parents are strict-about going out

[joe45]

ok llets say u live with ur folks college student-24 yrs asian guy old, and ur parents don't let u go out a night time-b/c they are strict-they want u to study-even in the daytime, but less wise in the daytime-as i can say i go to the library-6pm the library closes so i have no more excuses, they want u to study all day and night and even-weekends too. i live at home and yea they are strict

i kinda of want to ask this girl out, what do i do? one strategy was to tell the girl i work at night time a lot, and day times are free-except for the days i go to school, so pretty much saturday like afternoons.-tell folks i go to libary and for like 2 hrs hang out with the girl or so anymore excuses or anything

i don;t want to tell the girl-well ah my parents don't let me go out at night time-ah she'll think and laugh right hahhaha, yea and its unheard of. for some reason my parents are so strict-school and career is number one and they don;t care about anything else. freinds or gf or sports they don;t even want me to have or participate, nothing just school school and all of it. what do i do. my parents are old school and old fashioned and are chinese immigrants-i was born in canada-most asian i talk to aren;t like this but mine. helpppppp. i pretty much have no life or social life-that what made me antisocial. never had gf or even hardly any friends

 

[Mjfan12]

My parents arent as strict, but they are very overprotective.

They treat me like im 9 instead of 19.

Whenever I go out, they *****, etc.

I also have a crappy social life because of this.

Why dont you move out? thats the only solution.

Im DIEING to get the F*ck out of here!

I just need to get my finances in order so I can get a place with friends, or I'm planning on transferring to a school farthur away so I can dorm.

 

[Javelin44]

24? im 14 and ive got my parents to give me more freedom than that. talk to them. they will give you little by little.

 

[Interpol]

You're 24, I think the obvious solution at this point is to stop living with your parents.

 

[lebRambo]

^^^^

Interpol is right. I have seen your position before. its always really annoying. My advice would be either to move out, or let your parents know that, in no uncertain terms, you are an adult now and have been for some time, and that you are no longer going to put up with this kind of crap.

 

[Bloke]

I ahte to remind you of this....

BUT YOUR 24 YEARS OLD !

 

[DJ_in_making]

Yea, a lot of my asian friends have very strict parents too. But having no social life is hurting you more than its helping you, even if you are getting good grades....
However, you are an adult now, I'm not gonna say MOVE OUT THE HOUSE b/c I don't know you're situation. But no one should be able to tell a grown man where he can and can't go, or that he shouldn't be dating..... that's gonna really hurt u in the long run.

 

[Black_Italian]

You’re an adult YOU ARE NOT UNDER YOUR PARENTS CONTROL.

If those Nazis want you to stay at home all your life and give up your chances of having a normal healthy social life then rebel.

You won’t be the first or the last.

 

[seroph]

Sup man. I'm 19, Asian. Living on campus currently. I know exactly what you're talking about. I sorta just tested my limits slowly.. over the course of sr yr high school. and now they're pretty cool and lax.

moving out would be chill, gettin' ur own pimpin' bachelor pad, but that's only good if you've got the $$.

good luck, man

-JP

 

[BrotherAP]

I think it's time to cut the umbilical cord, buddy. Your parents have no business dictating how you spend your free time at 24. Seriously, do they think you're their pet or something? So next time your mom offers to breast feed, declare "No thanks. I'm all growed up now!" and go find a cute young girl's tits to suck on instead.

Sarcasm aside, I really wish I could just beat you senseless for having so little control over your life. At this point, "gaining freedom" isn't even the beginning of what you need - you need to be emancipated, and only a domestic civil war will do it. You can't tell your parents 'no', but it's something you have to do!

Grow some balls, and go out. When your mom asks what your doing, tell her your 'getting drunk with my friends'. Your 24, for chrissakes, you can do whatever the hell you want.

If you cannot do this on your own, get a therapist. A counselor. A psychiatrist. You cannot possibly live with your parents like this for any longer unless you want to live for somebody else your entire life. What happened to what you wanted to do? How are you ever going to get a girl if your parents treat you like you're 5 years old? Face it, your parents are obviously control freaks to an unhealthy extreme, and you are going to have to piss them off to gain your freedom.

If your not motivated yet, consider this:
You are 24 years old. Assuming that you live to be 100, then you will be done with a full quarter of your life within a year. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life wishing that you had actually lived, you need to get out of there now and start doing what you want.

You are so deep in, however, I worry that nothing I could say will get you out of there. I still will try.

I have an excercise for you. Make plans to go out with your friends. Do not tell your parents. Arrange to have somebody pick you up if your car belongs to your parents, or if they can somehow prevent you from driving. As you leave, casually mention to your parents that your "going out". Don't answer any more questions, just repeat "I'm just going out with some friends, good bye". If they try to stop you, inform them very angrily and firmly "Do you think I'm still a child? I'm 24 years old... and I'm going out with my friends" (they should be waiting outside at this point). Whatever you do, do not take no for an answer. If they block the door, jump out a window. Just make it clear that you are going to go out in spite of what they say - because you want to.

 

[Black_Italian]

Nazis your parents are Nazis asian Nazis but Nazis none the less

 

[DJ_in_making]

Do u happen to be the baby in the family?

 

[BrotherAP]

I'd guess only child

 

[joe45]

no i am not baby of family-eldest . parents like this with sis 22 and bro 20

 

[Black_Italian]

are your brother and sister also Nazis?

 

[upcomingDJ]

sh*t that sucks man.. i am 16 and i've been thru this (and still am) but my parents are learning to let go because i confronted them about it...

i showed them i am independent and proved my trust by not getting into trouble and becoming responsible...

i have a job so i am paying 80% of my necessities, i also cook for myself almost all the time, i drive myself to everywhere, i do my own laundry, go out with friends, basically i show them i am responsible... (btw i am asian as well and able to maintain a 3.9 gpa..)

what you need to do is become independent and STOP finding approval from your parents ( i bet you ask your parents their opinions on many things huh? )

gradually, and hopefully they will understand you are an individual and becoming a man..

do yourself a favor and find a way to move out of your parents' house because i plan to move when i am 18-19 ... anyways good luck!

 

[joe45]

ok lets say u tell her u work nights which u don;t -trying to find a job , and the only time ur free is the afternoons and u go out lets say every fri, or sat afternoons, eventually i was talking to a freind and she said ah no wouldn;t work b/c she'll suspect ur cheating. what do u guys think. and if she does how can i make it without suspecting. would it work for u as a guy or gal if the person u were dating only had the afternoons free- and said yea i work nights. would u go for it.

 

[joe45]

Originally posted by Black_Italian
are your brother and sister also Nazis?

ah nooo