Over 6 months now since EX GF...

[Slick101]

Whoever knew my situation I was really attatched to my EX and it was hard to break it off.. I was in LTR+LDR (2 1/2 years) I finally did it 6 months ago and never contacted her since.. Even tho she reached out to me On Facebook message (she is not my friend on facebook).. And she also sent me a looooonggg email.. that I never responded to.. telling me how maybe in the future we can get together and BLAH BLAH BLAH.. I never reached back out to her because I knew it would be wrong...

6 months later (NOW)....

It took me a while to get over her, I still miss her. I still think about her everyday, and it doesnt hurt me, but it does bother me. When I recall the memories of meeting and the fact that I cant believe its been 6 months since I havent spoken to her and seen her shocks me a bit. TIME FLIES! Sometimes I still cry at night to be honest, I question if Im over her or not.

Now my question is.. Why do I still feel like this?..

DO I MISS HER? OR DO I MISS THE FEELING OF ATTATCHMENT?

Thanks alot guys

P.S.. Advices such as.. go get another girl is BS, I have NP doing that, I have 3 chicks Im talking to now and still posses that feeling

 

[2crudedudes]

I was on and off with an ex for a few years, more or less exclusive but not technically "bf/gf". I couldn't see myself letting her go, but I couldn't see myself settling down with this girl.

She moved out of state, which was extremely difficult to deal with (our first real "break" lasting more than a couple of days), and she suggested that I move in with her at her new place.

This made me think: do I miss her that much?

The answer is a resounding NO.

We had too many problems, too many arguments, and the overall value of the relationship was too low for me to even consider this idea.

She's an ex for a reason, and while I was miserable the first few months without her, I was well aware that I didn't want to get back together THAT bad.

Unfortunately for me, I'm kind of an idiot without discipline, and had she not moved away, I'd probably still be with her.

TL;DR: its most likely that you miss your comfort zone, and only time will heal your wounds. Sounds like you're doing the right thing by talking to other girls, which is more than I have done.

Nevertheless, its still gonna take time and a lot of "not thinking about her".

 

[prairiedog24]

Honestly I really think these major cases take a year or so. You've reached stage 2 where you can be like "wow, where has the time gone?" but deep down you still miss her. Next year this time it's a lot more likely that you wouldn't WANT to talk to her, not just know that it'd be stupid.

It's quite liberating once you reach that place.

 

[Slick101]

Well Im thinking wow I cant belive its been 6 months!... Im just shocked I guess

 

[bish0p]

Now my question is.. Why do I still feel like this?..

DO I MISS HER? OR DO I MISS THE FEELING OF ATTATCHMENT?

Simply put...you're a pansy.

Nah I'm kidding. I wonder the same thing about me and my ex (who was ten years older than me) who I've been broken up with for about 8-9 months. I still think about her quite a bit and miss her even though I believe I dodged a bullet (she really is crazy).

I also have a new girl who's really into me, but sometimes I can't help myself...like today for instance...for no reason, and for the first time since the break up, I gathered up the courage to ride by the old apartment we shared together (we both moved out a while ago), just to see how I would feel.

It brought back memories, but like you, they don't affect me as badly. I think like someone else mentioned, it takes a while to get over. Maybe a year or 2 (or more).

Anyways, good job staying strong with NC.

 

[Slick101]

Simply put...you're a pansy.

Nah I'm kidding. I wonder the same thing about me and my ex (who was ten years older than me) who I've been broken up with for about 8-9 months. I still think about her quite a bit and miss her even though I believe I dodged a bullet (she really is crazy).

I also have a new girl who's really into me, but sometimes I can't help myself...like today for instance...for no reason, and for the first time since the break up, I gathered up the courage to ride by the old apartment we shared together (we both moved out a while ago), just to see how I would feel.

It brought back memories, but like you, they don't affect me as badly. I think like someone else mentioned, it takes a while to get over. Maybe a year or 2 (or more).

Anyways, good job staying strong with NC.

For sum reason... Im angry now.. Im sitting here at work.. And Im just angry for usm reason I dont know if its because I feel this way after 6months...

I sometimes think... what would it be like if I contact her?... I know I wont do it and it would be wrong... But My heart still wants me to do it...

Thats why Im confused if its HER Im missing... Or the ATTATCHMENT AND COMPFORT I am missing?

 

[Ease]

You have 3 girls your talking to?

If 'talking to girls' isn't doing the trick, you need to find a new girlfriend.

Trust me it will be like a weight off your shoulders when you are in a new relationship with a new girl that is crazy about you. You can have everything you had with your ex again with a new girl. You only really realise it when it happens though.

 

[L B]

Your thread got me thinking about prior relationships I have had. I'm not talking about the hit and run short term ones, but the long term ones where you actually care about the person. Each relationship offers different experiences: some good and some bad, but you will remember at least one thing about it. In your case, it is probably that attachment and comfort that she reminds you of.

Don't fall for it. For some reason, we only remember the good times when we reminisce. An ex is an ex for a reason. If it didn't work out the first time, it won't the second time. I say don't contact her and don't look back. Move on with your life.

 

[Slick101]

Your thread got me thinking about prior relationships I have had. I'm not talking about the hit and run short term ones, but the long term ones where you actually care about the person. Each relationship offers different experiences: some good and some bad, but you will remember at least one thing about it. In your case, it is probably that attachment and comfort that she reminds you of.

Don't fall for it. For some reason, we only remember the good times when we reminisce. An ex is an ex for a reason. If it didn't work out the first time, it won't the second time. I say don't contact her and don't look back. Move on with your life.

Thats exactly what Im doing... I never contacted her.. I just look back and remenice when I just met her and all the good times we've had and how I cant belive its been 6 months... And that just scares me for sum reason and I feel like I miss her... (or being in a relationship)...

The fact that its been 6 monthss and I still feel bad about it :-(

 

[cavedweller]

Slick,

It is going to take awhile to get her behind you..You need to keep moving foward..

 

[Slick101]

Yah,... Well Ive been doing fine... The last 2 days Im thinking NON-STOP for sum reason and its affecting me.. Id'e like to know why?

 

[2crudedudes]

Yah,... Well Ive been doing fine... The last 2 days Im thinking NON-STOP for sum reason and its affecting me.. Id'e like to know why?

because you let it happen. At least that's been the case with me.

Do this:

Every time you start thinking about her, think about something else. Don't let the thought plant a seed in your brain. Smother it before it becomes a pain in the ass.

 

[sagexx]

Yah,... Well Ive been doing fine... The last 2 days Im thinking NON-STOP for sum reason and its affecting me.. Id'e like to know why?

maybe ur bored and not doing anything else fun. when im bored i think and end up getting frustrated. but hanging out with friends and family, and doing things u enjoy keeps u off this topic. honestly i think about my ex also and actually want her to talk to me, but what good will that do? none!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Yah,... Well Ive been doing fine... The last 2 days Im thinking NON-STOP for sum reason and its affecting me.. Id'e like to know why?

Slick,

Was this chick your first serious gf? Because if it was, almost every single guy in the world will always think about their first serious exgf from time to time. Obviously as the years go by you don't think about it as much, until you reach a point where you rarely if ever do.

In any case what I've noticed is that when I'm not going out as much or I'm not dating I tend to think about past relationships. Not because I miss those chicks, most of them were completely nuts...haha, I tend to do it to fill the space if that makes sense.

You ex was a total byatch in my opinion, I know you'd never go back or contact her, but don't beat yourself up for thinking about her. There isn't some hard set rule that says after X amount of months post break-up you should not be thinking about your ex or else!

With that said, you need to become busy, start going out more, force yourself to make new friends and join more social circles and you WILL meet plenty of new girls that make you forget about your ex. Whether you over her or not, you can and should start dating and date as many women as you can. Have fun, don't get into anything serious and surround yourself with high quality people..... no more stripper bs....




PIMP

 

[EA Gold]

Let me ask you..

Were you happy before this girlfriend? Just think what you were doing, living life to its fullest, reaching your dreams. Then you allow a girlfriend to come into your life and then what happens, you break up and now your sad for months on end. Now lets say you never met that girlfriend, ask yourself what you would be doing or what would you had done already...

My advice is to do that very thing, today!

Just stop being sad right now, and put a smile on your face for the rest of the day.

 

[Slick101]

Slick,

Was this chick your first serious gf? Because if it was, almost every single guy in the world will always think about their first serious exgf from time to time. Obviously as the years go by you don't think about it as much, until you reach a point where you rarely if ever do.

In any case what I've noticed is that when I'm not going out as much or I'm not dating I tend to think about past relationships. Not because I miss those chicks, most of them were completely nuts...haha, I tend to do it to fill the space if that makes sense.You ex was a total byatch in my opinion, I know you'd never go back or contact her, but don't beat yourself up for thinking about her. There isn't some hard set rule that says after X amount of months post break-up you should not be thinking about your ex or else!

With that said, you need to become busy, start going out more, force yourself to make new friends and join more social circles and you WILL meet plenty of new girls that make you forget about your ex. Whether you over her or not, you can and should start dating and date as many women as you can. Have fun, don't get into anything serious and surround yourself with high quality people..... no more stripper bs....




PIMP

Deff. Makes sense... Thats What I feel sometimes... I know I should give myself more credit because, I never contacted her even tho she reached out to me twice... DOC LOVE'S ARTICLES.. Nailed it on point tho... Makes me understand the situation better... But you are right.. I have to build a better social circle..

Im reading a book now, "EveryDay Enlightement" By Dan Millman... Makes me feel better as well

 

[Slick101]

Let me ask you..

Were you happy before this girlfriend? Just think what you were doing, living life to its fullest, reaching your dreams. Then you allow a girlfriend to come into your life and then what happens, you break up and now your sad for months on end. Now lets say you never met that girlfriend, ask yourself what you would be doing or what would you had done already...

My advice is to do that very thing, today!

Just stop being sad right now, and put a smile on your face for the rest of the day.

Opened my eyes man!...

Before My GF.. I was even happier than when I was with her!... I used to always say to myself alloud, "I was soo happy before My GF, why did I get into this relationship, I knew it was pointless and I still suffered myself".

I felt on-top of the world before her.. NOW, I dont feel like that... TIME FLEW BY!!.. I want to feel happy and I do.. I was good for the last 2 months.. Now again Im in this zone of missing her... But I will put a smile on my face... I gotta stay strong and I do stay strong..

Honestly Guys,, I dont vent to my friends or family about this.. I never contacted her when I know most guys do... I just come here when I need help... So I think I should give myself more credit, but I dontt....

 

[EA Gold]

Alternate realities is still a theory, but I prefer to think of the Happier, richer and wealthier self.

Like for example you walk down the street and a girl says hi to you, you were happy so u hit it off and at the end she becomes your wife and live happily every after. Another possibility, you were thinking of the baggage of the past and scared of relationships so you say hi but you walk away thinking of watching a show on TV and never met her again.

This is just a theory but I think this kind of stuff happens everyday and I think if you want the results your looking for in life is to work on yourself, improve yourself and to let go of the past. Why should u let go of the past, because it isn't REAL! Whats real is now and when you do that you'll live the life you want to live by choosing it.

 

[Slick101]

Alternate realities is still a theory, but I prefer to think of the Happier, richer and wealthier self.

Like for example you walk down the street and a girl says hi to you, you were happy so u hit it off and at the end she becomes your wife and live happily every after. Another possibility, you were thinking of the baggage of the past and scared of relationships so you say hi but you walk away thinking of watching a show on TV and never met her again.

This is just a theory but I think this kind of stuff happens everyday and I think if you want the results your looking for in life is to work on yourself, improve yourself and to let go of the past. Why should u let go of the past, because it isn't REAL! Whats real is now and when you do that you'll live the life you want to live by choosing it.

Seems to me that you have read, The Peaceful Warrior!.... If you havent its an amazing book... But yes!... You are deff. RIGHT!... But letting go of past?... How does that really work?.. I mean its not physical thing.. I want to let go... But it doesnt seem to happen... Do you understand?