maybe its because i had a few beers. or maybe its because i know i made a mistake. maybe both. i needed to vent.
made a huge rookie mistake tonight. Ex gf (you know, the reason i signed up for this forum after googling what was wrong with this chick, BPD) snapchats me that shes at the bar. and after a few exchanges i drive up. idk if i was curious or because ive been in a drought the past few weeks, but i go. dumb dumb.
get there and the bartender is hitting on her and her friend. I knew it was going to end w. me being angry but i stayed anyways. we have a few conversations about how things are going and after like 20 minutes of that we were sorta quiet. She even called me out on it. It was me her, our friend and her friends boss. She tells me about her "sweet" apple orchard trip, but throws in cues to let me know she went with a dude.
i then start playing on my phone to act busy, and the bartender and her just start talking, it was like she purposely had me go up to piss me off, because i had sex with some chick a couple weeks ago and she caught me.
So i buy one more round, for everybody since they all bought me one. chug it and hug her and our friend goodbye. As im walking out she says "dont be a stranger". HAAAAA. Touchee'.It never bothered me before when she came around, but tonight it did. And i know what she is, and i tell everybody else about these chicks, and for some reason although i know, i wanna fvc*ing text her something calling her a$$ out.
I know it gives her attention which is what she wants, but sitting here in my bed thinking about it doing nothing is aggravating the piss out of me. Shes a toxic bpd b1tch who holds a part of me that i always succumb to. I thought i was over it completely til tonight. Its been almost a year, and nope. to top it off, its been an hour and a half and not one text from her. Not one snapchat or call. Thats what aggravates me. If she did i could ignore it and feel better. But i cant cause i know i lost. And i know i lost because the first thing i did was check her facebook, which then led me here.
I've layed 8 different girls since december, 2 of them short relationships. Figured id be good.
I need to kill her ego boost somehow...
made a huge rookie mistake tonight. Ex gf (you know, the reason i signed up for this forum after googling what was wrong with this chick, BPD) snapchats me that shes at the bar. and after a few exchanges i drive up. idk if i was curious or because ive been in a drought the past few weeks, but i go. dumb dumb.
get there and the bartender is hitting on her and her friend. I knew it was going to end w. me being angry but i stayed anyways. we have a few conversations about how things are going and after like 20 minutes of that we were sorta quiet. She even called me out on it. It was me her, our friend and her friends boss. She tells me about her "sweet" apple orchard trip, but throws in cues to let me know she went with a dude.
i then start playing on my phone to act busy, and the bartender and her just start talking, it was like she purposely had me go up to piss me off, because i had sex with some chick a couple weeks ago and she caught me.
So i buy one more round, for everybody since they all bought me one. chug it and hug her and our friend goodbye. As im walking out she says "dont be a stranger". HAAAAA. Touchee'.It never bothered me before when she came around, but tonight it did. And i know what she is, and i tell everybody else about these chicks, and for some reason although i know, i wanna fvc*ing text her something calling her a$$ out.
I know it gives her attention which is what she wants, but sitting here in my bed thinking about it doing nothing is aggravating the piss out of me. Shes a toxic bpd b1tch who holds a part of me that i always succumb to. I thought i was over it completely til tonight. Its been almost a year, and nope. to top it off, its been an hour and a half and not one text from her. Not one snapchat or call. Thats what aggravates me. If she did i could ignore it and feel better. But i cant cause i know i lost. And i know i lost because the first thing i did was check her facebook, which then led me here.
I've layed 8 different girls since december, 2 of them short relationships. Figured id be good.
I need to kill her ego boost somehow...