Out of all the numbers you get, how many end being flakes?

[Serg897]

Hey all,

I’ve recently been considering my stats when it comes to out of all the numbers I get how many end up flaking before I can even get a date. The number is unfortunately quite high – and Im wondering if I can compare with the rest of you.

Im big on the salsa/swing/ballroom dancing scene, and its an easy source for numbers. I get maybe 2 a week that I decide to close, perhaps a bit more when you count numbers obtained elsewhere.

Essentially, I would say that perhaps 40% of the numbers I get end up not even returning my first phone call (this is a rough estimate since I’ve started keeping track – could be slightly higher or lower.) The remaining 60% do return my calls or answer their phones, but most end up flaking before I can get a date. So overall, out of all the numbers I get, maybe 5-10% end up turning into dates. And out of those, a small number end up leading to date #2, and beyond.

I started keeping track a few weeks ago (I’ve got an excel sheet), so these numbers will get more accurate as time goes on – but given what I have so far, do these seem reasonable?

I come back last night from a night of dancing that only got me a little down in the dumps, as it seems my failure rate has been a bit high lately (a lot of girls flaking) and I see my ex with yet another new guy – and its obvious that she doesn’t give two ****s about me anymore (because I turned into a king AFC during the breakup). Residual feelings still exist, and try as I might I know its only going to take me more time to truly move on completely. Trust me, I am fully aware of the futility of having any sort of emotions for this woman anymore – its just difficult to control, especially when things aren’t working out for you as you want with other women.

One of those disappointing nights when you can only get mad at the universe and the cards its dealt, I guess. Today is another day and there are always more opportunities on the horizon.

I’d appreciate feedback. Perhaps there is an aspect of my game I need to work on. It may be because a small part of me is still hung up on the ex, and I recognize that.

More importantly, Im interested in how your numbers all compare.

 

[Scion]

I probably only go out with about 10% of the girls I get numbers from.

 

[Amazing]

when i started - 80%

now - 20%

 

[Serg897]

Yeah Im treating it a bit like a science now and days - I just realized maybe if I made a small attempt to put some numbers behind it I would get a better sense of how to improve. Im in a graduate student in science - this is how I think

No doubt, though, I think you're right that I could be improving the initial interaction. Thanks for that.

 

[808]

None. I only take the contacts of quality women who meet my standards.

 

[dj_china]

I have much much fewer approaches than you, probably one number/week or two weeks on avg

but my flake rate is 0% over a sample size of maybe 10-20 girls and at least k-close maybe 80%

 

[nismo-4]

when i started - 80%

now - 20%

You and I are gonna have to discuss these Atlanta ho's. What part of Atlanta are you in anyway?

 

[nismo-4]

when i started - 80%

now - 20%

You and I are gonna have to discuss these Atlanta ho's. What part of Atlanta are you in anyway?

 

[War Against Betaism]

Before I would get a flake like say 1 out of 8. Now it's more like only half, but that's also perhaps because I've gotten a good idea of who would flake out on me and who wouldn't and I don't bother with the ones that I don't have a good feeling for.

 

[Poonani Maker]

70% flake on me or hem and haw, so I cut them loose. I consider hemming and hawing to be "low interest" thus Flake and get the fvck out of my life and face then. Either they worship me or they're good riddance. They pretty much ALL want me for my money anyway. They know what I make, it's an instant attraction because of it. Then they think to themselves, "Oh, he's good-looking on top of that" cherry on top bullsh!t. So I'm looking for that rare bird, and I've found a couple, but even they, I have to cut loose. I'd rather go fishing that be with most women. Women are life. Men are death. Those rare ones, though, that I've talked about, I would Not mind being around constantly for the rest of my life, even if they hurt me, but they end up hurting me, and then I sabotage the whole thing by going back into my shell and not loving her no matter what our differences are about.

 

[COD]

THE average is about 1 for every 3 women you approach.

1-will flake flat out..........the trick is to spot these types initially
1-will be on the fence (u called them hem, haw)......they just need assurance from you.

1-will always be a sure thing.

there are ways to REDUCE FLAKES.............U gotta sift thru my past posts........wrote that one years ago

 

[macallik]

To the OP, I got around the same percentages as you. Don't beat yourself up over it, these numbers are pretty standard starting out and will get better as you go along and get better with women. At least that is what I tell myself when I dust myself off and chase after the next skirt.

What you are doing isn't working, just read up on some old threads/the bible, tweak some stuff here and there and see what you get.

 

[Pandora]

Hey man i totally feel where you are coming from. Those numbers seem about correct and are the same as my averages. Its about 1 out of every 12 or so will i end up doing. Most don't even pick up the call, and the majority flake.

Even for attractive guys, dating is essentially a numbers game. Its hard not to take it personal sometimes but you can not. You should also improve yourself. I honestly am starting to think the phone is the biggest impediment to dating for men. It so non confrontational and it gives women the perfect amount of space to rethink any thing she felt with you when she was face to face. I am sure your numbers are much better the more face to face time you get with the person.

 

[3countriesPlan]

I got 4 numbers last week at the club.. so far 2 have disappeared and the one that was the most interested totally flaked.. but there is one with strong interest.. looking to spend the night at my pad (setting up a beach date for us)..

I admit I guess I should lengthen the interactions
and maybe not lookj for numbers so much but rather kiss closes or f closes at the club

 

[Plinco]

How do you folks spot flakes? 50% to 75% flake on me.

 

[DonGorgon]

I F 1 or 2 hos for every 10 numbers ... its alot of BS going n these days.. hos lake cause tehy have 1000000 options and a boyfriend or two..

 

[Serg897]

It seems my numbers are actually pretty normal, disregarding the few guys who have posted "no girl ever flakes on me" replies.

If I was more conservative in getting numbers (only going for those I have great rapport with and who meet/exceed my standards), I'd problably get less flakes - lately I've been trying the brute force approach and getting as many numbers as possible.

 

[Hikapo]

For me 3 out of 17 so far.

Its pretty normal. We just have to deal with it.

 

[the305]

I haven't been flaked on in over two years, and I meet atleast 5 new women a week. Focus on befriending not "seducing" not "picking up", meet, socialize, and befriend.

Now i'm not going out with just my guy friend hoping to have a good night, im going out with 15+ of my girl friends, looking at guys standing around, looking at me, thinking i'm some rich douchebag, because in their mind that the only way, i could be hanging out with all these girls, when in reality they are all really good friends of mine.

Think i'm going to have problem meeting new women when I have 15+ already at the VIP with me, and yes you bring that many girls and your VIP is free, pretty much anywhere.