Paralysis by Analysis

[WestCoaster]

I worked (and still do from time to time) in the sports industry and know many college and high school coaches and they have a term called "paralysis by analysis." I'm sure most of you have heard it.

It means you're over-thinking. Sure, the great athletes -- Andre Agassi, Joe Montana, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Tom Brady, etc. -- think there way through matches and games very well. However, they're thought patterns are so intact that they can instinctually do their sport without thinking. When they overthink, that's when problems arise. A quarterback who overthinks gets sacked too often, instead of just throwing the ball to the open receiver.

Where am I going with this (good question!) ... well, I posted the "Kiss of Death" by Allen Thompson below, a must-read for DJs, aspiring DJs, and AFCs. Quit thinking about women's emotions, motives, or actions is what Allen says.

The second most popular posts here (trailing only "how do I get my gf back" posts) is "why, why, why did she act this way?"

We don't know why ... heck, neither does the woman know why she acted that way.

Quit thinking. Women do things because they feel good; men do things analytically. Men like to know how things work, that's why some of us fix computers, others cars, or others like to work in logical-oriented professions (law, engineering, etc.) Women think for the moment, men look long term and want to figure out why.

I remember one of my girlfriends was about ready to dump me, really for no reason. She tossed it by some gals she barely knew, gave them details, and they said she'd be nuts to dump my sorry ass. She stayed with me (wish her friends told her to dump me, she wasn't worth the time but I was an AFC ...) based on an opinion from people she barely knew. She acted on the moment and based everything on pure emotion.

Men want to analyze each and every situation, which can be better than living for the moment, but it's best to not overthink. If a woman dumps you, there might not be any reason other than that she just feels like doing it. I've seen women dump men for good reasons or for no reasons, or because they're having a bad hair day. Quit analyzing and move on, you won't "fix" this problem. You're overthinking.

Someone wrote here that they took a girl's virginity and couldn't believe she'd dump them. REALLY? That's naive. Women dump these kinds of men all the time. Don't think about it. You're dumped, move on. The overthinking will kill you, it's paralysis by analysis.

Here's what you should be thinking: She dumped me, I'm free, and look at that other stylish woman strolling down the street, I want to meet her!

 

[penkitten]

do that "free at last " quote in your head over and over ....

 

[GirlCrazy]

I used to watch the Marahishi Mahesh Yogi on public TV late at night when I worked at a gas station decades ago.

He used to talk about something called "Spontaneous right action", which is acting immediately and correctly without thinking about it. A good example is learning to drive a stick shift. Once you have it down, you drive the car without thinking about it. His example was that a flower doesn't contemplate how it will grow, it just grows.

Analysis is a useful tool, but when used to excess it can lead to second guessing yourself to the point of inaction. So it's important to ask yourself "how can I do better next time", that's how we improve.

Analysis directed towards questions like "why hasn't she called" or "does she like me" isn't going to give you a meaningful answer, and obsessing about it won't get you anywhere.

That's where the paralysis comes from: obsessing about a question that there's no good answer to, or an answer you don't like. So when Tiger Woods has a slump, analysis is his enemy.

I guess it's a tribute to the human mind that we can outsmart ourselves on such a consistent basis.

 

[Jamo]

Also

This is a characteristic of all women in general, but I do believe culture can tempers such frivolousness. In general I find American girls to be far more "casual" about things (aside from just sex) than Euro/Asian women (I have dated/known a few, and I would never ever date one again)