Overqualifying

[40quid]

All of you have been lots of help in the last few months since I've started lurking and sometimes posting on this board.

Lately, my pool of women that I've been field testing on have been very intelligent, and aggressive women. This makes the job of a DJ very difficult because most of them are smart enough to know what you're doing, especially if you're just starting out.

However, I've noticed that when I start DJing other girls outside of that pool, my techniques and attitude either (1) works really well or (2) blows the girls out of the water to the point where they are completely intimidated.

Now, I've studied David DeAngelo's materials (thanks to a friend of mine) and he claims that keeping the girl off-balance with C&F is a good thing. Now, I've noticed that sometimes, this can intimidate a girl to the point where they just don't know what to say, and they just clam up.

Here's an example:

Last night, I was over at a friend's place to watch some of the NCAA tournement. There was this hot girl there as well. She was hooking up with my friend on the side, so, being a good friend that I am, I knew she was off-limits.

However, I would be engaging her, making her laugh, and just being myself -- and she was loving it. However, I could see it in her eyes (and she later told me) that she was completely intimidated by me. My friends told me later that she is usually a total princess that just talks a bunch of shyt, but I was the first guy to win the battle of wits with her. And I wasn't even trying!

So, my question is this -- do you find yourself inadvertantly overqualifying yourself? And if you do, what do you do about it? Do you just move on to the next chick, or do you do something to get the girl to open up again?

Thanks again for all of your help.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What exactly is your goal? Is it to be successful with any woman or with a particular type of woman? Once you decide you have to adjust your presentation.

If you're going after anyone in a skirt, you need to be extremely flexible in your approach. You need to be able to read the woman well enough to know when to lighten up or to press on. You can't just follow the exact same steps every time and expect it to work with every woman.

Conversely, if you are looking for a specific type of woman, you can be very specific in your approach since you are looking for a particular type of woman. You still may need to adjust your approach somewhat if you notice that the type of woman you're attracting isn't quite what you are looking for. But once you find the correct formula, follow it and you will attract that type of women pretty consistently.

In a nutshell, determine what you want and proceed accordingly.

 

[balengar]

exactly.

converge or diverge depending on what the target.

the best is to just adapt during the convo (which you will have to up your reading of people skills, but thats most of the battle of any pickup).

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Ive noticed this too...In my area, there are really few amazing looking girls, there are a handfull of them and EVERYONE knows who they are, and most of the other girls are average...I noticed when I started working out and wearing nice clothes, most of these average girls treat me funny, like they are intimidated or something, so I started toning things down, but im getting mad at myself because if I went at 100%, I could really do some damage...Maybe I should go somewhere else where there are better girls?

As far as the question, I would stick with the first group of girls, cause it would be more satisfying (sp?) to conquer a challenge...

 

[40quid]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
What exactly is your goal? Is it to be successful with any woman or with a particular type of woman? Once you decide you have to adjust your presentation.

I see what you're saying. I find that the teasing, C&F technique works really well with intelligent, quick-witted women (who are also physically attractive). Low self-esteem women (regardless of looks) really have a trouble keeping up with C&F, especially if you're pretty quick.

Unfortunately, I don't really know how to open up quieter, shyer, or low-self esteem girls that well. I just find that I overqualify myself more times than not.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by 40quid
I see what you're saying. I find that the teasing, C&F technique works really well with intelligent, quick-witted women (who are also physically attractive). Low self-esteem women (regardless of looks) really have a trouble keeping up with C&F, especially if you're pretty quick.

Unfortunately, I don't really know how to open up quieter, shyer, or low-self esteem girls that well. I just find that I overqualify myself more times than not.

You are getting the point. I agree that the more self confidence a woman has, the more she is attracted to and reciprocates c/f.

On the flip side, milder women who are not as sure about themselves tend to be overwhelmed with very confident men. They tend to go for the guys who they feel they can offer something to the guy and be appreciated for it. What could they offer a guy who seems to own the world and also seems to have everything they could possibly need? Absolutely nothing! So they feel intimidated.

Again the question lies in your court on which type of woman YOU are interested in. Do you enjoy women that can hold their own and could even be a challenge in themselves, or would you prefer a woman who enjoys following your lead as long as she feels that she has enough fortitude to keep up with you?

The choice is yours, but understand that without making that choice, you may just spend your wheels for a very long time.

 

[squirrels]

If you read a lot of the material on ASF about "****y-Funny" and "neg-hits", a lot of it tells you right there that those techniques are for liberal use with 9s and the fabled "10"...if you bust them out on a 7 or 8 too often or too harshly, it CAN pop the bubble that their ego precariously floats on.

In other words, if you try to bust the pedestal out from under her and it turns out she's not ON a pedestal, you end up hitting the knees instead.

I actually did this last night and didn't even realize it. (of course it was in something of an obnoxious way, since I had been drinking) I busted a girl's chops for making fun of this other girl I'd been macking earlier on, and she was so devastated she ran into the basement crying. I mean, she had it coming...it was blatant jealousy and she was playing holier-than-thou, but needless to say, I ended up hurting her feelings and I wasn't a very popular person for the rest of the night.

Personally, I'm starting to find women who DON'T put up a bit of an attitude challenge to be somewhat boring. It's refreshing to be up against a girl who's secure in herself enough that she can laugh at herself and have fun and can actually push back when I push.

But then, if you're not into that kind of girl, then don't push so hard.

 

[40quid]

Originally posted by squirrels
In other words, if you try to bust the pedestal out from under her and it turns out she's not ON a pedestal, you end up hitting the knees instead.

I totally understand what you're saying. A good example is what happened last night. She was a type of girl who was totally used to owning all the interactions that she had with men, because she's reasonably attractive. However, after teasing her about her stilleto heels and her nickname, she couldn't take anymore. I think that I had her boxed in a bit.

I was very confused why this was the case, but reading your posts and thinking about it, I finally understand. She's not, by any means outrageously attractive. The front that she was putting up was exactly that: a front. After a few neg hits, she was reeling from it.

Oh well. Live and learn. At least she was still cozying up to my friend when I left.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by squirrels
If you read a lot of the material on ASF about "****y-Funny" and "neg-hits", a lot of it tells you right there that those techniques are for liberal use with 9s and the fabled "10"...if you bust them out on a 7 or 8 too often or too harshly, it CAN pop the bubble that their ego precariously floats on.

In other words, if you try to bust the pedestal out from under her and it turns out she's not ON a pedestal, you end up hitting the knees instead.

D@mn good point. I had never enjoyed giving neg hits because I never thought they were necessary. I never thought that was because I am never attracted to HB9-10s that had piss poor attitudes. Now that I think about it, I would use a neg hit on a woman that was too full of herself. Again, I wouldn't be attracted to her but a little bit of reality could do her wonders.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

I've run into this too and find clammed up girls to be boring to talk to. Yes vary the approach but how DOES one maintain a conversation with intimidated women without sticking to bland small talk that goes nowhere? I've asked these girls questions about themselves, trying to open them up, and they give as little info as possible. And how does one flirt with such an ice sculpture?

 

[dillin]

Yeah I agree the more average girls can get intimidated when a guy is VERY confident but I think the guys whole look plays a big role too. If a guy dresses extremely well, all the latest expensive clothing straight from Italy it can surprise girls because alot of girls are used to dressing better than guys but then a guy who looks good and dresses better than them comes along, it can be intimidating aslong as the guys super confident.

 

[40quid]

I think that this thread might have run itself into the ground. However, there is one more interesting point.

I am still new at this -- I encountered www.fastseduction.com barely a year ago, and I was a total WBAFC, I find that some of my "game mode" acts are a huge compensation for what I used to be.

Much of the personal improvements I made were done when I was away from my usual environment. Therefore, sometimes, I see that it's hard for the people who knew the "old me" to accept the new DJing 40quid.

I've just resigned to the fact that I just don't care what those other people think of me.

So my point is -- do you find yourself overqualifying yourself partially to (1) overcompensate for who you used to be and (2) more destructively, to keep women at a distance because you're not sure about the "new you" and you're afraid if they got to know you, the "old you" would slip through?