Parents want me to be an AFC and im falling into the trap

[jason86]

Everytime im about to go out or get a call from anyone, i can see it in their eyes that theyre thinking 'oh no our boys a dj or whatever'.

They do their utmost best to make me a AFC. They tell me about how i should stop going out and stay at home and be a family boy! I mean wtf its not like im a rebel or something!

They would seriously want me to stay home all day, watching tv, studying, being an AFC if they had the option. And the fuked up thing is im starting to fall for this! I feel like im letting my parents down by not being who they want me to be. Dont know what path of life i should choose. Be an AFC with my parents being proud and happy with me. Or a DJ with my parents upset?

Anyway just thought id post this and see peoples views on this.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Unless you truly enlightened parents, or they are well-educated, doctors, accountants, lawyers, advisors, politicians, professors, business owners, etc, most parent's will be afraid, unsure, self-conscious, etc.

Why?

Because typically our lives are the product of whom is involved. Meaning, our level of consciousness can only fly as high as our teachers. If people constantly beat you down, you begin to believe in THEIR reality. Don't fall for it!

See, I've been there and done. As much as I love my parents dearly, my mother is a hard-working mother and nurse and my father is a blue collar guy, after having lost a family business. Their current values COULD impact my own, but they don't. I went on to college, and assumed many risks they don't, and won't. I have since started my own business and entered into a partnership on another.

You have to go your own way, no matter what. It's only your life if you do that. If not, it's their life, you'll live their dreams, and end up where they want you to go. Children who rebel against their parents for good or worse at least own their lives. Sometimes parent's do know better, and sometimes they don't. Remember, some parents had babies while they were babies, so they never had a chance to iron out life either. And some just have different tendencies.

Go about your life, but also respect your parents. Unless they say something, continue on. If something comes up, have a conversation about it.


A-Unit

 

[true|hockey]

They do their utmost best to make me a AFC.

My parents did the same thing to me. after 18 years living with parents, one tends to keep those habits for better or for worse. you, like me, don't totally begrudge our parents for trying to do what is right, but come on....if your gonna meet women and have a shot, one cant be quiet, humble, a pushover, yadda yadda. You know where I am going with this.

the best thing is, my parents still think I sit around on saturday nights. yup, I am studying all right.....those hotties over there. My grandmother doesnt think im old enough to date yet. how old do I have to be??? 30???

seriously, family = drag you down. they even wonder why I never got a gf in high school. Could it be becasue I sat around alot ??? naaaahhhh

 

[Fatality]

I think parents are to blame for just about eevrybody being an AFC.

 

[rgeere]

Well, afcs do what afc does ... Not even our parents are immune to that.

But atleast we don't have to live our lives out ignorantly like our parents did.

 

[Luveno]

I know exactly what you guys are goin through. I grew up living with 3 women who hated men, and one man who was whipped beyond belief( the man was a husband of one of the women who was not my mother. My father was never a part of my life). Of course, all of these women had been mistreated by the men in their life, and thus tried to raise me as the type of guy they would have liked to see: honest, humble, smart, talented, and non-confrontational. The thing is they left out the most important part: confident.
I was taught basically not to stand up for myself - to turn the other cheek - and not do anything like drink or have sex. Needless to say, I was a little AFC.
Then I went to college. First year was a write-off because my AFC ass was trampled on by the real world.
Second year was better...I became outgoing and unintimidated by new situations.
Third year I tackled the mystery known as "woman", with the help of the main page of sosuave.com ...eleven women that year know how lucky it was to have the opportunity to be with me.
Fourth year I was completely in my element, and graduated as one of the most popular people at my university.
Now I'm in a very exclusive program, and will be living a great, enjoyable life, never bored with my occupation or life outside of it.

So the moral of the story is: never feel guilty about pursuing your desires, and NEVER feel guilty about putting people in their place.

Take what you can from life, because it is the most miserly thing in existence.

 

[Hollowpoint]

For perspective:

One of the concerns my parents had, if I ever had a girlfriend, was the chance that I might get her pregnant.



But just recently, my mom came to me and said she was happy/impressed that I never had those (paraphrase ) 'crazy girl emotional issues.' Hahaha, trust me, I was almost in freak out mode when my girl's period came late.

Nothing I can't handle.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Originally posted by jason86
Everytime im about to go out or get a call from anyone, i can see it in their eyes that theyre thinking 'oh no our boys a dj or whatever'.

Damn dude, you've got some crazy ESP going with your parents! That must really suck when you're whacking off or trying to have some sex.

 

[JazzPimpNYC]

I hear you out, man. I doubt your parents will mind if you do things in groups, which in my opinion is an awesome way to try out your game with a little competition on the playing field (The women competing over you, that is). If you meet a girl that you're interested in, invite her to hang out with you and some of your friends and their friends. This way the pressure is off in such a casual atmosphere and you'll have less chance of awkwardness. Of course, there is no substitute for one-on-one, but this is a good way to kick things off until you feel comfortable. I would suggest that when you do the group thing to go out, and not chill at your or a friend's house. Save that until you're better aquainted.

Also, your parents should be surprised on how much you don't use the phone. Its just to let her know that you want to get together. Check this...

Me:"Hey, Shareen. It's Tim"

Her:"Hey, how are you doing"

Me:"Great. Hey, listen, I'm going out (movie, bowling, concert, etc.) [optional: with some friends of mine] tonight (or tomorrow)and I want you to come

Her:"Sounds like fun(, I would love to)"

Me:"Great. I'll be by around 7:00, ok?"

Her:"That should be fine"

Me:"I'll see you then, ok? Call me if anything comes up."

Her:"Sure! Bye!"

*click*

A phone call like that takes less than 60 seconds and it gets the job done. Never ramble on by asking her meaningless questions like "How was you day?" or "Are you boobs natural?"; Save the talk for when you two are together. And NEVER use instant messenger.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You need to move out and get your own place. There's no better catalyst to becoming a DJ than having your own place.

 

[alnite]

I think they are just being overly protective. Parents never liked their kids going out every weekend. If you go out with your friends, they are going to ask a bunch of questions about your friends.

"Who are you going out with?"

"Who is Deborah?"

"Who is Tim?"

You are still 17, they will still keep their eyes on you, unless you can prove to your parents that you are a mature man.

 

[jason86]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
You need to move out and get your own place. There's no better catalyst to becoming a DJ than having your own place.

Yeh my goal is to move out in no less that 6 months. My parents are for it, which is sweet. I seriously cant fukin wait, lets say that.
Its one dream of mine coming home without trying to stop my buzz from a weed/drink binge.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by jason86
Yeh my goal is to move out in no less that 6 months. My parents are for it, which is sweet. I seriously cant fukin wait, lets say that.
Its one dream of mine coming home without trying to stop my buzz from a weed/drink binge.

Being older and (ehem) wiser (yeah right) I will give you a bit of advice. I've learned that everyone has their vices, so be it. The thing to keep in my that you should never EVER loose control. Loosing control means giving up your power. Drugs and alcohol not only release your inhibition but also relinquishes your control HOWEVER, that only happens when you OVERINDULGE.

Do what you must, go ahead and party hearty if you must, but try your best to not give up your control. Doing so will make your life harder than it really needs to be.

So go ahead and have fun "responsibly".
D@mn I feel like a dad, gotta stop that; it's messing up my buzz...