Outside of being a celebrity, can you really be "popular" after school?

[Listen_to_Olly]

Who gives a damn about popularity? Stop relying on others to make you happy. Happiness needs to be generated from within. By doing so, you stop relying on others, and you thus free yourself from their control over you

Well, generate your own happiness from within. You're probably a loser who lives in the basement of his parents' house but it's okay, that shouldn't matter. Do some mental gymnastics to make you feel better about yourself. By doing so, you stop posting on this forum, and you thus free yourself from the truth.

 

[Julian]

Well, generate your own happiness from within. You're probably a loser who lives in the basement of his parents' house but it's okay, that shouldn't matter. Do some mental gymnastics to make you feel better about yourself. By doing so, you stop posting on this forum, and you thus free yourself from the truth.

calling everyone who doesnt agree with you a loser is exactly whats wrong with you. figure out why you have such a need to put others down to build yourself up. you sound like a douchebag rn bro

tbh i cant even tell if you are trolling or not, like can someone seriously be this douchey they have to put such an emphasis on 'where do popular people go' type of sh1t..like you literally sound like you belong in sophomore year of highschool and havent changed your mindset at all. that type of thinking...that needing to belong to some popularity contest is the exact opposite of what this site preaches. you need to get your head out of your ass. when people in the real world say "this isnt highschool" its meant as an insult. as in, a real man isnt out there trying to be ib a popular group just to be popular. obviously your still circle jerking with your frat bros seeing who can win the soggy biscuit the fastest. ok that was uncalled for but your posts are annoying..you just sound stupid dude.

 

[BeExcellent]

calling everyone who doesnt agree with you a loser is exactly whats wrong with you. figure out why you have such a need to put others down to build yourself up.

This exactly. I'm glad you liked what I had to say but you need to keep decorum with everyone here. Not saying that to scold but bear in mind that different people have different opinions and read different things into the posts here. I'm an old lady by the standards of many here and I get excoriated for that at times. So what. Drive on. Be professional. The group has a lot to choose from and many diverse views.

As to your question about HOW to get socially hooked up that is going to depend on where you are to some degree. If you are in a big metropolitan area find some activities that have a social component like a raquet club or a wine enthusiast group, whatever things you want to know more about, support some charities and go to the events they put on, etc. If you are in a smaller community see if there is a Jaycees group (those are usually upwardly mobile young people and future influencers), get involved in community activities and planning committees, you'll have to figure out where the best pools of people are.

You can even frequent high end exclusive venues and get known there. This is how I meet many successful people (men and women), but learn to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I have a great girlfriend I met at an outlet store trying on shoes. Be open and unafraid to chat with people around you. Be conversational and expect everyone to have some sort of value. When you look for the value in other people, others feel good to be around you. When others feel good to be around you, they open toward you, introduce you around, and voila you are expanding socially.

Notice how it starts with you and your attitude. Quit worrying what you can do for yourself and how you can serve yourself and start thinking about what you can learn from others and how you can contribute to others. See the shift in focus and attitude there? Everyone cares about themselves first. Exceptional people actually care about others and have the ability at least to appear genuinely interested in others.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

calling everyone who doesnt agree with you a loser is exactly whats wrong with you. figure out why you have such a need to put others down to build yourself up. you sound like a douchebag rn bro

tbh i cant even tell if you are trolling or not, like can someone seriously be this douchey they have to put such an emphasis on 'where do popular people go' type of sh1t..like you literally sound like you belong in sophomore year of highschool and havent changed your mindset at all. that type of thinking...that needing to belong to some popularity contest is the exact opposite of what this site preaches. you need to get your head out of your ass. when people in the real world say "this isnt highschool" its meant as an insult. as in, a real man isnt out there trying to be ib a popular group just to be popular. obviously your still circle jerking with your frat bros seeing who can win the soggy biscuit the fastest. ok that was uncalled for but your posts are annoying..you just sound stupid dude.

Coming on to my thread and instead of answering the question, attacking me telling me I have issues, and yet you call ME the douchebag?

I get it, you clearly lack real world experience and are in your own little lala land where status doesn't matter, frat bros are the losers, and some "interesting" well spoken "real man" who probably goes LARPing and attempts to sound intellectual is a winner. If you want to live that fantasy, go for it, no one is stopping you. But you had to come on this thread and say I had issues, because this thread hit a nerve on you, brought back some uncomfortable memories didn't it loser?

You just want it all to end, desperately wishing that the popularity contests are now over so you can finally get those hot girls.

Well, it doesn't work like that. The popularity contests never ended after high school, they continued in college and no matter how much you hate those frat bros, they were balls deep in hot girls while you were probably watching porn in your dorm room. That's not it either, they also made good grades thanks to test banks and ended up getting their nice paying corporate jobs.

I get it, you're hurting.

You can't even allow discussion on here about being popular to happen and were the only one to attack me because it brings back some bad memories but son, the game isn't going to be nicer and more accommodating to losers like you because you want it to be.

Don't hate people like me for admitting that this stuff matters and helps a ton in getting laid because you just don't have what it takes to be liked. Don't start crying and throwing a tantrum because you can't swallow the bitter pill of popularity and status matter.

You want to go LARPing, play World of Warcraft, and watch anime porn then go ahead, but your opinion isn't needed or in any way helpful because:

1 - This is way too personal for you, you're pissed that frat bros got more ***** than you did.

2 - You're in denial about the importance of status.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

This exactly. I'm glad you liked what I had to say but you need to keep decorum with everyone here. Not saying that to scold but bear in mind that different people have different opinions and read different things into the posts here.

Ya well when "different people" come on this thread and tell me that I need to seek therapy because I admit an uncomfortable truth, all of the "decorum" goes out the window. You should work on your reading comprehension and see he was the one who is clearly hurting over the importance of popularity games.

 

[BeExcellent]

So now you insult me. Insults reflect on the people hurling them. Insults are a boomerang. They fly out but come back to their origin.

If you expect to accomplish stuff in life you must develop a thick skin. You must also develop the ability to recognize that something you are doing or saying is creating the way in which people respond to you.

You can take or leave the advice you are given but realize that someone else who may be in a similar spot in life might get different value and may benefit from the responses to your post.

The chip on your shoulder is preventing you from listening. Nobody promised only the answers you want to hear. The faster you recognize the chip on your shoulder the faster you'll get past it and advance where you want to go.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Op, I see you've recently joined this forum (which explains why I haven't seen on here before), but how old are you? You seem quite young and it's coming out with the things you post.

I had a good bit of success with girls in my high school and college days but looking back at it, it wasn't the sex and intimacy that I enjoyed that much. It's like, I liked being recognized as the guy that ****ed a hot girl and talking about it with my friends who were also higher status and sought after as opposed to actually ****ing a hot girl and being with her.

Do you know what high status "actually" means?

When you get older high status isn't about the girls you fvcked or the job you have, high status people see THEMSELVES as having value intrinsically.

High status people don't go about the world looking for permission to do things and they never go about seeking approval, why? Because you can never get enough approval.

High status people don't go about seeking other people who are the same, they attract people to themselves so it just happens.

Obviously I don't know you, but you come across as someone who likes to follow and tag along to what other people are doing. If you're doing things not for other people and not for your PRIMARILY, you're doing it wrong.

I do think you should know how to play the game but don't have too much respect for it.

 

[Phobos]

The vast majority of popular adults are those who provide value to others and seek to lift them up--not put them down to make themselves feel superior. It's obvious why you can't figure out where the "cool people" are hanging out: you're not one of them, you haven't earned it, and I doubt you will 'cause you sound like a total douchebag.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Sure guys, and nice guys don't finish last. That douchebag who pumped and dumped that hit b-tch is such a loser compared to the brave white knight that saved her and married her when she was well past her prime. I am also sure that some kind hippie who eats glutten free cupcakes is getting laid so much more than a nightclub promoter with a douchey attitude.

Seems like I am talking to a bunch of kids who were coddled in a safe space their entire lives.

 

[penkitten]

There's all sorts of small town popularity that those same high school kids have even when they get all old and gray and fat and balding. I'm not sure of the rules to it but I think once prom king/queen crowd just meets up with that same click in their local small bar on Tuesday nights until they all die. If you want, I could stop in and use the restroom and scribble your name and number and "for a good time call".... but I don't think that's what you're looking for either.