up to play some bball @ the school 5min away from my house so I went it was closed so we started walking down the street to were we'd meet up with some more people freestyle and den make some moves. It was around 730ish I made some excuse to leave @ 8 cause no-1 was home but I was really scared if my dad found me just chillin he doesn't like me hanging out with a whole bunch of people cause of all da gangs around my way. So anyway we were goin play ball somewhere else but it was clost to 8 so I had to leave cause I didn't wwant to leave my brother and sister by themselves to long and if my dad came home cause he works a few minutes away. All nite my friends were talkin bout go to parties and clubs 2nite but they knew I was on lockdown so dey didn't ask me. And I looked lik a punk when I went home so early cause all them usually get home @ 10ish. Also anonther example is when I'm playin basketball literally 10secs away have a whole view of the court and my dad doesn't want me playin their when he I'm there most of the time unless my neighbors parents are their. My parents don't trust my @ all please help me out thanks

 

[Steam]

bump

 

[oakraiderz2]

You need to learn how to speak English somewhat correctly so i can understand what the hell you're saying.

 

[siccmadeplaya]

its really hard to give advice not personally knowing your parents but ill give it a go.

If you want them to trust you more, show them you deserve theyre trust. Get a job. Help your parents out if you see them busy with stuff. Do homework or whatever without them asking you to. These are just a few ideas.

If they dont let up, you could just go out anyway. They'll eventually get the picture that they cant control you anymore and that your growing up. This could be dangerous depending on what kind of people your parents are, (going to boot camp or something of the sort wouldnt be worth it). But if you make decisions for yourself and take the consequences, there is not alot they can do.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Originally posted by siccmadeplaya
its really hard to give advice not personally knowing your parents but ill give it a go.

If you want them to trust you more, show them you deserve theyre trust. Get a job. Help your parents out if you see them busy with stuff. Do homework or whatever without them asking you to. These are just a few ideas.

If they dont let up, you could just go out anyway. They'll eventually get the picture that they cant control you anymore and that your growing up. This could be dangerous depending on what kind of people your parents are, (going to boot camp or something of the sort wouldnt be worth it). But if you make decisions for yourself and take the consequences, there is not alot they can do.

That is great advice I know it is even though I didn't go through it. The reason my parents weren't so hard on me is because they trust me plus I have an older brother they did that to and he slowly stopped listening to them and they couldn't do much.

I totally agree about helping them without them asking you to help them. Also if you are going to try to not listen to them and break the rules, don't over do it the first couple of times. For example if they say be home at 8 come home at 8:30, not 11 because that's breaking the rules too much the first time. Then next time at 9 and for a while 9 then just keep going, BUT make sure they trust you first. Maybe if they meet your friends and see they aren't bad kids they might ease up. Then again you have to evaluate your parents, are they the ones that could send you to boot camp like the other guy said? If they are then try coming home half hour after they said come home and if they make a big deal about it tell them how you feel. Get emotional or something but make them believe you need some freedom and they have to understand you are growing up. Let them know how you really feel about how they are treating you and if you get emotional that may ring a bell inside their head saying "hey maybe we are over doing it." That's about it but good luck man.

 

[Wuzzup]

my parents use to be like that to. but then eventually i got tired of being told wut to do. so i was just like fuk it. i got yelled at and stuff taken away, but dude, i'm pretty sure that you will be happier with your freedom than being controlled. everyone eventually breaks away, it just depends when.

 

[KbTo]

BUMP

a friend of mine has that problem or worse....

 

[wh01987]

Once I got a job and made them think i was responsable , my leash was cut meaning out all hours of the night whenever i want well within reason during a school night gotta be in bout 11 12, on weekends 3 am or so unless im stayin the night

 

[Steam]

ight thnx for all you guys help. i guess I will talk to them maybe on my birthday since it's commin soon. And I'll be 16 so I guess I'll have a little talk with them. I got a few weeks to prepare. Also I found it is always hard for the oldest child cause were the first child and parents become emotional attached like they would with a single child so I guess I can see were they are comming from

 

[deeloo]

u have a curfew at 8pm? that is straight up crazy.. where do you live? it depends on the city you live in, some places are more dangerous so it'd be safer to go home earlier.. and your friends go home at 10? trust me, thats not very late either.. most probably your town has high crime rate cuz whenever i go out i stay out until at least 1am.. sometimes i just dont go home.. but yeah thats cuz my parents are always overseas working.. i guess you will just have to make them understand.. get emotional like someone else said.

 

[Vincent]

Originally posted by wh01987
Once I got a job and made them think i was responsable , my leash was cut meaning out all hours of the night whenever i want well within reason during a school night gotta be in bout 11 12, on weekends 3 am or so unless im stayin the night

Wow lucky guy, i'm almost 18 and i still have a 9 o'clock curfew on school nights, and midnight on weekends. That all changes when i graduate however.

But for steam: Lets face the hard fact, ur parents suck and they know it. They're not stupid, they know exactly what they're doing, they were young once.

Well you need to realize that everything they are doing is an attempt to protect you from drugs, gangs, etc. They are going a little overboard, because you will prob rebel.

Face the facts your 15, a sophmore i'm assuming. You don't understand much now, even though you think you do (wise fool). So you can rebel and make the next 3 years hell between you and your parents, and ruining everything for your siblings. Or you can gain their respect, do your homework, obey their rules. If you gain their respect then you may be able to negotiate an increase in your curfue and more freedoms.

Which looks better, someone showing maturity and responisiblities, wanting more. or someone who is being immature, and irresponsible, complaining about their lack of appreciated freedoms.

Think about it. you could have it a lot worse, so all you can try to do it appreciate what you have, and work hard to get more.

 

[Steam]

Originally posted by Vincent
Wow lucky guy, i'm almost 18 and i still have a 9 o'clock curfew on school nights, and midnight on weekends. That all changes when i graduate however.

But for steam: Lets face the hard fact, ur parents suck and they know it. They're not stupid, they know exactly what they're doing, they were young once.

Well you need to realize that everything they are doing is an attempt to protect you from drugs, gangs, etc. They are going a little overboard, because you will prob rebel.

Face the facts your 15, a sophmore i'm assuming. You don't understand much now, even though you think you do (wise fool). So you can rebel and make the next 3 years hell between you and your parents, and ruining everything for your siblings. Or you can gain their respect, do your homework, obey their rules. If you gain their respect then you may be able to negotiate an increase in your curfue and more freedoms.

Which looks better, someone showing maturity and responisiblities, wanting more. or someone who is being immature, and irresponsible, complaining about their lack of appreciated freedoms.

Think about it. you could have it a lot worse, so all you can try to do it appreciate what you have, and work hard to get more.

that opened my eyes in a new light. If I can take this into a professionally sense then I will establish more freedom. Got a little bit ahead today. Left house @ 11 came home around 5ish mom didn't say a word and i told here I would be @ my friend's crib for a hour

 

[bogman2121]

My parents were too overprotective for my liking so I told them that they were making me a loser because I could never stay out late with my friends so they backed off a little. After a little while I just kinda started leaving when they weren't there but left a little note on the table or something telling them where I was. I took it a bit farther every time until I got what I was happy with and more, now my curfue is 1, I could probably get it later but most of my friends have to be home around then so I don't really care. I say talk to them about it and if you leave while they're gone leave a note saying where you're at and maybe lobby for a cell phone so they can get in touch with you where ever you might happen to be, trust me they won't call very much.